Depression

[spacemunky]

1 hour ago, KingGTF said:

Quite rapidly losing my head again, can't help but feel I've completely ****ed things and have no way of arresting it. I've never been the type to feel useless and worthless per se; it's similar but just more that I get angry and frustrated at myself for not getting things spot on. Problem is I end up backing myself too much, have some grand vision or something and then just drop off the edge of a cliff (not the best metaphor in here I suppose, sorry). Well I've noticed that creeping in and has now accelerated rapidly in the last week. I just feel a bit lost and alone at this point, even in social situations over the last couple of days I haven't really felt part of something and just drifting into my own world of wondering shit (and then saying it and realising people around me are questioning where the **** that's come from). But also, as soon as I'm back on my own, I just collapse onto my bed and start crying. Tbh I have been suppressing a lot recently which is now getting to me. People around me can't help it (and I can't help feeling frustrated by it) but nobody seems to be able to ask the right questions, or give me anything other than some throwaway attempt at a pick me up or offer any useful help. I'm a difficult person to get stuff out of but I feel people know me even less these days as I'm sure they used to know how to get stuff out of me. If it wasn't for the weather and my room being too damn hot, I feel I'd just hide away and it's getting worrying that I could go back in time to some not nice places.

 

That whole paragraph sums my head up at the moment; a bit of a jumbled up, unsure mess

.

Why do you have to get things spot on? Sounds like you are putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself.

 

Time away from people is fine. Enjoy it.

 

Find something you like doing that takes your mind away from these thoughts.

 

Not everyone is going to "get" you. 

 

Personally, I like being unique. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Izzy]

4 hours ago, KingGTF said:

Quite rapidly losing my head again, can't help but feel I've completely ****ed things and have no way of arresting it. I've never been the type to feel useless and worthless per se; it's similar but just more that I get angry and frustrated at myself for not getting things spot on. Problem is I end up backing myself too much, have some grand vision or something and then just drop off the edge of a cliff (not the best metaphor in here I suppose, sorry). Well I've noticed that creeping in and has now accelerated rapidly in the last week. I just feel a bit lost and alone at this point, even in social situations over the last couple of days I haven't really felt part of something and just drifting into my own world of wondering shit (and then saying it and realising people around me are questioning where the **** that's come from). But also, as soon as I'm back on my own, I just collapse onto my bed and start crying. Tbh I have been suppressing a lot recently which is now getting to me. People around me can't help it (and I can't help feeling frustrated by it) but nobody seems to be able to ask the right questions, or give me anything other than some throwaway attempt at a pick me up or offer any useful help. I'm a difficult person to get stuff out of but I feel people know me even less these days as I'm sure they used to know how to get stuff out of me. If it wasn't for the weather and my room being too damn hot, I feel I'd just hide away and it's getting worrying that I could go back in time to some not nice places.

 

That whole paragraph sums my head up at the moment; a bit of a jumbled up, unsure mess

What are the right questions that you want people to be asking you?

 

 

[Wymsey]

Am quite down today, been told to leave a job due to the company needing other different requirements. Quite out of the blue really.

Been at the company for a few months but started to feel like I had a good bond with the team etc and knew the processes.

On the positive side, as least manager is willing to give a good reference.

Now feel as if I'm nothing, although hope that mentality changes soon.

A weird, uncertain feeling currently.

Edited 11 July 2017 by Wymeswold fox

[Nick]

12 minutes ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Am quite down today, been told to leave a job due to the company needing other different requirements. Quite out of the blue really.

Been at the company for a few months but started to feel like I had a good bond with the team etc and knew the processes.

On the positive side, as least manager is willing to give a good reference.

Now feel as if I'm nothing, although hope that mentality changes soon.

A weird, uncertain feeling currently.

Mornin buddy.

 

The only way not to go down that spiral is to look forward to your last day and think about what opportunities lie ahead.

 

This is essentially an incredibly exciting time. The world is your fuching oyster baby! The 'fit' wasn't right with your current job - they've done you a favour. Go work for or with people that appreciate you...

 

perhaps start a 'blue-sky' ideas list of what you want to do next and then design a few CV's and send them out to places you'd really like to work!

