Depression

[Xen]

Start my new job on the 30th. Can't wait, the fresh start is much needed.

 

However. Wanting to end on a good note at the current place. Had a project (mostly solo work) which has been rumbling on for quite a while with very little progress, partly due to the issues that bring me to this thread (and partly the cause of such issues...). Got a handover meeting for it tomorrow to present its current stage, so I've had all week to work on it to get it to a relatively presentable state (not working miracles or anything). But even when I'm feeling motivated, I just can't seem to bring myself to do anything about it. I'll stare at it for 5 minutes and it all feels utterly hopeless (the project/work, not things in general).

 

Dreading this meeting tomorrow. But just gotta get through to next Friday and then I can completely forget about this place

[Wymsey]

 

 

[TJQuik]

I apologise to anyone on here for being argumentative recently but following the news closely has affected my mental health more negatively than anything has in a while. It's seriously affected my sleep and I've seen images that will haunt me forever.

 

I'm going to take a break from the internet for a while and in future I won't look to this site to discuss anything political, football is providing a very welcome distraction at the moment.

[Trav Le Bleu]

51 minutes ago, TJQuik said:

I apologise to anyone on here for being argumentative recently but following the news closely has affected my mental health more negatively than anything has in a while. It's seriously affected my sleep and I've seen images that will haunt me forever.

 

I'm going to take a break from the internet for a while and in future I won't look to this site to discuss anything political, football is providing a very welcome distraction at the moment.

Do what you got to do to get better mate (so long as it doesn't involve drinking the blood of virgin on a full moon, et al )

 

I've had problems recently and I thought I'd share what has helped me.

 

Pretty much my stress, depression and panic attacks are a result of my work, which I go into every day expecting something to go wrong. Not because of any pessimism, it actually does, it's a travesty (sic) what RM have become.

 

So one of my first things was to tell my line manager and he has to his credit been very good in giving me the time to do the job at a pace I can cope with and lighten my workload (it'll only get worse as Christmas gets nearer)

 

I've also been to the doctor's and started on medication. I really didn't want to, I thought of it as admitting defeat, but it has helped, eventually, as it took some time to get the dosage right.

 

I have dramatically reduced my watching of TV, especially the news. Now I pretty much only watch comedy and sport. I've replaced TV with reading, which I have been doing mostly outside in the garden, occasionally stopping to watch the birds on our bird feeder.

 

I hope this helps some of you. I don't expect it will for everyone... We're all different (which is a very important concept to accept).

 

Lastly, I think City winning more often than not, I think, has helped! 

 

 

 

[Tommy G]

On 04/11/2023 at 22:06, Wymsey said:

 

 

I think the “man up” phrase is dead and buried, certainly in my circles - unless you have been living under a rock for the past 10 years you will know saying stuff like this is just blind stupid. You don’t have to have suffered from problems yourself to have empathy towards those that have.

[HighPeakFox]

7 hours ago, TJQuik said:

I apologise to anyone on here for being argumentative recently but following the news closely has affected my mental health more negatively than anything has in a while. It's seriously affected my sleep and I've seen images that will haunt me forever.

 

I'm going to take a break from the internet for a while and in future I won't look to this site to discuss anything political, football is providing a very welcome distraction at the moment.

Oddly, after Saturday I'd been debating writing here, and what to say. 

 

I don't want to get into the specifics of what was said to me and I'm glad the relevant thread has been closed down. It took a lot of effort to be restrained, especially since I felt that the person addressing me was likely exhibiting their own version of what so many of us are trying to deal with. 

 

One of the issues that the more mentally challenged amongst us have is feeling safe and secure online, and not wanting to get cut off or isolated. I avoid the news as it is, and still I have friends on Facebook posting partially about Israel / Gaza in a way that claims maximum victimhood but leaving no safe way to respond. I feel that often happens here too, albeit with differing subject matters, and it can be that silence is the only safe answer. This, of course, presents its own difficulties. 

