Depression

[ozleicester]

51 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

Paranoia is a shitter.

Cant imagine... can only guess its totally awful, sorry you suffer hope you get through it ok.

[HybridFox]

4 hours ago, Finnegan said:

Paranoia is a shitter.

Sorry to hear that mate, I know how it feels and it's a horrible thing to go through.

 

If you ever need to talk about anything, don't hesitate 

[Izzy]

10 hours ago, Finnegan said:

Paranoia is a shitter.

I've only suffered from paranoia for a short period of time back in the early 90's when experimenting with LSD. 

 

It was fvckin horrendous and put me off illegal drugs for life - I still have 'flash backs' 25 years on..

 

But I can't imagine feeling paranoid under 'normal' circumstances or without it being drug related. I wonder how long you've had it and what if anything brings it on?

 

I'm guessing it can be treated with CBT and I'm sure everyone on this thread would advise you to see your GP if you haven't already.

 

I'll reel off my standard response that "our thoughts are not always to be trusted" but don't listen to me because I don't take my own advice 

 

[Crinklyfox]

21 hours ago, Finnegan said:

Paranoia is a shitter.

Paranoia is terrible, it affects not only the sufferer but those around them who have to deal with the twisted outlook of the sufferer.  If the person suffering from paranoia recognises it as such that's a great help as that person will be more receptive to medical treatment.  It's when the paranoid individual doesn't recognise the condition and views attempts to help with suspicion that things can be much worse.  I have known the relatives of a paranoid person be offered prescription drugs to help them with the stresses brought on by the paranoid person.  As such, it may be useful for the family of the person suffering from paranoia to seek medical advice even if the person them self will not.

[Crinklyfox]

10 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I've only suffered from paranoia for a short period of time back in the early 90's when experimenting with LSD. 

 

It was fvckin horrendous and put me off illegal drugs for life - I still have 'flash backs' 25 years on..

 

But I can't imagine feeling paranoid under 'normal' circumstances or without it being drug related. I wonder how long you've had it and what if anything brings it on?

 

I'm guessing it can be treated with CBT and I'm sure everyone on this thread would advise you to see your GP if you haven't already.

 

I'll reel off my standard response that "our thoughts are not always to be trusted" but don't listen to me because I don't take my own advice 

 

I have limited experience with paranoia and thankfully have not suffered it myself.  I do, however, know someone who has suffered from paranoia.  That person wasn't a user of non-prescription drugs.  The paranoia they suffered from was episodic, they could be OK for years and then have a period of paranoia which lasted many months.  

 

There are experts out there who know a lot more about paranoia than I do so I wholly agree with your advice that medical help should be sought.

[ajthefox]

Struggling atm.

 

I really want to speak to a professional but I'm having real trouble even vocalising everything to one of my best friends, never mind a reception worker at a health centre I've never been to down the end of a phone. Not sure how to deal with this.

[Buce]

1 minute ago, ajthefox said:

Struggling atm.

 

I really want to speak to a professional but I'm having real trouble even vocalising everything to one of my best friends, never mind a reception worker at a health centre I've never been to down the end of a phone. Not sure how to deal with this.

 

Do you have someone who could make the appointment on your behalf?

[Izzy]

32 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

Struggling atm.

 

I really want to speak to a professional but I'm having real trouble even vocalising everything to one of my best friends, never mind a reception worker at a health centre I've never been to down the end of a phone. Not sure how to deal with this.

Sorry to hear you're struggling mate.

 

Have you been to see your GP yet? I'm not sure what your relationship is like with him/her, but they should be able to help and refer you on to the right professional.

 

I know it's not easy to speak about this stuff down the phone and I always found it best to talk 'face to face'. FWIW I couldn't talk to my best friends and only truly opened up about my struggles to a complete stranger. I preferred this as there was no judgement or advice, just someone who listened to me pour my heart out.

 

The first step is the hardest but once you've taken it, I'm sure you'll be glad that you've started the process of getting help. Fingers crossed for you mate. Thinking of you...

 

 

[RobHawk]

58 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

Struggling atm.

 

I really want to speak to a professional but I'm having real trouble even vocalising everything to one of my best friends, never mind a reception worker at a health centre I've never been to down the end of a phone. Not sure how to deal with this.

Sorry to hear that dude. 

