Worst thing you've done in a job without being sacked?

[Sol thewall Bamba]

1 hour ago, jonthefox said:

Banged the bosses daughter and tried to give her the elbow on Monday morning 

Are you Matt Mills?

[Jattdogg]

During my rookie days in IT, running a Database update without proper "where" and rollback clauses in our live production database. Yup  didn't even test it out in DEV/UAT either lol.

 

Saved by my developer colleague before anyone found out.  Learned a valuable lesson that day and never again will i ever be in that situation!

[teblin]

Spent too much time on foxes talk?

[5waller5]

As a young man, In a very quiet site office, on a very quiet day, alone and unlikely to get any visitors I shut the door, got the Daily Sport out and took matters into my own hands….

 

The following day I was called in to head office to see my big boss. In a broad Yorkshire accent he asked if I’d been “tossing it off”. As I misunderstood him I thought he meant slacking / not working, so laughed it off and casually denied it. He said “oh that’s good cos Mrs X from plot 54 thought you were when she opened your office door yesterday, she rang in very irate”.

 

We laughed about what an idiot she is, and I stopped w@nking at work!! 

[Nolucklcfc]

Worked evenings at wilko a few years ago whilst at uni and it was our job to replenish stock. We were all young lads and so got the work done within about an hour of a 4 hour shift so we’d regularly end up playing football in the warehouse with one of the balls they were selling. Unfortunately once I absolutely twatted this ball (Tielemans fa cup final style)  across the warehouse and broke one of the strip lights from the roof and knocked over paint which went everywhere. None of us said owt and the next day they thought they’d been broken into. Never got done for it and got offered more hours. 

[murphy]

I was working (sort of) up in Merseyside and got chance to work in the Midlands for better pay.  Anyway, I kind of lied on my CV making out that I was more capable than I actually was, but what's the harm?   I thought, no one will ever find out.

 

Trouble is, they did find out.  My superior left for a job in France and I got promoted into his role.  I looked the part, wore the whole uniform and everything, but it was carnage. It was obvious that Ihad taken to the role like a fridge to water skiing, but the pay was so good I just had to brazen it out.  I think I just about got away with it. 

 

But that's the last time I pretend to be a goalkeeper. 

 

 

 

[fazzyfox]

2 hours ago, jonthefox said:

Banged the bosses daughter and tried to give her the elbow on Monday morning 

Hi Soyuncu, welcome to the forum! 

[splinterdream]

I delivered the free papers when I was a teenager, one week I couldn't be arsed so I dumped them down the riverbank thinking no ones gonna complain about not getting a free paper, a few days later the paper company phoned me and asked.if I'd delivered them, I said I had, then they told me someone had complained as the papers had blown all over the place, into their gardens and over the road. I then expected them to tell me I was sacked but instead they asked if I didn't do it again they'd bring my quota next week, I was gobsmacked but couldn't be arsed with it anymore so told them not to bother.

[VLC86]

Went away with a group of about 30 from work and they booked me a suite in a really nice hotel. I got absolutely smashed, ended up with everyone back at mine, smoking weed in my room and threw my bosses shoes out of the window.

 

Awkward meeting on Monday morning when then boss called us into a meeting to ask where her shoes went.

[adejo92]

3 hours ago, jonthefox said:

Banged the bosses daughter and tried to give her the elbow on Monday morning 

Proper kinky that, did she manage to take it?

[Vestan Pance]

I was director of football at a club that sold £500m worth of players, spent the cash on replacements and ended up getting relegated twice with a squad valued at £50m.

 

OK I'm lying it wasn't me😃

[Spudulike]

41 minutes ago, murphy said:

I was working (sort of) up in Merseyside and got chance to work in the Midlands for better pay.  Anyway, I kind of lied on my CV making out that I was more capable than I actually was, but what's the harm?   I thought, no one will ever find out.

 

Trouble is, they did find out.  My superior left for a job in France and I got promoted into his role.  I looked the part, wore the whole uniform and everything, but it was carnage. It was obvious that Ihad taken to the role like a fridge to water skiing, but the pay was so good I just had to brazen it out.  I think I just about got away with it. 

