Funniest thing you've seen in person?

[Ashley]

Was on a plane going on Holiday once, planes just took off/taking off and this bloke decides he needs to go toilet. 

 

As the plane is practically vertical he's trying to make his way to the front of the plane. He wasn't making any ground what so ever 😂

[urban.spaceman]

About 10 years ago I was doing a voluntary international conservation project in the southwestern states. Based in Flagstaff, Arizona, you’d do projects around the nearby states like Utah, Nevada, California and New Mexico involving invasive species removal, trout habitat restoration, trail building and building a fence around Lake Mead. 
 

When we had downtime we’d rent a car and go off to ‘nearby’ cities like Las Vegas or San Diego. One time we went to Monument Valley in Utah to camp. It was bloody cold and windy when the sun went down, too windy to have a camp fire as it would have risked wildfires. 
 

So instead we all got in the car to stay warm before bed. Me, 2 English lads, a Scottish woman, two Dutch guys, and a young German girl. I told a couple of ghost stories to get the ball rolling. Completely pitch black outside.  Then we heard some spooky stories from the Europeans…

 

Now, the sort of car we’d rented was what’s known as a “soccer mom” car - essentially a people carrier but with mod cons to make life a bit easier and quicker. Including buttons above the driver’s door to open the boot and sliding door to get the kids out quicker.

 

I was in the driver’s seat.

 

So of course I waited until the spookiest possible moment from the German girl’s story. And then pressed the button to open the boot.

 

The screams, the swearing in German, Dutch and Scottish, the panicked scramble to get out of the car (which I’d locked) will stay with me forever. 

[bovril]

My Dad is friends with someone who was on the QPR board in the 90s and early 00s. Very rich guy, big house in Surrey, horses etc. He got us hospitality tickets for the game back in 04 I think when we went 2-0 up and lost 3-2.

 

That weekend he also put us up overnight in a luxury suite of the Carlton Tower. Very very nice. Went for a meal at the restaurant on the Saturday night. Michael Johnson was eating there! No idea what my Dad had on this guy to be honest, maybe they just got on very well. We felt a bit of out place as the hotel was full of very rich guests, Arabs, Russians etc.

 

Anyway, Sunday morning and we're going to check out. We get in the lift and the very well spoken bellboy asks us if we've had a nice time etc, probably thinking "who let these ruffians in?". We get down to the ground floor and the door opens to the lobby, two sheiks in full gear are chatting away on a sofa, maybe closing a deal or entrapping an England manager. As we step out my Dad drops his rucksack and out rolls, literally rolls across the floor, four bottles of shampoo / shower gel that the cheap bastard has stolen from the suite. Now I often take a bottle from hotels myself but this is the Carlton ****ing Tower. They roll across the pristine lobby floor and stop near the feet of the sheiks on the sofa. Everyone looks at us, more in pity than disgust. Still cracks me up thinking about it. 

Edited 15 August 2024 by bovril

[ramboacdc]

I am waiting for someone to say they saw @Ric Flair go down the middle of that escalator on the tube. 

I once watched a mate of mine walking into a crowd at a festival when he saw a Snickers bar that had been thrown at least 30 foot in the air hurtling in his direction. He clocked, paid it no mind and kept walking forwards. It proceeded to hit him straight in the middle stump and sunk him. 



 

Edited 15 August 2024 by ramboacdc

[NAKC20]

Me and the wife went on a mini cruise from Southampton to Santander. On the way back we hit very rough seas. We were sat at a table in the bar area watching people struggle to walk as the ship was rolling really bad from side to side when 1 bloke came along carrying 3 pints so obviously couldnt use his hands to help steady himself. Next minute the ship rolls so much he flies straight through the door into the womens toilets whilst still trying to cling on to his drinks. Needless to say he came back out empty handed and very red faced.

