Depression

[Suzie the Fox]

Post not worthy of this thread - apologies

Edited 1 January 2021 by Suzie the Fox

[Devonfox1884]

I always pop into this thread now and again, and am genuinely inspired by some of the good it has done people.

 

As someone who has suffered mentally in the past, I can honestly say the worst thing I did was isolate myself and not talk about it. When I finally opened up after over a year, things started to get so much better so quickly. Talking is really important, and doing so more quickly would’ve saved me a lot of stress and pain. 

 

If anyone reading this is struggling, or even just in need of a general chat, whether you’re reading today or in a month, please know my DMs are open to you. 

[Parafox]

After I retired from the ambulance service I struggled to find anything to fulfil me and I believe I was sliding into depression. I spent a lot of time on FT and for a time it helped, even with Izzy's terrible jokes, but eventually it seemed there was nothing new to read or comment on. At least that's what I thought but actually it was my own lack of interest in anything much to say or do that made me feel unfulfilled as I had no challenging replacement for my job. The adrenaline rush can be addictive lol.

Just on a whim, I volunteered at a local charity shop and I have to say, the interaction with others has been a soul-saver.

As someone else said, if you're down there, mentally or emotionally, don't be alone. This place is a very friendly arm around your shoulder.

[HighPeakFox]

Well said @Parafox. I'm pretty low right now, especially when there are so many noisy loons in the main part of the forum. Part of me wants all the schools shut, part of me dreads it.

[Ian Nacho]

Not the best few weeks. Feeling like I have a limited purpose in life at the moment. The good thing is that I know what I need to do to change that, but the rona makes it 10x harder. The whole song and dance of trying to get my “first proper job” can be demoralising at times. I must be getting on for 100 applications and all I get is the same old “unfortunately” email. Being treated as an algorithm through various situational judgement tests and not a person can be really disheartening. Just got to get through it I suppose. 

[HighPeakFox]

6 minutes ago, Ian Nacho said:

Not the best few weeks. Feeling like I have a limited purpose in life at the moment. The good thing is that I know what I need to do to change that, but the rona makes it 10x harder. The whole song and dance of trying to get my “first proper job” can be demoralising at times. I must be getting on for 100 applications and all I get is the same old “unfortunately” email. Being treated as an algorithm through various situational judgement tests and not a person can be really disheartening. Just got to get through it I suppose. 

I can only imagine fella. Keep going if you can.

[shailen]

24 minutes ago, Ian Nacho said:

Not the best few weeks. Feeling like I have a limited purpose in life at the moment. The good thing is that I know what I need to do to change that, but the rona makes it 10x harder. The whole song and dance of trying to get my “first proper job” can be demoralising at times. I must be getting on for 100 applications and all I get is the same old “unfortunately” email. Being treated as an algorithm through various situational judgement tests and not a person can be really disheartening. Just got to get through it I suppose. 

Keep going mate. I was in your situation a few years ago and can only imagine things are much harder now. It really is a process and try and learn from each unsuccessful interview if you can. I was unsuccessful so many times, but ended up being successful on my third application at my preferred employer and haven't looked back since. 

[tom27111]

It's hard if you're going through problems. Really fvcking hard given circumstances at the minute. 

 

Anyone is welcome to PM me at any time, talking is the biggest thing.

 

May I also recommend taking advantage of the January sales and buying some running trainers. I've done that today.

 

Running or some type of exercise will help you no end.

 

Without sounding patronising, it releases positive chemicals in to your brain.

 

Speaking from experience, it works 

[brucey]

He didn't seem quite right that last season with us  

I hope things are better for him now.

[Scotch]

2 hours ago, brucey said:

He didn't seem quite right that last season with us  

I hope things are better for him now.

I think things like this are a real sobering reminder that mental illness can effect anyone. Even those who appear to have everything in life sorted out, so.etimes even more so. Projecting that perfect lifestyle 24/7 when things are bad absolutely batters you. 

 

I also think it's important for people like Danny to speak openly about it as it and reduces the stigma that I think we makes struggle with more than anything. 

[Fosse93]

Really struggling at the minute... Apologies in advance for the long post. 

 

I was made redundant in April last year due to COVID, before I could start worrying about finding another job, my Uncle, who is a transport manager for a big company, managed to get me a job working for him, with a decent salary increase thrown in as well. Everything looked rosy. 

