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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
14 minutes ago, Bob Weasel Fox said:

The psychiatrist that discovered Paranoia sadly passed away peacefully today,  surrounded by everyone.

 

Sadly, the man who invented predictive text also died today.

 

His funfair will be hello on Sundial.

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Trav Le Bleu

Trav Le Bleu

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1 hour ago, UpTheLeagueFox said:

The creator of the hokey cokey died this week.
It was tough for his friends and family. It was especially tough when laying his body in the coffin.

They put his left arm in...

 

 

I used to be addicted to the Hokey Cokey...
Then I turned myself around.

And that's what it's all about really.

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Izzy

Izzy

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I was in hospital recently and was chatting with the bloke next to me.
“What are you in for?” I asked.

"I'm in for an endoscopy, they're going to see whats going on down my throat, "What are you in for?" he asked.

"Oh, camera up the arse" I replied.
The bloke says "colonoscopy its called".
"No mate camera up the arse, the mrs caught me taking pictures of my neighbour's tits."

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FoxesDeb

FoxesDeb

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A woman was taking a tour round a hospital, and passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously. 'Oh goodness, that's disgraceful' she said. 'Why is he doing that'? The doctor leading the tour calmly explained that the man had a serious condition where his testicles rapidly filled with semen, and that if it wasn't released several times a day, his testicles would burst. The woman says 'oh, I suppose that's OK then'. 

 

As they passed the next room, another man could be seen having a nurse perform oral sex on him. The woman screams at the doctor 'how can THAT possibly be justified in a hospital?'

 

The doctor replies 'oh he has the same condition as the other man, but this man is with BUPA'

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Izzy

Izzy

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Looks like some on here have been opening their Xmas crackers early :rolleyes:

 

Anyway...

 

My boy came home from school earlier and tells me he had sex with his French teacher.

 

I said "Good lad, that's my boy, a chip off the old block! You know that bicycle you want for Xmas? Let's go to Halfords and get it early for you!"

 

When we got home, my lad was riding his bike out the back yard but permanently standing up on the pedals.

 

I said "You don't have to do that son, you can sit on the seat you know!

 

He said "I know that Dad, but my arse is still sore".

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