Depression

[Izzy]

35 minutes ago, TAFKA Castroneves said:

Ah man it's cool i'm despite some tricky moments now and again kinda at this weird peace with it a bit - even though that might sound a bit strange to people - but that's really because i'm very lucky to have a great support network around me as well - the advice ive given of "health first" has really helped me. I'm not even thinking about work and etc until I'm on the meds and they're in and we see where we are, signed off till second week of Jan at earliest so no pressure there. For me though it's a problem i've had for years now - got a history of it and been on meds before so it's just the next stage really (this drug is like the 3rd option after 2 milder ones apparently - but that could depend on where you live even i guess), my depression has always been there and i just spiralled with my self-medicating - started off functioning with everything but time decays and things get more extreme to the point where your efforts to self solve end up becoming a greater problem, i'll be honest now i'd really love a joint and i feel more stressed not having it (like i used to with booze) BUT saying that - how can i ever try and fix the core problem if i'm not sober, short term pain - long term gain hopefully - and if it doesnt work i'll try something else. My appetite is by far the worst thing - used to be 16 stone, now 13 in the space of a few months - and im not even concious about that, that was the scary moment for me where I realised it could even take my life even excluding that horrible foe suicide - it was that bad i was convinced i had to have cancer you know, then got the all clear for that after months of appointments and etc - but it was that moment of it becoming physical when I knew deep down it was time to dig in and go after it.

 

If anyone ever needed any proof depression can become a physical thing i'm kinda a walking embodiment of that as of course some would only assume its a mental thing, it can be both and even more alas.

 

But indeed this thread helps as well you know! Hearing others talk and feeling open enough to talk does help me - and if i can help anyone that makes me feel better too of course

Good on ya mate. You're very self aware and know what you need to do - which is more than half the battle I think. I got depressed after a major illness and dropped from 13 stone to 8 stone but eventually managed to stabilise at around 10 stone. I hope you get your appetite back soon and I'm sure the pills will help with this 

[stripeyfox]

2 hours ago, tom27111 said:

My main priority is somewhere to stay. 

 

If that gets sorted, I think I can work through the emotional stuff.

 

I just don't know.

I wish I could help with that. I hope you get something sorted Tom.

 

 

[ajthefox]

3 hours ago, tom27111 said:

My main priority is somewhere to stay. 

 

If that gets sorted, I think I can work through the emotional stuff.

 

I just don't know.

This has been the first thread I've been checking in gen chat for the last couple of weeks now just to make sure you know there are people reading.

Stay strong mate, we're all rooting for you.

[Fez of Mahrez]

2 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

This has been the first thread I've been checking in gen chat for the last couple of weeks now just to make sure you know there are people reading.

Stay strong mate, we're all rooting for you.

Same here - there are probably a few of us who can't put it into words but are still following and rooting for you, and for anyone else struggling.

 

Stick at it mate.

[TAFKA Castroneves]

2 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Good on ya mate. You're very self aware and know what you need to do - which is more than half the battle I think. I got depressed after a major illness and dropped from 13 stone to 8 stone but eventually managed to stabilise at around 10 stone. I hope you get your appetite back soon and I'm sure the pills will help with this 

 

Yeah part of it is being quite hyper-sensitive - the whole self awareness thing apparently, i'm lucky to still have that a lot of the time in backup - as i'm sure people who don't and suffer with depression find things so much harder - of course I have my moments where it can take over to an extreme and it gets stuck behind a brick wall, happens, normally that's when i used to just kinda hide away. It really has shaped who I am though so i can't hate it all the time ironically, i'm glad i care about shit you know, i cried my eyes out when we won the league i felt that shake my entire body, wouldn't have missed that in my life for the world - it's crazy really but sometimes you're kinda so mental (and Stephen Fry explained it better than I ever could on his program) for everything bad it gives you - there are good things that i wouldnt want to risk losing about myself you know? the human mind is a stupidly amazing thing i guess!

[RobHawk]

5 hours ago, tom27111 said:

My main priority is somewhere to stay. 

 

If that gets sorted, I think I can work through the emotional stuff.

 

I just don't know.

have you spoken to anyone about housing? I know it can be tough, especially around London, but there's still support out there. I know you mentioned earlier that you have a job, is there any chance of you getting the money together for a bond and deposit? What are your financial circumstances, do you have much debt? 

