People/Things you changed your mind about

[Alf Bentley]

1 minute ago, Webbo said:

There are 1000s of members, why single me out?

 

As I said, your name happened to pop up posting in this thread just when I'd gone to it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have singled you out.

 

I suppose that I was curious as I have a few debates with you and get the impression that you're probably a chap who doesn't change his mind much. I was curious as to what you might have changed your mind about, if anything.

Btw. I don't mean anything offensive by that. Most of my opinions about people and things remain the same, as they do for most people beyond their early 20s, I suspect. A few views change.

 

Anyway, it was intended as a friendly, playful comment - not some hostile "singling out", if that's what you think. I know we're all (largely) strangers on the Internet, but it's good to get to understand fellow posters a bit better. 

[ozleicester]

 

[Trav Le Bleu]

55 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

What people/things have you changed your mind about, @Webbo?

 

 

 

Finding out that Webster was his first name...

 

[Webbo]

4 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

As I said, your name happened to pop up posting in this thread just when I'd gone to it. Otherwise, I wouldn't have singled you out.

 

I suppose that I was curious as I have a few debates with you and get the impression that you're probably a chap who doesn't change his mind much. I was curious as to what you might have changed your mind about, if anything.

Btw. I don't mean anything offensive by that. Most of my opinions about people and things remain the same, as they do for most people beyond their early 20s, I suspect. A few views change.

 

Anyway, it was intended as a friendly, playful comment - not some hostile "singling out", if that's what you think. I know we're all (largely) strangers on the Internet, but it's good to get to understand fellow posters a bit better. 

Fair enough. 

 

After racking my brain I'd say Arsenal used to be my second team now I'm not keen on them anymore, it's Man City now.

[Webbo]

1 minute ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Finding out that Webster was his first name...

 

I didn't do a lot for me either 

[Alf Bentley]

1 minute ago, Webbo said:

Fair enough. 

 

After racking my brain I'd say Arsenal used to be my second team now I'm not keen on them anymore, it's Man City now.

 

My second team is Folkestone Invicta, the heirs to the Folkestone Town team that I grew up supporting. I really must go and see them in action some time (have never seen Invicta play - they were a Sunday League team when I was young).

Particularly as the manager, who was a player for the Folkestone Town team I watched, is apparently the longest-serving manager in the Pyramid now that Wenger has gone (been manager for 22 years).

 

Otherwise, I keep an eye out for teams I've watched in passing in the past (Sheff Utd, Norwich, Charlton, Plymouth, Northampton) or teams that friends support (Bristol City, Villa, Oldham, St. Pauli, even Forest).

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

- Achievement: I used to have a vague idea that I'd like to "achieve something in life" (not sure what!). I'd still like to lead an interesting life, to feel that I'd been a half-decent Dad, to complete a few writing projects and to believe that those I respected thought well of me. But I'm now at ease with the idea of achieving nothing special in life.

 

This bit really caught my eye Alf. I think about it a lot.

 

I'm still far from 'at ease' with the idea of achieving nothing special with my life, even though I'm mid forties now. I think there's millions of us who are half-decent Dads, who people think well of etc. and that just seems par for the course to me. 

 

I frequently have 'sliding doors' thoughts about what I'd be doing/achieving now if I hadn't been ill/got married/moved location/had kids etc. and it's quite unsettling at times. Nobody in my family history or my wife's family history have really achieved anything special in life (the closest is my wife's god mother who's Ann Packer ) and I was kinda hoping I'd be the first.

 

But as the years tick on I suppose I'll resign myself to the fact that it won't be me (although history is littered with people who 'made it' later in life I suppose). Maybe one of my kids will do/be something special and leave some sort of lasting legacy instead....

[Vacamion]

 

Scottish Independence.

 

I used to be dead set against it.

 

Now, I'm kind of "meh, whatevs".

[Wymsey]

Katie Hopkins.

Used to really annoy me wjth her controversial opinions in general, but am now just used to it and think meh.