 

I admire you for your post, and it sped up my own self reflection. I try to learn from any episode on here, even if I feel wronged, and certainly when I have a core respect for the other party, who may (as alluded to before) or may not be having their own issues. 

 

None of us can expect to be treated differently because we use this thread - however, I do wish more people read it and had a think. 

[Raj]

I think this forum on the whole is brilliant.

We share thoughts, have a laugh some even meet up and have a sexual relationship...oh hang on wrong site.

 

BUT seriously  I'm as bad as others, if I've had a bad day or on a downer I can react like a pr1ck to a post which shouldn't warrant such a response.

I can look back and apologise and off we ho again.

 

Alot of talk about mens mental health so we shouldnt go out of our way to wind another poster up for bantz or just be nasty, I'd rather put people on ignore rather than react.

 

We should try and be more respectful, but if we do feck up, just apologise.

 

👍

[Fosse93]

Has anyone here ever been signed off from work for mental health issues?

 

I'm on the verge of booking an appointment with my GP. My workload this year has been insane and I think I've reached complete burnout.

 

Just wondered what the process was like for getting signed off, how did your work take it? I know it's not a healthy mindset but I'm concerned I will be leaving my colleagues in the mud, as without sounding arrogant - no one has my skillset in the team and I'm relied on for a lot of things.

[Bordersfox]

On 06/11/2023 at 19:40, HighPeakFox said:

Oddly, after Saturday I'd been debating writing here, and what to say. 

 

I don't want to get into the specifics of what was said to me and I'm glad the relevant thread has been closed down. It took a lot of effort to be restrained, especially since I felt that the person addressing me was likely exhibiting their own version of what so many of us are trying to deal with. 

 

One of the issues that the more mentally challenged amongst us have is feeling safe and secure online, and not wanting to get cut off or isolated. I avoid the news as it is, and still I have friends on Facebook posting partially about Israel / Gaza in a way that claims maximum victimhood but leaving no safe way to respond. I feel that often happens here too, albeit with differing subject matters, and it can be that silence is the only safe answer. This, of course, presents its own difficulties. 

 

I admire you for your post, and it sped up my own self reflection. I try to learn from any episode on here, even if I feel wronged, and certainly when I have a core respect for the other party, who may (as alluded to before) or may not be having their own issues. 

 

None of us can expect to be treated differently because we use this thread - however, I do wish more people read it and had a think. 

This is a really great post.  I know the other post to which you are referring and, to be honest, I was a bit taken aback when it was posted.

 

I slightly disagree with the 'none of us can expect to be treated differently because we use this thread'.  I think it's incumbent on all of us to respect people may be in a difficult place mentally and I have definitely taken that in consideration when replying (or not replying) to posts on the forum where I've seen that poster in this thread.  @Rajmakes another good point that at times it's better to simply ignore a poster than react to them. I'm always worried about being in an echo chamber.  But sometimes an echo chamber is the safe environment we need.   

 

When a poster was having a meltdown a while back Daggers suggested it was best that people just left things because things were not right in his world.  And I took that on board and ceased and desisted posting anything about what was happening.   

 

If people are brave enough to post on this thread then I don't see why the rest of us shouldn't at least try and take that into consideration.  

 

On the flip side though, I do think if people are having struggles it's always worth thinking twice before posting on controversial topics or on things that might trigger them. I have had a tough couple of months, nothing remotely serious in the grand scheme, but at times I just know it's not worth getting embroiled in debates on here as it won't lead to anything positive mentally.  

[Lionator]

11 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Has anyone here ever been signed off from work for mental health issues?

 

I'm on the verge of booking an appointment with my GP. My workload this year has been insane and I think I've reached complete burnout.

 

Just wondered what the process was like for getting signed off, how did your work take it? I know it's not a healthy mindset but I'm concerned I will be leaving my colleagues in the mud, as without sounding arrogant - no one has my skillset in the team and I'm relied on for a lot of things.