 

Sorry for for all the questions and feel free to pm me if you prefer, I work in money advice and whilst I don't do a lot with housing may be able to signpost you to some help or may even be able to help you think outside the box in regards to getting some funds to get you somewhere. 

 

If if that's the key issue right now, I and others will all offer our advice and support to try and get it sorted for you. 

 

Keep strong Buddy!

[ozleicester]

@tom27111

 

Hey mate, you alright?  have you spoken to the police?

[tom27111]

Cheers guys.

 

I've got a really good mate picking me up tomorrow.

 

He's just had a kid and he's got so much going on, but he cares about me.

 

I told him to clear it with his Mrs, s he said go and get him now!

 

I'm overwhelmed by the support from everyone. so thank you all.

 

I've got somewhere to stay, so I can work at the rest.

 

I'm really emotional typing all this.

 

Thanks again. I'll keep you updated x

[tom27111]

Thanks all again, I'm such a mess, but you've all been so supportive and showed real compassion.

 

I hope this does help others, like you've all suggested.

 

This isn't over, but there's some hope.

 

Thank you all 

[tom27111]

12 minutes ago, ozleicester said:

@tom27111

 

Hey mate, you alright?  have you spoken to the police?

 

Yeah, 2 just came to see me. Both really nice, showed some care and saw I had somewhere to go.

 

They wished me well.

 

A bit different to the one who took me on a section 136! 

[spacemunky]

Glad you have somewhere to stay Tom.

 

Bipolar myself, so it's always a battle. Lost some family members, when the depression became too much.

 

This time of the year always seems hard. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[stripeyfox]

3 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Cheers guys.

 

I've got a really good mate picking me up tomorrow.

 

He's just had a kid and he's got so much going on, but he cares about me.

 

I told him to clear it with his Mrs, s he said go and get him now!

 

I'm overwhelmed by the support from everyone. so thank you all.

 

I've got somewhere to stay, so I can work at the rest.

 

I'm really emotional typing all this.

 

Thanks again. I'll keep you updated x

 

That's good mate, really pleased that you have somewhere to go where people care about you. It is a relief to hear. 

 

[Buce]

10 hours ago, TAFKA Castroneves said:

That's it tom, little bits mate, you've got a tougher challenge than a lot of us with your circumstances as well right now, you've done well so far so don't beat yourself up dude -

moving around and struggling to settle is tough as well man, if you don't mind me asking (and sorry if its been mentioned somewhere) are you in touch with your folks mate? Of course i apologise if they aren't around for whatever reason. I saw a psychiatrist today and he was a top bloke, its amazing how his auroa, his responses to me and everything put me at ease a bit more - for me they are going to put me on Miazapan (spelling is probably wrong as i havent googled it yet) - im guessing its a version of Diazapan (once again spelling) its apparently a more stronger anti-depressant but the "side effects" it has they feel will help me with my anxiety and my appetitite - makes you really hungry apparently!

 

 

 

I'm guessing that you mean Mirtazapine?

 

If so, just fyi, it's not a sedative like Diazepam, it's one of a new generation of anti-depressants. I've heard good things about it, the most encouraging one of which is that it is largely free of some of the more unpleasant side-effects that you get with ssris (no sexual dysfunction being the big one).

 

Be careful with the increased appetite - excessive weight gain has been reported as a side-effect,

 

Good luck, buddy.

[foxfanazer]

4 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Cheers guys.

 

I've got a really good mate picking me up tomorrow.

 

He's just had a kid and he's got so much going on, but he cares about me.

 

I told him to clear it with his Mrs, s he said go and get him now!

 

I'm overwhelmed by the support from everyone. so thank you all.

 

I've got somewhere to stay, so I can work at the rest.

 

I'm really emotional typing all this.

 

Thanks again. I'll keep you updated x

 

Thats a good start mate!

[RobHawk]

5 hours ago, tom27111 said:

Cheers guys.

 

I've got a really good mate picking me up tomorrow.

 

He's just had a kid and he's got so much going on, but he cares about me.

 

I told him to clear it with his Mrs, s he said go and get him now!

 

I'm overwhelmed by the support from everyone. so thank you all.

 

I've got somewhere to stay, so I can work at the rest.

 

I'm really emotional typing all this.

 

Thanks again. I'll keep you updated x

Great news! That's one part sorted! Just keep going buddy, you'll get there!

