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Webbo

Webbo

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Do parents really matter?

 

Everything we thought we knew about how personality is formed is wrong

CULTURE

Brian Boutwell

14 Jun 2017

Parenting does not have a large impact on how children turn out. An incendiary claim, to be sure, but if you can bear with me until the close of this article I think I might be able to persuade you — or at the very least chip away at your certainty about parental influence.

First, what if later today the phone were to ring and the voice at the other end informed you that you have an identical twin. You would have lived your entire life up to that point not realising that you had a clone. The bearer of this news says arrangements have been made to reunite you with your long-lost sibling. In something of a daze, you assent, realising as you hang up that you’ve just agreed to meet a perfect stranger.

There was a time when separating identical twins at birth, while infrequent, did happen thanks to the harsh nature of adoption systems. One of the people who helped reunite many of them was the great psychologist Thomas Bouchard. I first read about Professor Bouchard’s work, wonderfully described by the psychologist Nancy Segal, when I was a graduate student. I still think about it often. What would it be like to live a large chunk of my life not knowing that I had a twin, and then meet him as an adult? Would our conversations ever go beyond polite small talk about the weather, sport or current events?

I’m sure similar thoughts went through the minds of the people in Bouchard’s study, and yet person after person realised — happily, I suspect — that they had a lot in common with the image of themselves sitting across the table. Their characters were often remarkably in step, as were their intellects, their behaviours, even their hobbies and eccentricities. The similarities often ran deep, cutting to the bone of their beliefs and their morality.

 

Our intuition sometimes seems to testify against the work of Bouchard and his team. The emphasis on nurture dictates that identical twins, reared apart and reunited later in life, should not be all that similar. And yet they are. Contrastingly, adopted children who share no distinguishing DNA with one another but are raised together should be quite similar. Yet they are not, and this poses some problems for traditional ideas about how parents shape children.

It’s not just Bouchard’s work that suggests parents have less influence than we think. Decades of research into behavioural genetics — twin studies, family studies and the adoption and identical-twin stories I have already mentioned — all point in the same direction. The shared environment, the experiences that create similarities between siblings raised together — the part of the environment that most often captures parenting influences — are all secondary when it comes to personality, behaviour or intelligence. What’s more, my own work as a criminologist, and that of my colleagues, has revealed the same pattern of findings when applied to violence, antisocial behaviour and crime.

This apparent puzzle (which is something of a scientific heresy) becomes clearer if we accept that genetic factors play an important role in making us who we are. Yes, the environment matters, but not just the environment that the child experiences in the home. The environment in this sense is far more nebulous and hard to nail down — behavioural geneticists call it the ‘non-shared’ environment and it includes anything that causes two siblings to be different from each other. And I really mean anything. The psychologist Steven Pinker puts it this way: ‘A cosmic ray mutates a stretch of DNA, a neurotransmitter zigs instead of zags, the growth cone of an axon goes left instead of right, and one identical twin’s brain might gel into a slightly different configuration from the other’s.’ In other words, we should not presume that random chance plays a vanishingly small role in making us the people that we are today.

Beyond the randomness of life, we already have a window on to what parts of culture children are swayed by. Both Pinker and the psychologist Judith Rich Harris remind us that the children of immigrants adopt and speak with the accent and language of their peers. The movies people watch, the music we listen to, and much else that we’d put under the general heading of ‘culture’ are deeply affected by our peers. What else would you expect, really? Wanting and needing to fit in is not just a passing phase of childhood. To some extent, it’s essential for living.

So ‘the environment’ does play a role in shaping who we are, but it’s not ‘the environment’ in merely the conventional sense of how your folks parent you and your siblings.

All of this is indicative of something deeper — an aspect which is less arcane and more relevant to daily life. A great many pundits, advice givers, and professional psychologists have spent decades being wrong about why people turn out the way they do.

A child is not a blank canvas. How many books have been written about the way people should and should not parent their children? How many approaches have been suggested by experts who are not really in a position to know? Yes, they may hold advanced degrees, but the truth is that the advice they offer tends to ignore the genetic influences that we now know to be at work. The studies that identify those influences often find that parenting — unless it is actually malign — has very little impact on how children turn out. The huge ‘parenting advice’ industry is largely bunkum.

