Depression

[MPH]

58 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

I need some help.

 

what’s going on , chap?

[MPH]

15 minutes ago, nathan. said:

I have been struggling as well mate.

 

Keep your chin up.

 

this is a great place to share! Can message me privately if you’d prefer to!

[Trav Le Bleu]

9 hours ago, ajthefox said:

I need some help.

What's the problem (s) mate? As MPH says, feel free to PM me. Get it off your chest.

 

Same goes for everyone else who feels they wanna talk. Christmas is a bleak time of year for many people and it annoys me that so many people think that it's just fun, fun, fun for everyone. That's not humbug, it's reality.

 

Lastly, if you really want to talk (and actually vocalising your concerns), you don't have to be suicidal before you call Samaritans - they'll always give a hearing ear. Call 116 123.

 

I've never used Samaritans, but I do appreciate that it's somehow different to actually talk it out verbally, because my wife is profoundly deaf and if I told her in sign language, it really doesn't feel the same as actually saying it. 

 

Peace and love to you all who are suffering through the bleak midwinter - enjoy what you can over the holidays. It's going to be very mild weather, so get out if you can, that really helps too.

[Raj]

Good luck to anyone struggling with issues as this period of the year can be very challenging.

Most of us have been in dark places at "festive periods".

You wont be the first or last.

Reach out to somone, anyone.

 

[bovril]

29 minutes ago, Raj said:

Good luck to anyone struggling with issues as this period of the year can be very challenging.

Most of us have been in dark places at "festive periods".

You wont be the first or last.

Reach out to somone, anyone.

 

Totally agree.

 

I am sure the majority of people have, at some point in their life, found this period very difficult. Have to say I'm not massively in the mood this year with everything going on.

 

Don't blame yourself or feel like there's something wrong with you if you're struggling to get through this holiday. And be thankful for what you've got, because we all have positive things in our life, including the very friendly and supportive network of people on this forum.

[SpacedX]

On 06/12/2023 at 20:04, HighPeakFox said:

I'm functioning but I know I'm dealing with a lot alongside my own personal patterns - both my parents seem to have very much begun the end of their lives, if that makes sense, and I am beginning to grieve them both before their minds go - I never thought I'd care about it but I find their slow demise very difficult.

I can empathise completely with this. I have never felt a bond with either of my adoptive parents. My Father was an academic, aloof and emotionally cold and had very little time for us. He was unquestionably an undiagnosed autistic. My Mother is a bitter and twisted person and a bundle of neurosis. They are both 90 and during Covid my Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. The cruel thing about Alzheimer's is not simply that it robs your memories, but your very identity, the person you were. Strangely, it has transformed him a very gentle, warm and appreciative person. All the cold harshness and regimentation is gone. Ironic that the very thing that defined him and his career, his brain, is now deserting him, which is very hard to witness. My biological Mother is Welsh and her husband has vascular dementia which is equally as cruel. My real Dad is an Irish rogue - as much as he irks me, I really should track him down again. Life is so short. I fully understand your sense of their imminent mortality and as you say, the demise is hard to process. 

 

Upshot is, I'm not a family oriented person. I am very close to and adore my daughter and son-in-law, whilst aside from them, from day to day the only real love I feel is for my partner...and our dog. That sounds quite tragic, but I really try to avoid emotional investment. It's harrowing enough supporting City. 

 

I wish you well over the Christmas period and for the New Year my friend. 

[Ian Nacho]

It's always a testing time of year for those with social/home lives not quite as they'd want. Dms always open if anyone wants a chat. 

[Trav Le Bleu]

3 hours ago, Raj said:

Good luck to anyone struggling with issues as this period of the year can be very challenging.

Most of us have been in dark places at "festive periods".

You wont be the first or last.

Reach out to somone, anyone.

 

Just not Raj. His dungeon is difficult to escape from.

[Parafox]

6 hours ago, Raj said:

Good luck to anyone struggling with issues as this period of the year can be very challenging.

Most of us have been in dark places at "festive periods".

You wont be the first or last.

Reach out to somone, anyone.

 

 

5 hours ago, bovril said:

Totally agree.

 

I am sure the majority of people have, at some point in their life, found this period very difficult. Have to say I'm not massively in the mood this year with everything going on.

 

Don't blame yourself or feel like there's something wrong with you if you're struggling to get through this holiday. And be thankful for what you've got, because we all have positive things in our life, including the very friendly and supportive network of people on this forum.

 

For a number of reasons, not least the MH of our eldest adopted daughter which has caused severe issues and conflicts over the years, I have come to be very stressed and anxious as Christmas approaches. I once quipped that the police have spent more Christmas days with us than with their own families because we have had to call them on many occasions over Christmas due to her erratic and often violent actions, including against herself.