 

Not long after starting this job I quickly realised the culture at this place was very much 'live to work' with long hours, no breaks, stress levels through the roof etc. Thing is I could do the job pretty well, in fact I was told I'd been the quickest at picking the job up in over 20 years! Which was nice to hear.

 

Fast forward to July last year and I'm sitting at home before logging on, and I'm crying, which isn't normal right? Straight after finishing that day I applied for 2 jobs, and managed to get both of them after interviewing. 

 

I finally managed to pluck up the courage to tell my Uncle (who I feel has done me a huge favour in getting me the job) that I wasn't enjoying the role and I'd been offered a couple of positions at other places. I think he took it as a bit of a kick in the teeth after all he'd done for me tbh. 

 

Anyway, a couple of days later he calls to say he's found a temporary job at the same place of work which will be more suited to my skills, and then once the temp job is done there will be a new job open up within the business that he had already earmarked me for anyway, which again was more suited to my skills. 

 

A couple of months pass and I've finished this temporary role, I was really grateful of that time and it was nice to be able to work damn hard, but by the time 5pm came I could 'switch off', which is a big thing for me. Turned out this new role I was promised had been put back indefinitely and I had to go back to the old role, which I hated. 

 

So I've been back in that role since the end of October, again all feedback I'm getting is great and I feel I'm good at the job... But my anxiety is spiralling out of control. I didn't feel like I saw my young daughter half as much as I should have done over Christmas due to the long hours I was working, and when I did see her I wasn't in the best of moods, which as much as I wanted to snap out of, I just couldn't. 

 

So here I am, majorly depressed and anxious, both things I've had before (I went to my GP a couple of years ago who said I was severely depressed) but I've always just got on with it in hope better days are on their way. Trouble is, this time I can't see a way out, I just feel trapped in this job as I don't want to let my Uncle, or my colleagues down and obviously I'm trapped indoors due to the lockdown. 

 

I've took a weeks holiday this week, but all I've been doing is constantly dreading going back next Monday. I want to go see my GP and get signed off, but I've never done this and I'm scared of how my work are going to react, and also my Uncle who has done SO much for me. 

 

My partner tries to understand but everytime I try and talk about quitting, or leaving my job she worries about money, which I understand completely... I'm just stuck in a shit situation it seems. 

Edited 7 January 2021 by Fosse93

[Crinklyfox]

2 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Really struggling at the minute... Apologies in advance for the long post. 

 

I was made redundant in April last year due to COVID, before I could start worrying about finding another job, my Uncle, who is a transport manager for a big company, managed to get me a job working for him, with a decent salary increase thrown in as well. Everything looked rosy. 

 

Not long after starting this job I quickly realised the culture at this place was very much 'live to work' with long hours, no breaks, stress levels through the roof etc. Thing is I could do the job pretty well, in fact I was told I'd been the quickest at picking the job up in over 20 years! Which was nice to hear.

 

Fast forward to July last year and I'm sitting at home before logging on, and I'm crying, which isn't normal right? Straight after finishing that day I applied for 2 jobs, and managed to get both of them after interviewing. 

 

I finally managed to pluck up the courage to tell my Uncle (who I feel has done me a huge favour in getting me the job) that I wasn't enjoying the role and I'd been offered a couple of positions at other places. I think he took it as a bit of a kick in the teeth after all he'd done for me tbh. 

 

Anyway, a couple of days later he calls to say he's found a temporary job at the same place of work which will be more suited to my skills, and then once the temp job is done there will be a new job open up within the business that he had already earmarked me for anyway, which again was more suited to my skills. 

 

A couple of months pass and I've finished this temporary role, I was really grateful of that time and it was nice to be able to work damn hard, but by the time 5pm came I could 'switch off', which is a big thing for me. Turned out this new role I was promised had been put back indefinitely and I had to go back to the old role, which I hated. 

 

So I've been back in that role since the end of October, again all feedback I'm getting is great and I feel I'm good at the job... But my anxiety is spiralling out of control. I didn't feel like I saw my young daughter half as much as I should have done over Christmas due to the long hours I was working, and when I did see her I wasn't in the best of moods, which as much as I wanted to snap out of, I just couldn't. 

