Depression

[HighPeakFox]

8 minutes ago, Lionator said:

Really struggling at the minute. Been watching too much news, I’ve found myself stocking up cans and tins in case of a conflict between ourselves and Russia. I can’t seem to switch my head off of it and thinking to myself there’s only one way to avoid it. I think I can talk myself out of doing anything stupid but it’s really hard not to get consumed. 

I deliberately avoid it. They want you to be frightened, it might make you vote stupidly. 

[BertFill]

4 hours ago, Lionator said:

Really struggling at the minute. Been watching too much news, I’ve found myself stocking up cans and tins in case of a conflict between ourselves and Russia. I can’t seem to switch my head off of it and thinking to myself there’s only one way to avoid it. I think I can talk myself out of doing anything stupid but it’s really hard not to get consumed.

This is definitely something to avoid. Do absolutely anything else; tbh you don't need news more than once a day if that  - unless something fast-moving is happening, but an endless churn of the same doom and gloom when things aren't actually changing is no good for anybody.

[Stinkenzo]

Thought the LCFC forum was bad after a few defeats on the spin, then I witnessed the reaction to winning a game despite not playing well

 

[Parafox]

On 24/02/2024 at 19:54, Parafox said:

 

It's been pretty bad over the last few months.

 

She has been becoming more psychotic and reclusive, convinced that neighbours are still getting into her flat even though she has had the locks changed.

 

She believes we have been complicit in messing with her mind, that we have been in contact with the MH team to try to get her sectioned (we haven't), that we have always lied to her about various bad things that have happened in her life, that we want her to be evicted, so we have been winding her up to the point of her wanting to stab someone and go to prison. That we want the Housing association to kill her cat, who is a companion pet, so that she has nothing left in her life...

 

Because she is paranoid about people getting into her flat, she has refused to allow the housing association access to do a gas safety check so they cut her gas off and she has had no heating or hot water for a month. She has an electric heater which scorched the carpet because she is unable to think logically or anticipate possibilities, and could've set fire to the place.

 

In the last few weeks we have received over 300 texts a day from her going over and over and repeating every accusation and verbal attack towards us.

 

We went over last week as she seemed reasonable and she asked us to help her with making her flat accessible and she'd then let the housing people in.

 

The amount of waste, kitchen waste, cat litter waste (bagged up, fortunately) food containers, (she won't go out to the shop so has been living off take-aways) was jaw dropping. Then there's her problem with what we call over-buying. She buys things daily from eBay, Amazon etc that get delivered to her flat, spending most of her benefits on stuff she doesn't need but that makes her feel better about herself when it arrives. There is a fairly large "utility" space/cupboard where her gas boiler is and where she keeps shoes and coats etc. About the size of a downstairs cloakroom. We opened the doo and it was LITERALLY full to the ceiling with cardboard packaging and polystyrene fillers.

 

It took us over an hour to clear all this away and the car was full of stuff after we had filled her household and recycling bins.

 

She thanked us and wanted us to stay and talk but she managed to manufacture an argument and became quite hostile so we had to leave.

 

It's just so difficult to see someone we care about in the depths of he MH and be unable to help even though we have tried through various avenues, GP. her MH team, the crisis team, the police when she's threatened to harm herself, none of whom could actually do anything unless she did something first.

 

Thanks for asking. We carry on and continue to do what we can, when we can and acknowledge her MH issues which, in a way, makes it bearable.

 

This is still unrelenting. At least 200-350 texts EVERY DAY for that last 3 weeks and still continuing as I post this, all with broadly the same content, accusing us of helping complete strangers (to us) and "friends" she's fallen out with over the years, to get access to her flat, to damage her stuff and mess with her mind.

 

We have absolutely nowhere to turn to stop this. The police don't consider the messages to be malicious or threatening, although they could cause alarm and/or distress but because we have had face to face contact with her recently, they don't think we're at that point and therefore there's no actual offence being committed under the Telecommunications Act where they could take action.

 

We just have to roll with it and not get too down about it and hope that something changes in her to get her back to somewhere that she can be more settled and less in daily strife and worry. It can't be nice for her, living with the constant belief that everyone is out to screw her up and ruin her life which ironically, she is doing for herself.

