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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, Filbert_Ross said:

A barber was arrested yesterday in my area for selling drugs.

I've been his customer for years. 

Didn't even know he was a barber...

 

13 hours ago, cambridgefox said:

Oh hello!

 

On 21/03/2017 at 19:26, Buce said:

News just coming in:

 

Police have confirmed that a raid on a house next to Beaumont Leys library found guns and several thousand pounds worth of drugs.

 

Neighbours expressed their shock - they didn't know Beaumont Leys had a library..

 

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
24 minutes ago, Wortho said:

Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian underpants?

 

Cos Chernobyl fallout!!

Haven’t heard that since High School in 1986! :D

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Durnerz said:

I was teaching my dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground the other day.....he went from Barking to Tooting in under an hour.

 

My dog has no nose...

 

NO, IZZY! NO!

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Trav Le Bleu

Trav Le Bleu

Posted
Posted

I'd just like to warn everyone, think I got a scam phone call today. It said I had won either £600 or tickets to an Elvis tribute act. You have to reply by pressing 1 for the money, or 2 for the show.

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
58 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

I'd just like to warn everyone, think I got a scam phone call today. It said I had won either £600 or tickets to an Elvis tribute act. You have to reply by pressing 1 for the money, or 2 for the show.

 

Was the tribute act that Muslim Elvis impersonator - Amal Shukup?

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
On 11/30/2016 at 21:39, Spudulike said:

Just had one of those spam calls telling me that I'd won a competition and that I could choose my prize. The options were £50 or two tickets to see an Elvis impersonator.

 

It said, press...

 

One for the money

Two for the show

 

2 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

I'd just like to warn everyone, think I got a scam phone call today. It said I had won either £600 or tickets to an Elvis tribute act. You have to reply by pressing 1 for the money, or 2 for the show.

That's inflation for ya :whistle:

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

What's with the joke police these days?

Just a bit of bantz mate highlighting how many unoriginal jokes there are these days :thumbup:

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
12 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

I'd just like to warn everyone, think I got a scam phone call today. It said I had won either £600 or tickets to an Elvis tribute act. You have to reply by pressing 1 for the money, or 2 for the show.

 

I thought there were other options? 3 for a personal dresser and an unnumbered option for free accommodation at the feline pet rescue centre?

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