 

So here I am, majorly depressed and anxious, both things I've had before (I went to my GP a couple of years ago who said I was severely depressed) but I've always just got on with it in hope better days are on their way. Trouble is, this time I can't see a way out, I just feel trapped in this job as I don't want to let my Uncle, or my colleagues down and obviously I'm trapped indoors due to the lockdown. 

 

I've took a weeks holiday this week, but all I've been doing is constantly dreading going back next Monday. I want to go see my GP and get signed off, but I've never done this and I'm scared of how my work are going to react, and also my Uncle who has done SO much for me. 

 

My partner tries to understand but everytime I try and talk about quitting, or leaving my job she worries about money, which I understand completely... I'm just stuck in a shit situation it seems. 

It's clear that the job you're doing isn't right for you.  The fact that you're competent at it makes it appealing for your employer to keep you there but that isn't a long term solution for either of you.  There is a danger that you'll stick at it despite everything until you can't take any more then quit no matter what the consequences - we all have a breaking point and I've been beyond mine before.

 

A good manager needs to have the right people in the right jobs.  A successful team is comprised of people who can do their job, love their job and fit in with everyone else in the team.  I've had the experience as a manager of identifying one of my team for career progression, getting him the right experience then promoting him into the job, only to find that although he was good at it he couldn't handle the additional pressure.  We talked it through and I agreed to return him to his previous position as soon as that became possible (it would have been unfair to remove his replacement) or to find him an alternative position.  As I knew his feelings and he was a valuable employee I discussed his situation with my line manager which resulted in other managers within the company being informed that this chap was looking for a position which would suit him.  I also then was able to start the process of searching for a replacement for him.  I kept him informed which took the pressure off him as he knew that although he wanted out of his new job as soon as possible that we were making efforts to help him which made his situation a little more bearable.  Within a few months he had transferred to another department and I had organised his replacement.  His skills had been kept in the company for the benefit of all.  I'm retired now but he's still working there.

 

I've posted that because the worst case scenario would have been that he didn't tell me his feelings, then handed in his resignation when it became too much for him.  Both he and my company would have lost out.  I can see similarities with his situation and the one you find yourself in.  So if I were you I'd have a heart to heart with your uncle.

[That_Dude]

2 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Really struggling at the minute... Apologies in advance for the long post. 

 

I was made redundant in April last year due to COVID, before I could start worrying about finding another job, my Uncle, who is a transport manager for a big company, managed to get me a job working for him, with a decent salary increase thrown in as well. Everything looked rosy. 

 

Not long after starting this job I quickly realised the culture at this place was very much 'live to work' with long hours, no breaks, stress levels through the roof etc. Thing is I could do the job pretty well, in fact I was told I'd been the quickest at picking the job up in over 20 years! Which was nice to hear.

 

Fast forward to July last year and I'm sitting at home before logging on, and I'm crying, which isn't normal right? Straight after finishing that day I applied for 2 jobs, and managed to get both of them after interviewing. 

 

I finally managed to pluck up the courage to tell my Uncle (who I feel has done me a huge favour in getting me the job) that I wasn't enjoying the role and I'd been offered a couple of positions at other places. I think he took it as a bit of a kick in the teeth after all he'd done for me tbh. 

 

Anyway, a couple of days later he calls to say he's found a temporary job at the same place of work which will be more suited to my skills, and then once the temp job is done there will be a new job open up within the business that he had already earmarked me for anyway, which again was more suited to my skills. 

 

A couple of months pass and I've finished this temporary role, I was really grateful of that time and it was nice to be able to work damn hard, but by the time 5pm came I could 'switch off', which is a big thing for me. Turned out this new role I was promised had been put back indefinitely and I had to go back to the old role, which I hated. 

 

So I've been back in that role since the end of October, again all feedback I'm getting is great and I feel I'm good at the job... But my anxiety is spiralling out of control. I didn't feel like I saw my young daughter half as much as I should have done over Christmas due to the long hours I was working, and when I did see her I wasn't in the best of moods, which as much as I wanted to snap out of, I just couldn't. 

 

So here I am, majorly depressed and anxious, both things I've had before (I went to my GP a couple of years ago who said I was severely depressed) but I've always just got on with it in hope better days are on their way. Trouble is, this time I can't see a way out, I just feel trapped in this job as I don't want to let my Uncle, or my colleagues down and obviously I'm trapped indoors due to the lockdown. 

