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Posted

Picture our reveal announcement on Wednesday...

 

A helicopter hovers over a plane flying over the Alps. A figure in jumpsuit, goggles and helmet an "I ❤️ Jon" sticker on it. Behind the figure sits Top, waving to camera, carefully trying not to knock his polo stick over, but with an official looking clipboard in his other hand. And at the controls, Susan Whelan, blonde hair flaring out and billowing from under her helmet.

 

The figure leaps. The camera zooms in... He's not wearing a parachute! Extending his arms and legs, we notice for the first time he's actually wearing a wing-suit. He banks hard to the right and heads for the plane. It's his only hope!

 

Cut to inside the plane. Daka is pouring champange over Wout Faes, but misses. The rest of the team, all in full kit, including studded boots, laugh. "Oh, Patson, you'll get there one day," says Ricky, patting him on the back, "I'm just concerned why we haven't got a manager yet." Suddenly there's a loud thump against the side of the plane.

 

Cut to outside the plane. He's made it! But how can he get in? He tries the passenger door handle, but quite correctly it's locked whilst at this altitude. He hears commotion from inside, the camera pans to one of the windows where we can see Fatawu, Thomas and Justin peering through, terror in their eyes.

 

Suddenly the plane dips and starts into a steep decent. 20,000, 18,000... the mountains loom close... 16,000, 14,000... the figure can be seen clinging on for his life... 13,000, 12,000... the plane is forced to bank into a valley to avoid crashing, the figure loses grip with one hand and flails wildly until the plane levels out at 5,000 ft.

 

Suddenly the door opens. The altitude now allows it to and Mavadidi leans out, held securely by Stolarczyk and grabs the figure, pulling him inside. The door slams securely shut.

 

Inside the plane there is mixture of relief and celebration. The figure is hugging each and everyone and then undies the chinstrap of their helmet. The helmet comes off. It's Marti Cifuentes! Everyone cheers!

 

To the sound of celebrations the camera zooms out. It tracks along the fuselage to the cockpit and zooms in again. We see the pilot whose quick thinking saved the day. It's Jamie Vardy! He raises a can of Red Bull in salutation, his middle finger cheekily extend to grasp it. The plane banks and heads off into the sunset 

 

Fade to black.

  • Haha 3
Posted
1 hour ago, Tuna said:

lol how is this still not done? Absolute banter club.

Maybe it’s not happening.

 

I wouldn’t put it past our lot to fcuk this up. Marti offered to take a pay cut, which some idiots might see as a weakness to further exploit. Maybe we’re trying to take the piss and he’s not accepting. It’s possible.

  • Haha 1
Posted
11 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Picture our reveal announcement on Wednesday...

 

A helicopter hovers over a plane flying over the Alps. A figure in jumpsuit, goggles and helmet an "I ❤️ Jon" sticker on it. Behind the figure sits Top, waving to camera, carefully trying not to knock his polo stick over, but with an official looking clipboard in his other hand. And at the controls, Susan Whelan, blonde hair flaring out and billowing from under her helmet.

 

The figure leaps. The camera zooms in... He's not wearing a parachute! Extending his arms and legs, we notice for the first time he's actually wearing a wing-suit. He banks hard to the right and heads for the plane. It's his only hope!

 

Cut to inside the plane. Daka is pouring champange over Wout Faes, but misses. The rest of the team, all in full kit, including studded boots, laugh. "Oh, Patson, you'll get there one day," says Ricky, patting him on the back, "I'm just concerned why we haven't got a manager yet." Suddenly there's a loud thump against the side of the plane.

 

Cut to outside the plane. He's made it! But how can he get in? He tries the passenger door handle, but quite correctly it's locked whilst at this altitude. He hears commotion from inside, the camera pans to one of the windows where we can see Fatawu, Thomas and Justin peering through, terror in their eyes.

 

Suddenly the plane dips and starts into a steep decent. 20,000, 18,000... the mountains loom close... 16,000, 14,000... the figure can be seen clinging on for his life... 13,000, 12,000... the plane is forced to bank into a valley to avoid crashing, the figure loses grip with one hand and flails wildly until the plane levels out at 5,000 ft.

 

Suddenly the door opens. The altitude now allows it to and Mavadidi leans out, held securely by Stolarczyk and grabs the figure, pulling him inside. The door slams securely shut.

 

Inside the plane there is mixture of relief and celebration. The figure is hugging each and everyone and then undies the chinstrap of their helmet. The helmet comes off. It's Marti Cifuentes! Everyone cheers!

 

To the sound of celebrations the camera zooms out. It tracks along the fuselage to the cockpit and zooms in again. We see the pilot whose quick thinking saved the day. It's Jamie Vardy! He raises a can of Red Bull in salutation, his middle finger cheekily extend to grasp it. The plane banks and heads off into the sunset 

 

Fade to black.

As the plane heads off into the sunset, Rudkin would be peering out sinisterly from under the wing like the end of Big trouble in little China. 

  • Haha 1
Posted
9 minutes ago, Lesta2014 said:

No footage of training or many pics so far this week, wonder if it’s because he’s taking training yet hasn’t been announced yet 

No social media posts made since yesterday afternoon

Posted
14 minutes ago, Lesta2014 said:

No footage of training or many pics so far this week, wonder if it’s because he’s taking training yet hasn’t been announced yet 

Trained yesterday and travelling tomorrow so probably a day off today.

Posted
51 minutes ago, Pliskin said:

If it’s true or not I’m not sure, but I’ve been told the club want to do the kit release before they announce Cifuentes so he can be photographed holding the monstrosity. 

They want a picture of him cuddling Faes?

Posted

Ohhh Marti Cifuentes,
He’s got the Foxes playin’ their best!
Tiki-taka through the rest,
He’s takin’ us back to the Prem!
Ohhh Marti, Marti Cifuentes!

 

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