Stupid things you've done

[deejdeej]

Confession time, the world needs a few laughs. Apologies if there's a similar thread.

 

The idea for this thread came to me because as I was just cooking dinner.

 

I had a saucepan of veg and boiling water in one hand, and a sieve in the other. Thought I'd save a second by pouring the veg into the sieve whilst I was walking to the sink to drain it... obviously ended in me getting extremely hot feet!

 

Also, a few weeks ago I went to walk the dog. Got across the road and down the street a few minutes before I realised I'd left the dog at home. Resulting in a very confused mutt when I walked back in.

[Mickyblueeyes]

5 minutes ago, deejdeej said:

Confession time, the world needs a few laughs. Apologies if there's a similar thread.

 

The idea for this thread came to me because as I was just cooking dinner.

 

I had a saucepan of veg and boiling water in one hand, and a sieve in the other. Thought I'd save a second by pouring the veg into the sieve whilst I was walking to the sink to drain it... obviously ended in me getting extremely hot feet!

 

Also, a few weeks ago I went to walk the dog. Got across the road and down the street a few minutes before I realised I'd left the dog at home. Resulting in a very confused mutt when I walked back in.

That made be burst out laughing - it sounds like me - I once set off to walk my son to school. Left him at home. 

[Benguin]

One of the things I do a lot is take something out the fridge that has a lid, remove the lid, go to put the lid in the bin, end up putting the product in the bin. I do it with yoghurts at least once a well but have done it with all sorts. I never learn. 

[fox_favourite]

8 minutes ago, Benguin said:

One of the things I do a lot is take something out the fridge that has a lid, remove the lid, go to put the lid in the bin, end up putting the product in the bin. I do it with yoghurts at least once a well but have done it with all sorts. I never learn. 

I do similar but with instructions to cooking a meal. Say a chicken dish take the wrapper off, keep tidy by putting it straight in the bin then thinking….errrr how long do it cook it for? 

[Scotch]

When I was in school, sometimes when we had a period to spare in PE we would play softball. Everyone fairly enjoyed it. 

 

One time I was on the pitching side and was guarding first base. I was pre occupied by talking to some of the girls who were out and were stand by the side near by. I was on form that day and they were lapping it up, all of the banter. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the pitch and the batter smashes it. Now it's my time to shine! I'm bringing it home baby! So I take off running. Past second base... on to third, just as I'm leaving third base I notice no-one is moving, they are all just staring at me. That's when I notice the mit on my hand and remember I'm in the pitching team! 

 

Even the teachers took the poss out of me for weeks. Mortified. 

[ealingfox]

I went to the Forest game the other week.

[MPH]

Oh gosh… I wouldn’t even know where to start…

[pSinatra]

When I was about 14, I cycled down the paper shop in the afternoon.  Next day at school, a mate asked if that was my bike he'd seen last night at the shops.  I'd cycled there & walked home.  Needless to say. it wasn't there when I went back nearly 24 hours later.

 

Did the same with the dog.  Walked to the shops with the dog, tied it up & then walked home without it.  Nobody stole the dog, but it had been there for about 3 hours when my my Mum asked "where the fvck's the dog?"

[Izzy]

Got married and had kids

[foxfanazer]

Gave up my season ticket and moved to Norfolk in 2015

[Free Falling Foxes]

Our log burner had been blazing away for a couple of hours when I opened the door to put another log on. I noticed the glass had a little mark on it and proceeded to wipe it off with my finger!

I screamed and cursed as the end of my finger melted and ran to put it under a cold tap. My wife, who had witnessed all this, simply said,  'What did you do that for?'

I shouted back that I didn't do it on purpose. She replied, 'You did, I sat and watched you'

Edited 4 March 2022 by Free Falling Foxes

[The Year Of The Fox]

We took some blue smoke grenades to Watford (h) about 10 years ago on a Friday night. We went 2-0 down and only managed to make it 2-1 

 

Absolutely hammered we went down to a bar/‘club’ in Coalville afterwards, and decided we’d set them off on the dance floor there. The DJ already had his dry ice, so what’s the difference? 
 

Despite the best efforts of my girlfriend persuading us not to do it- we did. 
 

My mate did a runner out the front door of the bar

 

I went out the smoking area and climbed over a fence to the main road to walk home. 
 

The place had been evacuated before I’d even walked home (it was a 5min walk)  
 

They managed to track my friend down on CCTV but he’d already decided to own up in any case. 
 

He was let off with a warning and a £200 fine. Which I went halves with obviously. 
 

