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Daggers

The joke thread

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When nan died, clearing her house was such fun. Every room, floor to ceiling, with box after box of oxo cubes of every different variety.

We could kill that financial adviser who told her to put all her money into stocks.

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Old bloke goes out shopping on his and buys a nice shiny pair of shoes, comes home and decides to surprise the Mrs by standing stark naked with nothing but his shoes on.
" Notice anything love...."
"What..."
" New shoes, cant you tell my knob's pointing at them......."
" Shame you didn't buy a hat"

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Two wind turbines in a field, one says to the other...

 

"Whats your favourite type of music?"

 

The other one replied "Me..? I'm a huge metal fan"

 

 

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1 hour ago, Milo said:

Two wind turbines in a field, one says to the other...

 

"Whats your favourite type of music?"

 

The other one replied "Me..? I'm a huge metal fan"

 

Image result for oh god gif

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22 minutes ago, woznotwos said:

I applied to the Origami University. Just got a rejection letter. Don't know what to make of it!

I wouldn't get too upset about your rejection. They were having serious cashflow problems. They just folded

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18 hours ago, Izzy said:

I've just been thrown out of Weight Watchers.

 

I accepted the decision with huge grace, because they threw her out as well.

I went to my premature ejaculators meeting today and no one was there, turns out it’s tomorrow.

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6 minutes ago, Benguin said:

I went to my premature ejaculators meeting today and no one was there, turns out it’s tomorrow.

I started laughing before the end of that joke

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53 minutes ago, Benguin said:

I went to my premature ejaculators meeting today and no one was there, turns out it’s tomorrow.

I thought it was going to be everyone had already left as they came early :dunno:

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I felt a bit over dressed when I went to a premature ejaculation meeting. I wore jeans and a t shirt, everyone else came in their pants.

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