 

I've took a weeks holiday this week, but all I've been doing is constantly dreading going back next Monday. I want to go see my GP and get signed off, but I've never done this and I'm scared of how my work are going to react, and also my Uncle who has done SO much for me. 

 

My partner tries to understand but everytime I try and talk about quitting, or leaving my job she worries about money, which I understand completely... I'm just stuck in a shit situation it seems. 

I feel you, mate. I've been in more or less the same situation, stuck between rock and hard place with seemingly no way out. Dreading to go to work every single day.

 

One thing I can tell you though. From my own experience, if you're not happy with your job, no matter how good it is or you're at it, it will slowly poison every single aspect of your life and won't go away until you adress it. This means finding one in which you can express yourself, be yourself. And you'll be even better at what you do.

 

With all due respect, I don't think that what your uncle or colleagues might think should matter to you in this case. It's your life and you should live it the way you wish. It will benefit you, your partner and everyone around you in ways you can't even begin to imagine. You'll only regret not quitting sooner.

 

I also get your partner's concerns. However money isn't worth your happiness, that's something she'll surely understand. Be honest with your uncle, your partner and above everything else yourself. From what I've read, you're quite the capable person, so finding a new job shouldn't be a difficult thing. You can apply for a job without quitting the current one and manage a seamless transition. That's what I did. If the current situation doesn't allow it, it's fine to wait a bit until the circumstances are more favourable. Alone the perspective of a new horizon will make your current job more bearable.

 

It's not an easy situation but it's far from being hopeless. There's always a way and you can PM if you want.

 

Edited 7 January 2021 by That_Dude

[That_Dude]

I must say that I'm really starting to feel how much this pandemic situation is draining people, especially for singles.

 

For the first time in life, I spent my winter holidays including Christmas, the new year and my birthday in my home, completely alone. Not by choice but principally because of Covid and some unfortunate events. Aside from a few calls here and there, I had to sing sometimes to remember the sound of my own voice.

 

Never felt so low. I'm going to work with no motivation whatsoever and have to fight with myself every morning to even get out of bed. Can't remember the last time I went out, there's no end to this shitty pandemic and where I am, people of my category won't get a vaccine until next December at best.

[Strokes]

8 hours ago, Fosse93 said:

Really struggling at the minute... Apologies in advance for the long post. 

 

I was made redundant in April last year due to COVID, before I could start worrying about finding another job, my Uncle, who is a transport manager for a big company, managed to get me a job working for him, with a decent salary increase thrown in as well. Everything looked rosy. 

 

Not long after starting this job I quickly realised the culture at this place was very much 'live to work' with long hours, no breaks, stress levels through the roof etc. Thing is I could do the job pretty well, in fact I was told I'd been the quickest at picking the job up in over 20 years! Which was nice to hear.

 

Fast forward to July last year and I'm sitting at home before logging on, and I'm crying, which isn't normal right? Straight after finishing that day I applied for 2 jobs, and managed to get both of them after interviewing. 

 

I finally managed to pluck up the courage to tell my Uncle (who I feel has done me a huge favour in getting me the job) that I wasn't enjoying the role and I'd been offered a couple of positions at other places. I think he took it as a bit of a kick in the teeth after all he'd done for me tbh. 

 

Anyway, a couple of days later he calls to say he's found a temporary job at the same place of work which will be more suited to my skills, and then once the temp job is done there will be a new job open up within the business that he had already earmarked me for anyway, which again was more suited to my skills. 

 

A couple of months pass and I've finished this temporary role, I was really grateful of that time and it was nice to be able to work damn hard, but by the time 5pm came I could 'switch off', which is a big thing for me. Turned out this new role I was promised had been put back indefinitely and I had to go back to the old role, which I hated. 

 

So I've been back in that role since the end of October, again all feedback I'm getting is great and I feel I'm good at the job... But my anxiety is spiralling out of control. I didn't feel like I saw my young daughter half as much as I should have done over Christmas due to the long hours I was working, and when I did see her I wasn't in the best of moods, which as much as I wanted to snap out of, I just couldn't. 

 

So here I am, majorly depressed and anxious, both things I've had before (I went to my GP a couple of years ago who said I was severely depressed) but I've always just got on with it in hope better days are on their way. Trouble is, this time I can't see a way out, I just feel trapped in this job as I don't want to let my Uncle, or my colleagues down and obviously I'm trapped indoors due to the lockdown. 