[SystonFox]

kid in a bin attached to the wall at filbo at FNF. it was hilarious

[LcFc_Smiv]

When at uni I used to take a group of my mates to play 6-a-side football with a friend from home and his course mates. The games were usually taken pretty seriously but all in good nature. Anyway, one of my friends course mates was a guy you could only described as larger than life, a big burley lad who everyone got on with and he just put a smile on your face with his antics. One day the same guy turns up to play but he's in a foul mood and the game is getting pretty competitive and has an edge to it. We were chasing the game and the ball has come to my mate who goes to hit it long, the big lad jumps in the air and takes it straight between the legs, falling to his knees with a very audible 'ooooooo' and some initial laughs that broke the tension from everyone, as immediately as it happened the ball comes back to the same lad who's just struck it, he hits it back on the half volley again hitting the poor bloke square in the nose and flattening him. Pretty much everyone on the pitch at this point is on the floor crying with laughter with one of those laughs that you just can't stop. Needless to say he saw the funny side to it too and some good natured beers were shared afterwards. To this day just thinking about it brings a smile to my face.

[VLC86]

Ive told this story before and every time I think about it I can’t stop laughing.

 

Drove through the KFC drive through with a car full of mates, ordered my food. Got to the collection window and the woman says “oh, I thought I knew you” I was a bit confused as I didn’t and she asked me to park up to wait for my food.

 

I parked up in this bay and it became apparent why she asked, someone next to me had the same car in the same colour.

 

Anyway, food comes out and we have the wrong food so we send my mate back in to sort it. He marches in pissed off, and then quickly marches out looking fuming, walks past my car, flings open the drivers side door on this identical car and shouts “give me the ****ing receipt you pricks”.

 

The poor guy in the other car absolutely shit himself, my mate shit himself and jumped back in my car. Honestly one of the funniest things I’ve ever witnessed.

Edited 15 August 2024 by VLC86

[Chiltern Fox]

Was at a urinal at work doing my business when a bloke rocks up to the next urinal and drops his trousers and pants to the floor.

 

Does his business, pulls trousers and pants back up and leaves.

 

Is this normal?

[NAKC20]

Just now, Chiltern Fox said:

Was at a urinal at work doing my business when a bloke rocks up to the next urinal and drops his trousers and pants to the floor.

 

Does his business, pulls trousers and pants back up and leaves.

 

Is this normal?

It is if your 3 years old

[Torquay Gunner]

Was on holiday in Malaysia years ago staying in a beach resort.  There was a Muslim family on the beach, with mother wearing an abaya and hijab and their son,  who was about 15 was hiding behind a tree, taking photos of the topless bleach blond German woman on a recliner.  Interesting juxtaposition morally, you could argue he was in the wrong, or was she showing a lack of respect in a predominantly Muslim country.  Anyway, I found it amusing. 🫣

[Stadt]

Not too dissimilar to LCFC_Smiv's...

 

At the tennis courts (well tarmac'd playground) in year 8 or so, a lad drop kicks a football at a kid called Sam  - only from 5 or 6 yards away which is aleady funny enough as a juvenile teen. Summarily, he drops like a sack of shit backwards, bleary-eyed he gets up rubbing his red face to have a go at the l-

 

*WHACK*

 

Another - stray - football launched more like 80 yards from the far end of the courts smacks him on the back of the head - knocking him over onto his face this time.

 

We were all floored, tears streaming down our faces.

Edited 15 August 2024 by Stadt

[Stuntman_Mike]

 

Someone had to!

[bovril]

1 minute ago, Stuntman_Mike said:

 

Someone had to!

Drinkwater's fault

[Free Falling Foxes]

7 hours ago, Chiltern Fox said:

Was at a urinal at work doing my business when a bloke rocks up to the next urinal and drops his trousers and pants to the floor.

 

Does his business, pulls trousers and pants back up and leaves.

 

Is this normal?

I walked into the loos at the Adult Ed centre on Bishops St once and was greeted with the same thing.

[The Quick Brown Fox]

6 hours ago, Stuntman_Mike said:

 

Someone had to!

When he lined up to take this, I said to the guy next to me, he's going to smash this right in

 

We both near pissed ourselves when he hit it 

[phoneticerror]

I saw a Japanese tourist fall into an algae riddled river in Amsterdam a few weeks ago. It was in the windmill area of the city, and she had climbed over a fence to get a selfie. She thought the algae was grass and put her full weight on it. 
 

Absolutely covered in shite she was. 

