Anyone Ever Just Quit Because It All Got Too Much?

[SecretPro]

So, I work for the Civil Service. We used to be an office of 56, now an office of 16. My team of 8, in the last 3 months has just become a team of 2 (me and one other who is part time 2 days per weed). The work, over these years, has increased (so I'm now doing the job of 4 people equivalent), due to the pay cap I havn't had a pay-rise in 10 years. Management do not care about the staff, only the stats, and due to an overhaul of the department nationwide there is a recruitment freeze and no chance of replacing anybody that leaves. I'm now feeling very ill (previously had bouts of depression which I was medicated for).

 

Aside from that I have a wife (we can't have children, went through IVF 2 years ago, failed, can't afford any more). I study for a degree in Natural Biology and Environmental Science in the evenings and over the weekend. I also volunteer in wildlife conservation/habitat management as an aside to the degree for experience when it comes to looking into finding a job that is degree related. I have a very limited support network, no family with money, my house is rented.

 

Also currently going through the process of sorting out mother/father in law - MIL is not in a good way but the stubborn type who doesn't want to take help or advice. Father in law has dementia and after attacking Mother in law 2 weeks ago to the point where the Police said they couldn't reside together it's been a mad rush to get him in a care home, organise their finances, get social services paperwork in etc. My wife is basically losing the plot now because she's running around here, there and everywhere with things to do every night and it's getting to much for her too. At 32, because of ongoing issues with her parents, she feels she hasn't live the life she should have, had the same opportunities as others or had the power to do any of those things. The whole thing is a mess.

 

I have no spare time without giving up the degree/volunteering which seems counter productive as it's the only thing I actually care about, so time for applying for jobs etc it very limited and stressful. I do not have enough savings to even cover a months rent (and that's not because we dish money about, it's because the cost of living and our wages are about equal, we maybe end up with £250 a months for non-essentials but then obviously things come up ie Car tax, MOT, insurance, things break etc.

 

At this point I'm crying on Sunday nights and barely sleeping most nights. I feel out of my depth, trapped and basically cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel. I basically can't cope anymore. I see that I have no choice but to walk out of work and hope for the best. Obviously I know I don't have the financials to do this, but I can't think of anything else to do other than take the risk and hope that I don't end up on the streets in 4 weeks time, or worse. I'm starting to have dark thoughts. 

 

Anyone got any advice on what the hell I can do to sort this situation out?

 

 

[ozleicester]

Wow, sounds tough and im sorry you have so many difficulties. I wish i could offer something useful. As a first step, can i recommend speaking to a GP and talking about how you are feeling, its really important you share. Talk to family, talk to anyone who will listen, its really important to talk.

 

Im sorry its not much and hopefully others here will be more assistance, but dont give up.

 

[Nalis]

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that.

 

Like oz said, there are a lot of people on here who will have excellent advice.

 

What does your wife do? Sometimes you dont have to think big about lifestyle changes. If you cant have kids and you like the outdoors then see about getting a dog?

 

In terms of your degree and volunteering perhaps build up contacts you never know what opportunities might come from that, talk to others who have a careee in what you what to do and find out how they got there. It also might give you the drive to think that sticking with your job short term wont be so painful as you can see an 'out' in what you love doing.

[fuchsntf]

1 hour ago, SecretPro said:

So, I work for the Civil Service. We used to be an office of 56, now an office of 16. My team of 8, in the last 3 months has just become a team of 2 (me and one other who is part time 2 days per weed). The work, over these years, has increased (so I'm now doing the job of 4 people equivalent), due to the pay cap I havn't had a pay-rise in 10 years. Management do not care about the staff, only the stats, and due to an overhaul of the department nationwide there is a recruitment freeze and no chance of replacing anybody that leaves. I'm now feeling very ill (previously had bouts of depression which I was medicated for).