Edited 6 March by Parafox

[Parafox]

4 hours ago, Parafox said:

At least 200-350 texts EVERY DAY

At the time of posting, 5 mins to midnight, 527 unpleasant, accusatory texts so far today and still typing.

 

People say we should block her and yes, we've done that but, we need to know if she's done anything to harm herself or if there was to be a crisis and we know she'd tell us first. So we need to keep the avenue of communication open, as difficult as it is.

 

 Our lives are totally Groundhog Day but without the humour. It's real. And it's soul destroying and it's depressing. 

 

I don't know what it is that makes us so resilient but I can only think that it's acknowledging that she has MH issues and an overriding desire to be there for her.

 

Without us, she has no-one.

 

I know there's nothing any of you great peeps can do, but this is my venting place.

 

Thanks for reading.

Edited 7 March by Parafox

[Trav Le Bleu]

11 hours ago, Parafox said:

At the time of posting, 5 mins to midnight, 527 unpleasant, accusatory texts so far today and still typing.

 

People say we should block her and yes, we've done that but, we need to know if she's done anything to harm herself or if there was to be a crisis and we know she'd tell us first. So we need to keep the avenue of communication open, as difficult as it is.

 

 Our lives are totally Groundhog Day but without the humour. It's real. And it's soul destroying and it's depressing. 

 

I don't know what it is that makes us so resilient but I can only think that it's acknowledging that she has MH issues and an overriding desire to be there for her.

 

Without us, she has no-one.

 

I know there's nothing any of you great peeps can do, but this is my venting place.

 

Thanks for reading.

Maybe get a second phone for yourself that she doesn't know the number to for your every day calls and only check the other phone once or twice a day?

 

Well done for standing by her, especially as she isn't flesh and blood.

[MPH]

13 hours ago, Parafox said:

At the time of posting, 5 mins to midnight, 527 unpleasant, accusatory texts so far today and still typing.

 

People say we should block her and yes, we've done that but, we need to know if she's done anything to harm herself or if there was to be a crisis and we know she'd tell us first. So we need to keep the avenue of communication open, as difficult as it is.

 

 Our lives are totally Groundhog Day but without the humour. It's real. And it's soul destroying and it's depressing. 

 

I don't know what it is that makes us so resilient but I can only think that it's acknowledging that she has MH issues and an overriding desire to be there for her.

 

Without us, she has no-one.

 

I know there's nothing any of you great peeps can do, but this is my venting place.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

 

No one wants to turn their back on their child. It's very admirable of you and i think we all respect you for that.  Parents want to be their for their child. i totally understand.

 

Have you thought about some kind of middle ground? I don't know if you have a hobby.. somewhere you like to go.. something you like to do? My mum likes going to a scrabble club! you could say to your Daughter " We are going to xxxx place now and we are going to switch our phones off for 3 hrs.. we love you and we will see your messages when we get back." phrase it how you like of course but just that little peace and break from the cycle and somewhere else to focus your minds for a few hours might really help. It could also be a stepping stone to helping her break the cycle of sending the never ending texts. Sure to start with she might keep sending them but she'll soon realize you are not reading them during those times and it could alter her pattern.  Will she give you hell for switching your phones off for a few hrs? probably... but it sounds like she does that anyway.. And then doing it occasionally can become 2-3 times a week and the goal can always be to make it a daily thing where for a few hours a day you are unable to be reached.

[Mark 'expert' Lawrenson]

I’m off work due to stress and anxiety, I have a doctors sick note and now to compound my misery my employer has put me on SSP so I can’t afford to pay my bills, such a low ebb at the moment 

[Wymsey]

19 hours ago, Mark 'expert' Lawrenson said:

I’m off work due to stress and anxiety, I have a doctors sick note and now to compound my misery my employer has put me on SSP so I can’t afford to pay my bills, such a low ebb at the moment 

Am so sorry to hear that..

 

Understandably, you may feel like there's no way out of this - but there's a wide range of different organisations who can help support you on matters on bills etc., like Citizens Advice.

 

Fingers crossed things will work out for you at some point soon.

[Mark 'expert' Lawrenson]

44 minutes ago, Wymsey said:

Am so sorry to hear that..

