Football clichés that you can't stand

[Wasyls Pec Deck]

Listen to Gary Neville say “Manchester United” when he’s having a meltdown. You will whince.

[Hammo]

I’ve seen ‘em given

[TJB-fox]

20 minutes ago, Wasyls Pec Deck said:

Listen to Gary Neville say “Manchester United” when he’s having a meltdown. You will whince.

I can hear this in my head haha. Ironically a lot of the cliches on here I initially read in Neville’s voice bizarrely. 
 

Not a discredit to G Nev either I love listening to him.

[Golden Fox]

This thread may have ruined watching football for me... 

 

Tonight I was hanging on every word but only managed to tick off "he'll be disappointed with that" and "very few keepers in the World would have stopped that". 

 

Did I miss any? 

[ianormondroyd]

Agueeeeeeeeeeeeroooooooo! 

 

I know it was only once, but makes me want to vom. Talk about trying to get yourself in the history books with iconic piece of commentary. Horrid! 

[UpTheLeagueFox]

7 minutes ago, ianormondroyd said:

Agueeeeeeeeeeeeroooooooo! 

 

I know it was only once, but makes me want to vom. Talk about trying to get yourself in the history books with iconic piece of commentary. Horrid! 

Oh come on, it was arguably the greatest, most dramatic in-game moment in PL history.

Martin Tyler's commentary on that is amazing. 

[Danizen]

22 hours ago, Aus Fox said:

Any mention of luck or unlucky - Football is a game of skill not luck. If you hit the post, it was a good effort but wasn’t good enough.

Keeper makes a great save, his skill level was better than yours.

Had a lot of possession and shots but just couldn’t score? You weren’t unlucky, you need to work on your finishing.

Only had one shot for the game and won 1-0, you didn’t get lucky, where it mattered you were better than the opponents.

I present to you, exhibit A:

 

 

[FoxesAreBlue]

Not so much a clicé but seems to be a trend that the football world has unwittingly picked up upon:

 

It’s the tendency of managers/players, when answering any interview or press conference, to begin every answer with a sharp intake of breath and say “Listen….” or “Look…”

 

It comes across to me as if they think they’re about to impart some heretofore unseen wisdom, that we, the mere mortals, could never have understood or spotted until they pointed it out.
 

Unfortunately what normally follow is the normal, media-trained non-comittal answer that we’ve all heard 1,000 times before.

[Duquesne Whistle]

12 hours ago, winteriscoming said:

Not really a cliche but Kris Boyd said on soccer Saturday last week - there’s no doubt that Steve Bruce is a human being. 
 

I first read this 12 hours ago and I'm still debating whether I agree with Boyd or not.

[Arkie Bennett]

2 minutes ago, Duquesne Whistle said:

I first read this 12 hours ago and I'm still debating whether I agree with Boyd or not.

I always get transfixed on his hair. 

[casablancas]

“But can he do it on a cold and wet Tuesday night in Stoke?” 
 

no one wants to be in Stoke. Oh and I Fcuking hate that saying. 

[purpleronnie]

7 hours ago, FoxesAreBlue said:

Not so much a clicé but seems to be a trend that the football world has unwittingly picked up upon:

 

It’s the tendency of managers/players, when answering any interview or press conference, to begin every answer with a sharp intake of breath and say “Listen….” or “Look…”

 

It comes across to me as if they think they’re about to impart some heretofore unseen wisdom, that we, the mere mortals, could never have understood or spotted until they pointed it out.
 

Unfortunately what normally follow is the normal, media-trained non-comittal answer that we’ve all heard 1,000 times before.

On a similar note. The phrase 'Too be Fair' used completely out of context...mainly by commentators. Clinton Morrison is a prime example, listening to him on sky sports last night commentating on the West ham penalties was bizarre, he genuinely said 'too be fair' 4 times in as many sentences, making him virtually unlistenable, not a trait a commentator wants.

[casablancas]

“Leicester still play counter attacking football”

 

“When Utd face what I call a real good side”

 

“You have to worry about Leicester when Vardy isn’t fit”

 

 

[TiffToff88]

21 hours ago, Scanchez said:

'Ooh my little willy just stood up like a solider'.

Have you been watching Youri Tielemans goals on Youtube again?

[OadbyBlue]

3 minutes ago, casablancas said:

“Leicester still play counter attacking football”

 

“When Utd face what I call a real good side”

 

“You have to worry about Leicester when Vardy isn’t fit”

 

 

Stuff like this makes you realise how little research most pundits actually do. It’s the same as “Maddison is dangerous from set pieces”, when his delivery is usually pretty poor.

 

Even last night the commentator suggested what sounded like Bissouma being booed by Leicester fans (presumably due to the nightclub assault story a few weeks back) was instead Brighton fans shouting “shoot”.

[Stadt]

“That man”

 

”It’s that man, Callum Wilson again!”

 

”Of course it was going to be none other than that man, Danny Ings”

 

Its irritating 

[majaco]

7 hours ago, FoxesAreBlue said:

Not so much a clicé but seems to be a trend that the football world has unwittingly picked up upon:

 

It’s the tendency of managers/players, when answering any interview or press conference, to begin every answer with a sharp intake of breath and say “Listen….” or “Look…”

 

It comes across to me as if they think they’re about to impart some heretofore unseen wisdom, that we, the mere mortals, could never have understood or spotted until they pointed it out.
 

Unfortunately what normally follow is the normal, media-trained non-comittal answer that we’ve all heard 1,000 times before.

Starting sentences like this has been common for maybe the last 15-20 years.   Politicians do it too.  Personally, I think starting sentences with these imperatives is rude.  I find it really annoying.

[shailen]

Must win 

[SystonFox]

There’s a podcast called “football cliches” and I emplore you to all listen to it. Incredible.

[suffolk fox]

Watching Arsenal Leeds the other night co commentator said Looking at Arsenals next six fixtures they have Chelsea, and Liverpool but look at their next two they have Leicester and Watford they should get something from those two.

[Arkie Bennett]

"Their tails are up."

 

I'm no zoologist, but it seems to me that generally animals lift their tails prior to doing a poo.

[ElusiveEd]

Any reference to the goal net being referred to as 'Onion bag" (Thankfully a very dated expression now, but I did hear it a few months ago)

 

Questions starting with..."How important is it to....." Whenever this question is asked the questioner always knows what answer is coming.

Be more original FFS.

[LaCiudad]

Harry Kane has been immense again for England.

 

Just lies. Completely against all evidence and reality.

 

 

Edited 28 October 2021 by LaCiudad

[MonkeyTennis?]

Occasionally you get some tactical insights and/or a little bit of humanity seeping through, but really almost everything that players and managers say in post-game interviews is asinine, cliched, bland and frustrating. 

 

I don't blame them - the questions they get asked are often stupid ('How did it feel to score today?' ), and I can understand that they are media-trained to avoid saying anything controversial for good reason, because often the tinest thing can set the twitter lot off. But sadly it means the game, and the experience of playing and managing the game, is treated and discussed in such a bland way. 

[Scanchez]

3 hours ago, TiffToff88 said:

Have you been watching Youri Tielemans goals on Youtube again?

I can't help myself.

AT EASE, SOLDIER!