 

A good way of trying to get over that initial difficulty of putting how you feel into words can be just to write it down, its still hard but much more personal and a great first step. 

 

Also, check this out: https://www.yorkmind.org.uk/our-services/ They have an email address if you find it easier to rite than say too! 

 

[act smiley]

1 hour ago, ajthefox said:

Struggling atm.

 

I really want to speak to a professional but I'm having real trouble even vocalising everything to one of my best friends, never mind a reception worker at a health centre I've never been to down the end of a phone. Not sure how to deal with this.

Have you considered seeing your GP? As you can normally book an appointment without saying what it's about. And then you'd be in a position where you'd be able to talk to someone face to face. They'd probably refer you to specialist services but I found it very helpful for being able to put it all into words and a good place to begin.

[Milo]

1 hour ago, ajthefox said:

Struggling atm.

 

I really want to speak to a professional but I'm having real trouble even vocalising everything to one of my best friends, never mind a reception worker at a health centre I've never been to down the end of a phone. Not sure how to deal with this

Don't suffer in silence - as said above, a quick chat with your GP could make the world of difference. I think the fear of opening up to someone (and/or not being able to) is far worse than the reality of actually doing it. I have a couple of mates who struggle with depression - ones on meds to rebalance the brain chemicals and one just chats...and both have the attitude of "if I have toothache, I go to the dentist"/"if my boiler is broken, I call a plumber" so why wouldn't they seek professional help for depression? They really don't see it as a huge deal and I know for a fact that both would recommend a GP visit for anyone who is struggling, and then take it from there. 

 

I'm relatively new to posting here, but been a lurker for a while (!) and I think the support system on here and the genuine goodwill of the people here is amazing.

 

[Crinklyfox]

10 hours ago, ajthefox said:

Struggling atm.

 

I really want to speak to a professional but I'm having real trouble even vocalising everything to one of my best friends, never mind a reception worker at a health centre I've never been to down the end of a phone. Not sure how to deal with this.

The job of the reception worker at the health centre is to help you.  Firstly they have to assess your needs then provide you with an appointment with a practitioner.  How you appear to them will depend on the urgency of your appointment.  The line between struggling and just coping and not coping at all can be thin, it only takes a negative experience or two to push you further down so please don't delay, make that call and impress the vulnerability of your situation on the reception worker so they they get you seen as soon as possible.

[ajthefox]

Thanks for the advice gents, much appreciated.

[Buce]

9 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

Thanks for the advice gents, much appreciated.

 

Are things any better, mate?

[ajthefox]

Yes thanks @Buce, today was a really enjoyable day and I've got a weekend away with friends planned. Going to seek some help for the future in the week though.

[Man Of Faith]

Hi all, Sorry to hear so many people struggling. Not posted on here for a while. It still feels never ending to me, went to see my GP way back in January and feel no better. In 7 months all that's happened is they have given me meds, which are just a sticking plaster for it all. Only just started CBT and I'm not sure it can help me. Feel so alone, such a let down to all my friends and family and I genuinely see no way of it all getting better. Whichever scenario I see this all going, I see no happy ending. Unfortunately I can't offer an uplifting 'things will get better' post, hence the reason I don't post. I genuinely hope things improve quicker and more successfully than it appears to be for me

 

[spacemunky]

1 hour ago, Man Of Faith said:

Hi all, Sorry to hear so many people struggling. Not posted on here for a while. It still feels never ending to me, went to see my GP way back in January and feel no better. In 7 months all that's happened is they have given me meds, which are just a sticking plaster for it all. Only just started CBT and I'm not sure it can help me. Feel so alone, such a let down to all my friends and family and I genuinely see no way of it all getting better. Whichever scenario I see this all going, I see no happy ending. Unfortunately I can't offer an uplifting 'things will get better' post, hence the reason I don't post. I genuinely hope things improve quicker and more successfully than it appears to be for me

 

 Don't let that be the reason you don't post. I don't think this thread is about how great everyone is doing. Just a place to say how you feel.

 

We're not all dealt with the same hand. Some of us need a little extra help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Buce]

12 hours ago, ajthefox said:

Yes thanks @Buce, today was a really enjoyable day and I've got a weekend away with friends planned. Going to seek some help for the future in the week though.

 

Good to hear it, mate.