[Jon the Hat]

Donald J Trump.  I used to think he was a populist idiot who couldn’t do too much damage, but now I think he might just be a maniac intent on destroying the West. His reasoning I’m not sure of.

[Jon the Hat]

5 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

This bit really caught my eye Alf. I think about it a lot.

 

I'm still far from 'at ease' with the idea of achieving nothing special with my life, even though I'm mid forties now. I think there's millions of us who are half-decent Dads, who people think well of etc. and that just seems par for the course to me. 

 

I frequently have 'sliding doors' thoughts about what I'd be doing/achieving now if I hadn't been ill/got married/moved location/had kids etc. and it's quite unsettling at times. Nobody in my family history or my wife's family history have really achieved anything special in life (the closest is my wife's god mother who's Ann Packer ) and I was kinda hoping I'd be the first.

 

But as the years tick on I suppose I'll resign myself to the fact that it won't be me (although history is littered with people who 'made it' later in life I suppose). Maybe one of my kids will do/be something special and leave some sort of lasting legacy instead....

I used to think giving your kids a better chance in life than you got was something to achieve, but Christ knows what the world will look like in a decade from now, let alone two.

[VLC86]

Nottingham Forest, I used to hate them but I’m not even sure they exist any more. What are they up to nowadays?

[whoareyaaa]

My Ex

[Stadt]

Agree with Vardy shouts. Even as a huge Pearson disciple I wondered what the f uck he saw in Vardy. He also ballsed up at Cardiff away - I saw him as a failed gamble at championship level but he’s proved to be one of, if not the single best signing in football history. Normally I hate Leicester related hyperbole but signing a non league player for a record fee that went on to disappoint but winded up winning the most improbable league title is crazy.

 

Someone should make a film about it or something  

Edited 10 June 2018 by Wookie

[Alf Bentley]

5 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

This bit really caught my eye Alf. I think about it a lot.

 

I'm still far from 'at ease' with the idea of achieving nothing special with my life, even though I'm mid forties now. I think there's millions of us who are half-decent Dads, who people think well of etc. and that just seems par for the course to me. 

 

I frequently have 'sliding doors' thoughts about what I'd be doing/achieving now if I hadn't been ill/got married/moved location/had kids etc. and it's quite unsettling at times. Nobody in my family history or my wife's family history have really achieved anything special in life (the closest is my wife's god mother who's Ann Packer ) and I was kinda hoping I'd be the first.

 

But as the years tick on I suppose I'll resign myself to the fact that it won't be me (although history is littered with people who 'made it' later in life I suppose). Maybe one of my kids will do/be something special and leave some sort of lasting legacy instead....

 

It's only the last couple of years that I've started assuming that I'll achieve nothing special in life. As I'm about 10 years older than you, that gives you another 8 years of false hope. 

 

Being serious, what proportion of people achieve something noteworthy beyond personal pride or the bounds of family, friends, workplace or whatever? 1 in 10,000?

And that's achievements noteworthy during their own lifetime. How many great achievers from 100 years ago could any of us name? How many of the minority of current high achievers will be remembered in 100 years time? 1 in a million?

 

I never had any particular belief that I'd achieve something notable - or any drive or direction to do so. I suppose it just remained in the back of my mind as something that I hadn't ruled out. Whereas, if you hit your mid-50s and haven't done it yet, it's reasonable to think: "I'm probably never going to achieve anything special, am I?" A process of adaptation to (probable) reality - and not a depressing one, I find.

In the main, I reckon the people who achieve something special are those who DO have unusual drive and direction, though some have a natural talent or achieve something great through luck or force of circumstances.

But even the vast majority of those high achievers will be forgotten in 100 years time.

