The joke thread

[Parafox]

3 minutes ago, Wortho said:

Did you hear about the two bedbugs that are engaged?

They're getting married in the spring. . .

[Wortho]

Nowadays I can only ever seem to read when I'm having a poo, which is why I'm banned from the library.

[Benguin]

A friend of mine asked me if I could have any superpower what would it be?

 

I replied Cold War Russia 

[Alf Bentley]

9 hours ago, Wortho said:

Did you hear about the two bedbugs that are engaged?

They're getting married in the spring. . .

 

I heard that it's all off now.

 

The bride found the groom two sheets to the wind, so he's facing a blanket ban.

[Izzy]

20 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I heard that it's all off now.

 

The bride found the groom two sheets to the wind, so he's facing a blanket ban.

[Wortho]

My wife said she wanted to put the magic back in our sex life, and then pulled a rabbit out of a wizard's sleeve.

[Parafox]

56 minutes ago, Wortho said:

My wife said she wanted to put the magic back in our sex life, and then pulled a rabbit out of a wizard's sleeve.

[Wortho]

55 minutes ago, Parafox said:

You're a funny guy  

[Wortho]

I said to my mate, "My girlfriend keeps asking me if I'm an Alice in Wonderland character, and it's getting very annoying”.

"Are you mad at her?" he asked.

“Don't you start!"

[Facecloth]

19 minutes ago, Wortho said:

You're a funny guy  

At least someone is 

[Parafox]

On ‎07‎/‎06‎/‎2019 at 11:08, Wortho said:

You're a funny guy  

Possibly, but unlikely, funnier than you. 

[Beliall]

 

[Buce]

 

Mods!

 

@Wortho has hacked @Beliall's account!

[Beliall]

29 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Mods!

 

@Wortho has hacked @Beliall's account!

dude, that shit is FUNNY

[Wortho]

I've just seen a blind dog in the street shagging a cabbage.
Poor thing, probably thinks its a collie.

[Carl the Llama]

Why did the sperm cross the road?

 

Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.

[Wolfox]

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Si"

"Ja"

They say.

[Izzy]

On 21/06/2018 at 21:35, Izzy said:

Why did the sperm cross the road?

 

Because I put on the wrong sock this morning...

 

12 hours ago, Carl the Llama said:

Why did the sperm cross the road?

 

Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.

[Facecloth]

Carl told it better.

[Carl the Llama]

9 hours ago, Izzy said:

 

I am very sorry m'lud. It won't happen again m'lud.

[kingcarr21]

Why did the sperm cross the road?

 

Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.

[Buce]

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

It was following a trail of ejaculate to see where it led.

Edited 12 June 2019 by Buce

[Jon the Hat]

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?  

Poker face!

[Captain...]

On 11/06/2019 at 09:14, Carl the Llama said:

Why did the sperm cross the road?

 

Because I put on the wrong socks this morning.

And I thought it was because you fvcked the chicken. 

[fuchsntf]

On 07/06/2019 at 10:14, Wortho said:

My wife said she wanted to put the magic back in our sex life, and then pulled a rabbit out of a wizard's sleeve.

That idea worked for me!!!

I sawn the bitch in half, & a beautiful Maedele came outside the other side..

Edited 12 June 2019 by fuchsntf