 

Understandably, you may feel like there's no way out of this - but there's a wide range of different organisations who can help support you on matters on bills etc., like Citizens Advice.

 

Fingers crossed things will work out for you at some point soon.

Thank you, it’s tough at the moment but I’ll get through it 

[Trav Le Bleu]

On 13/03/2024 at 17:15, Mark 'expert' Lawrenson said:

I’m off work due to stress and anxiety, I have a doctors sick note and now to compound my misery my employer has put me on SSP so I can’t afford to pay my bills, such a low ebb at the moment 

Wymsey's advice is spot on. They'll help you with other support mechanisms that are out there.

 

Take care mate, I enjoy your contributions... Unlike the real Mark Lawrenson

 

[Mark 'expert' Lawrenson]

2 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Wymsey's advice is spot on. They'll help you with other support mechanisms that are out there.

 

Take care mate, I enjoy your contributions... Unlike the real Mark Lawrenson

 

Thank you that made me laugh 😆 

[StanSP]

Quite possibly gone through what feels like the worst week of my life. Out the other side and things are on the up but somewhat worried as to what 'damage' has been done psychologically that will hit me in future. Luckily have loads of support but wouldn't wish my experiences on anyone. 

 

If anyone on here has had their other half experience severe anxiety with post-partum psychotic symptoms, I'd love to chat about it... 

[MPH]

On 16/03/2024 at 17:44, StanSP said:

Quite possibly gone through what feels like the worst week of my life. Out the other side and things are on the up but somewhat worried as to what 'damage' has been done psychologically that will hit me in future. Luckily have loads of support but wouldn't wish my experiences on anyone. 

 

If anyone on here has had their other half experience severe anxiety with post-partum psychotic symptoms, I'd love to chat about it... 

 

I hope everyone is ok, chap! 

[Guest leatherhead32]

depresion  can, does and will get better or at very  least manageable   . don't be scared to see a counsellor and don't expect it to help straight away , i know from experience what i have just typed. everything's temporary someone told me years ago , so when all's going great enjoy it but be calm with it and on the flip side ride the bad times out , walk, read, have cat naps they are great and free of charge( my kinda thing free of charge )  im avin a blip at mo but sure it will pass from what's happened in past  so good time for me to post, if you feel friendless then they can be easy to make by just passing time of day whilst sussin out if you want to share your thoughts, if your young please don't do owt rash ditto if like me you're old as still loads to enjoy folk, if its work people making you low focus purely on what your job is and blank em whilst looking elsewhere, its heaven handing your notice in and working notice at such places ill tell yer, the world isn't nice but sadly that's just a few wronguns in charge , its up to us to be the better humans than them , sadly in my case with silly sarcasm which im trying to faze out now as it doesn't make me happy so be better than me and that.  just walk on focus on good stuff as there loads around. my typing finger hurts now so youl be glad to know thats post over. take care lasses n lads.       

[Bob Weasel Fox]

I'm not sure why but I'm getting really angry at the slightest thing currently (I'm actually soft as shite in reality) and I think it's definitely linked in some way to my depression and anxiety which has been on and off for several years now.

 

i do find helping others much better for my soul than trying to help myself 

[HighPeakFox]

Just now, Bob Weasel Fox said:

I'm not sure why but I'm getting really angry at the slightest thing currently (I'm actually soft as shite in reality) and I think it's definitely linked in some way to my depression and anxiety which has been on and off for several years now.

 

i do find helping others much better for my soul than trying to help myself 

It is very easy for this to happen when matters outside your control concern you. And very difficult to recognise in the moment. 

[Parafox]

I hope it's ok to post an email I had from my daughter a while back that I've just re-discovered. It might give an insight into her MH and maybe others can relate to. Readers and posters on this topic will know I've posted before regarding my daughter

 

It's sensitive but quite revealing about bi-polar and the mood swings with and without meds.