Is there not an option to go through work/HR to get that workload reduced? We are only human at the end of the day and a lot of the time managers take people like you for granted and would accommodate you if they knew how you were feeling (if they’re worth their salt anyway). A lot of the time they simply don’t realise.

 

Anyway if you do choose to get signed off then there’s no shame, it’s what the option is there for! Good luck and please keep sharing on here if you can, that’s what we’re here for! 

[Raj]

11 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Has anyone here ever been signed off from work for mental health issues?

 

I'm on the verge of booking an appointment with my GP. My workload this year has been insane and I think I've reached complete burnout.

 

Just wondered what the process was like for getting signed off, how did your work take it? I know it's not a healthy mindset but I'm concerned I will be leaving my colleagues in the mud, as without sounding arrogant - no one has my skillset in the team and I'm relied on for a lot of things.

I had to goto occupational health via HR as I was having a really tough time and taking it out on my workmates/manager who couldnt cope anymore.

There is NO shame at all and although its grand that you are thinking of your coworker your company need to have your back and get protocols into place to help you deal with things.

 

Take time out and reset👍

[HighPeakFox]

1 hour ago, Bordersfox said:

This is a really great post.  I know the other post to which you are referring and, to be honest, I was a bit taken aback when it was posted.

 

I slightly disagree with the 'none of us can expect to be treated differently because we use this thread'.  I think it's incumbent on all of us to respect people may be in a difficult place mentally and I have definitely taken that in consideration when replying (or not replying) to posts on the forum where I've seen that poster in this thread.  @Rajmakes another good point that at times it's better to simply ignore a poster than react to them. I'm always worried about being in an echo chamber.  But sometimes an echo chamber is the safe environment we need.   

 

When a poster was having a meltdown a while back Daggers suggested it was best that people just left things because things were not right in his world.  And I took that on board and ceased and desisted posting anything about what was happening.   

 

If people are brave enough to post on this thread then I don't see why the rest of us shouldn't at least try and take that into consideration.  

 

On the flip side though, I do think if people are having struggles it's always worth thinking twice before posting on controversial topics or on things that might trigger them. I have had a tough couple of months, nothing remotely serious in the grand scheme, but at times I just know it's not worth getting embroiled in debates on here as it won't lead to anything positive mentally.  

Thank you.

 

I think, to clarify, I cannot expect someone who doesn't read this thread, or has no base understanding of mental health issues to treat me any differently. I am still shocked at what was said to me, but am just trying to leave it with him in my own mind.

[bovril]

On 06/11/2023 at 11:58, TJQuik said:

I apologise to anyone on here for being argumentative recently but following the news closely has affected my mental health more negatively than anything has in a while. It's seriously affected my sleep and I've seen images that will haunt me forever.

 

I'm going to take a break from the internet for a while and in future I won't look to this site to discuss anything political, football is providing a very welcome distraction at the moment.

Same here.

 

Closed a few of my social media accounts. Using mostly Flickr at the moment as I love both doing photography and looking at other people's photos. It's calming.

 

The rolling news online is extremely unhelpful. People were not meant to carry round a little device in their pocket that beams horror after horror into their lives 24/7.

 

Very disturbed by things recently and I'm not surprised other people feel the same way. 

Edited 7 November 2023 by bovril

[Wymsey]

You don't have to look depressed to be suffering with depression.

 

Am quite convinced that many people fail to understand this just by looking at someone.

[Daggers]

I’ve said it multiple times - if you’re struggling, shut down your browser, close your apps. Social media is not your friend, online arguments are not good for your mental well-being.

 

Stroke a puppy. Put on a record. Watch a comedy show. Go for a walk…turn off your ****ing phone.

[Jon the Hat]

32 minutes ago, Daggers said:

I’ve said it multiple times - if you’re struggling, shut down your browser, close your apps. Social media is not your friend, online arguments are not good for your mental well-being.

 

Stroke a puppy. Put on a record. Watch a comedy show. Go for a walk…turn off your ****ing phone.