 

Aside from that I have a wife (we can't have children, went through IVF 2 years ago, failed, can't afford any more). I study for a degree in Natural Biology and Environmental Science in the evenings and over the weekend. I also volunteer in wildlife conservation/habitat management as an aside to the degree for experience when it comes to looking into finding a job that is degree related. I have a very limited support network, no family with money, my house is rented.

 

Also currently going through the process of sorting out mother/father in law - MIL is not in a good way but the stubborn type who doesn't want to take help or advice. Father in law has dementia and after attacking Mother in law 2 weeks ago to the point where the Police said they couldn't reside together it's been a mad rush to get him in a care home, organise their finances, get social services paperwork in etc. My wife is basically losing the plot now because she's running around here, there and everywhere with things to do every night and it's getting to much for her too. At 32, because of ongoing issues with her parents, she feels she hasn't live the life she should have, had the same opportunities as others or had the power to do any of those things. The whole thing is a mess.

 

I have no spare time without giving up the degree/volunteering which seems counter productive as it's the only thing I actually care about, so time for applying for jobs etc it very limited and stressful. I do not have enough savings to even cover a months rent (and that's not because we dish money about, it's because the cost of living and our wages are about equal, we maybe end up with £250 a months for non-essentials but then obviously things come up ie Car tax, MOT, insurance, things break etc.

 

At this point I'm crying on Sunday nights and barely sleeping most nights. I feel out of my depth, trapped and basically cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel. I basically can't cope anymore. I see that I have no choice but to walk out of work and hope for the best. Obviously I know I don't have the financials to do this, but I can't think of anything else to do other than take the risk and hope that I don't end up on the streets in 4 weeks time, or worse. I'm starting to have dark thoughts. 

 

Anyone got any advice on what the hell I can do to sort this situation out?

 

 

I am going to try..because I have always been somebody else's shoulder...

Go to the forum on depression,and you will see you are not alone....

In some part or sometime in our lives that light seems so bloody far away.

 

Like all problems, hiccups in our lives,the biggest headache is seemingly the problems are mounting..

In our lives we all go through trials and tribulations,first is accepting the sticky-patches and like any job,

and issues on or around your workspace, one has to look at those accumulation of issues,and sort to your own strengths...prioritise,check and bucket list what has to be done. look at yourself and understand each event/issue/task and  it's time to action,mentally prepare,and mentally to fade out from those events that will eventually pass, so you can take on the steps within each task or move onto the next task. Some like work will need multitasking ,but we all do that in our lives at some level or other....

it's about,saying..hey snowman(they always melt) there!!!  Take a breather ,reaccess in  peace and not stress,and then work out in your own minds-eye, how much and exactly what is on the table...It's a process we do everday, we get up,put the kettle on,get dressed...or even the other way around,before we have to leave the house each thought and action has taken its allotted time,even if you alternate them,they still have to be done...!!! At work,at home,or socially. when birth,death,illness,passes our doorsteps,

and it will,  we all have to be part of those events,sometime the one who shares or one who takes the lead....like at home,at work...or getting around your life of lives.

Most importantly accept those tasks has normal...Moving house,illness of parents,or partner...take i n the same breath has washing or heating on the blink!!! sky tv,being good,being miserable...ditto relations/workmates...hey even a good or miserable boss is human...

Because we sometime s get more upset with the small problems,forgetting the other higher ones...

 

Life s endeavours are our challenges,it's not the triumph one should seek,but the idea that you organise your life with and through them,no medals at the end,

but simple  individual acceptance and satisfaction that you can slowly take them on,and manoeuvre then when necessary prioritise....

Everybody ,all of us including you, do this everyday ..either again at home, work,or numerous pastimes..Some do it naturally,with little forethought,others take awhile,some longer conscientiously and delibrately....

Someone has to decide do you need a tv,how do I connect it,who turns it on everday,who chooses the program,

Who has the remote,....and fk it!!!  Where did I put the remote!!