 

Last year and again this year the relationship is at such a low that we didn't, and won't again, see her over Christmas. We feel sad that this is the case and that she's alone, but it's the safest for us. The situation really gets us down and causes tension.

 

Interesting to read @SpacedX post with regard to him being adopted and the relationship with his parents. We have often wondered about attachments with adopters and adoptees. 

 

She's now 31 and over the years it has become clear that she has attachment issues and increasing signs of mental ill health and depression and has been sectioned 3 times, twice in secure MH units. The crisis usually being around Christmas and the birthdays of her own two children who both were adopted when they were infants. So her MH understandably declines significantly at this time but the knock on effect makes Christmas one of the most difficult occasions of the year for us.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that if you dislike Christmas it can be for a variety of reasons and there's no need to feel you should fake it and pretend it's a jolly time.

 

Of course people who don't enjoy Christmas will feel pressured into going along with it. I have learnt to accept that I can get very down and grumpy at Christmas and, over time, Mrs P has come to understand and no longer gets on my case to "join in".

 

Anyway. I hope it's the best festive period it can be for all you good, kind, frivolous, clever, whimsical, witty, insightful argumentative (on the matchday thread) FT peeps 

 

 

 

 

Edited 24 December 2023 by Parafox

[Thefox81]

1 hour ago, Parafox said:

 

 

For a number of reasons, not least the MH of our eldest adopted daughter which has caused severe issues and conflicts over the years, I have come to be very stressed and anxious as Christmas approaches. I once quipped that the police have spent more Christmas days with us than with their own families because we have had to call them on many occasions over Christmas due to her erratic and often violent actions, including against herself.

 

Last year and again this year the relationship is at such a low that we didn't, and won't again, see her over Christmas. We feel sad that this is the case and that she's alone, but it's the safest for us. The situation really gets us down and causes tension.

 

Interesting to read @SpacedX post with regard to him being adopted and the relationship with his parents. We have often wondered about attachments with adopters and adoptees. 

 

She's now 31 and over the years it has become clear that she has attachment issues and increasing signs of mental ill health and depression and has been sectioned 3 times, twice in secure MH units. The crisis usually being around Christmas and the birthdays of her own two children who both were adopted when they were infants. So her MH understandably declines significantly at this time but the knock on effect makes Christmas one of the most difficult occasions of the year for us.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that if you dislike Christmas it can be for a variety of reasons and there's no need to feel you should fake it and pretend it's a jolly time.

 

Of course people who don't enjoy Christmas will feel pressured into going along with it. I have learnt to accept that I can get very down and grumpy at Christmas and, over time, Mrs P has come to understand and no longer gets on my case to "join in".

 

Anyway. I hope it's the best festive period it can be for all you good, kind, frivolous, clever, whimsical, witty, insightful argumentative (on the matchday thread) FT peeps 

 

 

 

 

If i could rep this post a hundred times i would. So brave and you must have the patience of a saint. Merry christmas to you and Mrs P

[Lionator]

22 hours ago, ajthefox said:

I need some help.

 

21 hours ago, nathan. said:

I have been struggling as well mate.

 

Keep your chin up.

If you ever need to let off some steam then please feel free to message me. I’ve been there, I’ve been suicidal, I know how it feels to see no future, when it feels like there’s no way back. But theres always a way and connections with others is one of the most important things! 

[UniFox21]

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you all enjoy the day. 

 

I read something Richard Osman had said recently. For those of you for whom Christmas is troubling, I hope you have a peaceful one. 

 

And I felt it's quite fitting for many here. We're pushed into happiness at this time of the year, it can be unsettling when you don't feel the same. So for those it resonates with, I wish you a peaceful day and the hope that a better year is in front of you.  

Edited 24 December 2023 by UniFox21

[UniFox21]

Happy new year all!

I hope 2024 brings us all a happier and healthier year than this just gone. 

 

We'll see a tonne of social media posts about how amazing people's 2023 has been, it's always tough when self comparing.

I've learnt just because I've not got a shiny picture to present to the world, doesn't mean this year hasn't had some amount of successes. 

[Trav Le Bleu]

25 minutes ago, UniFox21 said:

Happy new year all!

I hope 2024 brings us all a happier and healthier year than this just gone. 

 

We'll see a tonne of social media posts about how amazing people's 2023 has been, it's always tough when self comparing.

I've learnt just because I've not got a shiny picture to present to the world, doesn't mean this year hasn't had some amount of successes. 

Happiness is very much about being content with what you have, so long as you have enough. Western culture very much conditions people to always want more, regardless of how much they have.

[UniFox21]

9 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Happiness is very much about being content with what you have, so long as you have enough. Western culture very much conditions people to always want more, regardless of how much they have.

