What is the Funniest Thing You Have Seen?

[DANGEROUS TIGER]

I can think of a few, but this I think was the funniest.

 

Some years ago, my wife and I went to a very posh do at a big London hotel ( I had to hire an evening suit.). There was a band on the stage playing music while we ate, and we were on a table at the front. The soup was served, and as I looked over at the other table, a chap's  bow tie dropped into his soup. I couldn't stop laughing, and neither could the band's singer, who was forced to stop. The poor bloke was trying to remove his tie from his soup with his spoon, but it kept falling back into his plate. By the time he recovered it ,there were many people crying with laughter.

 

I thought things like that could only happened in films..

 

[tom27111]

4 minutes ago, DANGEROUS TIGER said:

I can think of a few, but this I think was the funniest.

 

Some years ago, my wife and I went to a very posh do at a big London hotel ( I had to hire an evening suit.). There was a band on the stage playing music while we ate, and we were on a table at the front. The soup was served, and as I looked over at the other table, a chap's  bow tie dropped into his soup. I couldn't stop laughing, and neither could the band's singer, who was forced to stop. The poor bloke was trying to remove his tie from his soup with his spoon, but it kept falling back into his plate. By the time he recovered it ,there were many people crying with laughter.

 

I thought things like that could only happened in films..

 

#megalolz 

[Unabomber]

Can’t compete with that 

[cambridgefox]

I wonder what soup it was.

[Buce]

3 minutes ago, cambridgefox said:

I wonder what soup it was.

 

Thai food, obviously.

[Strokes]

2 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Thai food, obviously.

That’s Knot funny.

[Webbo]

I remember a game at Filbert Street in the family stand. A shot came in wide and was heading directly towards this bloke. The man ducks under the ball and straightens up, the ball bounces off the back wall and hits him on the back of the head. It got quite a laugh.

[Izzy]

My missus was in labour for hours having our first kid.

 

She was drugged up to the eyeballs and when it came to the 'big push' she did a massive poo.

 

I PMSL but the midwives weren't amused.

 

The wife still denies all knowledge as she was spaced out but I still remind her from time to time

[kingfox]

Josh Low attempting to play football.

[cambridgefox]

50 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

My missus was in labour for hours having our first kid.

 

She was drugged up to the eyeballs and when it came to the 'big push' she did a massive poo.

 

I PMSL but the midwives weren't amused.

 

The wife still denies all knowledge as she was spaced out but I still remind her from time to time

My Mrs did that.

she said to the midwife that she had and the midwife said “no you haven’t.”

my Mrs said well what’s that smell then.

Mr whippy everywhere !

 

Mind you I shay myself on holiday once without having a baby!

Edited 1 August 2018 by cambridgefox

[VLC86]

Its got to be when I went to KFC once.

 

Went through the drive through with a car full of my mates and I used to drive this green 106. We ordered our food and went to the next window and the woman there said something like “Oh, I thought I knew you” I was really confused but anyway took my food and parked up.

 

I open the bag of food and realise we have completely the wrong order so we send one of my mates in with the food. It was at this point I realised I had actually parked up next to an identical car and realise the woman at the counter clearly though I was the person in that car which also means I’ve got their food.

 

By the time I realised my mate had came out of KFC looking furious and marching towards my car... oh no he’s walked straight past my car, opened the door of the other green 106 and in an aggressive manor shouted “Give me the ****ing receipt you pricks”. The poor guy in the car absolutely shit himself thinking he was getting robbed, my mate absolutely shit himself thinking he was going to get beat up and I have never laughed so hard.

 

Still kills me even writing this now.

[Kinowe Soorie]

Leicester winning the league 

[RonnieTodger]

Was in Long Bar on Market Street with that really narrow staircase, about to go downstairs. Two of my mates were in front of me, one of which is a complete oaf. I don't know why it's funnier but one of them in 6'8. The oaf is walking behind the tall one and slips on a step, regains his balance but a splash of his pint flops onto the lanky one's shoulder who turns around and says "you ****ing retard". They carry on and one step later and the daft one falls completely, taking the lanky out as they roll down this tiny staircase like a fight-cloud in a cartoon.