 

Whether we believe it or not or whether,a cashier,Roadsweeper,lawyer,bookmaker,technician,civil-servant,employed,self-emp!oyed...we all have or will have those same issues....And somewhere someday, we have to buy those bloody batteries,when we eventually find that remote!!!

sometimes for somebody else we have to be those batteries,and even that remote!!!

 

Before quitting,try a new channel with the same broadcaster...

[Sharpe's Fox]

If the degree is too much and you don't want to give up your volunteer and conservation work maybe you can get support from the university to postpone any deadlines and work short term? Universities are usually good with mental health support also which you could utilise.

[Horibbly Wrong]

A truly stressful job can lead to all sorts of problems.  Try to tackle the workload, if that means saying no at work then say it.  If you are failing deadlines as you are being asked to do others work then let it fail. 

 

If you can control this, then you will begin sleeping again.  You will then feel able to help with your wifes' family issues and so on..

[stripeyfox]

hello mate, didn't want to just read and run. 

 

I'm not sure I have the answers for you as your post covers an array of issues and it probably feels like you're really in the thick of it. Any one of those issues you could probably handle on it's own but combined it is too much.

 

It sounds like between you and your wife you have an enormous amount on your plate. Crying. not sleeping and feeling worthless  (like you say your wife feels) are signs of depression and if you've suffered before then it you really need to reach out. Like @fuchsntf says, I'd definitely have a good read of the "Depression" thread. it is a tremendous depository of knowledge, help, advice, support and love.

 

Can you get signed off work by your doctor? Walking out of your job would seem to be a last resort, especially with no safety net and is probably going to make you situation even more dire (financially)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Crinklyfox]

4 hours ago, SecretPro said:

So, I work for the Civil Service. We used to be an office of 56, now an office of 16. My team of 8, in the last 3 months has just become a team of 2 (me and one other who is part time 2 days per weed). The work, over these years, has increased (so I'm now doing the job of 4 people equivalent), due to the pay cap I havn't had a pay-rise in 10 years. Management do not care about the staff, only the stats, and due to an overhaul of the department nationwide there is a recruitment freeze and no chance of replacing anybody that leaves. I'm now feeling very ill (previously had bouts of depression which I was medicated for).

 

Aside from that I have a wife (we can't have children, went through IVF 2 years ago, failed, can't afford any more). I study for a degree in Natural Biology and Environmental Science in the evenings and over the weekend. I also volunteer in wildlife conservation/habitat management as an aside to the degree for experience when it comes to looking into finding a job that is degree related. I have a very limited support network, no family with money, my house is rented.

 

Also currently going through the process of sorting out mother/father in law - MIL is not in a good way but the stubborn type who doesn't want to take help or advice. Father in law has dementia and after attacking Mother in law 2 weeks ago to the point where the Police said they couldn't reside together it's been a mad rush to get him in a care home, organise their finances, get social services paperwork in etc. My wife is basically losing the plot now because she's running around here, there and everywhere with things to do every night and it's getting to much for her too. At 32, because of ongoing issues with her parents, she feels she hasn't live the life she should have, had the same opportunities as others or had the power to do any of those things. The whole thing is a mess.

 

I have no spare time without giving up the degree/volunteering which seems counter productive as it's the only thing I actually care about, so time for applying for jobs etc it very limited and stressful. I do not have enough savings to even cover a months rent (and that's not because we dish money about, it's because the cost of living and our wages are about equal, we maybe end up with £250 a months for non-essentials but then obviously things come up ie Car tax, MOT, insurance, things break etc.

 

At this point I'm crying on Sunday nights and barely sleeping most nights. I feel out of my depth, trapped and basically cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel. I basically can't cope anymore. I see that I have no choice but to walk out of work and hope for the best. Obviously I know I don't have the financials to do this, but I can't think of anything else to do other than take the risk and hope that I don't end up on the streets in 4 weeks time, or worse. I'm starting to have dark thoughts. 

 

Anyone got any advice on what the hell I can do to sort this situation out?

