Didn't Happen Of The Year Award 2018

[ealingfox]

Can't remember if we had a thread on this last year - what's your winner? Think official voting is next week 

 

 

 

[Stadt]

Shaking hand and Tom Zanetti for me, Vintage year though this one

[siraaj_lcfc]

This makes my brain hurt.

[surrifox]

I’m feeling bilious just re-reading some of this shite 

[siraaj_lcfc]

 same

[urban.spaceman]

 

This one. About as believable as Jesus. 

[kingcarr21]

Ive read a couple and it just makes me want to gag. Absolute cringe

[ealingfox]

I'm struggling for a top 5 let alone picking a winner. Stolen Calculator is incredible.

[Nalis]

1 hour ago, urban.spaceman said:

 

This one. About as believable as Jesus. 

If thats only one gem then I need to clear my schedule to read the others

[Corky]

The amount of 3 to 6 year olds who are very perceptive about world issues is remarkable.

 

And they seem to share the views of the parents too without any influence.

[RoboFox]

These are probably the same people that fake toddlers' writing and scribble something amusing to idiots in order to post it on social media for likes. 

 

There's no place on the internet for you, you bunch of insufferable potatoes.

 

Now begone, foul liars.

[Buce]

 

You think these are all bollox? Get this:

 

"A couple of years ago, my favourite football team were 5,000/1 to win the league; to be honest, those were very generous odds because they'd never won anything of note before and had spent the majority of the previous season rooted to the bottom spot, only escaping relegation by the skin of their teeth. Then they sacked the manager and replaced him with a serial under-achiever who could barely speak English. On top of all that, he fielded a team of rejects and misfits that cost less than many of our rivals spent on just one player.

 

Well, they only went and won the thing, didn't they? They only lost to two teams all season and the leading goal scorer (who they bought from a non-league side) broke the record for scoring in consecutive games!"

 

The bloody lies some people tell.

[RonnieTodger]

I think Tom Zanetti will win, purely because he's a Z-list celeb.

 

BetVictor will be doing a market on it  

[leicsmac]

24 minutes ago, RoboFox said:

These are probably the same people that fake toddlers' writing and scribble something amusing to idiots in order to post it on social media for likes. 

 

There's no place on the internet for you, you bunch of insufferable potatoes.

 

Now begone, foul liars.

I'd go one step further, and say the "out of the mouths of babes" ones are the kind of people who often fake toddlers writing and scribble something amusing about them being so worldly in order to make themselves look stupid, and so by extension the issue that they're referring to appear stupid too.

[Facecloth]

1 hour ago, Buce said:

 

You think these are all bollox? Get this:

 

"A couple of years ago, my favourite football team were 5,000/1 to win the league; to be honest, those were very generous odds because they'd never won anything of note before and had spent the majority of the previous season rooted to the bottom spot, only escaping relegation by the skin of their teeth. Then they sacked the manager and replaced him with a serial under-achiever who could barely speak English. On top of all that, he fielded a team of rejects and misfits that cost less than many of our rivals spent on just one player.

 

Well, they only went and won the thing, didn't they? They only lost to two teams all season and the leading goal scorer (who they bought from a non-league side) broke the record for scoring in consecutive games!"

 

The bloody lies some people tell.

Oh yeah, some seemingly bullshit stories are true, but clearly some of these are bullshit.

 

The one where the girl went and sat in the wrong car for example might be true, but the handstand god one is clearly bollocks, as is anything where a child has said something profound like commenting on the branding of a tissue box or a mistresspiece, or the referring to the political climate.

[Finnegan]

https://www.reddit.com/r/thatHappened

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/nothingeverhappens

[Corky]

14 minutes ago, Facecloth said:

Oh yeah, some seemingly bullshit stories are true, but clearly some of these are bullshit.

 

The one where the girl went and sat in the wrong car for example might be true, but the handstand god one is clearly bollocks, as is anything where a child has said something profound like commenting on the branding of a tissue box or a mistresspiece, or the referring to the political climate.

It is people who have a petty problem with something, know it's a load of shit but think if they include children in the story it sounds less petty.

[Stadt]

I love it when someone tweets some bollocks and then the replies are hundreds of people pilling in going 

"didnt happen"

 

"DHOTYA 2018"

"Didn't happen"

"Interesting lie"

"Weirdo, didn't happen"

 

Then it's even better then the bullshitter doubles down, that's why the Zanetti one is so precious

[Unabomber]

So funny

[SystonFox]

No idea who Tom anetti is or was before this thread. He offends me so much now. A weapon of the highest order

[Carl the Llama]

Supermarche gets to me:

 

"Good morning Ma'am"

"EXCUSE ME?"

"Good morning Ma'am"

"WHO THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO CALL ME MA'AM, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW YOU ARE PUSHING GENDER STEREOTYPES AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS STRUGGLING WITH THEIR GENDER IDENTITY AT THE MOMENT AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON THEY ALWAYS FEEL SO PERSECUTED"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean anything by i-..."

"W R O N G   A N S W E R   B U D D Y" *Gets the guy fired*

 

[ealingfox]

2 hours ago, Carl the Llama said:

Supermarche gets to me:

 

"Good morning Ma'am"

"EXCUSE ME?"

"Good morning Ma'am"

"WHO THE **** DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO CALL ME MA'AM, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW YOU ARE PUSHING GENDER STEREOTYPES AND ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS IS STRUGGLING WITH THEIR GENDER IDENTITY AT THE MOMENT AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE THE REASON THEY ALWAYS FEEL SO PERSECUTED"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean anything by i-..."

"W R O N G   A N S W E R   B U D D Y" *Gets the guy fired*

 

 

I think that's a dark horse, it really is. I almost punched my monitor reading it the first time. To think they sat and took the time to cook that up, then took it to those lengths. Just for how brazen and calculated the lying is there, it has to be a contender.

[Nalis]

Wow, 32 great entries, I enjoyed reading that comedy gold. Why do people bullshit so much online? I dont get it, there's only about 1, possibly 2 of those which are even remotely plausible.

 

Headstand, Supermarche and Sharks in that order for me. 

 

Brexit braces made me cringe the most, the stocks one in group A made me laugh the most.

 

 

Edited 19 December 2018 by Nalis

[Corky]

"Why were you sacked?"

 

"I called somebody Ma'am"

[Stadt]

I detest “ma’am” anyway, in fact, most Americans can jump in a big biffa bin full of nappies and get in the sea