The joke thread

[Wortho]

Scientists crosses an hyena with an Oxo cube. Made himself a laughing stock.

[Wortho]

Blonde takes her car to the garage, "It keeps stalling.
-Mechanic "Crap in the carburettor"
-Blonde "How often?"

[Parafox]

27 minutes ago, Wortho said:

Blonde takes her car to the garage, "It keeps stalling.
-Mechanic "Crap in the carburettor"
-Blonde "How often?"

Just the word "carburettor" shows how old this joke is 

[Wortho]

47 minutes ago, Parafox said:

Just the word "carburettor" shows how old this joke is 

The old ones are the good ones!!

[Wortho]

I've just been blocked on twitter by Gary Barlow.

Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it.

 

 

 

 

I might have posted this before, I'm sure someone will inform me if I have.

[Wortho]

My wife used to work as a magicians assistant and she picked up a few tricks. I came home from work early and she was in the bedroom, she said, "Abracadabra!" and my best mate came out of the wardrobe, stark naked. 
The poor bastard must have wondered what the **** was going on.

[Izzy]

On 06/02/2019 at 21:03, Izzy said:

I can't believe that Gary Barlow has blocked me on Twitter!

 

I've no idea why..... but whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it...

 

54 minutes ago, Wortho said:

I've just been blocked on twitter by Gary Barlow.

Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it.

 

 

I might have posted this before, I'm sure someone will inform me if I have.

4 simple steps buddy to check if a joke has been posted before.

 

1. Click on ‘search’ (Top right)

2. Select ‘this thread’ (or all content)

3. Type in joke key word (in this case ‘Barlow’)

4. Press enter and all posts containing that word appear.

 

You’re welcome 

 

[Wortho]

1 minute ago, Izzy said:

 

4 simple steps buddy to check if a joke has been posted before.

 

1. Click on ‘search’ (Top right)

2. Select ‘this thread’ (or all content)

3. Type in joke key word (in this case ‘Barlow’)

4. Press enter and all posts containing that word appear.

 

You’re welcome 

 

Cheers for that Izzy 

[Izzy]

On 08/05/2019 at 15:08, Wortho said:

My wife used to work as a magician's assistant years ago. I think she has picked up a few tricks.
I came home from work early yesterday and she was in the bedroom. She said, "Abracadabra!" and my mate, Brad came out of the wardrobe, stark naked.
Poor b*stard must have wondered what the **** was going on...

 

1 hour ago, Wortho said:

My wife used to work as a magicians assistant and she picked up a few tricks. I came home from work early and she was in the bedroom, she said, "Abracadabra!" and my best mate came out of the wardrobe, stark naked. 
The poor bastard must have wondered what the **** was going on.

Same 4 simple steps mate. 

 

Always the same 

[Wortho]

15 minutes ago, Izzy said:

 

Same 4 simple steps mate. 

 

Always the same 

But it was worth repeating 

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, Izzy said:

 

Same 4 simple steps mate. 

 

Always the same 

Which Izzy rarely follows

[UpTheLeagueFox]

11 hours ago, Izzy said:

4 simple steps buddy to check if a joke has been posted before.

 

1. Click on ‘search’ (Top right)

2. Select ‘this thread’ (or all content)

3. Type in joke key word (in this case ‘Barlow’)

4. Press enter and all posts containing that word appear.

 

You’re welcome 

 

9 hours ago, Wortho said:

But it was worth repeating 

 

7 hours ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Which Izzy rarely follows

I don't mind jokes being repeated, not everyone sees them first time around.

Relax @Izzy mate, nowt wrong with a bit of recycling.

[Bob Weasel Fox]

My doctor just told me I have a weak pelvic floor.
PMSL.

[Izzy]

9 hours ago, UpTheLeagueFox said:

 

I don't mind jokes being repeated, not everyone sees them first time around.

Relax @Izzy mate, nowt wrong with a bit of recycling.

Please don’t confuse me with someone who actually cares mate  

Just a bit of light hearted bantz 

[davieG]

11 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Please don’t confuse me with someone who actually cares mate  

Just a bit of light hearted bantz 

I don't get it 

[TiffToff88]

12 hours ago, UpTheLeagueFox said:

 

 

I don't mind jokes being repeated, not everyone sees them first time around.

Relax @Izzy mate, nowt wrong with a bit of recycling.

 

He's just having a laugh (which is ironically a rare occurrence in this thread)

[UpTheLeagueFox]

1 hour ago, TiffToff88 said:

He's just having a laugh (which is ironically a rare occurrence in this thread)

I know. @Izzy is a dear old friend of mine, he knew I was merely joshing

[Tinman]

Just been in Tesco and seen they have flour, eggs and milk. We haven't even had Christmas yet and they've already got stuff in for Shrove Tuesday.....

[Oxfordfox83]

On 29/08/2019 at 12:18, Izzy said:

 

4 simple steps buddy to check if a joke has been posted before.

 

1. Click on ‘search’ (Top right)

2. Select ‘this thread’ (or all content)

3. Type in joke key word (in this case ‘Barlow’)

4. Press enter and all posts containing that word appear.

 

You’re welcome 

 

 

On 23/09/2018 at 14:28, Izzy said:

No worries dude 

 

I've found the 'search' function works quite well on this thread to see if it a jokes been posted before 

 

On 24/04/2019 at 19:46, Izzy said:

Welcome to the thread James 

 

P.S. There's a search function so you can check if jokes have been posted before mate 

 

 

 

 

 

Ahem

Edited 31 August 2019 by Oxfordfox83

[Mike Oxlong]

On 29/08/2019 at 12:18, Izzy said:

 

4 simple steps buddy to check if a joke has been posted before.

 

1. Click on ‘search’ (Top right)

2. Select ‘this thread’ (or all content)

3. Type in joke key word (in this case ‘Barlow’)

4. Press enter and all posts containing that word appear.

 

You’re welcome 

 

 

Disappointed.

 

I had visions of you scrolling back through all 430 pages every time a “new” joke was posted.

[Facecloth]

26 minutes ago, Mike Oxlong said:

 

Disappointed.

 

I had visions of you scrolling back through all 430 pages every time a “new” joke was posted.

That's why he always finds the duplicates before me!

[BlueSi13]

For the past 20 years I've been obsessed with buying and collecting as many magazines as I can.

 

I've got lots of issues.

[Wortho]

After a really awkward meal with my new girlfriend and her parents, she said:

"You didn't say much tonight, that was really uncomfortable."

"I know, but it's always like that when you meet up with an ex" I replied.

"Oh my God!" she cried, "you slept with my mum?"

"Nope."

[Bob Weasel Fox]

I'm in so much debt, I've had to sell some of my organs on the Dark Web.
I'm up to my eyeballs.

[Voll Blau]