[Nick]

Mornin Tom,

 

Where are you now then - is your mate in Luton or are you back up in the midlands? Pleased to hear you've got somewhere temporary for a bit - I suppose now you get a few days to consider where you'd like to live / put down a few roots while your health improves. Keep us in the loop to how it's all going buddy.

[RobHawk]

19 hours ago, RobHawk said:

Hello mate,

 

Thanks for the update, i just wanted to comment on the meds not doing anything for you yet. I recently went back on antidepressants myself, about the start of November i think. I wasn't as down as you sound but i'd been having issues in work that had been getting me down for a long time. It got to the point where i didn't have the stregnth to keep fighting. So what i wanted to say is the meds take time, only over the last week or so have i started to feel more like myself again, and its a gradual so its not like you wake up one morning and everythings ok again. I still have down days too, but they are becoming less frequent and not as bad as before - i know i still have at least a few more months of healing before i will be close to being back to me best. 

My biggest bit of advice, is not to put pressure on yourself, take things day by day and try and see as much positivity in the world as you can. You don't need me to say this, but sitting in a pub won't help - go see if you can volenteer somewhere, try and give something back - I know this sounds very condesending but it worked wonders for me. Its all about finding a path and just sticking to it, other things will work themselves out. For me, the next thing i need to do, is get the motivation to exercise again, as i know it helps but i'm not feeling up to it yet! 

Just thought i'd comment that writing this post inspired me last night, went home and went for a run for the first time in years. Its amazing where you can get your inspiration from, i wouldn't have done that if it wasn't for you @tom27111. 

 

Edit: I'm aching like a biatch today though! 

Edited 22 December 2016 by RobHawk

[Costock_Fox]

3 hours ago, RobHawk said:

Just thought i'd comment that writing this post inspired me last night, went home and went for a run for the first time in years. Its amazing where you can get your inspiration from, i wouldn't have done that if it wasn't for you @tom27111. 

 

Edit: I'm aching like a biatch today though! 

Did you accidentally run to Windsor?

[stripeyfox]

Morning Tom. Hope you've got settled in at your friend's house. 

 

About to get fully embroiled in the Christmas craziness so may not be around online too much so I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all the best for Christmas. I really hope you have a good one.

 

Take care buddy x

 

[Raj]

Good luck Tom.

Have a good Christmas.

[TAFKA Castroneves]

On 22/12/2016 at 06:51, Buce said:

 

I'm guessing that you mean Mirtazapine?

 

If so, just fyi, it's not a sedative like Diazepam, it's one of a new generation of anti-depressants. I've heard good things about it, the most encouraging one of which is that it is largely free of some of the more unpleasant side-effects that you get with ssris (no sexual dysfunction being the big one).

 

Be careful with the increased appetite - excessive weight gain has been reported as a side-effect,

 

Good luck, buddy.

That's the one mate, second day with it and yeah it's been very good so far, excellent for the anxiety - first night had a lovely kip for the first time in longer than i can even remember - i'm being a bit cautious with it for a few days till my body adjusts a bit as i'm still a bit zonked the day after (you take it at night pre bed) so avoiding driving till after christmas to be safe. I'm keeping an eye on the hunger as yeah it does make you hungry, for me so far that means i've eaten more normally - positive start!

 

Also want to send a Happy Christmas to Tom (and of course everyone else here and on Foxestalk), hope you're getting on alright mate, if you get a moment to drop in and let us know how you're getting on that would be awesome.

[tom27111]

Thanks everyone. At my mates now, been roped in to helping cook for about 15 today!

 

The full works.

 

It's absolute chaos and I'm loving every minute!

 

Went out last night and saw about 5 old mates, so it's going well.

 

One step at a time.

 

Thanks again for everything, it really made a huge difference. 

 

I hope you and all your families have a great Christmas. 

[Costock_Fox]

Just now, tom27111 said:

Thanks everyone. At my mates now, been roped in to helping cook for about 15 today!

 

The full works.

 

It's absolute chaos and I'm loving every minute!

 

Went out last night and saw about 5 old mates, so it's going well.

 

One step at a time.

 

Thanks again for everything, it really made a huge difference. 

 

I hope you and all your families have a great Christmas. 

Good to hear it's going well mate, Have a great Christmas.

[Poakey]

Nice one Tom!!

[Nick]

Merry Christmas @tom27111

 

 

Edited 25 December 2016 by Nick