Amusing News Stories

[davieG]

 

Skegness mascot Jolly Fisherman 'should be replaced by fish'

• 4 hours ago
•  
• From the sectionLincolnshire

Peta said the Jolly Fisherman "evokes images of cruelty to animals"

An animal rights group is calling for the Skegness mascot, the Jolly Fisherman, to be replaced with a fish.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta) wants the mascot to be replaced with a modern animal-friendly version.

The group has suggested a fish with the slogan Skegness - A Happy Plaice.

The mayor of Skegness said all suggestions were welcome but said he did not think there would be much support for Jolly to be axed.

The original Jolly Fisherman poster was commissioned by the Great Northern Railway to encourage visitors to take the train on their seaside breaks to Skegness.

The poster featured the slogan "Skegness is so bracing".

It was commissioned in 1908 for 12 guineas and has became synonymous with the Lincolnshire resort.

Skegness has several versions of Jolly, including a statue that is part of a fountain

However, Dawn Carr, of Peta, said Jolly "evokes images of cruelty to animals".

"Fish being tricked into impaling themselves in the mouth, animals being pulled out of the ocean in giant nets where they are so crushed together the pressure pushes their stomachs out through their mouths and their eyes pop out."

"This is what the Jolly Fisherman represents," she said.

She said Peta's suggestion would give the resort an opportunity to rebrand itself as a progressive holiday destination.

"One where the mutilation and killing of sea animals is not being celebrated."

Peta suggested a new mascot with the slogan Skegness, A Happy Plaice

Skegness's mayor, Carl Macey, said the Jolly Fisherman was loved by adults and children alike.

He said: "Animal cruelty is something we don't want to be portrayed for, but I don't feel Jolly has ever come across in that manner.

"He is just accepted as happy and friendly and he does such a wonderful job for Skegness.

"It [Peta's suggestion] will go before council, but if it isn't broken we won't try and fix it."

The Jolly Fisherman has been at the centre of numerous campaigns over the years, including an art exhibition in protest at plans to change its designOne suggested idea for a replacement Jolly at Skegness railway station was likened to a gargoyleJolly has also featured as part of the So Festival, an annual art event which takes place in and around the resort

 

[davieG]

However, Dawn Carr, of Peta, said Jolly "evokes images of cruelty to animals".

 

 

Haven't People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta) got anything more worthwhile to complain about?

[Rincewind]

I heard that Burton are going to rename their slogan to A Hoppy Place.

[Jordan]

Presidential candidate Deez Nuts is at 9% in a recent PPP poll for North Carolina

http://abc11.com/947054/

[davieG]

More ironic than amusing I guess

 

Thieves strip parts from police theft campaign bike

By Ciaranfagan  |  Posted: September 07, 2015

 

Thieves have removed a wheel and the saddle from the bike,.

 

 Comments (0)

Thieves have stolen a wheel and the saddle from a brightly coloured bike which police had placed in the street as part of a campaign to reduce cycle thefts.

The bike, which was painted bright pink, was one of a number left at theft hot-spots across the city centre.

Police believe the eye-catching bikes remind cyclists remind cyclists to be vigilant and warn thieves that they are being watched.

Sgt Andy Cooper, of city centre police, said: "Unfortunately someone has taken parts from one of the bikes to spite us.

 

"They are old bikes which have no monetary value.

"As far as I know, this is the first time we have any parts stolen from the bikes.

"Although the wheel has been removed and the back wheel damaged, the bike is still secure and attached to the cycle rack with a D-lock.

"This was only one of a range of tactics we are employing to tackle cycle thefts in the city centre."

Officers were to remove the damaged cycle yesterday.

Last summer, cycle thefts in the city centre hit a peak, with some months seeing 60 incidents reported to police.

Currently thefts are running between 30 and 40 a month, Sgt Cooper added.

He said: "We have seen a reduction in thefts, but we are still getting between 30 and 40 reports a month."

Officers are urging riders to take basic security measures, such as buying sturdy D-locks and leaving their bikes in secure locations.

In some recent cases, police said the stolen bikes were "secured" with flimsy chains which could be snipped with a pair of garden secateurs.

Police also recommend people park their cycles in more secure areas, such as the Bike Park at Town Hall Square and Leicester railway station.

Other police advice includes urging people to keep good-quality photographs of their bikes and to make a note of features, such as the frame, the saddle and gears.

Valuables, including bikes, can also be registered on a free national database, which helps police return stolen goods to their owners and helps prosecute offenders.

www.immobilise.com

Read more: http://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/Thieves-steal-whee/story-27752062-detail/story.html#ixzz3l55lJAXv 
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[Alf Bentley]

This dates back a bit, so sorry if it's been posted and I missed it....

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/02/15/gerry-adams-trampolines-n_n_6687186.html

 

Gerry Adams trampolines naked with his dog?!   

 

Not sure if that constitutes an amusing new story or a disturbing one.