What does this mean for you if you’re a parent wanting to know how to raise a happy, well-adjusted child? I generally loathe parenting advice columns, so that is not what is on offer here. I can sympathise with the idea that having a child brings with it a host of responsibilities that are exciting but also terrifying.

At this point, I would turn again to the psychologist Judith Rich Harris, who authored the definitive book on this subject. Harris writes: ‘We may not hold their tomorrows in our hands but we surely hold their todays, and we have the power to make their todays very miserable.’

Pinker, meanwhile, makes the point that it should be enough for us to remember that our children are human beings, worthy of the same ethical treatment we give to our friends, other relatives, and even to strangers. So protect your children, provide for them, be good to them, and make memories with them. Apart from that, don’t expect to have very much say in how they turn out

 

Have to say this matches my experience of watching kids grow up. My sister was a single mother and her eldest boy had all the mannerisms of his dad even though he had virtually nothing to do with him.

 

https://life.spectator.co.uk/2017/06/do-parents-really-matter/

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Guest BlueBrett

Guest BlueBrett

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On 22/08/2017 at 20:48, toddybad said:

When political correctness goes mad and is suddenly more important than life or death

 

Health trust turns down ‘demeaning’ fancy dress nurses' donation

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/aug/22/health-trust-turns-down-demeaning-fancy-dress-nurses-donation?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

I don't get this one. How is it even politically correct? The place I'm working at the moment has a partnership with the NHS and one of the nurses is a 6ft5 transvestite. Would this chief exec describe her way of life as 'demeaning'?

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Nick

Nick

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On 22 August 2017 at 20:48, toddybad said:

When political correctness goes mad and is suddenly more important than life or death

 

Health trust turns down ‘demeaning’ fancy dress nurses' donation

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/aug/22/health-trust-turns-down-demeaning-fancy-dress-nurses-donation?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

I hope another charity steps in and says "you can dress up how you want and make yourself look foolish as its in the right sentiment and we'll happily take your money and do something good with it - thank you."

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Webbo

Webbo

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26 minutes ago, ozleicester said:

Pretty sure government violence in Venezuela was put down to Socialists... just making a similar link for those who say that capitalism is perfect.

Pretty sure the protests in Venezuela were down to rapidly rising poverty and the govts ignoring of the election results

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Wymsey

Wymsey

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Posted (edited)

The restarted landfill search for Corrie McKeague, who's been missing for just over a year now.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-41490459

After a 'thorough analysis' of previous searches at the site where he's said to be likely to be found, the investigators are confident in finding him at the waste site.

 

The issue here is why did they stop the landfill search for a few weeks, considering the final movement tracking of his mobile phone (went missing after a night out) was located in that area?..

Edited by Wymeswold fox
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Webbo

Webbo

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Teen admits bid to hack into CIA chief's computer from Leicestershire home

A teenager has admitted attempting to hack into the computers of senior US government officials from his home, including the director of the CIA and the deputy director of the FBI.

Kane Gamble, 18, pleaded guilty at Leicester Crown Court to eight charges of "performing a function with intent to secure unauthorised access" to the computers and two charges of "unauthorised modification of computer material".

His targets included John Brennan, the then director of the CIA, and the former deputy director of the FBI, Mark Giuliano.

Also on the list was Barack Obama's deputy national security adviser Avril Haines and his senior science and technology adviser John Holdren.

 

Reports at the time said a British teenager had infiltrated the personal e-mail account of Mr Brennan and posted details online.

Gamble, of Coalville, Leicestershire, will be sentenced at Leicester Crown Court on December 15.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/06/teen-admits-bid-hack-cia-chiefs-computer-leicestershire-home/

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boots60

boots60

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42 minutes ago, Webbo said:

Teen admits bid to hack into CIA chief's computer from Leicestershire home

A teenager has admitted attempting to hack into the computers of senior US government officials from his home, including the director of the CIA and the deputy director of the FBI.

Kane Gamble, 18, pleaded guilty at Leicester Crown Court to eight charges of "performing a function with intent to secure unauthorised access" to the computers and two charges of "unauthorised modification of computer material".

His targets included John Brennan, the then director of the CIA, and the former deputy director of the FBI, Mark Giuliano.

Also on the list was Barack Obama's deputy national security adviser Avril Haines and his senior science and technology adviser John Holdren.

 

Reports at the time said a British teenager had infiltrated the personal e-mail account of Mr Brennan and posted details online.