 

Maybe I'll surprise myself and write a great novel or something, but for now, beyond the passing influence of parenthood and passing memories of friends, the only lasting legacy I hope to leave is my family history research. I've researched and compiled pen pictures of the lives of a couple of thousand ancestors/relations - themselves almost all people who achieved nothing truly lasting. Once that's complete, I plan to give copies to family members to pass on to future generations. They might all stick it in the bin.  But I'd like to think that in 200 or 500 years time, some future person might read it and find the lives and characters described interesting - as I've found it interesting. That's mainly not an egotistical desire to have people remember me, more a sense of performing a beneficial service in the future.....though if they read my own pen picture and think "he seems to have been an interesting bloke", that would be a bonus. But we're all grains of sand on the beach and all that......well, unless your name is Socrates, Christ, Mohammed, Gutenberg, Michelangelo, Shakespeare (William, not Craig - sorry, Shakey!), Eliot/Elliott (George or Matt), Brunel, Marx, Hitler, Pankhurst, Curie, Picasso, Berners-Lee, Lennon/McCartney, Springsteen, Mandela or Vardy....

 

p.s. I knew the name Ann Packer seemed familiar, but must confess that I had to Google to remind myself.....see, even a high level of achievement (Olympic gold) is fading from recognition within 60 years. Maybe we should just focus on being well thought of by family, friends and other acquaintances within our lifetime?

[Miquel The Work Geordie]

36 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

Nottingham Forest, I used to hate them but I’m not even sure they exist any more. What are they up to nowadays?

 

Na, **** that. They're proper average and we're miles ahead of them as a club which is fantastic but I will ALWAYS delight in seeing them **** things up. I would love to see them run into the ground like Cov.

 

Can't stand their ****ing fanbase.

Edited 10 June 2018 by Miquel The Work Geordie

[ajthefox]

Nuts, mushrooms and cats. Never used to like any of them.

[Stadt]

Sometimes I try and convince myself I'm a grown up and think I don't actually hate Forest that much but then I see a @nffcdave1988 tweet about the world famous city ground and then I'm reminded they deserve all of the ire they get 

 

 

the ire

Edited 10 June 2018 by Wookie

[Guest]

Leicester-wise for me it's definitely Big Wes. Had him down as a massively average Championship centre back and was disappointed we'd signed a proper clogger with no ability whatsoever. Goes on to captain us to promotion as champions, the great escape, the Premier League and the Champions League quarters. Never been so happy to be proven wrong - legend.

[Soar Fox]

52 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

Nuts, mushrooms and cats. Never used to like any of them.

All cats should be put down. Or at least the one that keeps shitting in my back garden. 

[Izzy]

7 hours ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

It's only the last couple of years that I've started assuming that I'll achieve nothing special in life. As I'm about 10 years older than you, that gives you another 8 years of false hope. 

 

Being serious, what proportion of people achieve something noteworthy beyond personal pride or the bounds of family, friends, workplace or whatever? 1 in 10,000?

And that's achievements noteworthy during their own lifetime. How many great achievers from 100 years ago could any of us name? How many of the minority of current high achievers will be remembered in 100 years time? 1 in a million?

 

I never had any particular belief that I'd achieve something notable - or any drive or direction to do so. I suppose it just remained in the back of my mind as something that I hadn't ruled out. Whereas, if you hit your mid-50s and haven't done it yet, it's reasonable to think: "I'm probably never going to achieve anything special, am I?" A process of adaptation to (probable) reality - and not a depressing one, I find.

In the main, I reckon the people who achieve something special are those who DO have unusual drive and direction, though some have a natural talent or achieve something great through luck or force of circumstances.

But even the vast majority of those high achievers will be forgotten in 100 years time.

 

Maybe I'll surprise myself and write a great novel or something, but for now, beyond the passing influence of parenthood and passing memories of friends, the only lasting legacy I hope to leave is my family history research. I've researched and compiled pen pictures of the lives of a couple of thousand ancestors/relations - themselves almost all people who achieved nothing truly lasting. Once that's complete, I plan to give copies to family members to pass on to future generations. They might all stick it in the bin.  But I'd like to think that in 200 or 500 years time, some future person might read it and find the lives and characters described interesting - as I've found it interesting. That's mainly not an egotistical desire to have people remember me, more a sense of performing a beneficial service in the future.....though if they read my own pen picture and think "he seems to have been an interesting bloke", that would be a bonus. But we're all grains of sand on the beach and all that......well, unless your name is Socrates, Christ, Mohammed, Gutenberg, Michelangelo, Shakespeare (William, not Craig - sorry, Shakey!), Eliot/Elliott (George or Matt), Brunel, Marx, Hitler, Pankhurst, Curie, Picasso, Berners-Lee, Lennon/McCartney, Springsteen, Mandela or Vardy....