 

The punctuation and spelling aren't great but it's a stream of consciousness written describing what, at the time. she was feeling and thinking:

 

i want to explain as i struggle so much to tell people the reality of my life . And i know u dont understand me . Right now my moods so angry i keep being not nice to (name removed) half of my brain tells me to be nice and to stop but i just cant theirs no stop button , last 2 -3 days ive switched from feeling low to being very angry, am eating slight bits but not enough i know , i feel like blitzing money which i have done this week , im angry irritated dont feel the need to sleep as much i feel uncontrolable being either nasty or shouting and abusing people i just cant stop i was up the other day for 24 hours i didnt feel the need to sleep i was up last night another 3 times i now again dont feel like sleeping ive tried to eat but i still dont feel the need . last few weeks ive gone from suicidal down wanting to harm myself which u know i have . i also no0w feel like i want to sleep around . its like in my head at times its my world . part of me says charlottes just trying to be me . that shes attension seeking the other part of me is saying part of me saying just support her i send messages of support not long follwed by messages that arent supportive . my angry mood is coming out on everyone . . i just cant stop . i sit here wrighting this angry  i know im snapping at anybody and everybody . . i dont feel the need to sleep proboly another night like the night befiore atleast the mitazipine sent me to sleep . when i felt low i just wanted to be alone i cried i self harmed  i rewally felt why i canmt live with this head i cant live a normal life my moods change and can last for weeks i can just never stay stable no matter how hard i try, my highs tell me im getting their im ready for work fulltime but sometimes my constentration just isnt their i feel that good that i sometimes feel others arent as pretty as me as if im better than everyone i take the piss at these times to i look in the mirror and see a diffrent person take pictures and feel overly confident about my apprenace, on a low i obsesse about features of myself think im fat and ugly compare my self to people hu on a high i feel im better than. on a high i walk down thje street with say (name removed) and (name removed) and think yep their ugly they aint got shit on me and also on a low i then compare myself to the same people  and think their then better than me i look in the mirror and see diffrent people i  have so much confidence on a high i literaally can and do acheive alot on a low i cant seem to acheive anything o much confidence on a low i have no confidence on a low i feel i cant acheive anything i acheived when i was ona high  i can get very frustated by my moods changing.  on a high i can do so much i keep the flat so clean can do anything feels so diffrent to a low were iev feel simple tasks like hygeine a real struggle and can be very neglectful of myself and my home . no matter how hard i try my moods effect alot of things i always wish to be normal i see others my age working having familys getting married getting engaged i struggle with all relationships i really struggle to deal with them. on a high i can and do get myself into trouble i do things that i know i shouldnt do and are also degrading to myself but dont think about the consequences they dont even enter my head . towards the ends of a high i can get very tired and feel as i havent stopped which i think is proboly the case i feel the need for little sleep and am on the go my mind races from thought to thought and i also become obessed . on a high i dont seem to see danger (name removed) used to say i would thrive ion dangerous situations when im high . on a high my life gets better im so hopeful about life i push myself but struggle to meet everything ive done and stryuggle to carry on with what i was doing when i was on a high on a high i can feel very sexually active were on a low i wont feel the need atall . . my life can never stay stable no matter what . my pregancy with (name removed) i thought on more than one occasion that i didnt want to live thankfully i didnt do what i had planned but the same suicidal thought were their i cant rember if i ever self harmed when i  was pregnaunt  with  (name removed) shortly after i becaame withdrawn from (name removed) i fekt irritable i began self harming and drinking i went down hill pretty fast. after(name removed) preganancy i felt alot more stable it was so diffrent to (name removed) after giving birth to evie i felt very high after an hour if not less i had had a shower put my make-up on attended to (name removed) and was folding clothes very motherly ! so it seemed id tpook well to motherhood this time i stayed high for a few more weeks i can remember (name removed) saying calm down you have just had a baby i seeked help from my counciller before (name removed) was 3 months old i can remember drinking abit with (name removed) when the kids were asleep i started to smoke weed again i was also sleeping around with men again . i thene moved to xxxx where things drastically went down hill again i started drinking not alot at the start i felt so down and alone i then went on to royally **** things up i had brief okay days mostly bad from what i remember i was self harming again i was not coping i did however report not feeling great to social no help was offered i continued  to go down hill i watched as my life went from bad to worse 

 

 

And that there, is a person spilling her feelings, her struggles, her moods and how her MH had taken over most of her daily life, her relationships, her fear in admitting and recognising her struggles but feeling unable to do anything because her MH is the driving force for everything she thinks and feels and does. 

