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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, FerrisBueller said:

Have you ever seen two planes fighting in an airbase and thought, hangar bout?

 

I think you need to take a day off, Ferris...

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

My mate suffered a serious injury last weekend whilst attending the Teddybears Picnic.

 

Hopefully he'll end up O.K. - but he's not out of the woods yet...

  • Haha 3
Trav Le Bleu

Trav Le Bleu

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

My mate suffered a serious injury last weekend whilst attending the Teddybears Picnic.

 

Hopefully he'll end up O.K. - but he's not out of the woods yet...

Wait...

 

What...?

 

That joke was two or three pages back!

Wymsey

Wymsey

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

My mate suffered a serious injury last weekend whilst attending the Teddybears Picnic.

 

Hopefully he'll end up O.K. - but he's not out of the woods yet...

Just hope he hasn't lost his bearings..

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Trav Le Bleu

Trav Le Bleu

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, Wymeswold fox said:

Just hope he hasn't lost his bearings..

No, no, no... we had loads of awful bear puns the first time this joke was made. Why don't we all paws before we write something stupid?

  • Like 2
Wymsey

Wymsey

Posted
Posted
Just now, Trav Le Bleu said:

No, no, no... we had loads of awful bear puns the first time this joke was made. Why don't we all paws before we write something stupid?

True, but don't want to see anyone getting barking mad over duplicate jokes.

Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Wait...

 

What...?

 

That joke was two or three pages back!

lol 

Oops, I missed that!

Must try harder :facepalm:

Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

No, no, no... we had loads of awful bear puns the first time this joke was made. Why don't we all paws before we write something stupid?

My apologies Trav. I was a bit quick out of the traps on that one. Sorry :blush:

Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted (edited)
9 minutes ago, FerrisBueller said:

A friend of mine lives in a cold North American state, can't think what it's called, Alaska...

Image result for bueller

 

 

 

 

Edited by Izzy Muzzett
  • Haha 1
ozleicester

ozleicester

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 7/30/2017 at 16:19, Izzy Muzzett said:

Two peanuts were walking down the street.

 

One was a salted

Its a violent area.... at the same time...i heard there was a fish that got battered.

Edited by ozleicester
  • Like 1
Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, ozleicester said:

Its a violent area.... at the same time...i heard there was a fish that got battered.

I feel sorry for the chicken who got spit-roasted.

Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

I was drinking in a bar when a gorgeous blonde approached and sat next to me.

 

She whispered in my ear "describe your perfect date to me"...

 

I said "Well, probably May 23rd. It's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket really..."

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I was drinking in a bar when a gorgeous blonde approached and sat next to me.

 

She whispered in my ear "describe your perfect date to me"...

 

I said "Well, probably May 23rd. It's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket really..."

200.gif#0-grid1

  • Sad 1
davieG

davieG

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

I was drinking in a bar when a gorgeous blonde approached and sat next to me.

 

She whispered in my ear "describe your perfect date to me"...

 

I said "Well, probably May 23rd. It's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket really..."

Straight Jacket seems more suitable.

 

The-Mummy-Full-Body-Straight-Jacket.gif

  • Haha 1
Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

It's not that difficult to tell alligators and crocodiles apart.

 

One will see you later, and the other will see you in a while...

  • Like 2
Renart

Renart

Posted
Posted

I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
fuchsntf

fuchsntf

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Renart said:

I was just looking at my ceiling. Not sure if it’s the best ceiling in the world, but it’s definitely up there.

Some peoples ceilings, are other peoples floors (flaws)..

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