 

Register some alerts with some job sites too and see what's out there...

 

This may well be the twist in your career that turns out to be a real positive in your future.

Edited 11 July 2017 by Nick

[Webbo]

13 minutes ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Am quite down today, been told to leave a job due to the company needing other different requirements. Quite out of the blue really.

Been at the company for a few months but started to feel like I had a good bond with the team etc and knew the processes.

On the positive side, as least manager is willing to give a good reference.

Now feel as if I'm nothing, although hope that mentality changes soon.

A weird, uncertain feeling currently.

These things happen Wymesy, they feel rotten at the time though. You'll bounce back mate.

[Buce]

1 hour ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Am quite down today, been told to leave a job due to the company needing other different requirements. Quite out of the blue really.

Been at the company for a few months but started to feel like I had a good bond with the team etc and knew the processes.

On the positive side, as least manager is willing to give a good reference.

Now feel as if I'm nothing, although hope that mentality changes soon.

A weird, uncertain feeling currently.

 

53 minutes ago, Swan Lesta said:

Mornin buddy.

 

The only way not to go down that spiral is to look forward to your last day and think about what opportunities lie ahead.

 

This is essentially an incredibly exciting time. The world is your fuching oyster baby! The 'fit' wasn't right with your current job - they've done you a favour. Go work for or with people that appreciate you...

 

perhaps start a 'blue-sky' ideas list of what you want to do next and then design a few CV's and send them out to places you'd really like to work!

 

Register some alerts with some job sites too and see what's out there...

 

This may well be the twist in your career that turns out to be a real positive in your future.

 

 This. Very much, this.

[Kopfkino]

6 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

What are the right questions that you want people to be asking you?

 

 

 

I don't know what they are but I know when they're asked they aren't the right questions. I realise I'm difficult but I'm just rubbish at expanding further than exactly what is asked in these situations. I don't expect people to know what to ask, I just wish they could, I wish I felt I could talk to someone.

 

8 hours ago, spacemunky said:

.

Why do you have to get things spot on? Sounds like you are putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself.

 

Time away from people is fine. Enjoy it.

 

Find something you like doing that takes your mind away from these thoughts.

 

Not everyone is going to "get" you. 

 

Personally, I like being unique. 

 

 

 

It's just always been me. I am, as everyone says, harsh on myself. I do put pressure on myself. But I just like things to be right, I don't like getting it wrong. I'm happy to make a mistake but it doesn't stop me having a go at myself in my head. I've kind of ****ed things recently and I'm annoyed at myself for it. Idk.

 

I agree, I do enjoy being unique and the difficulties people might have in understanding what the **** goes on in my head or why I do things I do kind of thing. But sometimes it gets tiring and I just wish I could blend in somewhere for a bit.

 

I'm just a bit whiny at the moment I suppose.

[Carl the Llama]

12 hours ago, KingGTF said:

Quite rapidly losing my head again, can't help but feel I've completely ****ed things and have no way of arresting it. I've never been the type to feel useless and worthless per se; it's similar but just more that I get angry and frustrated at myself for not getting things spot on. Problem is I end up backing myself too much, have some grand vision or something and then just drop off the edge of a cliff (not the best metaphor in here I suppose, sorry). Well I've noticed that creeping in and has now accelerated rapidly in the last week. I just feel a bit lost and alone at this point, even in social situations over the last couple of days I haven't really felt part of something and just drifting into my own world of wondering shit (and then saying it and realising people around me are questioning where the **** that's come from). But also, as soon as I'm back on my own, I just collapse onto my bed and start crying. Tbh I have been suppressing a lot recently which is now getting to me. People around me can't help it (and I can't help feeling frustrated by it) but nobody seems to be able to ask the right questions, or give me anything other than some throwaway attempt at a pick me up or offer any useful help. I'm a difficult person to get stuff out of but I feel people know me even less these days as I'm sure they used to know how to get stuff out of me. If it wasn't for the weather and my room being too damn hot, I feel I'd just hide away and it's getting worrying that I could go back in time to some not nice places.

 

That whole paragraph sums my head up at the moment; a bit of a jumbled up, unsure mess

When you say you feel you've completely fvcked things, what things do you mean?

