The joke thread

[ozleicester]

On 21/11/2020 at 01:51, Izzy said:

I’d be surprised if Xmas crackers have jokes inside them about school teachers having anal sex with kids tbh

TBF it is a religious event so...

[Free Falling Foxes]

Yesterday my GP told me I would have to stop masturbating, when I asked why she said, 'I'm trying to examine you.'

[shen]

On 27/11/2020 at 20:56, Webbo said:

I went to the green grocers today and asked for a bag of potatoes.

 

He said "will you take King Edwards?"

 

I said "No, let him fetch his own".

That joke must've hit it's peak around 1936...

[davieG]

28 minutes ago, shen said:

That joke must've hit it's peak around 1936...

From in here probably

 

[tom27111]

23 minutes ago, davieG said:

From in here probably

 

 

[davieG]

13 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

 

I think he must have loaned it out to other foxestalkers as well.

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, tom27111 said:

 

You fvcker 

[UpTheLeagueFox]

Been blocked on Twitter by Gary Barlow. Something I posted clearly offended him.

I hope he can forgive me because whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it.

[Mike Oxlong]

You thought 2020 couldn't get any worse but Chris Rea's car has just failed its mot.

[Aus Fox]

7 hours ago, UpTheLeagueFox said:

Been blocked on Twitter by Gary Barlow. Something I posted clearly offended him.

I hope he can forgive me because whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it.

You just need to have a little patience, and evolve a little, it appears everything changes but you.

[Bob Weasel Fox]

I asked the estate agent if he had any bungalows in my price range. He said he only had houses. But that's another story.

[Bob Weasel Fox]

I've had enough of Christmas. All year long I work my fingers to the bone to buy all the presents that my kids ask for.

But what happens Christmas  morning? That fat ****er with a beard gets all the credit...

Still I suppose it's my own fault for marrying her!

Edited 5 December 2020 by Bob Weasel Fox

[Bob Weasel Fox]

One of the seven dwarves has been arrested for having sex with a giraffe...

He said the other six put him up to it!

[Mike Oxlong]

I was in the pharmacy waiting for my prescription when this pretty assistant started flirting with me .. So as I waited i couldn't help but ask , do you take it up the arse or do you swallow .. That was when she called the police .. You know to this day I still don't know what I’m supposed to do with my suppositories.

Edited 6 December 2020 by Mike Oxlong

[adam1]

Whats the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?

 

A genealogist looks up the family tree whilst a gynecologist looks up the family bush.

 

 

[adam1]

From the Guardian story on top 10 cracker jokes...

 

 

[Jimothy]

Didn't know @Izzy wrote for the Guardian.

[Alf Bentley]

Nos. 3, 5 and 7 raised a genuine grin there, @adam1

[The Fox Covert]

I was going to post the one about Boris Johnson and his Christmas cake but adam1 got in first.

So here is a different one.

There isn't a fake news thread on FT but the joke thread will do absolutely fine.

According to Healthbuzzline the IQs of the Trumps, often rumoured on social media, are (drumroll)

Donald Trump 156

Ivanka Trump 140

Barron Trump 146

Some people will believe anything!

[Izzy]

My wife finally left me because apparently I "keep over exaggerating everything"

 

Honestly, I was that shocked I nearly tripped over my cock.

 

 

[Jon the Hat]

24 minutes ago, The Fox Covert said:

I was going to post the one about Boris Johnson and his Christmas cake but adam1 got in first.

So here is a different one.

There isn't a fake news thread on FT but the joke thread will do absolutely fine.

According to Healthbuzzline the IQs of the Trumps, often rumoured on social media, are (drumroll)

Donald Trump 156

Ivanka Trump 140

Barron Trump 146

Some people will believe anything!

You leave Mr Stable Genius alone!

[Alf Bentley]

2 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

You leave Mr Stable Genius alone!

 

Is he a stable genius because of the amount of horseshit he produces?

[Leicester_Loyal]

[Aus Fox]

12 hours ago, Izzy said:

My wife finally left me because apparently I "keep over exaggerating everything"

 

Honestly, I was that shocked I nearly tripped over my cock.

 

 

Bloody hell Izzy, I pictured you being short, but didn’t realise you had lego legs.

[Jimothy]

13 hours ago, Izzy said:

My wife finally left me because apparently I "keep over exaggerating everything"

 

Honestly, I was that shocked I nearly tripped over my cock.