Depression

[Crinklyfox]

15 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

Thoroughly cheesed off with someone deciding to do a 'sorry but not sorry enough' job on my personality and writing style elsewhere on this forum. ironic that he chose to do it just before WMHD really - health isn't great right now and this hasn't helped mental health much.

There's too many personal comments in general for my liking on FT.  None of us are immune to criticism but we can choose how we feel about it.  So if I get horrible comments from my wife or children it hurts; however if I get negative comments from someone I have no respect for then it has much less effect.  In any event when one person insults another it's usually the insulter that looks bad to a neutral person rather than the insulted.

[Izzy]

12 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

Thoroughly cheesed off with someone deciding to do a 'sorry but not sorry enough' job on my personality and writing style elsewhere on this forum. ironic that he chose to do it just before WMHD really - health isn't great right now and this hasn't helped mental health much.

I think I know the poster you mean and the post in question. I can see why it might have pissed you off, although he did balance his dig with a complement on how intelligent you are. Maybe just try to laugh it off and not take things so serious mate - sticks and stones and all that..

 

I think it's easy to pigeon hole people on this forum. Once you've got a 'reputation' for having a certain type of posting style, it's difficult to change people opinion on you I reckon. I'm sure he had no idea about WMHD and probably doesn't even read this thread at a guess, so possibly didn't realise the impact his 'dig' would have on you.

 

I've said many times that if we all met each other IRL down the pub we'd probably all get on great and be nothing like our internet persona. 

 

I mean I'd love people to know that I am actually quite funny IRL and my jokes told in person are a lot funnier than they read on here 

 

[Buce]

5 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I think I know the poster you mean and the post in question. I can see why it might have pissed you off, although he did balance his dig with a complement on how intelligent you are. Maybe just try to laugh it off and not take things so serious mate - sticks and stones and all that..

 

I think it's easy to pigeon hole people on this forum. Once you've got a 'reputation' for having a certain type of posting style, it's difficult to change people opinion on you I reckon. I'm sure he had no idea about WMHD and probably doesn't even read this thread at a guess, so possibly didn't realise the impact his 'dig' would have on you.

 

I've said many times that if we all met each other IRL down the pub we'd probably all get on great and be nothing like our internet persona. 

 

I mean I'd love people to know that I am actually quite funny IRL and my jokes told in person are a lot funnier than they read on here 

 

 

Not me.

 

I'm a twat in real life as well...

[HighPeakFox]

19 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I think I know the poster you mean and the post in question. I can see why it might have pissed you off, although he did balance his dig with a complement on how intelligent you are. Maybe just try to laugh it off and not take things so serious mate - sticks and stones and all that..

 

I think it's easy to pigeon hole people on this forum. Once you've got a 'reputation' for having a certain type of posting style, it's difficult to change people opinion on you I reckon. I'm sure he had no idea about WMHD and probably doesn't even read this thread at a guess, so possibly didn't realise the impact his 'dig' would have on you.

 

I've said many times that if we all met each other IRL down the pub we'd probably all get on great and be nothing like our internet persona. 

 

I mean I'd love people to know that I am actually quite funny IRL and my jokes told in person are a lot funnier than they read on here 

 

I think I felt more insulted by the attempted 'balance' than anything else, along with the pre-emptive apology. It was akin to 'I know I'm out of order so I'm going to try and mitigate being totally unnecessary by trying to be 'nice' but really I'm just unloading because I need a target and I dare not unload on someone that might have fists' (metaphorically or otherwise).

[Izzy]

7 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

I think I felt more insulted by the attempted 'balance' than anything else, along with the pre-emptive apology. It was akin to 'I know I'm out of order so I'm going to try and mitigate being totally unnecessary by trying to be 'nice' but really I'm just unloading because I need a target and I dare not unload on someone that might have fists' (metaphorically or otherwise).

As @Crinklyfoxsaid above, I think that says more about him than it does you mate. I guess some people unload on their wife and kids or work colleagues whilst others choose to unload on here instead. 

I had a couple of posters make what I would call 'snarky' comments re. my posts a few months ago and must admit it played on my mind for a while. In all my time on here I've never used the 'ignore' feature but decided to put these two on ignore because they pissed me off.

Best thing I ever did - out of sight, out of mind.

[HighPeakFox]

2 minutes ago, Izzy said:

As @Crinklyfoxsaid above, I think that says more about him than it does you mate. I guess some people unload on their wife and kids or work colleagues whilst others choose to unload on here instead. 