[Mike Oxlong]

7 hours ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Am quite down today, been told to leave a job due to the company needing other different requirements. Quite out of the blue really.

Been at the company for a few months but started to feel like I had a good bond with the team etc and knew the processes.

On the positive side, as least manager is willing to give a good reference.

Now feel as if I'm nothing, although hope that mentality changes soon.

A weird, uncertain feeling currently.

You must have qualities that got you that job in the first place. Stay positive  

[Kopfkino]

11 hours ago, Carl the Llama said:

When you say you feel you've completely fvcked things, what things do you mean?

 

I mean making the decision to leave uni. I've not even left, I managed to create an option where I can seek other opportunities for a year and if it got tits up then I can return to, do my second year exams next summer and then progress to third year. It seems a really stupid decision now. It's not like I'd have failed, maybe I'd have done sub-optimal in a couple of modules but I'd have still been well on course for 2:1 given the it's done. But I made this decision because uni makes me truly miserable (many many months of solid depression and feeling completely alien to myself), I feel stifled by it and I felt similar would have happened by carrying on the standard graduate train I had been sucked into. I have done the tuition for 2 years and all that still, and I despise a system where a 2:1 on a headed piece of paper supposedly makes someone more competent for a job. I understand why that's the case. So I decided to make a break for it and go and do me, be me, see if I can sell myself to someone to offer me a chance. Just do things differently. So I treated myself to some time off, working more part-time hours so I could still comfortably sustain myself but now it's got to the point when I need to find myself proper full-time employment, the confidence has just drained out of me and my decision now seems like a complete car crash. Yes I will still be able to go back but I still have to sort the next year out even if I did that. But I don't want to do that because now I've convinced myself that I don't want to go back and I despise everything about LSE. I dread the idea of going back in years time because I know how unhappy I will be again, I dread wasting the next year because it will really get into my head. I didn't want to do the uni path in the first place which surprised everyone given my intelligence but then I just took to easy option. Anyway, so basically I backed myself and now I feel stupid for my decision, stupid for ever believing I could do things differently, and stupid for believing the people that backed me.

 

And typing it all out makes me realise I was starting to feel good again and that's why I backed myself. But in doing so, I threw everything up in the air and gave myself uncertainty that will just end up sending me back to difficult places. And now the thoughts of letting everyone around me down persistently populate my thoughts. I am scared that with mum being ill, she will be taken at a time when I'm ****ing around ****ing things up and not see me pushing forward in life. I already have it in my head that was my Grandad's last memory of me and it feels that it will be the same. I don't know why I couldn't just get on with it and get out of the place with the bit of paper and then pursue my grand visions. It just feels like it's not meant to be.

 

 

Reading that back it all sounds embarrassingly pathetic. Knowing the difficulties I've had with my mental health over the last 2 and half years, I don't know why I'm hitting self destruct now when it's not actually completely ****ed. But I am and I can't seem to help the negative thoughts that are slowly consuming anything positive. Anyway I think I might take a break from FT for a while now.

Edited 12 July 2017 by KingGTF

[the fox]

@KingGTF, I truly think that your problem is the fear of letting people around you down and not living up to expectations and that is adding unnecessary pressure. I'm sure your family wants your happiness over everything.

 

I'm in uni too and sometimes I think i'm like a hamster in a running wheel, just running for the sake of running. And that is a very negative way to look at things. We are making progression, its just not in the pace that we want it to be. Just stop looking back and imagining scenarios. Just ask yourself "is beating myself up for things that already happened gonna change the past?". Just stop sitting alone overthinking things! Let bygones be bygones. I used to beat myself up because I had this grand image about how my life was gonna be when I reach 21, and guess what? Its not always sunset and rainbows. Sometimes you get knocked down. Like they say, "that's life!"

 

 

You feel mad that you have to live up to some kind of standard, anything less than that is a failure.

 

You said "I dread the idea of going back in years time because I know how unhappy I will be again, ", so what about in years time you ask yourself "what if I went back to uni and endured a couple more years of uni just like I did before, now I would have a lot higher chance of a sustainable work instead of jumping from job to job". See how that works! No matter what you do, if you keep thinking like that, you will end up miserable for the rest of your life.