Yes indeed.  Do ask the puppy's owner first though.  

[fox_favourite]

I've been struggling for a while. Like someone else said, I go into work always expecting the worse. Sleep is an issue and I have been given sleeping tablets from the doctor, but I don't want to rely on them. I've always suffered from anxiety, but it seems so much worse this time. It's not just episodes, it's day after day. Work is stressful, life in general seems to be. Money, sorting the kids with school runs, clubs, homework etc...life seems never ending and non relaxing. The news is relentless. I actually deleted all my social media as I couldn't stand it anymore. 

 

I don't know if it's me, but expectations from work has gone through the roof with even little things. Honestly, my mental health seems to have taken a battering since COVID times. I took a week off work to see if that helped. It did in that week, but it's just back again, though don't want to be signed off as I worry it'll be seen negatively on me as a line manager. 

 

I've tried therapy through NHS and privately, but it never really helps long term. The NHS come across as so over stretched, I feel guilty using it and they take ages to get sorted. 

 

This forum is great for me. Some of the posts are informative, some our funny and some actually give an education to random stuff and football. I love reading different opinions on anything.

 

It's good that we're getting good results but football is a release for me. My escape. But outside, just seems a never ending battle and I'm not sure I'm built to cope, also not sure being signed off will help or not. 

 

That's a long post! I've been awake since 3am, so that might be the reason. 😄

Edited 8 November 2023 by fox_favourite

[Raj]

People struggling , just keep trying to get help and talk to people.

Talking and getting things out of your system is vitally important.

None of this sh1t is easy to deal with so don't think you can just switch a switch and its sorted.

 

At the end of the day only you can help improve the issues you are having no one else.

 

 

[Bellend Sebastian]

There's something out of the ordinary going on at the minute.

 

I've never known a time when so many people are stressed, angry, depressed, ill, intolerant, having relationship problems, friendship breakdowns etc etc.

 

I'm sure there are a lot of factors at play but I cannot help but think it's some sort of hangover from the pandemic, which undoubtedly made a lot of that stuff in the list above worse. Although the pandemic has gone (sort of) it's left its fingerprint in that all those things that it exacerbated haven't recovered to how they were before.

 

Add in the cost of living crisis, the weirdest, most vindictive government I can recall, grimmest world events we've had in a long time and public discourse dragging itself ever deeper into a toxic mire and it's no wonder so many folk feel like shite, it seems like everyone's resilience is being chipped away from all directions.

 

I almost feel guilty feeling a bit less insane and anxious these days and being slightly more at ease and on top of the stuff that used to weigh me down. I suppose being marginally less self absorbed is making me look outwards and tuning in a bit more to what's going on with other folk. I want to do something positive for people but Christ, everyone's dealing with so much I don't really know where to start, and of course you have to be careful not to interfere in other folks' business and remember that however good your intentions are, we can rarely actually fix stuff for others.

 

It feels a bit trite to say but look after yourselves and each other

 

 

[LiberalFox]

On 06/11/2023 at 19:40, HighPeakFox said:

Oddly, after Saturday I'd been debating writing here, and what to say. 

 

I don't want to get into the specifics of what was said to me and I'm glad the relevant thread has been closed down. It took a lot of effort to be restrained, especially since I felt that the person addressing me was likely exhibiting their own version of what so many of us are trying to deal with. 

 

One of the issues that the more mentally challenged amongst us have is feeling safe and secure online, and not wanting to get cut off or isolated. I avoid the news as it is, and still I have friends on Facebook posting partially about Israel / Gaza in a way that claims maximum victimhood but leaving no safe way to respond. I feel that often happens here too, albeit with differing subject matters, and it can be that silence is the only safe answer. This, of course, presents its own difficulties. 

 

I admire you for your post, and it sped up my own self reflection. I try to learn from any episode on here, even if I feel wronged, and certainly when I have a core respect for the other party, who may (as alluded to before) or may not be having their own issues. 