I had a couple of posters make what I would call 'snarky' comments re. my posts a few months ago and must admit it played on my mind for a while. In all my time on here I've never used the 'ignore' feature but decided to put these two on ignore because they pissed me off.

Best thing I ever did - out of sight, out of mind.

Yes, and my brain knows that. But you know how it is when we feel hurt, or an injustice.

 

Thing is, that particular guy isn't one I feel the need to ignore - he's normally fine. I use the feature though enough mind you.

[Izzy]

11 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

Yes, and my brain knows that. But you know how it is when we feel hurt, or an injustice.

 

Thing is, that particular guy isn't one I feel the need to ignore - he's normally fine. I use the feature though enough mind you.

Indeed. I've talked a few times on this thread about David Rock's SCARF model and our human need for:

 

Status

Certainty

Autonomy

Relatedness

Fairness

 

My sense is you have a very high need for Fairness and this is an important principle of yours.

 

If someone does or says something that tramples on your value of fairness, it's going to trigger your amygdala!

[FoxesDeb]

1 hour ago, HighPeakFox said:

Yes, and my brain knows that. But you know how it is when we feel hurt, or an injustice.

 

Thing is, that particular guy isn't one I feel the need to ignore - he's normally fine. I use the feature though enough mind you.

If it helps, remember that the people who know you personally know that what he said is far from the truth. At least I think so, and I'm sure many others would agree.

[HighPeakFox]

29 minutes ago, FoxesDeb said:

If it helps, remember that the people who know you personally know that what he said is far from the truth. At least I think so, and I'm sure many others would agree.

Thank you, that's lovely.

[1972 Fox]

11 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

Thoroughly cheesed off with someone deciding to do a 'sorry but not sorry enough' job on my personality and writing style elsewhere on this forum. ironic that he chose to do it just before WMHD really - health isn't great right now and this hasn't helped mental health much.

I know the post and poster that you are referring to, as I saw it and your reply earlier today.

 

Easy for me to say as it wasn't aimed at me but my advice would be to ignore it and try not to take things too personally. Please don't get depressed by something said by someone who is totally insignificant to you.

 

I for one enjoy your posts and writing style (even if you are being pedantic) and I'm sure many others do too. So keep it up and please don't change too much.

 

I quite often have a sarcastic dig at some on here and maybe sometimes it's not appropriate, but I am not abusive and neither are you from what I've seen/read.

 

Chin up mate and keep posting your own thoughts in your own style.

 

Edited 11 October 2020 by Blue Fox 72

[HighPeakFox]

2 minutes ago, Blue Fox 72 said:

I know the post and poster that you are referring to, as I saw it and your reply earlier today.

 

Easy for me to say as it wasn't aimed at me but my advice would be to ignore it and try not to take things too personally. Please don't get depressed by something said by someone who is totally insignificant to you.

 

I for one enjoy your posts and writing style (even if you are being pedantic) and I'm sure many others do too. So keep it up and please don't change to much.

 

I quite often have a sarcastic dig at some on here and maybe sometimes it's not appropriate, but I am not abusive and neither are you from what I've seen/read.

 

Chin up mate and keep posting your own thoughts in your own style.

Thank you - feeling pretty unwell isn't helping much either.

[1972 Fox]

4 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

Thank you - feeling pretty unwell isn't helping much either.

Get well soon.

[urban.spaceman]

Bit of an update from me.

 

Had much less anxiety the last few weeks since I started personal training. Regular exercise and a diet change really do help, but there are times when depression comes back and I'm in a rut again. But starting to make plans for my immediate future, which are having to take COVID into account. Grand plans will sadly have to wait. On the other hand, 6 weeks in and I'm 20lbs down! Loads more to go but I'm getting there. Planning to do Hadrian's Wall next April.

 

Hope everyone is well, if not, never be afraid to post in here, there's some ****ing brilliant people on this thread.

 

x

[UniFox21]

It's been a tough couple of weeks for me, broke up with my gf of 4+ years the other week and work are doing their best to drive me crazy. Trying to keep myself busy to not dwell on things, had got to the end of last week and thought I was getting there, to be completely hit with it all again this week. 

[rachhere]

5 minutes ago, UniFox21 said:

It's been a tough couple of weeks for me, broke up with my gf of 4+ years the other week and work are doing their best to drive me crazy. Trying to keep myself busy to not dwell on things, had got to the end of last week and thought I was getting there, to be completely hit with it all again this week. 