 

The telling thing, among other issues is in her last sentence. "no help was offered".

 

Edited 19 March by Parafox

[MPH]

3 minutes ago, Parafox said:

I hope it's ok to post an email I had from my daughter a while back that I've just re-discovered. It might give an insight into her MH and maybe others can relate to. Readers and posters on this topic will know I've posted before regarding my daughter

 

It's sensitive but quite revealing about bi-polar and the mood swings with and without meds.

 

The punctuation and spelling aren't great but it's a stream of consciousness written describing what, at the time. she was feeling and thinking:

 

i want to explain as i struggle so much to tell people the reality of my life . And i know u dont understand me . Right now my moods so angry i keep being not nice to (name removed) half of my brain tells me to be nice and to stop but i just cant theirs no stop button , last 2 -3 days ive switched from feeling low to being very angry, am eating slight bits but not enough i know , i feel like blitzing money which i have done this week , im angry irritated dont feel the need to sleep as much i feel uncontrolable being either nasty or shouting and abusing people i just cant stop i was up the other day for 24 hours i didnt feel the need to sleep i was up last night another 3 times i now again dont feel like sleeping ive tried to eat but i still dont feel the need . last few weeks ive gone from suicidal down wanting to harm myself which u know i have . i also no0w feel like i want to sleep around . its like in my head at times its my world . part of me says charlottes just trying to be me . that shes attension seeking the other part of me is saying part of me saying just support her i send messages of support not long follwed by messages that arent supportive . my angry mood is coming out on everyone . . i just cant stop . i sit here wrighting this angry  i know im snapping at anybody and everybody . . i dont feel the need to sleep proboly another night like the night befiore atleast the mitazipine sent me to sleep . when i felt low i just wanted to be alone i cried i self harmed  i rewally felt why i canmt live with this head i cant live a normal life my moods change and can last for weeks i can just never stay stable no matter how hard i try, my highs tell me im getting their im ready for work fulltime but sometimes my constentration just isnt their i feel that good that i sometimes feel others arent as pretty as me as if im better than everyone i take the piss at these times to i look in the mirror and see a diffrent person take pictures and feel overly confident about my apprenace, on a low i obsesse about features of myself think im fat and ugly compare my self to people hu on a high i feel im better than. on a high i walk down thje street with say (name removed) and (name removed) and think yep their ugly they aint got shit on me and also on a low i then compare myself to the same people  and think their then better than me i look in the mirror and see diffrent people i  have so much confidence on a high i literaally can and do acheive alot on a low i cant seem to acheive anything o much confidence on a low i have no confidence on a low i feel i cant acheive anything i acheived when i was ona high  i can get very frustated by my moods changing.  on a high i can do so much i keep the flat so clean can do anything feels so diffrent to a low were iev feel simple tasks like hygeine a real struggle and can be very neglectful of myself and my home . no matter how hard i try my moods effect alot of things i always wish to be normal i see others my age working having familys getting married getting engaged i struggle with all relationships i really struggle to deal with them. on a high i can and do get myself into trouble i do things that i know i shouldnt do and are also degrading to myself but dont think about the consequences they dont even enter my head . towards the ends of a high i can get very tired and feel as i havent stopped which i think is proboly the case i feel the need for little sleep and am on the go my mind races from thought to thought and i also become obessed . on a high i dont seem to see danger (name removed) used to say i would thrive ion dangerous situations when im high . on a high my life gets better im so hopeful about life i push myself but struggle to meet everything ive done and stryuggle to carry on with what i was doing when i was on a high on a high i can feel very sexually active were on a low i wont feel the need atall . . my life can never stay stable no matter what . my pregancy with (name removed) i thought on more than one occasion that i didnt want to live thankfully i didnt do what i had planned but the same suicidal thought were their i cant rember if i ever self harmed when i  was pregnaunt  with  (name removed) shortly after i becaame withdrawn from (name removed) i fekt irritable i began self harming and drinking i went down hill pretty fast. after(name removed) preganancy i felt alot more stable it was so diffrent to (name removed) after giving birth to evie i felt very high after an hour if not less i had had a shower put my make-up on attended to (name removed) and was folding clothes very motherly ! so it seemed id tpook well to motherhood this time i stayed high for a few more weeks i can remember (name removed) saying calm down you have just had a baby i seeked help from my counciller before (name removed) was 3 months old i can remember drinking abit with (name removed) when the kids were asleep i started to smoke weed again i was also sleeping around with men again . i thene moved to xxxx where things drastically went down hill again i started drinking not alot at the start i felt so down and alone i then went on to royally **** things up i had brief okay days mostly bad from what i remember i was self harming again i was not coping i did however report not feeling great to social no help was offered i continued  to go down hill i watched as my life went from bad to worse 

