Football clichés that you can't stand

[ianormondroyd]

'Smash and grab' 

[Spudulike]

37 minutes ago, StevieLynex said:

Nowhere near as good as this Geoff:

 

 

Love that, especially as I was behind that goal. Not sure how we actually survived. I don't think I cared about the possible consequences when I was 15.

[old koppite]

3 minutes ago, Spudulike said:

Love that, especially as I was behind that goal. Not sure how we actually survived. I don't think I cared about the possible consequences when I was 15.

What an away end! 
I was there as a spotty teenager, in a stand alongside the pitch. Great day! 

[KFS]

“Busy Christmas period”

 

You mean the Championship schedule every week?  

[masterg59]

Mine pet hate is "I think (that's 5 goals in 7 games for whoever) insert any statistic. No you don't think, you know, it's on a piece of bloody paper in front of you.

[Guest StevieLynex]

John Motson: I rather fancy

Barry Davies: Oh, I say..just look at his face

Hugh Johns: One nothing Villa/Leicester/Derby

Brian Moore: Across the face of goal..Getting right in there

 

[shailen]

"You'd have put your house on him to score from there".

[Mike Oxlong]

“He’s an honest player”

 

Well thank goodness for that. I might leave my Rolex in the changing room on this occasion then. 

[Guest StevieLynex]

False 9

Wearing the famous 9/10 shirt

Playing in the hole

Hogging the touchline

Diamond formation

 

[oxford fox]

We gave away some cheap goals 

[Guest StevieLynex]

A cameo performance

Against the run of play

Playing between the lines

[Arriba Los Zorros]

A tactical masterclass aka a shithouse win.

[ianormondroyd]

'Parking the bus' which I think in old money is 'shutting up shop' 

[Golden Fox]

Just looked at a random article through this lens, and it's an absolute belter of an article... 

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/59077966

 

"are making their tournament bow"

 

"many people's dark horse"

 

"it's like it was written in the stars." 

 

"So we have that 12th person in the stadium, supporting us."

 

"It was like Christmas waking up this morning."

 

"Our girls go to work 9-5 every day"

 

"the possibilities are endless"

 

"went on to claim the trophy"

 

You couldn't script an article like that: it's a gift that keeps on giving! 

[DennisNedry]

"It evens itself out over the course of the season"

[gerblod]

'The problem is' (my personal cliché) is that we all use these 'c' words and phrases in our daily lives anyway, so calling out pundits and commentators for using them is the proverbial kettle calling the pot black (or avoiding snooker puns - the pot calling the kettle black). The English language is littered with clichés, because they simplify the communication between us. But their use as descriptors of footy and sport is simplistic and well past sell-by date (whoops - I meant tired/old). The best commentators find better ways of describing the action. The others resort to the easiest way. It's money for old rope .

[Golden Fox]

5 minutes ago, gerblod said:

'The problem is' (my personal cliché) is that we all use these 'c' words and phrases in our daily lives anyway, so calling out pundits and commentators for using them is the proverbial kettle calling the pot black (or avoiding snooker puns - the pot calling the kettle black). The English language is littered with clichés, because they simplify the communication between us. But their use as descriptors of footy and sport is simplistic and well past sell-by date (whoops - I meant tired/old). The best commentators find better ways of describing the action. The others resort to the easiest way. It's money for old rope .

Or as it was phrased in the book I was reading last night:

 

"it wasn't a very original line. But it was handy. It did the job. The reason that cliches become cliches is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication" 1

 

Extending that analogy, some people use hammers and screwdrivers as they are all they have to hand and know how to use them, whereas others like to use chainsaw discs for angle grinders and have some fun along the way.

 

1 Terry Pratchett - Guards! Guards!... a classic example of watching a TV show (The Watch) and then going & reading the book after...

[MrsJohnMurphy]

"His legs have gone!"

 

Usually about any player over 30 having a rough run of form

 

Or Vardy if he hasn't scored for about 3 games

 

Lots of guilty parties for this on Foxestalk

[sacreblueits442]

15 hours ago, StevieLynex said:

Roy of the Rovers stuff

Playing through the lines/ in the channels/ gullies (Ron Atkinson)

Good situations (Glenn Hoddle)

Laying siege

Weld cup (instead of World Cup) said by Cockney pundits

Punditry

Lawro/Keano/Wrightie

David versus Goliath

The twelfth man (fans)

Fans favourite

Hit the woodwork

...you might as well give up the game then!!!

  With so many triggers, how can you enjoy the game.

[Trav Le Bleu]

"If that had been on target, it would have been a goal."

 

 

Yeah, and if you had any talent, you wouldn't be a football commentator. 

[Guest StevieLynex]

Stalemate

The footballing Gods are smiling

Doing the Cruyff turn

Bullet header

Piledriver

 

[Ashley]

Does Wembley has a big pitch count?

[AyewJoking]

Not a cliche as such but the "experts" on MOTD always pick out the defensive errors when a goal is scored.

Defender X should be standing there, defender Y should be tighter on his man....

 

Probably 95% of goals scored are down to defensive errors so if these never happened they wouldn't have many goals to talk about.

[ceredigion]

''Points on the board'', ''dog's abuse'', ''gave him the eye'', ''stonewall penalty''.

[urban fox]

12 hours ago, Ashley said:

Does Wembley has a big pitch count?

Oh yes those wide open spaces and hallowed turf