 

I've took a weeks holiday this week, but all I've been doing is constantly dreading going back next Monday. I want to go see my GP and get signed off, but I've never done this and I'm scared of how my work are going to react, and also my Uncle who has done SO much for me. 

 

My partner tries to understand but everytime I try and talk about quitting, or leaving my job she worries about money, which I understand completely... I'm just stuck in a shit situation it seems. 

Speak to your uncle and tell him again. Give him the heads up this time that you’re looking out for a new job and this time you want to find your own path.

He may not take it well to begin with but he will get over it and see it’s the best thing for you. If he doesn’t then he is the fool.

Tell your girlfriend you’ll find something before leaving and then go, you need to take control ASAP.

Good luck.

[Strokes]

5 hours ago, That_Dude said:

I must say that I'm really starting to feel how much this pandemic situation is draining people, especially for singles.

 

For the first time in life, I spent my winter holidays including Christmas, the new year and my birthday in my home, completely alone. Not by choice but principally because of Covid and some unfortunate events. Aside from a few calls here and there, I had to sing sometimes to remember the sound of my own voice.

 

Never felt so low. I'm going to work with no motivation whatsoever and have to fight with myself every morning to even get out of bed. Can't remember the last time I went out, there's no end to this shitty pandemic and where I am, people of my category won't get a vaccine until next December at best.

I’m really struggling with motivation  too at the minute and I’m self employed and usually quite driven. 
I think it’s the monotony of home life, working on my own and the long nights at the minute killing my spirit. Also I usually use forthcoming holidays to boost my morale but I can’t see them happening and it’s just depressing. I’ve just been told my contract will be terminated in January for the role I’m currently doing and I probably should be worried but I’m just ambivalent too it and I’m more concerned about my mental state, as I know what path it tends to go down when I stop giving a fùck about everything.

[Fosse93]

@Crinklyfox @That_Dude @Strokes - Thanks all, your words are all very much appreciated. This place is amazing. 

 

[Crinklyfox]

15 hours ago, That_Dude said:

I must say that I'm really starting to feel how much this pandemic situation is draining people, especially for singles.

 

For the first time in life, I spent my winter holidays including Christmas, the new year and my birthday in my home, completely alone. Not by choice but principally because of Covid and some unfortunate events. Aside from a few calls here and there, I had to sing sometimes to remember the sound of my own voice.

 

Never felt so low. I'm going to work with no motivation whatsoever and have to fight with myself every morning to even get out of bed. Can't remember the last time I went out, there's no end to this shitty pandemic and where I am, people of my category won't get a vaccine until next December at best.

Being alone is awful and damaging to mental health.  In the first lockdown last Spring I was told that as an extremely clinically vulnerable person I could not even leave my house.  When June ended and the restrictions were relaxed just to go out for exercise and be able to say good morning to someone felt wonderful.

 

The current situation is so bad that many of us are feeling low, myself included.  We've been battered with one restriction after another for months now and they can wear you down.  I hate the way things are at present and can only content myself with the thought that this is not forever, within a few months we will be out of this.  The restrictions should end when the infection rates and hospitalisations fall as a result of the vaccination program.  There will be an end to this, and things will get better.  We just have to do our best to stick it out until then.

[Crinklyfox]

10 hours ago, Strokes said:

I’m really struggling with motivation  too at the minute and I’m self employed and usually quite driven. 
I think it’s the monotony of home life, working on my own and the long nights at the minute killing my spirit. Also I usually use forthcoming holidays to boost my morale but I can’t see them happening and it’s just depressing. I’ve just been told my contract will be terminated in January for the role I’m currently doing and I probably should be worried but I’m just ambivalent too it and I’m more concerned about my mental state, as I know what path it tends to go down when I stop giving a fùck about everything.

It's not surprising that your motivation is lower than normal, we all need events to give us a lift to counteract those events that depress us, and recently its been a load of depressive events and not many lifts.  Several months ago I began to call old friends, some of whom I hadn't seen for years, because of the lockdown and the fact that I was going downhill at home and thought that they may be in the same position.  Sometimes our phone calls are just gripes about the current situation but other times they can raise the spirits, and in all cases it's just good to talk to another person.  We're sociable beings not designed to thrive in a vacuum.  And I've found that if I can just get a little positive input that gives me the impetus to get up and do things I know that I should have been doing but didn't have the motivation to start - and when I complete those tasks, however humble, I get a sense of achievement that raises my spirits.  That wards off a slide into depression - I've been there before and don't want it to happen again.

