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James.

Amusing News Stories

By James., in General Chat

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Rincewind

Rincewind

Posted
Posted

Not so much amusing story as a funny statement from DC in PQT. Just saw a clip where Dennis Skinner was asking where mineworkers pension money had gone and DC said 'unlike  the last government we have.....

You are slipping  David. It was you that led  the last government. You cannot keep blaming governments that were in power over ten years ago.

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Captain...

Captain...

Posted
Posted

Racist, but still quite funny:

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-33347866

 

It's not racist, it is image recognition software, it compares your image to thousands of others, and if your image comes back as gorilla, then maybe you have to accept that either the software is wrong, it is classifying dogs as horses, or you look a little bit like a gorilla.

 

There is no racism involved, unless the app suddenly started throwing bananas at her and not letting her sit down on the bus.

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The Doctor

The Doctor

Posted
Posted

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/shaggy-claims-his-music-is-so-emotional-isis-would-stop-beheading-people-if-they-listened-to-it-10370737.html

 


“But right, music evokes emotion. So if they’re listening to Shaggy music or reggae music, they’re not going to want to cut somebody’s head off.”

He then reasons that were Isis to listen to his music – such as his new tune "Go F**k Yourself" – they might quit terrorism all together.

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purpleronnie

purpleronnie

Posted
Posted

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-humber-33509197

 

 

Grimsby Town inflatable shark attack fan convicted
_84254471_shark.jpg Kenneth Meech described the prosecution as a "waste of the taxpayer's money"

A Grimsby Town fan has been found guilty of assaulting a football steward with an inflatable shark.

Kenneth Meech, 51, of Alexandra Road, Cleethorpes, watched his club win 3-1 at Barnet in a Conference game on 21 February.

Willesden Magistrates' Court heard he assaulted Barnet steward Cgagi Gladyng as he celebrated the victory.

Meech, who was among nearly 1,000 fans who travelled to The Hive stadium, denied a charge of common assault.

Mr Gladyng, 59, told the court he was hurt by the inflatable which was being waved "like an axe" and described the three blows to his head "as like being hit by a roll of paper".

 

He said he became frightened as the Grimsby Town fans surged towards the pitch.

'A bit deflated'

Meech was given a 12-month conditional discharge and ordered to pay £700 in costs, compensation of £100 and a victim surcharge.

He was not made the subject of a football banning order.

Speaking after the sentencing, he claimed the prosecution was a "waste of the taxpayer's money".

"I'm a bit deflated, to be honest," he said.

"Very surprised and shocked by the verdict, but got to respect what the court has said.

"I think if this didn't happen at football I wouldn't be here today, I'm sure of that."

 

----------------------------------------------------

 

I think we can all sleep safely knowing the courts are dealing with such serious crimes harshly.

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MPH

MPH

Posted
Posted

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-humber-33509197

 

 

Grimsby Town inflatable shark attack fan convicted
_84254471_shark.jpg Kenneth Meech described the prosecution as a "waste of the taxpayer's money"

A Grimsby Town fan has been found guilty of assaulting a football steward with an inflatable shark.

Kenneth Meech, 51, of Alexandra Road, Cleethorpes, watched his club win 3-1 at Barnet in a Conference game on 21 February.

Willesden Magistrates' Court heard he assaulted Barnet steward Cgagi Gladyng as he celebrated the victory.

Meech, who was among nearly 1,000 fans who travelled to The Hive stadium, denied a charge of common assault.

Mr Gladyng, 59, told the court he was hurt by the inflatable which was being waved "like an axe" and described the three blows to his head "as like being hit by a roll of paper".

 

He said he became frightened as the Grimsby Town fans surged towards the pitch.

'A bit deflated'

Meech was given a 12-month conditional discharge and ordered to pay £700 in costs, compensation of £100 and a victim surcharge.

He was not made the subject of a football banning order.

Speaking after the sentencing, he claimed the prosecution was a "waste of the taxpayer's money".

"I'm a bit deflated, to be honest," he said.

"Very surprised and shocked by the verdict, but got to respect what the court has said.

"I think if this didn't happen at football I wouldn't be here today, I'm sure of that."

 

----------------------------------------------------

 

I think we can all sleep safely knowing the courts are dealing with such serious crimes harshly.

 

 

 

Looks a bit like simon charles

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Jattdogg

Jattdogg

Posted
Posted (edited)

Stupid twat. Im sure the steward wasnt realllllly hurt but this type of idiotic behavior deserves a fine. Maybe he will think twice next time and just shag the shark at home instead. Thats not a crime.

Waste of court time i agree. Maybe he should foot the bill for it seeing as its his dumb fault for being there in the first point.

Edited by Jattdogg
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Rincewind

Rincewind

Posted
Posted

I wonder after he drank some thought I like that I want more.

 

Saw a bloke a while back giving his dog a sip of beer out of his glass. He was going beserk and kept looking up to be given more. TBF the bloke did limit the amount. The dog was shing itself and wagging his tail so obviously enjoyed it.

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