 

 

And there is a person spilling her feelings, her struggles, her moods and her how her MH had and still does, taken over most of her daily life, relationships, her fear in admitting and recognising her struggles but being unable to do anything.

 

The telling thing, among other issues is in her last sentence. "no help was offered".

 

 

that’s just heartbreaking to read.

 

one of my biggest frustrations in life is that I can’t help the people who id like to help 

[Wymsey]

That's very heart-breaking..

 

If it's acceptable to ask - what do you think the future holds, both as a family and for her?

 

Would she be able to work / seek employment (if she's not already), given when she's in the right frame of mind to live a 'normal' life and something to put her mind to?

[Parafox]

26 minutes ago, Wymsey said:

That's very heart-breaking..

 

If it's acceptable to ask - what do you think the future holds, both as a family and for her?

 

Would she be able to work / seek employment (if she's not already), given when she's in the right frame of mind to live a 'normal' life and something to put her mind to?

 

She is very unlikely to work and, as a family, we just don't know what the future holds. We just take each day as it comes and hope for some stability and some security in her thinking. 

 

 

[Trav Le Bleu]

On 18/03/2024 at 19:46, Bob Weasel Fox said:

I'm not sure why but I'm getting really angry at the slightest thing currently (I'm actually soft as shite in reality) and I think it's definitely linked in some way to my depression and anxiety which has been on and off for several years now.

 

i do find helping others much better for my soul than trying to help myself 

If more people realised this then the less depression there would be.

 

If everyone was nice to you and you were nice to everyone (and I mean you impersonal/plural here, something English dearly lacks, but used to have (thee/thou)), that is far nicer than you could ever be to yourself.

 

Look after yourself Mr Weasel Fox!

Edited 19 March by Trav Le Bleu

[MPH]

On 18/03/2024 at 15:46, Bob Weasel Fox said:

I'm not sure why but I'm getting really angry at the slightest thing currently (I'm actually soft as shite in reality) and I think it's definitely linked in some way to my depression and anxiety which has been on and off for several years now.

 

i do find helping others much better for my soul than trying to help myself 

 

I will just  add a little something to this if I may be so bold…

 

 

when you get on an airplane, at the beginning of the flight they always go through the safety instructions. During part of it, they talk about how if the pressure  drops, some masks will drop down in front of you. They often say that if you are with children, make sure that you put the mask on yourself before you try and put one  on a child. Why do they say that? It’s because you’ll be absolutely no good to help anyone if you  are  passed out in your seat.  
 

 

 

So, absolutely be motivated to help people. It’s very rewarding.  It’s what I have done most of my life, but the best way to help the most amount of people is to look after yourself a little bit first too..

[Bob Weasel Fox]

12 hours ago, MPH said:

 

that’s just heartbreaking to read.

 

one of my biggest frustrations in life is that I can’t help the people who id like to help 

Totally agree bud

[LiberalFox]

Culture war stuff seems everywhere and just makes me feel increasingly misanthropic. I'm getting banned from topics simply for stating my feelings which makes me feel victimised. In turn it makes me just feel like I don't give a shit about people who I don't know unless they've shown they actually have empathy. I'd probably get banned if I named names (if this doesn't get removed) but there's a number of long term posters who I've basically completely lost respect for. Coupled with my general feelings towards football I wonder what the point of being here is. Does anyone feel that way too? I'm trying to work out if I'm just no longer in any way culturally aligned with this place or if other people feel the same way.