BoneDog Posted 2 February 2013 Posted 2 February 2013 "Premature ejaculator? If so, listen up! I used to be like you (many moons ago mind) until I stumbled upon a winning technique. Nowadays, when I say 'HALT', they flipping halt." When you're making love like a champion to a bit of Rod Stewart or whatever tickles your fancy, what kind of psychological tricks do you use if you feel like going an extra mile and being a love machine that hits the headlines? I'd be interested to hear about them. The trick mentioned in the poll works wonders as many of you surely know. I've been employing the technique for years with great success. I haven't got a website with customer reviews which proves that success, but take it from me, I've gone the distance many times over the years. If I've been hard at it for 10 minutes and can feel the finish line approaching, but fancy turning it into a 20 minute marathon I'll turn my head to the side, stare at the wall in a serious manner, and think hard. Years ago, I started out by only thinking of tarmac (in various stages of it's working day). Tarmac was always a very reliable one for me and I used it for years, but lately I've started spicing it up a bit and adding a bit of variety. Think I got a bit bored of it to be honest. Already done the forehead and hair ones in the poll, and the next time I have a blast I'm going to think about Richard Hammond in one of his suede blazers. Amateurs at this technique could purchase a poster or framed photo of said personality/object and put it in view to help them along. It's important to remember to keep on thrusting or grinding whilst doing the thinking and staring at the wall. Feel free to go slow and steady, but don't totally stop else you'll never master the technique. Another important thing to concentrate on is the face that you pull while you are thinking hard. You don't want it to be too weird if you've got the lights on, or if it's daytime. Mods - Hope this isn't too explicit but if it is feel free to edit.
StanSP Posted 2 February 2013 Posted 2 February 2013 I think of the LCFC sub-forum on here after a defeat.
Charl91 Posted 2 February 2013 Posted 2 February 2013 I'm normally watching TV at the same time, so generally I just concentrate on whatevers on!
Mike Oxlong Posted 2 February 2013 Posted 2 February 2013 Akinbiyi Open goal, 90th minute Needs to score to save us from relegation
BoneDog Posted 2 February 2013 Author Posted 2 February 2013 Seriously? Is this seriously serious? What are you trying to say? That you can bone for 20 minutes straight without having once to think of Kevin Keegan driving a golf buggy on rough terrain? Likely story.
Jordan Posted 2 February 2013 Posted 2 February 2013 El Empty has written plenty of wacky, eye-roll-inducing shit in this forum, but you've got to admit: every now and then he comes up with a true gem. Like generations of Americans that came before me, I use the tried and true technique of thinking about baseball. In fact, this technique is so deeply engrained in our folk culture that Thinking About Baseball is a folk culture in itself. This doesn't work too well in the winter, though, although I've been given a natural Plan B in recent winters thinking about how f***in cold it gets in my bedroom this time of the year and thinking about things my landlord could do to fix the boiler so we could get some goddamn heat. Boring, I know, but it works. Akinbiyi Open goal, 90th minute Needs to score to save us from relegation I'm pretty sure that thinking about this during sex will make one go impotent and sterile (and I'm pretty sure you mean to beat Wycombe in the FA Cup Quarterfinal?).
MC Prussian Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 I'd switch to the lady to the right, starting from scratch up until I reach the clinical point, then start anew to my left, and so on. That is, if I had a threesome, of course.
Rincewind Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 If I was married I'd say I would think of my wife. Then when it was over I'd get dressed and go home to her.
Carl the Llama Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 And her windy flaps. WARNING: This technique is for pros only - only to be used in the direst of circumstances.
SystonFox Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 What are you trying to say? That you can bone for 20 minutes straight without having once to think of Kevin Keegan driving a golf buggy on rough terrain? Likely story. Just an odd topic for this forum! Even considering some of the characters we have. I'm lucky if I last 20 seconds. Maybe I need that picture of SuBo above my bed
Orkneyfox Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 I stop for a cup of tea and a digestive biscuit, then restart in the morning...
Finnegan Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 Tbh Ian Duncan Smith always speeds me up a bit. lol
sphericalfox Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 This is a thread for single men. Married men don't have this problem. The wolves don't even know where the house is anymore.
Captain... Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 I have tried this technique, normally I think of work, or football, but then I think why am I trying to think of something else when I am supposed to be enjoying this. I have been known to finish surprisingly quickly on occasion, but that normally happens when I'm trying not to and you get stuck in that cycle, of thinking about it and the pressure builds and I can't stop even if I am thinking of john major and they I realise of just cum while thinking of john major and start to question my sexuality. So how do I now stop it happening? simple, I take the pressure off, how do I do that? Well I first realised the cause when I hadn't seen my missus for a while and was suffering from serious blue balls, so I said honey, I'm hornier than a dog on heat and I'm not going last long, you're probably not going to enjoy it, I'll make it up to you later, she said no worries, knock yourself out, so I just piled into her, no foreplay no expectation and for the first time we finished together. So stop thinking about, and worrying about her. Second tip is learn how to give great head, you give her a full on multiple body shuddering orgasm with your tongue, and or fingers then she really won't care how long you take if you stick it in just after, again takes all the pressure off. The third technique is not to think of something else, if you are not going to think about it while you do it, then you are not really going to enjoy it as much, and probably not do it that well. So think about her, focus on her, look into her eyes and think about how important she is to you and how much you love her or how sexy she is, or what her name is, try and synchronise your bodies and your breathing, once you are synchronised you stand a much greater chance of finishing at the same time. The final bit of advice is practice practice practice, try any every and all positions, and all and any techniques, learn to read her body react to it, and enjoy it. Don't think of other things otherwise you might as well be having a wank.
Wycombe Fox Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 I used to think of a naked 80 year-old woman in a bath tub of cold baked beans. Now I just stop, pull out and tell her I'm buffering.
Zingari Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 Many men make the mistake of trying to hold back from coming . The best thing to do is the opposite and try to blow out like you're trying to piss. this will actually stop you from coming. ( you may let out a big fart doing this , but that's the chance you have to take )
Captain... Posted 3 February 2013 Posted 3 February 2013 A question for any women who have had the misfortune to read this thread: Do not know that men do this? Do you care? Would it offend you to find out the man you're fvcking is thinking of something else?
BoneDog Posted 3 February 2013 Author Posted 3 February 2013 The Richard Hammond one didn't work. Soon as I pictured his hair I blew her back off.
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