 

Beating yourself up won't help you. It's like being in a pool 1 and a half miters deep and  just flapping around afraid of drowning instead of just standing up.

 

Depression is a slippery slop, the more you think about what you did or didn't do, the more you fall down. 

 

I can tell you one thing, this thread will provide as much support as you need, just try and go back few pages and you will find people who have problems a lot worse than yours but felt a lot better about themselves just by venting out. I sometimes think that some people here should start asking for money for how much support they provide, I know Izzy should

[the fox]

And for people under 1 and a half meter, SWIM!

[Carl the Llama]

3 hours ago, KingGTF said:

 

I mean making the decision to leave uni. I've not even left, I managed to create an option where I can seek other opportunities for a year and if it got tits up then I can return to, do my second year exams next summer and then progress to third year. It seems a really stupid decision now. It's not like I'd have failed, maybe I'd have done sub-optimal in a couple of modules but I'd have still been well on course for 2:1 given the it's done. But I made this decision because uni makes me truly miserable (many many months of solid depression and feeling completely alien to myself), I feel stifled by it and I felt similar would have happened by carrying on the standard graduate train I had been sucked into. I have done the tuition for 2 years and all that still, and I despise a system where a 2:1 on a headed piece of paper supposedly makes someone more competent for a job. I understand why that's the case. So I decided to make a break for it and go and do me, be me, see if I can sell myself to someone to offer me a chance. Just do things differently. So I treated myself to some time off, working more part-time hours so I could still comfortably sustain myself but now it's got to the point when I need to find myself proper full-time employment, the confidence has just drained out of me and my decision now seems like a complete car crash. Yes I will still be able to go back but I still have to sort the next year out even if I did that. But I don't want to do that because now I've convinced myself that I don't want to go back and I despise everything about LSE. I dread the idea of going back in years time because I know how unhappy I will be again, I dread wasting the next year because it will really get into my head. I didn't want to do the uni path in the first place which surprised everyone given my intelligence but then I just took to easy option. Anyway, so basically I backed myself and now I feel stupid for my decision, stupid for ever believing I could do things differently, and stupid for believing the people that backed me.

 

And typing it all out makes me realise I was starting to feel good again and that's why I backed myself. But in doing so, I threw everything up in the air and gave myself uncertainty that will just end up sending me back to difficult places. And now the thoughts of letting everyone around me down persistently populate my thoughts. I am scared that with mum being ill, she will be taken at a time when I'm ****ing around ****ing things up and not see me pushing forward in life. I already have it in my head that was my Grandad's last memory of me and it feels that it will be the same. I don't know why I couldn't just get on with it and get out of the place with the bit of paper and then pursue my grand visions. It just feels like it's not meant to be.

 

 

Reading that back it all sounds embarrassingly pathetic. Knowing the difficulties I've had with my mental health over the last 2 and half years, I don't know why I'm hitting self destruct now when it's not actually completely ****ed. But I am and I can't seem to help the negative thoughts that are slowly consuming anything positive. Anyway I think I might take a break from FT for a while now.

Tbh it sounds like you've done exactly the right thing and given yourself a bit of wriggle room to play with while you try to sort your head out.  From how you describe things I gather you have fairly neurotic tendencies and if I'm being honest I reckon that during your time out you'll come to realise that your brain has a habit of finding the negatives regardless of which path you choose - it sounds like a negative outcome but having that notion really sink in will enable you to make more balanced decisions and possibly restore your drive to get through Uni (I fully appreciate that doing so means eventually succumbing once more to that sense of being in limbo that only Uni can provide and unfortunately I never found the secret to dispelling that feeling so I can't help you in that respect).

 

The alternative outcome is that over the next year of being in work you find yourself much happier and more grounded than you expected to be and find yourself grateful that you didn't force your way through something you didn't really have your heart set on.  

