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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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TiffToff88

TiffToff88

Posted
Posted

It is believed that Brendan Rodgers's SPFL, Scottish Cup and Scottish League Cup medals are amongst the items stolen from his home in Glasgow. Police fear that the thieves may be planning on melting the medals down and selling them back to Cadburys

Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted

 

I just pulled up in the driveway to see some thieving bastard run out of our back door and jump over the fence.

 

The missus must have put up a bloody good fight, though - she was half-naked, drenched in sweat and could barely walk.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Wortho

Wortho

Posted
Posted

"I'm sorry, " said the doctor when my wife had her scan, "your child will be slow in development and may well grow up to have criminal tendencies. "

"Is there anything we can do? " We both asked.

"Yes, " replied the doctor, "move away from Liverpool. "

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Bob Weasel Fox

Bob Weasel Fox

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

Employee “Boss, we need to stop testing our products on animals”
Boss “Why...hand lotion manufacturers do it all the time ?”
Employee “Yes they do Boss, but we make dildos”

  • Haha 5
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The Bear

The Bear

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

A man is in a hospital bed, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. "Nurse", he mumbles. "Are my testicles black?"

 

The nurse raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. She takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir."

 

The man pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says, "Thanks for that, it was lovely, but listen very, very carefully, "Are-my-test-re-sults-back?"

  • Like 3
  • Haha 5
Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, Wortho said:

I'm going to watch the World Origami Championship on TV tonight. It's on paper view.

I wanted to give you a rep point. The joke nearly creased me but I just folded.

Edited by Parafox
  • Like 1
Carl the Llama

Carl the Llama

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, StanSP said:

Didn't know where else to put this. 

 

Jesus wept. 

 

 

 

Did anybody tell her?  Or did they not want to address that particular thing in the thing?

Suzie the Fox

Suzie the Fox

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Bob Weasel Fox said:

I've just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear.

 

This can only mean one thing.

 

She’s behind with the washing.......

I'm embarrassed to admit - i can relate to this :P 

  • Haha 3
Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

What have I done?

 

It was only last week you were dreaming about Suzie wearing no knickers, as I recall. :whistle:

  • Haha 1

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