The joke thread

[Alf Bentley]

2 hours ago, fuchsntf said:

3 Santas walk into a pub......

 

Sorry no Punch line...

 

I havent got a..... get out.    claus

 

Judy walks into a pub......sorry, no Punch line........surely? 

 

Have a festive song........

 

 

[Wolfox]

Bloke just rang me & said, “I’m the dandy highway man who you’re too scared to mention. I spend my cash on looking flash & grabbing your attention.”

I tried to tell him he had the wrong number but he was adamant.

[HighPeakFox]

13 minutes ago, Wolfox said:

Bloke just rang me & said, “I’m the dandy highway man who you’re too scared to mention. I spend my cash on looking flash & grabbing your attention.”

I tried to tell him he had the wrong number but he was adamant.

That's some early cracker action you've had this year...

[Izzy]

The wife just said she's leaving me because of my obsession with video games.

 

What a stupid thing to Fallout 4

[Webbo]

4 minutes ago, Izzy said:

The wife just said she's leaving me because of my obsession with video games.

 

What a stupid thing to Fallout 4

[Izzy]

1 minute ago, Webbo said:

Really. But she's threatened to leave me before and that was because of my obsession with football chants.

 

I said "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING"

[Webbo]

2 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Really. But she's threatened to leave me before and that was because of my obsession with football chants.

 

I said "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING"

[Beliall]

heres to izzy making sure 2022 remains as exhausting as 2021 was in here

[Parafox]

11 hours ago, Izzy said:

Really. But she's threatened to leave me before and that was because of my obsession with football chants.

 

I said "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING"

My wife is much the same but it was her saying "You're sh1t, aaaaaaarrrrr"

[Wolfox]

I ordered a rapid test kit from the NHS
They sent me a DVD of the Ashes

[Webbo]

Glade have just announced a mind controlled air freshener.

 

Makes scents when you think about it.

[Parafox]

23 minutes ago, Webbo said:

Glade have just announced a mind controlled air freshener.

 

Makes scents when you think about it.

Edited 8 January 2022 by Parafox

[StanSP]

 

 

 

[Buce]

 

My wife drives me to drink.

 

Which is quite handy cos it's a fair walk to my local.

[Mike Oxlong]

 

 

[Aus Fox]

Blind prostitues, you’ve got to hand it to them.

[Mike Oxlong]

bought a lettuce from a greengrocers owned by The Mamas & the Papas but it’s already gone off. All the leaves are brown…

Edited 22 January 2022 by Mike Oxlong

[Aus Fox]

This morning as I was sitting on the toilet my phone rang, it was my boss letting me know I was late again!

I thought to myself, I really don’t have time for this shit!

[Aus Fox]

On 22/01/2022 at 14:49, Mike Oxlong said:

bought a lettuce from a greengrocers owned by The Mamas & the Papas but it’s already gone off. All the leaves are brown…

They would have been safe and warm, if you were in LA.

[Aus Fox]

I sent my hearing aids in for repair 3 weeks ago now, 

 

haven’t heard a thing since 

[Aus Fox]

On 22/01/2022 at 14:49, Mike Oxlong said:

bought a lettuce from a greengrocers owned by The Mamas & the Papas but it’s already gone off. All the leaves are brown…

Maybe they’re guilty of cauliflower dreaming…

[StanSP]

 

 

[Free Falling Foxes]

[Webbo]

A man and his wife are walking along the road when they see a man on the other side who looks just like the archbishop of Canterbury. 

 

The wife says to her husband "go and ask him if he is". 

 

The man goes over for a minute and then comes back. 

 

"What did he say?" 

 

"He told me to Fvck off!" 

 

The wife "Damn, now we'll never know". 

[fox_favourite]

Me and my other half were happy for 11 years…

 

 

…then we met