I'm not going to tell you not to care what other people think of you because I know how impossible it is to switch those concerns off but you do need to try and find a way of being comfortable making decisions that you want to make and it sounds like you've set yourself up perfectly to have learned how to do so at least to some extent during the course of this year.  I guess what I'm trying to say is you've given yourself a win win scenario so try not to overwork your mind right now and just concentrate on the job hunt, a few months from now things will feel clearer (or equally murky) giving you a better context from which to make the Uni decision.

 

 

 

Oh and don't take a break from FT you cvnt:  Having a group of strangers who you can take the time to type out your thoughts to (and re-word about a thousand times before you hit submit) as opposed to being under the pressure of saying these things to an irl person and finding the right words at the first attempt is a dissociative godsend for anybody struggling with depression, not to mention a great way of getting honest advice from people who have struggled with similar experiences.  In my darkest times I've said things on here that I would never have been able to express to my family, friends or counsellor and in return received honest, better informed advice than the aforementioned could ever provide me.  If I was a psychiatrist I'd prescribe all of my patients a subscription to this place.

[ozleicester]

To those making change (forced or chosen) i feel for you.

Of i can say one thing,  now im old i can look back and pretty confidently say that every change has led to a better life...not always immediately but always better.

 

Stick with things.  Talk to people ☺

[Crinklyfox]

7 hours ago, KingGTF said:

 

I mean making the decision to leave uni. I've not even left, I managed to create an option where I can seek other opportunities for a year and if it got tits up then I can return to, do my second year exams next summer and then progress to third year. It seems a really stupid decision now. It's not like I'd have failed, maybe I'd have done sub-optimal in a couple of modules but I'd have still been well on course for 2:1 given the it's done. But I made this decision because uni makes me truly miserable (many many months of solid depression and feeling completely alien to myself), I feel stifled by it and I felt similar would have happened by carrying on the standard graduate train I had been sucked into. I have done the tuition for 2 years and all that still, and I despise a system where a 2:1 on a headed piece of paper supposedly makes someone more competent for a job. I understand why that's the case. So I decided to make a break for it and go and do me, be me, see if I can sell myself to someone to offer me a chance. Just do things differently. So I treated myself to some time off, working more part-time hours so I could still comfortably sustain myself but now it's got to the point when I need to find myself proper full-time employment, the confidence has just drained out of me and my decision now seems like a complete car crash. Yes I will still be able to go back but I still have to sort the next year out even if I did that. But I don't want to do that because now I've convinced myself that I don't want to go back and I despise everything about LSE. I dread the idea of going back in years time because I know how unhappy I will be again, I dread wasting the next year because it will really get into my head. I didn't want to do the uni path in the first place which surprised everyone given my intelligence but then I just took to easy option. Anyway, so basically I backed myself and now I feel stupid for my decision, stupid for ever believing I could do things differently, and stupid for believing the people that backed me.

 

And typing it all out makes me realise I was starting to feel good again and that's why I backed myself. But in doing so, I threw everything up in the air and gave myself uncertainty that will just end up sending me back to difficult places. And now the thoughts of letting everyone around me down persistently populate my thoughts. I am scared that with mum being ill, she will be taken at a time when I'm ****ing around ****ing things up and not see me pushing forward in life. I already have it in my head that was my Grandad's last memory of me and it feels that it will be the same. I don't know why I couldn't just get on with it and get out of the place with the bit of paper and then pursue my grand visions. It just feels like it's not meant to be.

 

 

Reading that back it all sounds embarrassingly pathetic. Knowing the difficulties I've had with my mental health over the last 2 and half years, I don't know why I'm hitting self destruct now when it's not actually completely ****ed. But I am and I can't seem to help the negative thoughts that are slowly consuming anything positive. Anyway I think I might take a break from FT for a while now.

Uni was a long time ago for me but it was a pressurised environment and without the support network of good friends I probably wouldn't have made it.  In fact I had two attempts at a degree, the first in a course I felt railroaded into from school where I was pretty unhappy and the second after I'd taken a year out to get myself right which was a much better experience.  What I'm trying to say is just because you haven't felt good at uni so far doesn't mean you never will, but you're right to take time out because it made you unhappy.