Couldn't have summed it up better myself. We've been convinced the rat race and grind culture is the way to go rather than actually being able to enjoy what we've worked for

[woollett the bullet]

17 minutes ago, UniFox21 said:

Happy new year all!

I hope 2024 brings us all a happier and healthier year than this just gone. 

 

We'll see a tonne of social media posts about how amazing people's 2023 has been, it's always tough when self comparing.

I've learnt just because I've not got a shiny picture to present to the world, doesn't mean this year hasn't had some amount of successes. 

Nicely put mate ,

                           I've got my own long term  battles with anxiety and depression .

I quite often visit these pages and take comfort ,  strength and support from you all . You are all a credit to yourselves and the forum. 

You mentioned ' successes ' and I  know  only too well what you mean  ,however success is a vary relative commodity. 

A success for me for example is to complete  a day at a time without ,lack of confidence,  low self esteem and subsequent self loathing and  the problems that go with it.

 

We don't  all have to be high fliers and go getters , we just need to set realistic  targets for ourselves ( however  insignificant to others ) and be totally  honest  with our families  ,friends and above all ourselves.

We are not 'failures ' by todays yardstick. 

Continue spreading the love. 

Peace to you all xx

[Raj]

1 hour ago, UniFox21 said:

Happy new year all!

I hope 2024 brings us all a happier and healthier year than this just gone. 

 

We'll see a tonne of social media posts about how amazing people's 2023 has been, it's always tough when self comparing.

I've learnt just because I've not got a shiny picture to present to the world, doesn't mean this year hasn't had some amount of successes. 

Never compare to what people post on social media.

Most of them will be battling some sh1t too.

Do your best, that's all.

Have a good un all and be healthy, both physically  and mentally 👍🏾

[Trav Le Bleu]

As Baz Luhrman said, "Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly."

[urban.spaceman]

Hey everyone, update from me as I've not posted in here for a few months since I started my course (Script Writing at Goldsmiths).

 

I'm doing well. The course is going really well and everyone on it is (mostly) lovely. It's like it's set up just for me; we've got a main module to develop a feature script and a short script module, both of our own ideas. The short module has already finished, we had a table read with professional actors just before Christmas that was incredibly gratifying. The actors were laughing in all the right places as they went through the script to find their next lines, and afterwards gave glowing reviews and very useful advice (annoyingly I have to shave 2 pages off by the 12th, terrifying). The feature module is developing nicely, the final deadline isn't till August so we should be starting the actual script by the time we break up in March/April, with a couple of other modules and extra curricular stuff to do in that time. 

 

It's not been plain sailing, I've been commuting down twice a week and staying over in dodgy accommodation which has really taken it out of me (currently quite literally penniless lol) but my loan comes in next week and the next couple of months shouldn't be as expensive hopefully. Joining a petsitting app which should hopefully pay a bit. Mental health has been improving overall, though December was tough thanks to finances and the anniversary of a close friend's death - I've never been able to deal well with grief. But I've rediscovered my social side quite quickly and have made some really wonderful friends on the course. I'm getting there, at my own pace.

 

Perhaps most importantly I've managed to quell the drinking really well. Our relegation led to a night of drinking that left me 'drunk' for 2 days straight afterwards. But what really affected me was one night a few weeks later my dad fell down the ****ing stairs in the middle of the night, while I was passed out drunk on the sofa. I didn't hear anything. He was fine, apart from a bruised face, shoulder and ego plus a busted lip, but what really upset me was that I didn't hear anything and didn't find out until the next morning. He's fully recovered and is OK, but it led to me worrying about his mortality and mine, about what I was doing with my life and all that, and is one of the reasons I decided to do my course. I've given up the drinking binges and only drink now for social reasons. (Kinda helps that my mate supplies me with edibles haha). But that was unfathomable for quite a while and I'm so relieved to be fixing that part of me.

 

Overall, I couldn't be more relieved that I'm doing this. It's both right up my street and it feels like it's the start of something. The university actually ****ing supports you in getting a career during the course and up to 3 years afterwards too, which was absolutely non-existent in my last Uni experience in the 00s. So I'll be pursuing their help in the next few weeks to get me on the ladder and hopefully some paid work in the industry soon.

 

I'm so excited for the next year. This isn't any 'new year new me' bollocks, this really feels, for the first time in over a decade, that positive things are right around the corner and I am tactically changing my life for the better. 2024 is going to be mother****ing epic, and I cannot ****ing wait for it.

 

So Happy New Year everyone, I hope you're all well and have had a peaceful Christmastime. I truly hope it brings us all good mental health and happiness.

[urban.spaceman]

LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR

[filthyfox]

On 06/12/2023 at 20:04, HighPeakFox said:

I'm functioning but I know I'm dealing with a lot alongside my own personal patterns - both my parents seem to have very much begun the end of their lives, if that makes sense, and I am beginning to grieve them both before their minds go - I never thought I'd care about it but I find their slow demise very difficult.