[HighPeakFox]

Best wishes to every single one of you.

[Mapperleyfox]

Great thread and I feel for everyone going through their own personal challenges.

 

First things first, my problems seem incredibly trivial in comparison but i guess it's a subjective topic. Been working from home since last March with no face to face with colleagues apart from video calls. It's hard to do my job remotely so I'm constantly frustrated and feel detached.

 

Plus since March I've been stuck at home with the missus and her two kids 24/7 which isn't easy and with escapism, no football to go to and pubs and restaurants shut I have hardly seen mates or family in proper social circumstances, which is really important to me.

 

Then there's travelling which i love doing, so i can't plan anything in for the future which i know would give me something to look forward to.

 

Basically like most people everything i enjoy doing has been taken away from me and i have no idea when it's coming back. 

[Strokes]

1 hour ago, HighPeakFox said:

Best wishes to every single one of you.

And to you peaky, we can all get through it together. Whether you are suffering now or not.

[ajthefox]

On 01/01/2021 at 20:32, HighPeakFox said:

Well said @Parafox. I'm pretty low right now, especially when there are so many noisy loons in the main part of the forum. Part of me wants all the schools shut, part of me dreads it.

 

On 01/01/2021 at 22:15, Ian Nacho said:

Not the best few weeks. Feeling like I have a limited purpose in life at the moment. The good thing is that I know what I need to do to change that, but the rona makes it 10x harder. The whole song and dance of trying to get my “first proper job” can be demoralising at times. I must be getting on for 100 applications and all I get is the same old “unfortunately” email. Being treated as an algorithm through various situational judgement tests and not a person can be really disheartening. Just got to get through it I suppose. 

 

On 07/01/2021 at 12:46, Fosse93 said:

Really struggling at the minute... Apologies in advance for the long post. 

 

I was made redundant in April last year due to COVID, before I could start worrying about finding another job, my Uncle, who is a transport manager for a big company, managed to get me a job working for him, with a decent salary increase thrown in as well. Everything looked rosy. 

 

Not long after starting this job I quickly realised the culture at this place was very much 'live to work' with long hours, no breaks, stress levels through the roof etc. Thing is I could do the job pretty well, in fact I was told I'd been the quickest at picking the job up in over 20 years! Which was nice to hear.

 

Fast forward to July last year and I'm sitting at home before logging on, and I'm crying, which isn't normal right? Straight after finishing that day I applied for 2 jobs, and managed to get both of them after interviewing. 

 

I finally managed to pluck up the courage to tell my Uncle (who I feel has done me a huge favour in getting me the job) that I wasn't enjoying the role and I'd been offered a couple of positions at other places. I think he took it as a bit of a kick in the teeth after all he'd done for me tbh. 

 

Anyway, a couple of days later he calls to say he's found a temporary job at the same place of work which will be more suited to my skills, and then once the temp job is done there will be a new job open up within the business that he had already earmarked me for anyway, which again was more suited to my skills. 

 

A couple of months pass and I've finished this temporary role, I was really grateful of that time and it was nice to be able to work damn hard, but by the time 5pm came I could 'switch off', which is a big thing for me. Turned out this new role I was promised had been put back indefinitely and I had to go back to the old role, which I hated. 

 

So I've been back in that role since the end of October, again all feedback I'm getting is great and I feel I'm good at the job... But my anxiety is spiralling out of control. I didn't feel like I saw my young daughter half as much as I should have done over Christmas due to the long hours I was working, and when I did see her I wasn't in the best of moods, which as much as I wanted to snap out of, I just couldn't. 

 

So here I am, majorly depressed and anxious, both things I've had before (I went to my GP a couple of years ago who said I was severely depressed) but I've always just got on with it in hope better days are on their way. Trouble is, this time I can't see a way out, I just feel trapped in this job as I don't want to let my Uncle, or my colleagues down and obviously I'm trapped indoors due to the lockdown. 

