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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, jonthefox said:

:wes:

 
 
mime
 
verb
gerund or present participle: miming
  1. 1.
    use only gesture and movement to act out (a play or role).
    "a mimed play"
  2. 2.
    pretend to sing or play an instrument as a recording is being played.
    "singers on television often mime to pre-recorded tape tracks"
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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
Just now, Facecloth said:

:nigel:

mime
 
verb
gerund or present participle: miming
  1. 1.
    use only gesture and movement to act out (a play or role).
    "a mimed play"
  2. 2.
    pretend to sing or play an instrument as a recording is being played.
    "singers on television often mime to pre-recorded tape tracks"
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Facecloth

Facecloth

Posted
Posted
Just now, Izzy said:
mime
 
verb
gerund or present participle: miming
  1. 1.
    use only gesture and movement to act out (a play or role).
    "a mimed play"
  2. 2.
    pretend to sing or play an instrument as a recording is being played.
    "singers on television often mime to pre-recorded tape tracks"

Oh I got the joke, its just :nigel:

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Aus Fox

Aus Fox

Posted
Posted

As I went out for my 1 hour of exercise today I witnessed the most bizarre thing. Two ducks sitting at a table with a sign in front of them which read ‘Will talk for $5’ 

All of a sudden the police rock up and both ducks were arrested.

Apparently they were selling quack.

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Blarmy

Blarmy

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Aus Fox said:

As I went out for my 1 hour of exercise today I witnessed the most bizarre thing. Two ducks sitting at a table with a sign in front of them which read ‘Will talk for $5’ 

All of a sudden the police rock up and both ducks were arrested.

Apparently they were selling quack.

:revenge:

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Facecloth

Facecloth

Posted
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Posted

A confused Gareth Bale has explained how his loan move came about.

 

"I was deciding which shot to take on the 11th, and chose a 6 iron. My agent said "choose a smaller club" and the next thing I know I am on a plane to Spurs!!"

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Aus Fox

Aus Fox

Posted
Posted

Two cowboys walking through the desert, hungry and thirsty when one of them spots a bacon tree up ahead.

They both run towards it only to find themselves surrounded by bandits and have bullets flying towards them.
With his last breath one cowboy turns to the other and says “I don’t think it was a bacon tree, I think it was a ham Bush”

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
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Posted

My six-year-old daughter was watching me shave this morning.

 

"Why do you shave, Daddy?" she enquired.

 

"Because Mummy likes me with nice smooth skin" I explained. "Here, have a feel"

 

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

 

"No, not at all" I said. "Unless I cut myself".

 

"And then do you put a plaster on?" she asked.

 

"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts" I told her.

 

"But don't they just fall off?"

 

"No, sweetheart" I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on".

 

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Trav Le Bleu

Trav Le Bleu

Posted
Posted (edited)
13 hours ago, Izzy said:

My six-year-old daughter was watching me shave this morning.

 

"Why do you shave, Daddy?" she enquired.

 

"Because Mummy likes me with nice smooth skin" I explained. "Here, have a feel"

 

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

 

"No, not at all" I said. "Unless I cut myself".

 

"And then do you put a plaster on?" she asked.

 

"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts" I told her.

 

"But don't they just fall off?"

 

"No, sweetheart" I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on".

 

Pervert

 

 

 

I'd edit that bit out if I were you lol

Edited by Trav Le Bleu
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Facecloth

Facecloth

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Pervert

 

 

 

I'd edit that bit out if I were you lol

That makes the joke lol Sends you in one direction before going completely the opposite way.

Edited by Facecloth
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