[Buce]

9 hours ago, Man Of Faith said:

Hi all, Sorry to hear so many people struggling. Not posted on here for a while. It still feels never ending to me, went to see my GP way back in January and feel no better. In 7 months all that's happened is they have given me meds, which are just a sticking plaster for it all. Only just started CBT and I'm not sure it can help me. Feel so alone, such a let down to all my friends and family and I genuinely see no way of it all getting better. Whichever scenario I see this all going, I see no happy ending. Unfortunately I can't offer an uplifting 'things will get better' post, hence the reason I don't post. I genuinely hope things improve quicker and more successfully than it appears to be for me

 

 

Firstly, mate, please don't think you have to offer an uplifting post; most of us that post on here have been where you are at one time or another (me included), so we can empathise with what you're going through. This thread has morphed into a mutual support group, and I promise you no one is going to judge you.

 

Are you keeping in touch with your GP? There are loads of different meds out there, and sometimes it requires trying a few different ones until you get the right fit. They won't solve all your problems, but when they work they give you the breathing space to address whatever your problems are. Please also try to remember that the feelings of hopelessness and despair are coming from your illness (because that's what it is - an illness; you are not inherently bad or useless, or a let down to your friends and family) - I'd like you to take a leap of faith and trust me on that.

 

I don't know if CBT will help you (Izzy knows more than I do about that, I think - I'm sure he'll be along at some stage to give his valuable insight) but again, that's not your only option; you could ask your GP to refer you to a psychotherapist, who will investigate the root cause of your illness at a greater depth. There is - inevitably - a waiting list for that kind of help, so the sooner you get the ball rolling on that, the better.

 

If you think it would help you to offload on here, please do it. We all care.

 

You are not alone.

 

[Izzy]

15 hours ago, Man Of Faith said:

Hi all, Sorry to hear so many people struggling. Not posted on here for a while. It still feels never ending to me, went to see my GP way back in January and feel no better. In 7 months all that's happened is they have given me meds, which are just a sticking plaster for it all. Only just started CBT and I'm not sure it can help me. Feel so alone, such a let down to all my friends and family and I genuinely see no way of it all getting better. Whichever scenario I see this all going, I see no happy ending. Unfortunately I can't offer an uplifting 'things will get better' post, hence the reason I don't post. I genuinely hope things improve quicker and more successfully than it appears to be for me

 

 

6 hours ago, Buce said:

 

Firstly, mate, please don't think you have to offer an uplifting post; most of us that post on here have been where you are at one time or another (me included), so we can empathise with what you're going through. This thread has morphed into a mutual support group, and I promise you no one is going to judge you.

 

Are you keeping in touch with your GP? There are loads of different meds out there, and sometimes it requires trying a few different ones until you get the right fit. They won't solve all your problems, but when they work they give you the breathing space to address whatever your problems are. Please also try to remember that the feelings of hopelessness and despair are coming from your illness (because that's what it is - an illness; you are not inherently bad or useless, or a let down to your friends and family) - I'd like you to take a leap of faith and trust me on that.

 

I don't know if CBT will help you (Izzy knows more than I do about that, I think - I'm sure he'll be along at some stage to give his valuable insight) but again, that's not your only option; you could ask your GP to refer you to a psychotherapist, who will investigate the root cause of your illness at a greater depth. There is - inevitably - a waiting list for that kind of help, so the sooner you get the ball rolling on that, the better.

 

If you think it would help you to offload on here, please do it. We all care.

 

You are not alone.

 

That's a great post @Buce.

I haven't really got any more valuable insight to add apart from the fact I'm a big fan of CBT and believe wholeheartedly in it's benefits.

 

@Man Of Faith; I've been exactly where you are, as have many on this thread. I'm still struggling with life but the combination of going back on the meds along with starting therapy again is definitely helping right now.

 

I know it's sounds daft, but posting on FT helps me get through the day. After all these years I still find it difficult to confide in friends and family and they've no idea what I'm going through really.

 

So I hide behind my keyboard and chat shit on here instead. With a bunch of strangers that I've never met - because it's easier.

 

Looking at the phunny pictures and jokes thread lifts my mood and the relentless banter in Gen Chat keeps me entertained.

 

Even if you don't post on this thread, maybe try posting on other threads if you've got the time? I'm sure you've got loads to offer and lots of insights worth sharing about City and all sorts. You may find the interaction with other like minded people helps you to feel better, and you may even learn some cool stuff in the process.