 

 

It seems to me that your employer is making you ill.  None of us have an infinite capacity for work, all of us have a breaking point.  Stress is manageable only in the short term and longer than that it will do damage to you.  Shedding people for 'efficiency' savings can only go so far - the final result when it has gone too far is that highly trained people leave because they can't take the strain and this is bad for the employer.  If the management can't see this then they're not good managers (I used to be a manager BTW).

 

You may have to get out to preserve your health which is more important than your job.  I had the misfortune of seeing chap I knew take on more and more work from his employer until he had a mental breakdown which ruined his life.  Please don't let this happen to you.  Start seriously looking for another job, there are always opportunities for people with talent.  Even if an ideal job isn't available right now you could potentially go for something less stressful to tide you over for the time being.

 

I've found that personally I could cope with stress at home if work was OK, or stress with work if home was OK, but not both, there's no relief from the pressure.  And you seem to have more than enough stress in your personal life at the moment, much of it unavoidable.

[urban.spaceman]

Ten years ago I quit my job in retail and used some money I’d saved up to fly to Botswana and buy a car, then I spent 6 months just travelling, writing and drinking. I wish I’d never come back; sometimes this country my absolute enemy - work work work for very little pay, very little enjoyment out of life and too many worries on things that, when you live elsewhere, don’t really matter. I know it’s probably just me but I ****ing hate the person I become when I’m in this country. Travel should be prescribed on the NHS.

[Babylon]

What are your sick pay conditions like? Sounds to me like a prime case of talking to your GP to sign you off so that you can get some respite and take care of other issues for your own mental and physical well being.

 

If work have reduced the workforce to the point of you having to do ridiculous amounts, then you need to step back and say no more. I have professional pride and it won't let me give less than 100% when I'm in the building. But I'm not going to work myself into the ground for anyone, in the end it just isn't worth it mate. Did it for years and the harder you worked the more people took the piss, whilst those with a "don't give a shit" attitude never got dumped on or asked to do more and more and more.

[SecretPro]

8 minutes ago, urban.spaceman said:

Ten years ago I quit my job in retail and used some money I’d saved up to fly to Botswana and buy a car, then I spent 6 months just travelling, writing and drinking. I wish I’d never come back; sometimes this country my absolute enemy - work work work for very little pay, very little enjoyment out of life and too many worries on things that, when you live elsewhere, don’t really matter. I know it’s probably just me but I ****ing hate the person I become when I’m in this country. Travel should be prescribed on the NHS.

Pretty much how I feel. A young(ish) married couple without kids literally gets **** all from anyone other than told to work to the bone and put up and shut up. Hate the system, hate the very fact that each of us gets about 80 years on this planet and the general ethos is 'get born, work, die' like that's some kind of life or achievement? It's all so wrong.

[SecretPro]

9 minutes ago, Babylon said:

What are your sick pay conditions like? Sounds to me like a prime case of talking to your GP to sign you off so that you can get some respite and take care of other issues for your own mental and physical well being.

 

If work have reduced the workforce to the point of you having to do ridiculous amounts, then you need to step back and say no more. I have professional pride and it won't let me give less than 100% when I'm in the building. But I'm not going to work myself into the ground for anyone, in the end it just isn't worth it mate. Did it for years and the harder you worked the more people took the piss, whilst those with a "don't give a shit" attitude never got dumped on or asked to do more and more and more.

I get full pay on sick (for 3 months I think) but Government have recently changed the specifics regarding timescales/periods of absence etc and in my department (not sure if it's the same elsewhere) they can literally put a case forward to terminate your contract after so long (and it's not long, 21 days I think). 