 

You seem to demand high standards of yourself - nothing wrong with that, if you don't aim for the top you won't make it.  But the reality is that you're human and you won't always achieve what you want.  The trick is to accept that and take the downs as an integral part of life.  If you kill yourself mentally for every little 'failure' to achieve everything you want at the first opportunity then you'll just make your life a misery.  Ask yourself, if you had a friend that was going through exactly the same issues as yourself, would you be critical of them?  Highly doubtful, you'd probably praise them for their efforts and encourage them to keep their spirits up.  That little voice in your head that tells you that you're failing needs to be kicked into touch by a sharp dose of perspective.  I'm speaking as one who has had his own nasty little voice that told him he wasn't good enough.  A sharp dose of cognitive therapy has done for him now, and I feel much happier about what I've done with my life.  

 

Cognitive therapy can help put the negatives into perspective with the positives in life, if you haven't tried it there are a load a books out there and you don't even have to visit a GP to feel better.

[Nick]

8 hours ago, KingGTF said:

 

I mean making the decision to leave uni. I've not even left, I managed to create an option where I can seek other opportunities for a year and if it got tits up then I can return to, do my second year exams next summer and then progress to third year. It seems a really stupid decision now. It's not like I'd have failed, maybe I'd have done sub-optimal in a couple of modules but I'd have still been well on course for 2:1 given the it's done. But I made this decision because uni makes me truly miserable (many many months of solid depression and feeling completely alien to myself), I feel stifled by it and I felt similar would have happened by carrying on the standard graduate train I had been sucked into. I have done the tuition for 2 years and all that still, and I despise a system where a 2:1 on a headed piece of paper supposedly makes someone more competent for a job. I understand why that's the case. So I decided to make a break for it and go and do me, be me, see if I can sell myself to someone to offer me a chance. Just do things differently. So I treated myself to some time off, working more part-time hours so I could still comfortably sustain myself but now it's got to the point when I need to find myself proper full-time employment, the confidence has just drained out of me and my decision now seems like a complete car crash. Yes I will still be able to go back but I still have to sort the next year out even if I did that. But I don't want to do that because now I've convinced myself that I don't want to go back and I despise everything about LSE. I dread the idea of going back in years time because I know how unhappy I will be again, I dread wasting the next year because it will really get into my head. I didn't want to do the uni path in the first place which surprised everyone given my intelligence but then I just took to easy option. Anyway, so basically I backed myself and now I feel stupid for my decision, stupid for ever believing I could do things differently, and stupid for believing the people that backed me.

 

And typing it all out makes me realise I was starting to feel good again and that's why I backed myself. But in doing so, I threw everything up in the air and gave myself uncertainty that will just end up sending me back to difficult places. And now the thoughts of letting everyone around me down persistently populate my thoughts. I am scared that with mum being ill, she will be taken at a time when I'm ****ing around ****ing things up and not see me pushing forward in life. I already have it in my head that was my Grandad's last memory of me and it feels that it will be the same. I don't know why I couldn't just get on with it and get out of the place with the bit of paper and then pursue my grand visions. It just feels like it's not meant to be.

 

 

Reading that back it all sounds embarrassingly pathetic. Knowing the difficulties I've had with my mental health over the last 2 and half years, I don't know why I'm hitting self destruct now when it's not actually completely ****ed. But I am and I can't seem to help the negative thoughts that are slowly consuming anything positive. Anyway I think I might take a break from FT for a while now.

How about putting some roots down somewhere else and transferring course to a different Uni - new people, new places new friends? Just an idea. I've spent over a decade working in Uni's and I often get students in differing circumstances enter the course in Year 2 having done a first year at some other Uni they didn't get on with...

[ozleicester]

4 hours ago, Carl the Llama said:

Tbh it sounds like you've done exactly the right thing and given yourself a bit of wriggle room to play with while you try to sort your head out.  From how you describe things I gather you have fairly neurotic tendencies and if I'm being honest I reckon that during your time out you'll come to realise that your brain has a habit of finding the negatives regardless of which path you choose - it sounds like a negative outcome but having that notion really sink in will enable you to make more balanced decisions and possibly restore your drive to get through Uni (I fully appreciate that doing so means eventually succumbing once more to that sense of being in limbo that only Uni can provide and unfortunately I never found the secret to dispelling that feeling so I can't help you in that respect).