I love you man. Xxx

[MPH]

7 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Hey everyone, update from me as I've not posted in here for a few months since I started my course (Script Writing at Goldsmiths).

 

I'm doing well. The course is going really well and everyone on it is (mostly) lovely. It's like it's set up just for me; we've got a main module to develop a feature script and a short script module, both of our own ideas. The short module has already finished, we had a table read with professional actors just before Christmas that was incredibly gratifying. The actors were laughing in all the right places as they went through the script to find their next lines, and afterwards gave glowing reviews and very useful advice (annoyingly I have to shave 2 pages off by the 12th, terrifying). The feature module is developing nicely, the final deadline isn't till August so we should be starting the actual script by the time we break up in March/April, with a couple of other modules and extra curricular stuff to do in that time. 

 

It's not been plain sailing, I've been commuting down twice a week and staying over in dodgy accommodation which has really taken it out of me (currently quite literally penniless lol) but my loan comes in next week and the next couple of months shouldn't be as expensive hopefully. Joining a petsitting app which should hopefully pay a bit. Mental health has been improving overall, though December was tough thanks to finances and the anniversary of a close friend's death - I've never been able to deal well with grief. But I've rediscovered my social side quite quickly and have made some really wonderful friends on the course. I'm getting there, at my own pace.

 

Perhaps most importantly I've managed to quell the drinking really well. Our relegation led to a night of drinking that left me 'drunk' for 2 days straight afterwards. But what really affected me was one night a few weeks later my dad fell down the ****ing stairs in the middle of the night, while I was passed out drunk on the sofa. I didn't hear anything. He was fine, apart from a bruised face, shoulder and ego plus a busted lip, but what really upset me was that I didn't hear anything and didn't find out until the next morning. He's fully recovered and is OK, but it led to me worrying about his mortality and mine, about what I was doing with my life and all that, and is one of the reasons I decided to do my course. I've given up the drinking binges and only drink now for social reasons. (Kinda helps that my mate supplies me with edibles haha). But that was unfathomable for quite a while and I'm so relieved to be fixing that part of me.

 

Overall, I couldn't be more relieved that I'm doing this. It's both right up my street and it feels like it's the start of something. The university actually ****ing supports you in getting a career during the course and up to 3 years afterwards too, which was absolutely non-existent in my last Uni experience in the 00s. So I'll be pursuing their help in the next few weeks to get me on the ladder and hopefully some paid work in the industry soon.

 

I'm so excited for the next year. This isn't any 'new year new me' bollocks, this really feels, for the first time in over a decade, that positive things are right around the corner and I am tactically changing my life for the better. 2024 is going to be mother****ing epic, and I cannot ****ing wait for it.

 

So Happy New Year everyone, I hope you're all well and have had a peaceful Christmastime. I truly hope it brings us all good mental health and happiness.

 

so beautiful to hear ! 

[MPH]

So this thread was started back in 2016 by a guy called @Pinkman. I doubt he still lurks around these parts, but if you see this, fella it would be great to get an update with how you are doing these days!

[foxfanazer]

Proud of everyone in here battling their own demons and still soldiering on

[Tommy G]

On 24/12/2023 at 18:59, Parafox said:

 

 

For a number of reasons, not least the MH of our eldest adopted daughter which has caused severe issues and conflicts over the years, I have come to be very stressed and anxious as Christmas approaches. I once quipped that the police have spent more Christmas days with us than with their own families because we have had to call them on many occasions over Christmas due to her erratic and often violent actions, including against herself.

 

Last year and again this year the relationship is at such a low that we didn't, and won't again, see her over Christmas. We feel sad that this is the case and that she's alone, but it's the safest for us. The situation really gets us down and causes tension.

 

Interesting to read @SpacedX post with regard to him being adopted and the relationship with his parents. We have often wondered about attachments with adopters and adoptees. 

 

She's now 31 and over the years it has become clear that she has attachment issues and increasing signs of mental ill health and depression and has been sectioned 3 times, twice in secure MH units. The crisis usually being around Christmas and the birthdays of her own two children who both were adopted when they were infants. So her MH understandably declines significantly at this time but the knock on effect makes Christmas one of the most difficult occasions of the year for us.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that if you dislike Christmas it can be for a variety of reasons and there's no need to feel you should fake it and pretend it's a jolly time.

 

Of course people who don't enjoy Christmas will feel pressured into going along with it. I have learnt to accept that I can get very down and grumpy at Christmas and, over time, Mrs P has come to understand and no longer gets on my case to "join in".

 

Anyway. I hope it's the best festive period it can be for all you good, kind, frivolous, clever, whimsical, witty, insightful argumentative (on the matchday thread) FT peeps 

 

 

 

 

Hats off to you