 

Like Buce said, you're not alone. Come and hang out with us idiots a bit more on here and get involved mate. Who knows, it just might help... 

 

 

 

[DJ Barry Hammond]

16 hours ago, Man Of Faith said:

Hi all, Sorry to hear so many people struggling. Not posted on here for a while. It still feels never ending to me, went to see my GP way back in January and feel no better. In 7 months all that's happened is they have given me meds, which are just a sticking plaster for it all. Only just started CBT and I'm not sure it can help me. Feel so alone, such a let down to all my friends and family and I genuinely see no way of it all getting better. Whichever scenario I see this all going, I see no happy ending. Unfortunately I can't offer an uplifting 'things will get better' post, hence the reason I don't post. I genuinely hope things improve quicker and more successfully than it appears to be for me

 

 

The fact you have posted is a good sign - it shows fight, a desire for things to improve and that's a key driver for improving things.

 

The other thing to remember is all of us looking in on this thread have been where you are - we know how horrible it is so we won't judge, only try to support.

 

As for suggestions to help - I see you've already had some excellent responses so wouldn't want to cloud your mind too much, but one of your comments about pills echoed my sentiments about them when doctors were trying to convince me to keep trying that route.

 

However, I was well aware my depression was more 'situational' and that no amount of pills would lift me out of the hole I was in. What I needed was a plan to better things, something that felt achievable, even if it might be daunting and seem a long road to take at that point.

 

I feel fortunate I was reasonably self aware of this fact, because it eventually allowed me to take control of my treatment and search for help to aid me on the way to that plan.

 

Help for depression is frustrating in the sense that the pills route is readily available and easy to come by - yet the arguably more effective talking threapies (like CBT) and other practical life help (like residential care) is rationed (or horrible) and almost impossible to come by. 

 

But if you can take control of your treatment, build a plan and express what you feel you need to your GP - i'm certain this will set you on the right path.

 

Finally - don't feel ashamed by the numerous responses, you are worth all the help people are willing to give ?

 

Al

 

[foxfanazer]

Had the day from hell and even though I've been alright recently, those same old feelings come flooding back. Feel really stressed and worthless and under a lot of pressure. 

 

Hoping it's just a blip caused by me being knackered! 

[Buce]

5 minutes ago, foxfanazer said:

Had the day from hell and even though I've been alright recently, those same old feelings come flooding back. Feel really stressed and worthless and under a lot of pressure. 

 

Hoping it's just a blip caused by me being knackered! 

 

Stress is a killer, mate, and the hormones released are well documented as a cause for depression.

 

Try and find some down-time.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201301/cortisol-why-the-stress-hormone-is-public-enemy-no-1

[Steven]

14 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

 

Looking at the phunny pictures and jokes thread lifts my mood and the relentless banter in Gen Chat keeps me entertained.

 

Fvck me you are in a bad way if MattP's endless right wing propaganda keeps you entertained.   

[Kopfkino]

Quite rapidly losing my head again, can't help but feel I've completely ****ed things and have no way of arresting it. I've never been the type to feel useless and worthless per se; it's similar but just more that I get angry and frustrated at myself for not getting things spot on. Problem is I end up backing myself too much, have some grand vision or something and then just drop off the edge of a cliff (not the best metaphor in here I suppose, sorry). Well I've noticed that creeping in and has now accelerated rapidly in the last week. I just feel a bit lost and alone at this point, even in social situations over the last couple of days I haven't really felt part of something and just drifting into my own world of wondering shit (and then saying it and realising people around me are questioning where the **** that's come from). But also, as soon as I'm back on my own, I just collapse onto my bed and start crying. Tbh I have been suppressing a lot recently which is now getting to me. People around me can't help it (and I can't help feeling frustrated by it) but nobody seems to be able to ask the right questions, or give me anything other than some throwaway attempt at a pick me up or offer any useful help. I'm a difficult person to get stuff out of but I feel people know me even less these days as I'm sure they used to know how to get stuff out of me. If it wasn't for the weather and my room being too damn hot, I feel I'd just hide away and it's getting worrying that I could go back in time to some not nice places.

 

That whole paragraph sums my head up at the moment; a bit of a jumbled up, unsure mess