 

The alternative outcome is that over the next year of being in work you find yourself much happier and more grounded than you expected to be and find yourself grateful that you didn't force your way through something you didn't really have your heart set on.  

I'm not going to tell you not to care what other people think of you because I know how impossible it is to switch those concerns off but you do need to try and find a way of being comfortable making decisions that you want to make and it sounds like you've set yourself up perfectly to have learned how to do so at least to some extent during the course of this year.  I guess what I'm trying to say is you've given yourself a win win scenario so try not to overwork your mind right now and just concentrate on the job hunt, a few months from now things will feel clearer (or equally murky) giving you a better context from which to make the Uni decision.

 

 

 

Oh and don't take a break from FT you cvnt:  Having a group of strangers who you can take the time to type out your thoughts to (and re-word about a thousand times before you hit submit) as opposed to being under the pressure of saying these things to an irl person and finding the right words at the first attempt is a dissociative godsend for anybody struggling with depression, not to mention a great way of getting honest advice from people who have struggled with similar experiences.  In my darkest times I've said things on here that I would never have been able to express to my family, friends or counsellor and in return received honest, better informed advice than the aforementioned could ever provide me.  If I was a psychiatrist I'd prescribe all of my patients a subscription to this place.

Perfect business plan there...:)

[sylofox]

Well if life was not bad enough before. I'm layed up at home in severe pain after getting home yesterday. The week laid up in hospital seemed great being smashed on morphine whenever I wanted it. But they don't send morphine home with you. 

 

Loads of pills though if I could jump up and down I'd sound like a tube of smarties. The moral of this story is don't run across the road trip and break your hip bone.

[Nick]

6 minutes ago, sylofox said:

Well if life was not bad enough before. I'm layed up at home in severe pain after getting home yesterday. The week laid up in hospital seemed great being smashed on morphine whenever I wanted it. But they don't send morphine home with you. 

 

Loads of pills though if I could jump up and down I'd sound like a tube of smarties. The moral of this story is don't run across the road trip and break your hip bone.

Yeah, don't do that.

 

Codeine Phosphate should take the pain away nicely though buddy - though also the ability to go for a poo.

 

Swings and roundabouts (avoid these too for a bit).

[sylofox]

1 minute ago, Swan Lesta said:

Yeah, don't do that.

 

Codeine Phosphate should take the pain away nicely though buddy - though also the ability to go for a poo.

 

Swings and roundabouts (avoid these too for a bit).

I got Tramadol plus some other stuff and laxatives.

 

 

[Nick]

17 minutes ago, sylofox said:

I got Tramadol plus some other stuff and laxatives.

 

 

I got knocked off my bike when I was a teenager by a hit and run driver... landed on the roof of a car behind who was also overtaking - I can't feel most of my left hip... Luckily it didn't break though - still remember it hurting a lot though!

 

I feel your pain buddy - all I can say is no matter what - do the physio or it'll be a little bit crap forever.

[Col city fan]

36 minutes ago, sylofox said:

Well if life was not bad enough before. I'm layed up at home in severe pain after getting home yesterday. The week laid up in hospital seemed great being smashed on morphine whenever I wanted it. But they don't send morphine home with you. 

 

Loads of pills though if I could jump up and down I'd sound like a tube of smarties. The moral of this story is don't run across the road trip and break your hip bone.

Fook sake mi old mate! Be careful if you take tramadol. It's bloody good stuff but will make you very drowsy until you learn to tolerate it.

If you take Codeine, watch the constipation. That will make you feel rotten.

Keep your chin up, give us a bell if you need to.

[Nick]

7 minutes ago, Col city fan said:

give us a bell if you need to.

 

 

 

 

[sylofox]

The best bit was coming round after the Op seems I lost about ten years. I did not recognise my Mrs but that was not too bad as she is fit.

 

Then she asked if I remembered Leicester winning the prem.

With that it appears I told the hospital staff to throw the fvcking Looney out and get the police

 

Should this have its own topic?

[Col city fan]

18 minutes ago, Swan Lesta said:

 

 

 

 

Oh shut up Nick..