 

Definitely a case of the harder you work the more people take the piss - the problem is, I'm constantly told to leave stuff by the wayside and then they will have to actually do something about it - which doesn't work because: 1. management/department have just stopped caring due to the overhaul we are going through, nobodies job is safe in 12 months time in any event and so the whole department, nationwide has just given up caring. 2. I'm the sucker that if stuff starts piling up I can't mentally allow myself to leave it, sure I'll leave it and moan about it for a few days but then because it's not getting done It's like a trigger in my brain makes me do it anyway because I don't like half-arsing, leaving things half done etc. and 3. There is nobody left to shift my workload off onto - even If I went sick for a while, I'd come back to all the stuff that hadn't got done because I wasn't here, they'd just tell me to take my time, ease back in and then two weeks later when I've got nowhere start digging in and pilling on the pressure again.

 

In the whole of Government we are the department with the second highest level of work-related sick, been that way for years, I've seen many people go off on sick and just never come back, we are also now the lowest paid of all the Government departments and the one that has faced the most cuts (yet it never seems to make it to the press). The annual 'peoples survey' reported that only 17% of the entire workforce felt valued, that they were able to work effectively and were mentally well. 

[SecretPro]

Thanks for all the replies everyone. Tomorrow I'm going to take myself off to the Doctors and basically start looking for literally anything workwise, even if it's shelf stacking. I'd be quite happy with a monotonous, responsibility-free job for quite a while though they don't seem to come-up as often as they used to! I have been applying and networking etc trying to avoid taking a pay-cut, but I think I'm past that now, if it's less money, so be it.

[HighPeakFox]

Thoughts with you - I could add my further thoughts on why they're forcing workplaces such as yours to breaking point, but I'm not sure that would be helpful. Try to get something in place before you jump would be my advice - I once just quit with no plan and a lot of overheads, and it very nearly caught up with me.

[String fellow]

Be careful about taking any job that is very monotonous and without responsibility, especially if one has an active mind. Extreme boredom can easily result, causing as much stress as more pressured jobs.

[Izzy]

7 hours ago, SecretPro said:

So, I work for the Civil Service. We used to be an office of 56, now an office of 16. My team of 8, in the last 3 months has just become a team of 2 (me and one other who is part time 2 days per weed). The work, over these years, has increased (so I'm now doing the job of 4 people equivalent), due to the pay cap I havn't had a pay-rise in 10 years. Management do not care about the staff, only the stats, and due to an overhaul of the department nationwide there is a recruitment freeze and no chance of replacing anybody that leaves. I'm now feeling very ill (previously had bouts of depression which I was medicated for).

 

Aside from that I have a wife (we can't have children, went through IVF 2 years ago, failed, can't afford any more). I study for a degree in Natural Biology and Environmental Science in the evenings and over the weekend. I also volunteer in wildlife conservation/habitat management as an aside to the degree for experience when it comes to looking into finding a job that is degree related. I have a very limited support network, no family with money, my house is rented.

 

Also currently going through the process of sorting out mother/father in law - MIL is not in a good way but the stubborn type who doesn't want to take help or advice. Father in law has dementia and after attacking Mother in law 2 weeks ago to the point where the Police said they couldn't reside together it's been a mad rush to get him in a care home, organise their finances, get social services paperwork in etc. My wife is basically losing the plot now because she's running around here, there and everywhere with things to do every night and it's getting to much for her too. At 32, because of ongoing issues with her parents, she feels she hasn't live the life she should have, had the same opportunities as others or had the power to do any of those things. The whole thing is a mess.

 

I have no spare time without giving up the degree/volunteering which seems counter productive as it's the only thing I actually care about, so time for applying for jobs etc it very limited and stressful. I do not have enough savings to even cover a months rent (and that's not because we dish money about, it's because the cost of living and our wages are about equal, we maybe end up with £250 a months for non-essentials but then obviously things come up ie Car tax, MOT, insurance, things break etc.

 

At this point I'm crying on Sunday nights and barely sleeping most nights. I feel out of my depth, trapped and basically cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel. I basically can't cope anymore. I see that I have no choice but to walk out of work and hope for the best. Obviously I know I don't have the financials to do this, but I can't think of anything else to do other than take the risk and hope that I don't end up on the streets in 4 weeks time, or worse. I'm starting to have dark thoughts. 