 

Gerry, call me an old prude, but if that story was meant to humanise Republicanism, I'm not sure it was particularly well-judged.

[Buce]

This dates back a bit, so sorry if it's been posted and I missed it....

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/02/15/gerry-adams-trampolines-n_n_6687186.html

Gerry Adams trampolines naked with his dog?!

Not sure if that constitutes an amusing new story or a disturbing one.

Gerry, call me an old prude, but if that story was meant to humanise Republicanism, I'm not sure it was particularly well-judged.

Bet it was a terrier-ist..

[davieG]

'Rude' place names censored at Harrogate WI fair

• 4 hours ago

•  
• From the sectionYork & North Yorkshire

Image copyrightLesser SpottedImage captionDominic Greyer said he was asked to censor coasters and tea-towels at a Women's Institute event

Wetwang, Cockermouth and Bell End were just some of the place names deemed too rude to be shown at a Women's Institute (WI) event.

Dominic Greyer said organisers of the WI's Centennial Fair in Harrogate asked him to cover up coasters, mugs and tea-towels featuring some of Britain's saucier-named towns and villages.

The author was selling merchandise for his book 'Lesser Spotted Britain' when asked to hide the offending items.

The organisers have yet to comment.

Mr Greyer said he was approached by a male organiser who described some of the promotional material as "unacceptable".

He was asked to put greetings cards in brown paper bags and cover place names with 'censored' stickers.

Image copyrightLesser SpottedImage captionWomen at the event were "gobsmacked" the author had been asked to cover up the items

Mr Greyer said: "It was pretty farcical, it was like I was running an adult shop.

"I had to cover up what on paper seem like rude names but, in context, are real places from around the UK.

"It's just 'Carry On' humour, it's not like you can't drive past these places, they're all out there on the street for people to see."

The writer, from Manchester, said ladies approaching his stall during the event at the weekend were "gobsmacked" by the move and thought it was a marketing gimmick.

"Some of them were pretty put out and thought it was patronising," he added.

The locations deemed 'too rude':

Image copyrightLesser Spotted

Wetwang, East Yorkshire

Cockermouth, Cumbria

Three Cocks, Powys

Twatt, Shetland Islands

Bell End, Northamptonshire

Sandy Balls, Hampshire

Slack Bottom, West Yorkshire

Butts View, Derbyshire

Cocking, Sussex

Bully Hole Bottom, Monmouthshire

Minge Lane, Worcestershire

Assington, Suffolk

Juggs Lane, West Sussex

Furry Way, Cornwall

Rings End, Cambridgeshire

[Wymsey]

Undecided on whether this amusing or just stupid.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-34206537

[Mike Oxlong]

This dates back a bit, so sorry if it's been posted and I missed it....

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/02/15/gerry-adams-trampolines-n_n_6687186.html

 

Gerry Adams trampolines naked with his dog?!   

 

Not sure if that constitutes an amusing new story or a disturbing one.

 

Gerry, call me an old prude, but if that story was meant to humanise Republicanism, I'm not sure it was particularly well-judged.

It was all above board. The dog was fully clothed.

[Carl the Llama]

Undecided on whether this amusing or just stupid.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-34206537

Both.  Lady McSignface is pretty amusing, I know I'd chuckle if I saw that outside someone's door.  The absolute melts who think it's newsworthy - or even worse, an indication of bad parenting and attention seeking - are pretty stupid.

[Rincewind]

Gary Barlow is not the only caller allowed though. There is also the person informing them of a cash win or a death.

Maybe they got fed up of people calling, salesmen Jehovah Witnesses etc. Not really newsworthy though. 

[Alf Bentley]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-34258993

 

Woman who posed as man guilty of sexual assault

 

Gayle Newland, 25, demanded the other woman wear a blindfold when they met, and used a prosthetic penis while carrying out the assaults.

Newland had told jurors the other woman had known she was female, and both of them had been struggling with their sexuality.

She had denied using a blindfold, and said she did not strap bandages to her chest and wear a woollen hat and swimsuit, as the victim had alleged.

But during the four-day trial she did admit to creating a fake Facebook profile in the name Kye Fortune.

Kye initially told her he was not well enough to see her due to being treated for car accident injuries and a brain tumour.

But the pair spoke frequently on the phone, the court heard, and eventually arranged to meet for sex at a hotel on the condition the woman wore a blindfold - because Kye was embarrassed by his scars.

They went on to spend more than 100 hours in each other's company in hotels and the victim's flat, with the assaults taking place between February and June 2013.

The deception was finally uncovered during their final sexual encounter, when the victim removed the blindfold and saw Newland instead of Kye. "In hindsight I wish I had ripped that mask off sooner."

Adjourning the case for sentencing, Judge Roger Dutton said Newland had "serious issues surrounding her personality".

 

Damn right she's got "serious issues surrounding her personality", wearing a woolen hat with a swimsuit..... 