Gamble, of Coalville, Leicestershire, will be sentenced at Leicester Crown Court on December 15.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/06/teen-admits-bid-hack-cia-chiefs-computer-leicestershire-home/

He can't have done that surely. No way.

He's from Coalville!!

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Wymsey

Wymsey

Posted
Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, Webbo said:

Teen admits bid to hack into CIA chief's computer from Leicestershire home

A teenager has admitted attempting to hack into the computers of senior US government officials from his home, including the director of the CIA and the deputy director of the FBI.

Kane Gamble, 18, pleaded guilty at Leicester Crown Court to eight charges of "performing a function with intent to secure unauthorised access" to the computers and two charges of "unauthorised modification of computer material".

His targets included John Brennan, the then director of the CIA, and the former deputy director of the FBI, Mark Giuliano.

Also on the list was Barack Obama's deputy national security adviser Avril Haines and his senior science and technology adviser John Holdren.

 

Reports at the time said a British teenager had infiltrated the personal e-mail account of Mr Brennan and posted details online.

Gamble, of Coalville, Leicestershire, will be sentenced at Leicester Crown Court on December 15.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/06/teen-admits-bid-hack-cia-chiefs-computer-leicestershire-home/

It reminds me of the fellow British alledged hacker, Lauri Love.

Who is, apparently, still awaiting to be sentenced (despite big fears, considering he has Autism, regarding his wellbeing over potentially being put in a US prison).

 

Love's hearing is next month.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/2017/07/29/british-hacker-lauri-love-rather-kill-go-us-prison/

Edited by Wymeswold fox
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Mike Oxlong

Mike Oxlong

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Webbo said:

Teen admits bid to hack into CIA chief's computer from Leicestershire home

A teenager has admitted attempting to hack into the computers of senior US government officials from his home, including the director of the CIA and the deputy director of the FBI.

Kane Gamble, 18, pleaded guilty at Leicester Crown Court to eight charges of "performing a function with intent to secure unauthorised access" to the computers and two charges of "unauthorised modification of computer material".

His targets included John Brennan, the then director of the CIA, and the former deputy director of the FBI, Mark Giuliano.

Also on the list was Barack Obama's deputy national security adviser Avril Haines and his senior science and technology adviser John Holdren.

 

Reports at the time said a British teenager had infiltrated the personal e-mail account of Mr Brennan and posted details online.

Gamble, of Coalville, Leicestershire, will be sentenced at Leicester Crown Court on December 15.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/06/teen-admits-bid-hack-cia-chiefs-computer-leicestershire-home/

From living in Coalville to residing at Her Majesty's Pleasure - that's upward mobility.

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

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On 8/21/2017 at 18:07, Webbo said:

 

Have to say this matches my experience of watching kids grow up. My sister was a single mother and her eldest boy had all the mannerisms of his dad even though he had virtually nothing to do with him.

 

https://life.spectator.co.uk/2017/06/do-parents-really-matter/

 

Only just seen this. It tallies with my experience, too. The environment in which you grow up will certainly have some impact, but I suspect that genes have a bigger impact than we might think.

 

There was a big research project looking at whether alcoholism was linked more to upbringing/environment or to genetic propensity. They looked at alcoholics with an identical twin who had grown up in a different household/environment.

It turned out that the identical twins had a rate of alcoholism 4 times higher than that of the general population.

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ajthefox

ajthefox

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Posted (edited)

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/oct/27/christian-felix-ngole-thrown-out-sheffield-university-anti-gay-remarks-loses-appeal

 

Guy who says homosexuality is a sin is removed from his university social work course.

 

As much as I disagree with his view and where it comes from, it sounds like this guy has simply expressed his view publicly and I think this is harsh.

 

I'm not convinced this is hate speech and it seems like pretty muddy water for the university to be getting itself into. If he said those things in employment I think the employer would be well within their rights to remove him because he would effect people using the service, but the university? I'm not so sure.

 

What would they have done if someone said they thought that religion is bollocks? Would they have booted them out too?

Thoughts?

Edited by ajthefox
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The Doctor

The Doctor

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tbf that article suggests it's more based on his course being quite vocational. If it's a vocational course accredited by a professional body I can understand it more - in that case the course would be to move straight into the career, putting it on similar footing to be a junior member of staff. Don't see how they can classify his remarks as derogatory though if it's just what's quoted in that article.

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