 

None of us can expect to be treated differently because we use this thread - however, I do wish more people read it and had a think. 

If it was the thread about moderation then don't take it personally. It says nothing about you but a lot about them. People tell on themselves. Well done for not reacting. 

[Zear0]

On 07/11/2023 at 09:18, Fosse93 said:

Has anyone here ever been signed off from work for mental health issues?

 

I'm on the verge of booking an appointment with my GP. My workload this year has been insane and I think I've reached complete burnout.

 

Just wondered what the process was like for getting signed off, how did your work take it? I know it's not a healthy mindset but I'm concerned I will be leaving my colleagues in the mud, as without sounding arrogant - no one has my skillset in the team and I'm relied on for a lot of things.

When I was young and cared more about my career than was healthy I practically worked myself to a breakdown which doesn't sound too dissimilar to yourself.  I went down the GP route as, rightly or wrongly, I didn't want to have the conversation with co-workers or my manager at the time for the unfounded fear of how I'd be perceived.  GP was great and they can be quite understanding of professional pressures on how the fit for work note is presented if you have any specific concerns.  Go speak to the GP if you think a break would do you good.  I started with a few weeks but ended up having three months off in total as it took that long to get back on my feet.  For me being signed off put me in the mindset that I needed to get myself on the mend and it helped me be more proactive in doing things that helped my wellbeing (it also conicided with the GTA5 release but that was pure, but happy coincidence).

 

All the best.

Edited 9 November 2023 by Zear0

[Trav Le Bleu]

On 19/10/2023 at 12:02, Xen said:

Start my new job on the 30th. Can't wait, the fresh start is much needed.

 

However. Wanting to end on a good note at the current place. Had a project (mostly solo work) which has been rumbling on for quite a while with very little progress, partly due to the issues that bring me to this thread (and partly the cause of such issues...). Got a handover meeting for it tomorrow to present its current stage, so I've had all week to work on it to get it to a relatively presentable state (not working miracles or anything). But even when I'm feeling motivated, I just can't seem to bring myself to do anything about it. I'll stare at it for 5 minutes and it all feels utterly hopeless (the project/work, not things in general).

 

Dreading this meeting tomorrow. But just gotta get through to next Friday and then I can completely forget about this place

How's the new job going?

[Daggers]

Held an intervention this weekend for the lad who is experiencing MH troubles linked to constant use of weed over too long a period.

 

Went brilliantly, smiles and hugs all round, positive future mapped out with action steps. Six hours later he’s skinning up and going ballistic at me for looking at him disapprovingly.

 

I walked out of the house for space and not to aggravate things. And carried on walking. And walking. Over twenty miles later it’s 5:30am, I’m frozen to the core and still walking and crying. Eventually got a lift home, the police had been called as wife feared I was going to do something serious.

 

Not left the bed for two days. It’s resilience, my personal bottle of it is very low from day to day. I can cope with regular, predictable stuff - I can’t cope with major shit like this.

 

Everything is so bleak. Everything feels completely broken. I feel completely broken.

[jgtuk]

Please take time out and seek intervention. I can’t throw all the MH cliches at you, I know you’ll have heard them many times before but please come back here to vent and not be alone. Sending you all the best. 

[Xen]

On 10/11/2023 at 06:52, Trav Le Bleu said:

How's the new job going?

Thanks for asking.

So far, so good. I knew I needed to leave my old place, but coming here has made me realise just how much I needed that. Team is lovely, the work seems more engaging, I feel like there's a better work-life split and I'll be able to keep in control of my workload better. Genuinely felt a weight lift off my shoulders after my last handover meeting.

 

Still going through all the various bits of training and haven't got stuck into any actual work myself, yet, just shadowing really, but I'm a lot more optimistic of this going forwards. I've had more moments where I've felt happy/content in the last 2 weeks than I have in months prior to that.

 

Not 100% plain sailing and I still have plenty of stuff I need to figure out more generally, outside of work, but I feel like step one has got me going in the right direction again.