 

Anyone got any advice on what the hell I can do to sort this situation out?

 

 

 

1 hour ago, SecretPro said:

Thanks for all the replies everyone. Tomorrow I'm going to take myself off to the Doctors and basically start looking for literally anything workwise, even if it's shelf stacking. I'd be quite happy with a monotonous, responsibility-free job for quite a while though they don't seem to come-up as often as they used to! I have been applying and networking etc trying to avoid taking a pay-cut, but I think I'm past that now, if it's less money, so be it.

Just be careful you don't sell yourself short mate in the desperation of wanting to leave your current job.

 

Sounds like you've got a lot of experience of managing people and remember, these are sought after skills.

 

Not all companies/businesses/organisations have the same culture as your current employer. It's perfectly reasonable and achievable to find a decent job on the same pay you are on now, but without the stress and long hours. 

 

No job is worth making yourself ill over. At the end of the day, you're just a number there I'm afraid. However, there are places of work where management do care about staff and their well-being.

 

What I'm saying is you can have your cake and eat it. There is a job out there for you that plays to your strengths, pays what you want, and doesn't kill you in the process. 

 

Look after yourself, be selfish and trust your instincts. Best of luck chap.

[reynard]

1 hour ago, SecretPro said:

Thanks for all the replies everyone. Tomorrow I'm going to take myself off to the Doctors and basically start looking for literally anything workwise, even if it's shelf stacking. I'd be quite happy with a monotonous, responsibility-free job for quite a while though they don't seem to come-up as often as they used to! I have been applying and networking etc trying to avoid taking a pay-cut, but I think I'm past that now, if it's less money, so be it.

Going to the doctor is the first positive step on the road to mending yourself. I know that is what all people say but I believe it is true. I myself recently had to admit that I was basically a broken human being. Two years of family attempted suicides and family deaths along with work simply took their toll. You've done the most difficult thing and admitted to yourself that there is a problem. This is the hardest of all the steps to recovery to take.

There is some good advice on the depression thread.

Your doctor might prescribe anti depressants and if so they may come with side effects. The first two weeks on them can be tough for you and for your wife. Stay strong for each other and you will come through this.

 

Good luck!

[Benguin]

As a permanent long term employee, you’ll almost definitely be entitled to at least two weeks, maybe even a month paid sickness before statutory sick pay. I’d take I’ll for a few weeks if I were you. Get some freedom to get your head straight and come up with a logical plan in this time, you will be able to think straighter with a clear head.

[Strokes]

I’ve jacked jobs before just over a disagreement, although it’s usually wise to line up another job before you do it.

I guess it’s a bit easier to do in the trades than it is in a more formal position. 

I will say this though, if it’s making you miserable then it has to go. Whether we like it or not work is a huge part of our lives, so it needs to be something you can take a bit of satisfaction in and maintain some self worth.

If you know your heading in the wrong direction, then you need to find the strength to turn it around. Best of luck.

[RobHawk]

Sit down with the Mrs, work out exactly what you both want from life and work backwards on how to get there. 

 

The system if working sucks, so maybe it's time to **** it off and live life on your terms. 

 

As for uni support, there is shit loads available. I issued to work in a university student support team so any questions about that let me know. 

[Horibbly Wrong]

15 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

Ten years ago I quit my job in retail and used some money I’d saved up to fly to Botswana and buy a car, then I spent 6 months just travelling, writing and drinking. I wish I’d never come back; sometimes this country my absolute enemy - work work work for very little pay, very little enjoyment out of life and too many worries on things that, when you live elsewhere, don’t really matter. I know it’s probably just me but I ****ing hate the person I become when I’m in this country. Travel should be prescribed on the NHS.