[phoneticerror]

On 15/08/2024 at 20:31, Free Falling Foxes said:

I walked into the loos at the Adult Ed centre on Bishops St once and was greeted with the same thing.

My mate Neil did this a few times for a laugh when we were younger. Just to see the reaction when he pissed like a toddler 😂

[adejo92]

38 minutes ago, phoneticerror said:

My mate Neil did this a few times for a laugh when we were younger. Just to see the reaction when he pissed like a toddler 😂

That's funny Simon. Were Will & Jay there too?

[pleatout]

You gotta be a bit of a Star Wars nerd for this - sorry.

 

Space Centre, Leicester A few years ago, they had a Star Wars themed weekend including the  UK Garrison, basically a group that dress up as Star Wars characters.  They raise money for charity and all that stuff

 

https://www.ukgarrison.co.uk/501st-uk-garrison.html

 

Anyway, walking across the car park and there are two Storm Troopers, looking mean and menacing (tbh they are quite scary), watching everyone walk by.

 

A woman with two small children walked past them. The kids were dressed as Jawa - small hooded characters.

 

Storm Trooper looks at them and says "Ah - Jawa"

 

Mother without missing a beat waved her arm in a circular motion and said "these are not the Jawa you are looking for" and carried on.

 

I dont think Storm Troopers are supposed to laugh

 

 

[tom27111]

So, today, I witnessed something so funny that it made 8 grown men absolutely howl with laughter. 

 

As most of you know, I sell cars for a living. It involves a bloke in his 50's who's lovely, but a real old school car salesman. Coincidentally, also called Tom.

 

I bought a Meta VR headset last week. Took it in to work to show a few guys I play golf with the golf game on there.

 

We then moved to cricket. It's unreal. With the headset on, you almost think you're inside a stadium.

 

Tom comes in and asks for a go. Of course he can have a go.

 

First ball, clean bowled. Second ball, he flicks one down the leg side. At his point, Tom starts running. Fast. Really fast.

 

He's going for a cheeky single. Problem is, you don't have to run. Especially in an enclosed space.

 

He's sprinted that hard, he's ran straight into a table, about 6 foot round. He's then flipped over, head first and come crashing down. The table has gone fully through the plasterboard and wedged itself in to the wall.

 

The VR headset was fine. Tom wasn't. But nothing broken.

 

We're all just gutted that nobody filmed it and the boss has banned me from bringing it in to work again 

[StanSP]

1 hour ago, tom27111 said:

As most of you know, I sell cars for a living

Wtf, seriously?!

[tom27111]

1 minute ago, StanSP said:

Wtf, seriously?!

 

Yeah man. Didn't you know?

 

Is it true you were on Countdown once? 

 

OK, twice. You won one. And actually mate, I think I'm still more frustrated than you are that you needed half a second longer to do that final numbers round!!!!!

 

Oh man, we've totally changed subject, but I'll roll with it anyway...

 

You know anyone who wants to sell cars in MK? It's local to you and we're desperate. 

 

I've been very quiet on here lately,  but I hope you and your family are well @StanSP 

[StanSP]

46 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

 

Yeah man. Didn't you know?

 

Is it true you were on Countdown once? 

 

OK, twice. You won one. And actually mate, I think I'm still more frustrated than you are that you needed half a second longer to do that final numbers round!!!!!

 

Oh man, we've totally changed subject, but I'll roll with it anyway...

 

You know anyone who wants to sell cars in MK? It's local to you and we're desperate. 

 

I've been very quiet on here lately,  but I hope you and your family are well @StanSP 

Haha it may or may or be true . That final numbers round still irks me! 

 

Sadly don't know anyone for that, apologies! 

 

Family all very well, thank you! Hope you're all good too mate! 

[tom27111]

58 minutes ago, StanSP said:

Haha it may or may or be true . That final numbers round still irks me! 

 

Sadly don't know anyone for that, apologies! 

 

Family all very well, thank you! Hope you're all good too mate! 

We all love you @StanSP. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 

 

Been a while since we've interacted, but I know you're just as beautiful 😍 

 

@Jattdogg is going to be jealous!

 

Haha, sorry. Love you both x