The Sgt actually was chuckling as he read the ‘charge’ but told my mate to count himself lucky that nobody in there had CF or any other breathing difficulties. We hadn’t really thought about how much smoke comes out of those things- but to have two go off, indoors- it’s quite a big bar, and blue smoke was absolutely everywhere

 

It was hilarious for all of 5 mins, then obviously realised how incredibly stupid we’d been. It’s funny now too though, 10 years on. 
 

Thankfully no emergency services were called out or anything such like. I don’t think I’d have lived with myself if that had happened 

Edited 4 March 2022 by The Year Of The Fox

[Parafox]

1 hour ago, deejdeej said:

Confession time, the world needs a few laughs. Apologies if there's a similar thread.

 

The idea for this thread came to me because as I was just cooking dinner.

 

I had a saucepan of veg and boiling water in one hand, and a sieve in the other. Thought I'd save a second by pouring the veg into the sieve whilst I was walking to the sink to drain it... obviously ended in me getting extremely hot feet!

 

Also, a few weeks ago I went to walk the dog. Got across the road and down the street a few minutes before I realised I'd left the dog at home. Resulting in a very confused mutt when I walked back in.

So what was on the end of the lead?

[Parafox]

47 minutes ago, pSinatra said:

When I was about 14, I cycled down the paper shop in the afternoon.  Next day at school, a mate asked if that was my bike he'd seen last night at the shops.  I'd cycled there & walked home.  Needless to say. it wasn't there when I went back nearly 24 hours later.

 

Did the same with the dog.  Walked to the shops with the dog, tied it up & then walked home without it.  Nobody stole the dog, but it had been there for about 3 hours when my my Mum asked "where the fvck's the dog?"

Your mum's got a real potty mouth 

[deejdeej]

8 minutes ago, Parafox said:

So what was on the end of the lead?

Not the dog 

[Buzzell]

Asked the Mrs to marry me…

Edited 4 March 2022 by buzzer_b

[pSinatra]

22 minutes ago, Parafox said:

Your mum's got a real potty mouth 

 

Off Netherhall 

[Vacamion]

 

I worked on building sites in the Highfields as a young man between school and college.

 

We were gutting houses to be refurbished.

 

My job was mostly hacking off plaster and ripping out skirting and architraves, filling up skips. No goggles, no masks, a tenner a day.

 

All the copper wiring and pipework from several houses that we were gutting in the same street was put to one side in one of the houses, so it could be weighed in for a bonus for the more senior guys.  

 

I didn't really know about this, I just knew that the copper was to be put to one side.

 

I was left working on my own at the house with the copper piled under the stairs, and a scruffy looking bloke comes around and says "I'm here for the copper".

 

I reply "Err, ok" and he starts taking copper out.

 

Then he asks me to help him load it up outside, so I stop what I'm doing and grab an armful.

 

When I get outside, he has got the metal piled up on an old pram, pulled along on a rope.  

 

I thought it was weird, but I didn't question it.

 

Innocent, green stupid 16 year old me helped this Tinker load up and walk away with what I was told was over £130 of copper on his pull-along pram.

 

I did not win employee of the month.  

 

 

[when_you're_smiling]

Once when drunk I literally tried to ‘shit on the red side of the Trent’.

 

I fell in.

[HybridFox]

Coming out the shower and spraying air freshener over myself instead of deodorant 

 

I was wondering why it was so floral 

[HybridFox]

2 hours ago, foxfanazer said:

Gave up my season ticket and moved to Norfolk in 2015

Feel your pain. I did it before the promotion season to go to uni 

[foxfanazer]

8 minutes ago, TK95 said:

Feel your pain. I did it before the promotion season to go to uni 

Luckily I managed to get to the majority of games that season. Although I had to sit in the Everton end to watch us lift the trophy. A few of them bought me some beers which was nice of them 

[Thefox81]

11 minutes ago, TK95 said:

Coming out the shower and spraying air freshener over myself instead of deodorant 

 

I was wondering why it was so floral 

Done many a times especially if the bathroom is steamed up.

[doverfox]

Attending Bernies funeral on wednesday the 2nd. Having driven from Dover to the crematorium via the club shop just to realise me and my mate Nigel were a week too early. I cant make next week but i think my mate will have a 2nd go at attending. Still it had us in stitches in the car.

[String fellow]

47 minutes ago, TK95 said:

Coming out the shower and spraying air freshener over myself instead of deodorant 

 

I was wondering why it was so floral 

The first time I ever used a shower, I left the bottom of the plastic curtain outside the shower basin to avoid it getting too wet.

Another stupid thing - if I'm worried that a mobile speed camera may have zapped me, I'll go round the block and drive past it again a few minutes later, but much slower!