 

p.s. I knew the name Ann Packer seemed familiar, but must confess that I had to Google to remind myself.....see, even a high level of achievement (Olympic gold) is fading from recognition within 60 years. Maybe we should just focus on being well thought of by family, friends and other acquaintances within our lifetime?

Another interesting rely Alf thanks - and more food for thought....

 

I do take your points and no doubt Mac would agree that it's all just about luck anyway 

 

I suppose I've accepted I'm just a grain of sand on the beach like everyone else, but on reflection, maybe I'm talking about realising our personal potential (or not as the case may be)

 

My 'frustration' if that I don't believe I've achieved anywhere near my full potential (especially career wise) and that could be down to bad luck as much as anything else. Although I've done O.K, there's a nagging feeling I should be more and have achieved more. I'm still convinced that if I'd continued on my corporate path before my illness in '04, I'd be a senior director and on the board of a big company by now (and I would have classed that as a decent achievement)

 

Anyway, without wanting to de-rail the thread, the stuff you've done on your family history sounds incredible (now that's a legacy to leave future generations I'd say). My Mother did something similar a few years for our family and it gave her an enormous sense of satisfaction.

[VLC86]

8 hours ago, Miquel The Work Geordie said:

 

Na, **** that. They're proper average and we're miles ahead of them as a club which is fantastic but I will ALWAYS delight in seeing them **** things up. I would love to see them run into the ground like Cov.

 

Can't stand their ****ing fanbase.

 

Was taking the piss as they are basically irrelevant to us at the minute.

[CarbonVirtine]

8 hours ago, Alf Bentley said:

In the main, I reckon the people who achieve something special are those who DO have unusual drive and direction, though some have a natural talent or achieve something great through luck or force of circumstances.

Reckon you're right there, with hard work of course. One mustn't overlook that. I think even the naturally talented have to work hard. But of course it isn't hard work if you enjoy what you do.

 

'Something special' comes in many forms. One can be a successful parent I suppose (where 'successful' means something broader that the usual meaning). I guess my point is that it's not just novelists, performers et al that get to achieve.

 

I reckon I'm not far off your age Alf, I too am settling into the acceptance of just being one of the multitude - doing the things that entertain me for no other reason than they entertain me.

[Guest MattP]

Off the top of my head....

 

Trains - Used to hate them, now I enjoy a journey on them I don't even mind taking a longer route, I don't think there is a better way to see the country, get a window seat, look up from your phone and you'll see some absolutely wonderful sights on most journeys.

 

Reading - Again, used to find it boring, now I can sit and read for hours on end, a good book shows how much imagination your mind can have, I'll even avoid a film now if I know it's developed from a book as I want to create the image of the characters myself.

 

Money - Used to think this was everything in life, it isn't. As long as you have enough to look after yourself and engage in the things you enjoy it's more than enough, never sacrifice your own mental or physical health for a pay rise, just not worth it.

[Bellend Sebastian]

I can only think of two things.

 

1) Running

 

I used to be one of those people that couldn't/wouldn't even run to the end of street, but for the last 15 years or so I've had more enjoyment out of it than I'd have thought possible. Still takes some effort to get out the house, mind.

 

2) Red Dwarf

 

I was probably 13 or something when it first came out, and to my adolescent mind it was HILARIOUS, but within about 3 serious I'd decided it was the biggest pile of doo-doo I'd ever seen. Along with Last of The Summer Wine, one of the few things I cannot bear to even have on in the background