Did you write a book Urban?  I'd buy it

[Christoph]

I had similar feelings when I was a teacher. I sent an email around to a lot of local directors in property companies (commercial + residential) and got a reply back from a commercial property company for a role as a trainee surveyor. Had to take a hit on my pay but my life has changed for the better. I'm no longer stressed out and anxious and I get the weekends to myself. I do miss working in a school but having the stress reduced has made my life much better. 

 

 

[Analysethis]

Yeah as others have mentioned, that Depression thread is very useful for situations like yours mate.

 

The only thing I will add in here is the work perspective. If you have a contract for 40 hours, then work just 40 hours. Dont stress yourself out to do the job of 4 as you say, just do what you can and no more. Work needs respect when they treat you with respect and pay you for it. If you are being messed about dont quit just use them and look for another job if you arent happy where you are. As for the rest mate well as we get older more problems appear and need solving. As blokes we get it all slung on our shoulders but we learn to suck it up, analyse and give non-emotive responses. If anyone isnt pulling there weight then get them to pull there fingers out (like the inlaws more immediate family). There are always answers with a clear head mate so keep fighting.

[Izzy]

4 hours ago, Analysethis said:

Yeah as others have mentioned, that Depression thread is very useful for situations like yours mate.

 

The only thing I will add in here is the work perspective. If you have a contract for 40 hours, then work just 40 hours. Dont stress yourself out to do the job of 4 as you say, just do what you can and no more. Work needs respect when they treat you with respect and pay you for it. If you are being messed about dont quit just use them and look for another job if you arent happy where you are. As for the rest mate well as we get older more problems appear and need solving. As blokes we get it all slung on our shoulders but we learn to suck it up, analyse and give non-emotive responses. If anyone isnt pulling there weight then get them to pull there fingers out (like the inlaws more immediate family). There are always answers with a clear head mate so keep fighting.

I read an analogy that us blokes of a certain age with all this responsibility, end up leading our lives like a 'watering can' (bear with me) going around ensuring everyone and everything in our lives is continually growing. Our 'water' is our time, energy, focus and attention.

 

We dedicate a lot of our 'water' to our work and career (as this pays the bills)

We give a lot of our water to our wife/partner to keep that relationship alive and well

We give a shit load of our water to our kids to ensure they grow and thrive and lead a happy life

We're constantly watering the garden (literally) and keeping the house ticking over and maintained

We give some of our water to our friends and those social relationships that need us and lean on us for help and advice

We also give our water to our parents as they get old and need us more and more to support them as they get frail and weak

 

The thing is, who's keeping our water supply full and 'topping us up'? No-one is, so we must to do it ourselves.

 

We must make time for us, stay replenished and keep our own watering can full, so we can keep giving to others. Good diet, sleep, exercise etc. are essential otherwise our watering can is empty and we've nothing left to give (and we can become stressed, exhausted, burnt out and depressed)

 

[Jattdogg]

7 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I read an analogy that us blokes of a certain age with all this responsibility, end up leading our lives like a 'watering can' (bear with me) going around ensuring everyone and everything in our lives is continually growing. Our 'water' is our time, energy, focus and attention.

 

We dedicate a lot of our 'water' to our work and career (as this pays the bills)

We give a lot of our water to our wife/partner to keep that relationship alive and well

We give a shit load of our water to our kids to ensure they grow and thrive and lead a happy life

We're constantly watering the garden (literally) and keeping the house ticking over and maintained

We give some of our water to our friends and those social relationships that need us and lean on us for help and advice

We also give our water to our parents as they get old and need us more and more to support them as they get frail and weak

 

The thing is, who's keeping our water supply full and 'topping us up'? No-one is, so we must to do it ourselves.

 

We must make time for us, stay replenished and keep our own watering can full, so we can keep giving to others. Good diet, sleep, exercise etc. are essential otherwise our watering can is empty and we've nothing left to give (and we can become stressed, exhausted, burnt out and depressed)

 

Made me thirsty reading that.

 

 

 

But agree fully!