 

I've took a weeks holiday this week, but all I've been doing is constantly dreading going back next Monday. I want to go see my GP and get signed off, but I've never done this and I'm scared of how my work are going to react, and also my Uncle who has done SO much for me. 

 

My partner tries to understand but everytime I try and talk about quitting, or leaving my job she worries about money, which I understand completely... I'm just stuck in a shit situation it seems. 

 

21 hours ago, That_Dude said:

I must say that I'm really starting to feel how much this pandemic situation is draining people, especially for singles.

 

For the first time in life, I spent my winter holidays including Christmas, the new year and my birthday in my home, completely alone. Not by choice but principally because of Covid and some unfortunate events. Aside from a few calls here and there, I had to sing sometimes to remember the sound of my own voice.

 

Never felt so low. I'm going to work with no motivation whatsoever and have to fight with myself every morning to even get out of bed. Can't remember the last time I went out, there's no end to this shitty pandemic and where I am, people of my category won't get a vaccine until next December at best.

 

16 hours ago, Strokes said:

I’m really struggling with motivation  too at the minute and I’m self employed and usually quite driven. 
I think it’s the monotony of home life, working on my own and the long nights at the minute killing my spirit. Also I usually use forthcoming holidays to boost my morale but I can’t see them happening and it’s just depressing. I’ve just been told my contract will be terminated in January for the role I’m currently doing and I probably should be worried but I’m just ambivalent too it and I’m more concerned about my mental state, as I know what path it tends to go down when I stop giving a fùck about everything.

 

3 hours ago, Mapperleyfox said:

Great thread and I feel for everyone going through their own personal challenges.

 

First things first, my problems seem incredibly trivial in comparison but i guess it's a subjective topic. Been working from home since last March with no face to face with colleagues apart from video calls. It's hard to do my job remotely so I'm constantly frustrated and feel detached.

 

Plus since March I've been stuck at home with the missus and her two kids 24/7 which isn't easy and with escapism, no football to go to and pubs and restaurants shut I have hardly seen mates or family in proper social circumstances, which is really important to me.

 

Then there's travelling which i love doing, so i can't plan anything in for the future which i know would give me something to look forward to.

 

Basically like most people everything i enjoy doing has been taken away from me and i have no idea when it's coming back. 

It's disappointing to see so many of us are having a hard time right now but it's no surprise, and it is heartening to see everyone coming together.

 

Keep going, hold on to the positives and keep talking gents. None of you are alone. I wish all of you the best.

 

 

[Ian Nacho]

On 01/01/2021 at 22:15, Ian Nacho said:

Not the best few weeks. Feeling like I have a limited purpose in life at the moment. The good thing is that I know what I need to do to change that, but the rona makes it 10x harder. The whole song and dance of trying to get my “first proper job” can be demoralising at times. I must be getting on for 100 applications and all I get is the same old “unfortunately” email. Being treated as an algorithm through various situational judgement tests and not a person can be really disheartening. Just got to get through it I suppose. 

Things are on the up. Just bagged myself a very decent job. 

[Alf Bentley]

On 07/01/2021 at 21:20, Strokes said:

I’m really struggling with motivation  too at the minute and I’m self employed and usually quite driven. 
I think it’s the monotony of home life, working on my own and the long nights at the minute killing my spirit. Also I usually use forthcoming holidays to boost my morale but I can’t see them happening and it’s just depressing. I’ve just been told my contract will be terminated in January for the role I’m currently doing and I probably should be worried but I’m just ambivalent too it and I’m more concerned about my mental state, as I know what path it tends to go down when I stop giving a fùck about everything.

 

I can relate to this re. the difficulty of isolation working at home, particularly when you can't easily get out for the odd evening or day to add some spice to life.

 

I'm also absolutely the same in using the prospect of future holidays to boost morale. Are you not being a wee bit pessimistic in not being able to see holidays happening?

 

I'm resigned to being stuck at home for at least the next 2-3 months and finding the odd way of making that tolerable (phoning friends, going for local walks, pursuing projects).

But that self-motivation of future holidays is still there for me. I'm still hopeful that trips away will be possible by late spring or summer, even if the crisis isn't fully over. 

 

Good luck with your work situation - and personally I reckon you should reinstate your future holiday morale-booster. Easier said than done, I know, and most of us are finding this tough to varying degrees, I think.