TiffToff88 2,195 Report post Posted 6 March 2019 It is believed that Brendan Rodgers's SPFL, Scottish Cup and Scottish League Cup medals are amongst the items stolen from his home in Glasgow. Police fear that the thieves may be planning on melting the medals down and selling them back to Cadburys Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buce 10,765 Report post Posted 7 March 2019 I just pulled up in the driveway to see some thieving bastard run out of our back door and jump over the fence. The missus must have put up a bloody good fight, though - she was half-naked, drenched in sweat and could barely walk. 1 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wortho 915 Report post Posted 7 March 2019 "I'm sorry, " said the doctor when my wife had her scan, "your child will be slow in development and may well grow up to have criminal tendencies. " "Is there anything we can do? " We both asked. "Yes, " replied the doctor, "move away from Liverpool. " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bob Weasel Fox 3,785 Report post Posted 7 March 2019 Employee “Boss, we need to stop testing our products on animals” Boss “Why...hand lotion manufacturers do it all the time ?” Employee “Yes they do Boss, but we make dildos” 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Bear 2,678 Report post Posted 8 March 2019 A man is in a hospital bed, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse", he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?" The nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir." The man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says, "Thanks for that, it was lovely, but listen very, very carefully, "Are-my-test-re-sults-back?" 3 5 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wortho 915 Report post Posted 8 March 2019 I'm going to watch the World Origami Championship on TV tonight. It's on paper view. 1 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tinman 2,073 Report post Posted 8 March 2019 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
woznotwos 763 Report post Posted 8 March 2019 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Parafox 2,133 Report post Posted 8 March 2019 (edited) 8 hours ago, Wortho said: I'm going to watch the World Origami Championship on TV tonight. It's on paper view. I wanted to give you a rep point. The joke nearly creased me but I just folded. Edited 8 March 2019 by Parafox 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Parafox 2,133 Report post Posted 8 March 2019 1 hour ago, woznotwos said: What were you doing in Derby? 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StanSP 19,538 Report post Posted 13 March 2019 This is how you do it @Izzy 1 7 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wortho 915 Report post Posted 13 March 2019 I’ve been recommended the Adam Ant diet. Don’t chew ever, don’t chew ever.... 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bob Weasel Fox 3,785 Report post Posted 14 March 2019 I got the news that my brother had been killed in the Tippex factory where he worked. Surely it had to be a terrible mistake. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bob Weasel Fox 3,785 Report post Posted 14 March 2019 Apparently domestos kills 99% of all known germs. What a load of shite...I've just taken some for my cold and if anything I feel ****in worse! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StanSP 19,538 Report post Posted 14 March 2019 Didn't know where else to put this. Jesus wept. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wolfox 3,623 Report post Posted 14 March 2019 5 minutes ago, StanSP said: Didn't know where else to put this. Jesus wept. WTAF!!!! Is she an Ostrich? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Carl the Llama 8,581 Report post Posted 14 March 2019 5 minutes ago, StanSP said: Didn't know where else to put this. Jesus wept. Did anybody tell her? Or did they not want to address that particular thing in the thing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheLittleBigMan 819 Report post Posted 15 March 2019 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bob Weasel Fox 3,785 Report post Posted 15 March 2019 I've just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing. She’s behind with the washing....... 1 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suzie the Fox 4,862 Report post Posted 15 March 2019 5 hours ago, Bob Weasel Fox said: I've just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing. She’s behind with the washing....... I'm embarrassed to admit - i can relate to this 3 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buce 10,765 Report post Posted 15 March 2019 38 minutes ago, Suzie the Fox said: I'm embarrassed to admit - i can relate to this Don't get @Costock_Fox started again, Suze... 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Costock_Fox 10,137 Report post Posted 15 March 2019 31 minutes ago, Buce said: Don't get @Costock_Fox started again, Suze... What have I done? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buce 10,765 Report post Posted 15 March 2019 18 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said: What have I done? It was only last week you were dreaming about Suzie wearing no knickers, as I recall. 1 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Costock_Fox 10,137 Report post Posted 15 March 2019 12 minutes ago, Buce said: It was only last week you were dreaming about Suzie wearing no knickers, as I recall. Phwooooar. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Wortho 915 Report post Posted 20 March 2019 This bloke said to me "I once got my dog to retrieve a stick from 100 miles away." I said "That’s a bit far-fetched." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