[Bellend Sebastian]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-34258993

Woman who posed as man guilty of sexual assault

Gayle Newland, 25, demanded the other woman wear a blindfold when they met, and used a prosthetic penis while carrying out the assaults.

Newland had told jurors the other woman had known she was female, and both of them had been struggling with their sexuality.

She had denied using a blindfold, and said she did not strap bandages to her chest and wear a woollen hat and swimsuit, as the victim had alleged.

But during the four-day trial she did admit to creating a fake Facebook profile in the name Kye Fortune.

Kye initially told her he was not well enough to see her due to being treated for car accident injuries and a brain tumour.

But the pair spoke frequently on the phone, the court heard, and eventually arranged to meet for sex at a hotel on the condition the woman wore a blindfold - because Kye was embarrassed by his scars.

They went on to spend more than 100 hours in each other's company in hotels and the victim's flat, with the assaults taking place between February and June 2013.

The deception was finally uncovered during their final sexual encounter, when the victim removed the blindfold and saw Newland instead of Kye. "In hindsight I wish I had ripped that mask off sooner."

Adjourning the case for sentencing, Judge Roger Dutton said Newland had "serious issues surrounding her personality".

Damn right she's got "serious issues surrounding her personality", wearing a woolen hat with a swimsuit.....

So tempted to change my username to Kye Fortune.

Having been following this I'm a bit surprised she's been convicted. I mean, as far as her victim is concerned, being a bit naive is one thing, but that's a whole new level of gullibility.

Interesting conversation in prison if she gets sent down, mind.

"What you in for, love?"

"Well, I got my friend to wear a blindfold for months on end so I could pretend to be a seriously ill Asian man called Kye Fortune and shag her with a strap on".

"Oh that's nice".

Anyone else think that Gayle looks a bit like she could be Emma Watson's ugly sister? They've chosen very different paths if so

Edited 16 September 2015 by Bellend Sebastian

[Facecloth]

So this woman is happy to have sex with someone she's never seen before, and doesn't even question it. Anyone know her name?

[RonnieTodger]

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/celtic-write-fans-reminding-wash-6451792 lol the poll at the bottom too 

[ScouseFox]

[Rincewind]

It took him ten years?

[Jattdogg]

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/56016ad2e4b00310edf88c38

[Rincewind]

What  other answer could he give if true? It was a leading question. I would not know what to say.

[The Doctor]

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/single-mum-benefits-stopped-after-6543039?utm_content=buffer36c57&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

 

Woman has benefits stopped for having an affair with a post office - while it's a pretty embarassing mistake for HMRC, just the synopsis makes it quite funny.

[Rincewind]

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/single-mum-benefits-stopped-after-6543039?utm_content=buffer36c57&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

 

Woman has benefits stopped for having an affair with a post office - while it's a pretty embarrassing mistake for HMRC, just the synopsis makes it quite funny.

I saw that but refrained from posting. What is bad about it it cost her £17 while they put her on hold which she could not afford. She has a disabled son and her  only income are her benefits. Why did not the person taking the call say we will check and call you back or even google the name? Do their offices not have PC's? Another thing is if the money was paid from  the PO to her bank account would it not have a reference number associated with it?

These errors are all too often and rectifying mistakes backlogs and compensation costs are rising The staff at HRMC cannot cope and it is the claimant that ends up suffering.

Disagree if you wish.

[Beliall]

http://gawker.com/twitter-comedian-fart-trolls-hln-talks-edward-scissor-1733839308

 

 

comedian trolls a news show, by talking about edward scissorhands instead of edward snowden (video)

[StanSP]

Billing guests cos they missed your wedding . how tight?!

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-34432595

[davieG]

The Sun

 

Pork chopped Call to ban ‘offensive’ sausage rolls from work fridges

•  

   
•  
•  

   

 

By ROBIN PERRIE

 published

15 hours ago

 comments

38

 

'Offensive' ... pork-based snack favourites Handout

BOSSES should ban heating sausage rolls in office microwaves so Muslim or Jewish staff are not offended, a report says.

They should also think about stopping workers storing bacon sarnies in communal fridges for the same reason.

And alcohol could even be banned at corporate parties so Muslims are not offended, according to academic Adam Dinham.

 

The professor of faith at Goldsmiths, University of London, has made the suggestions as part of a plan to encourage workers to respect religious beliefs.

He said: “It would be good etiquette to avoid heating up foods that might be prohibited for people of other faiths.

“The microwaves example is a good one. We also say, don’t put kosher or halal and other special foods next to another food or, God forbid, on the same plate.”

Prof Dinham’s programme will be presented to employers next week by professional services firm EY. Kamran Malik, a partner at EY, said: “Improving religious literacy in the workplace is one of the next big issues.”

Ukip MEP for the North East Jonathan Arnott blasted the proposals. He said: “It’s exactly this kind of nonsense proposal that leads to segregation, misunderstanding and intolerance.”