The joke thread

[Carl the Llama]

Just now, Parafox said:

Stale

Are you sure?  Moldy would have made more sense.

 

[Parafox]

4 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

Are you sure?  Moldy would have made more sense.

 

Yeah. it could be both actually.

th

[Carl the Llama]

10 minutes ago, Parafox said:

Yeah. it could be both actually.

th

Could it?  I was just being a difficult cvnt 

[Tielemans63]

Why are North Koreans brilliant at drawing straight lines?

 

 

Because they have a Supreme Ruler 

Edited 14 August 2017 by Paddy.

[RODNEY FERNIO]

The Aston Villa forum , Villa Talk, has got a thread entitled the charge for promotion.

Made me giggle anyway.

[ajthefox]

On 14/08/2017 at 00:48, Carl the Llama said:

Could it?  I was just being a difficult cvnt 

Tell us something we don't know.... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

......

Edited 15 August 2017 by ajthefox

[Carl the Llama]

5 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

Tell us something we don't know.... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

......

Dogs can't look up.

[Beliall]

9 hours ago, Carl the Llama said:

Dogs can't look up.

Yes they can, and the rifle behind the bar works

[Durnerz]

The man who wrote the hokey-cokey had his funeral yesterday

They tried to get his left leg into the coffin and that's when the trouble started

[Trav Le Bleu]

I used to be addicted to hokey-cokey, but I've turned it around and that's what it's all about.

[Izzy]

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all stood watching a street performer doing some excellent juggling.

 

The juggler notices that the four men have a very poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out "Can you all see me now?"

 

And they replied...

 

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Si"

"Ja"

 

[Beliall]

14 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all stood watching a street performer doing some excellent juggling.

 

The juggler notices that the four men have a very poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out "Can you all see me now?"

 

And they replied...

 

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Si"

"Ja"

 

@Izzy Muzzett 

[Filbert_Ross]

I'm sure there's a bouncy castle inside our local mosque. Every time I go past there is loads of shoes outside.

[Trav Le Bleu]

1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all stood watching a street performer doing some excellent juggling.

 

The juggler notices that the four men have a very poor view, so he stands on a large wooden box and calls out "Can you all see me now?"

 

And they replied...

 

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Si"

"Ja"

 

Took me a few seconds.

[Webbo]

 "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday..........never again."
 

[Izzy]

7 minutes ago, Webbo said:

 "I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday..........never again."
 

Tim Vine would be proud that his funniest joke of the 2010 fringe festival is still alive and well 

[jonthefox]

Just seen a box of after eights for sale on eBay.

 

mint condition.

[Beliall]

8 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Tim Vine would be proud that his funniest joke of the 2010 fringe festival is still alive and well 

[Durnerz]

Serena Williams absence from Tennis has been revealed as being the result of possession of a banned substance....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....testicles.

[Beliall]

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

 

A labracadabrador.
 

[isaidno]

Sad news at the Nestle factory today. A member of staff was seriously injured when a pallet of chocolate bars fell more than 50 feet and trapped him underneath. He tried in vain to attract attention , but every time he shouted "the milky bars are on me" , everybody cheered. 

[Beliall]

[Webbo]

Although it`s been years I`ll never forget what my noisy nextdoor neighbour said to me just before he died ,

 

 

 

"How`d you get into my house and what`s the hammer for ?".

[Tuna]

I'm terrified of drinking alcohol-free lager.

 

My Doctor says it's a faux beer.

 

 

[the fox]

 

 

Did you hear about the shooting in the nearby library? unfortunate people, they just wanted some books, but all they got were magazines!

They said that a poor old Lady told the shooter "sshhhh, use your silencer".

Edited 21 August 2017 by the fox