Sorry to hear that  things are pretty crazy at work aren't they. If you ever fancy meeting up for a drink on campus to escape from it all a bit let me know. 

[Guest Col city fan]

On 10/10/2020 at 16:20, HighPeakFox said:

Thoroughly cheesed off with someone deciding to do a 'sorry but not sorry enough' job on my personality and writing style elsewhere on this forum. ironic that he chose to do it just before WMHD really - health isn't great right now and this hasn't helped mental health much.

 

Hey HPF, do what i do and laff at em. The forum seems to contain its fair share of quite strange people and if you let them wind you up you’ll suffer.

I hope you’re ok bud and that this stops for you.

[VLC86]

I’m not sure how people are prone to mental health issues are coping at the minute because I feel like I’ve had enough.

 

Taken a huge financial hit, not being able to do much of the stuff I love and work being horrendously stressful at times has taken its tole. Been feeling better this week and then I’ve played football tonight and really didn’t enjoy it.

 

There being no end game is probably the worst part of all of this.

[HighPeakFox]

46 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

I’m not sure how people are prone to mental health issues are coping at the minute because I feel like I’ve had enough.

 

Taken a huge financial hit, not being able to do much of the stuff I love and work being horrendously stressful at times has taken its tole. Been feeling better this week and then I’ve played football tonight and really didn’t enjoy it.

 

There being no end game is probably the worst part of all of this.

With difficulty - it's not easy for anyone right now, but the sensitive and vulnerable will be suffering. I empathise entirely.

[Lionator]

10 hours ago, UniFox21 said:

It's been a tough couple of weeks for me, broke up with my gf of 4+ years the other week and work are doing their best to drive me crazy. Trying to keep myself busy to not dwell on things, had got to the end of last week and thought I was getting there, to be completely hit with it all again this week. 

In all honesty you just have to embrace the sadness for a little while in this situation. Breakups are never easy, but they do always get easier over time. Remember how you feel now because in a few weeks you'll be able to look back knowing how much you've grown in this period.

[Ozwin]

My ex has been in touch giving me signals that she regrets her decision and may have dreams of us getting back together in the future. She's essentially apologised for being so cold and for making the decision so quickly. Weird one. Thrown me a bit. Obviously I'm not going to go running back to her but I do believe everyone can make mistakes.

[HighPeakFox]

1 minute ago, Ozwin said:

My ex has been in touch giving me signals that she regrets her decision and may have dreams of us getting back together in the future. She's essentially apologised for being so cold and for making the decision so quickly. Weird one. Thrown me a bit. Obviously I'm not going to go running back to her but I do believe everyone can make mistakes.

Take your time. 

[ajthefox]

On 25/10/2020 at 17:44, Ozwin said:

My ex has been in touch giving me signals that she regrets her decision and may have dreams of us getting back together in the future. She's essentially apologised for being so cold and for making the decision so quickly. Weird one. Thrown me a bit. Obviously I'm not going to go running back to her but I do believe everyone can make mistakes.

 

On 25/10/2020 at 17:45, HighPeakFox said:

Take your time. 

It's a weird time for everyone - I've been thinking a fair bit recently about a girl I broke up with in February (it was only a short term thing). I don't how much of that is me overthinking and being blinded by the rose-tinted specs because of how grey covid has turned everything. Be careful and keep us posted.

Edited 26 October 2020 by ajthefox

[stripeyfox]

On 25/10/2020 at 17:44, Ozwin said:

My ex has been in touch giving me signals that she regrets her decision and may have dreams of us getting back together in the future. She's essentially apologised for being so cold and for making the decision so quickly. Weird one. Thrown me a bit. Obviously I'm not going to go running back to her but I do believe everyone can make mistakes.

This is always a tough one. Going through a separation from my wife at the moment. To be honest I don't think either one of us actually wants to get back together having come this far, but I can see how it could be a tempting option.

 

But I don't think I could go back now - could probably patch up for a while but we'd end up back in this position again I think

 

You need to give yourself plenty of time to think about it. How are you feeling with life without her? 

 

[HighPeakFox]

Thoroughly depressing to read some of the hard man ignorance in the Chilwell thread. Ignorance is so ugly.

[Devonfox1884]

9 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

Thoroughly depressing to read some of the hard man ignorance in the Chilwell thread. Ignorance is so ugly.

This. I can really relate the Ben as well, I can never say as I’ve had depression, but I do suffer periods of low mood/confidence from time to time and it’s really draining. Good to hear he’s getting back to himself, met him briefly a couple of times and he seemed a really nice guy.