 

But that's the last time I pretend to be a goalkeeper. 

 

 

 

I've spent most of my working life winging it in various jobs. Never really any good at anything but must've been believable. Don't most people do that?

[SK3Blue]

4 hours ago, FerrisBueller said:

I used to regularly claim I was going out to a job site, then just drive to Birmingham or something, grab a maccies and then look at guitars.

Ferris Buellers day off?

[Claudio Fannieri]

2 hours ago, Sly said:

I was a graduate for a large machinery manufacturer in the early 00s.

 

I sent something to Mexico, instead of the US by mistake on a RORO boat. But that alone cost us about £20k. 
 

That in itself sound “that bad” but it was worth around £3m 

 

I couldn’t then get it re-exported, so I had to sort road transport from Mexico to Texas which came at another expensive cost. 
 

This took weeks and the customer was telling me he was losing 1000’s $$$$’s per day. 
 

All in all, all was forgotten as I was a good egg and generally the only person able to use a PC, as I changed everything to excel / email, to stop the reliance on a bloody fax machine!!! 

Are you Jon Rudkin and the shipment was it Adrien Silva 😂

[Lambert09]

What’s funny about a local forum like this, is there are some bosses sat on here reading and thinking ‘wait, I had an employee who someone said they saw wanking once’

Edited Monday at 19:59 by Lambert09

[OntarioFox]

2 hours ago, Nolucklcfc said:

Unfortunately once I absolutely twatted this ball (Tielemans fa cup final style)  across the warehouse and broke one of the strip lights from the roof and knocked over paint which went everywhere. None of us said owt and the next day they thought they’d been broken into. Never got done for it and got offered more hours. 

If you still know your boss, can you put a word in for Daka?

[Chrysalis]

I have generally been a good boy, but in one job where I knew I was valued, doing work above my pay grade, I noticed if I strolled in late, not a word was said to me and still got paid for the missed time, so was done a fair few times.  Sorry if its nothing more glamorous then that but I am no Rudkin.

[rugbyblue]

My first job at 16.  I worked with some older lads who i wanted to "get in with" being young and impressionable. 

One of them said to me, can you drive? 

For some reason i said yeah, course, even though i had never been behind the wheel ever.

Good he said, do us a favour and move my car away from the entrance before we open.

F*#k knows why but in my head i thought this would be easy. I had a vague idea of what i was supposed to do.  The reality was a sh*t load of revving and the car shooting forward through the boundary wall and ending up in the neighbours garden.  

Ill never forget an old lady at the bus stop opposite who had seen the whole thing just shaking her head for the longest time.

Luckily for me my boss eventually saw the funny side even though it cost him a bomb to rebuild the wall.  He actually blamed the lad who told me to move the car!🤣

Edited Monday at 22:42 by rugbyblue

[Skidmark]

Best thread for a while on here. 

 

 

[Gamble92]

44 minutes ago, Skidmark said:

Best thread for a while on here. 

 

 

Thanks. Even though you called me a psychopath.

[notnow john]

Am I the only one who was actually sacked for a mistake ??

You all seem to have got away with far bigger balls up than I was dismissed for.

[Skidmark]

4 hours ago, Gamble92 said:

Thanks. Even though you called me a psychopath.

I was only jesting. 

 

I've been in town earlier and did consciously look for bin men and thought 'I wonder if it's that intern.' 

[FoxesDeb]

Somehow managed to keep my job after eventually being caught leaving an hour early, every day, for years. 

[Trav Le Bleu]

22 hours ago, Jattdogg said:

During my rookie days in IT, running a Database update without proper "where" and rollback clauses in our live production database. Yup  didn't even test it out in DEV/UAT either lol.

 

Saved by my developer colleague before anyone found out.  Learned a valuable lesson that day and never again will i ever be in that situation!

Cos you were sacked?

[Trav Le Bleu]

20 hours ago, Lambert09 said:

What’s funny about a local forum like this, is there are some bosses sat on here reading and thinking ‘wait, I had an employee who someone said they saw wanking once’