 

They both get up, the lanky one with his arse hanging out throws the rest of his pint on the other, whilst everyone downstairs is pissing themselves at seeing a beer covered bundle appear at the bottom of the stairs. They actually had a fight because of it.

[davieG]

10 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

My missus was in labour for hours having our first kid.

 

She was drugged up to the eyeballs and when it came to the 'big push' she did a massive poo.

 

I PMSL but the midwives weren't amused.

 

The wife still denies all knowledge as she was spaced out but I still remind her from time to time

My son peed in the nurse's face as he was being wrapped up for the first time.

[Alf Bentley]

1 hour ago, davieG said:

My son peed in the nurse's face as he was being wrapped up for the first time.

 

When I was 4 and was taken in to meet my new baby brother minutes after birth, he pissed on me from a couple of feet away. Didn't get my face, fortunately.

 

An amusing memory at his expense...

In my early 20s, I was approaching the nearer of the two entrance doors to the village pub. Suddenly the far door burst open. It was the barman bodily throwing my teenage brother out of the pub.

I asked what had happened. Turned out my brother had just thrown a pint over the barman for no good reason, so I went in and ordered my pint as planned. 

[Max Wall]

11 hours ago, cambridgefox said:

My Mrs did that.

she said to the midwife that she had and the midwife said “no you haven’t.”

my Mrs said well what’s that smell then.

Mr whippy everywhere !

 

Mind you I shay myself on holiday once without having a baby!

 

2 weeks self catering in Kandahar?

[Bellend Sebastian]

Vicki the Vixen tripping over a camera bag and her head falling off and rolling down the touchline was pretty funny

[Alf Bentley]

40 minutes ago, Bellend Sebastian said:

Vicki the Vixen tripping over a camera bag and her head falling off and rolling down the touchline was pretty funny

 

I bet some poor kids are probably still in treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder after seeing that.

[Bobby Hundreds]

That Huth free kick.

[Bellend Sebastian]

1 hour ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I bet some poor kids are probably still in treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder after seeing that.

I think it probably had more profound long term effects on the "actress" concerned.

 

Possibly a springboard to great things, who knows

[Guest the fox]

[The Quick Brown Fox]

Not funny at the time but when my son was born he wasn't breathing and the midwife grabbed him and shouted "we've got a flat baby" while running out the room with him. My wife high on all the drugs they'd given her turned and looked at me all confused and asked "we've got a black baby". To save her panicking I just said yes. Scary at the time but funny now. 

 

Years ago my wife and I used to keep chickens and had a veg patch, the veg patch was surrounded by a 2 foot wall and the chickens coop was next to it. After finding rat holes I asked my brother to help me move the coop, he turned up all dressed up in brand new gear as he was going out on the lash. 

Watching him place every step carefully to avoid getting any mess on his shoes. The coop was moved I poured half a gallon of petrol down one of the holes (I'd been told this was the most effective way to get rid of rats), I lit a match and threw it down, the whoosh and flame that came out the hole was at least 10 feet high. 

Amused by what I'd seen I asked my brother to fill a hole further down the veg patch as I was going to get my phone to film it. As I come back into the garden I hear a whoosh and see a flame go up my brother, he threw the petrol can and dived face first into the veg patch covering himself and all his new clothes in mud head to toe. I was pissing myself so hard I couldn't ask if he was ok for ages, luckily no injuries apart from a few singed hairs, I can't tell the story without crying with laughter. 

[Parafox]

For me, work related, there are many funny and odd and surprising things I've seen. The best I can think of right now is the guy who tried to impress his girlfriend at one o-clock in the morning by attempting to leap over the "acorn" carving on the end of the bed and landing on it testicles first. He had tears of pain, we had tears of laughter. Of course, we remained professional throughout 

[Parafox]

The one boy in our class in junior school circa 1967 who had seen the "nit nurse" and returned to class with his head shaved and painted purple. (The colour of the insecticide used back then to kill nits)

[Parafox]

My crewmate a few years ago, tucking her uniform trousers into her socks and putting on a fake Australian accent when she was treating a patient. You had to be there, I was helpless. It was like Monty Python