How Was Your Day?

[UpTheLeagueFox]

3 hours ago, Parafox said:

I hope my colleagues were the best. I hope she and you, get through as best you can. Laugh, Live, Love, as they say.

They were very kind and helpful.

She doesn't think she needs carers coming in to help but hopefully she gets used to them.

Me and my sister can't do everything for her.

[Alf Bentley]

10 hours ago, UpTheLeagueFox said:

They were very kind and helpful.

She doesn't think she needs carers coming in to help but hopefully she gets used to them.

Me and my sister can't do everything for her.

 

I had this sort of situation with my Dad 5-6 years ago.

It's absolutely understandable that the aging parent wants to maintain their independence, but can make it difficult for family & others trying to support, yet get on with their lives.

 

One thing that worked well, I found, was "picking my battles" with my Dad. If he didn't want to see a particular health visitor or to do a particular task on a particular day, I didn't seek to persuade him unless it was essential.

As a sort of unspoken negotiated process, he was then usually happy to see people when it was important and I did try to persuade him.

I suppose he felt that he thereby retained some of the power and independence he'd exerted over previous decades (must be tough losing that - I don't look forward to it, if I live that long).

 

I also spoke to the regular carers and made it clear to them that they'd have the family's support if they showed flexibility to his requests re. non-essential tasks: e.g. if, on a particular day, he didn't want a shave and just wanted a chat with the carer.

I imagine that otherwise carers may fear that they'll face family disapproval if all care tasks aren't done every day.

 

How things work out is bound to depend on your Mum's personality and on the personal skills of the carers, I imagine. We were lucky in that the most important people in my Dad's care regime (2 main carers, GP & Parkinson's specialist) were all excellent in that regard - competent, but respectful of him as an individual & aware of his personality (e.g. 1 carer was brilliant at balancing respect with humour to persuade him where possible, but knew when to insist and when to back down). So, it didn't matter if my Dad refused to see the "boring" matron or "bossy" physio or wanted to leave his hairwash until the next day or whatever.

 

It left some great memories, too - walking in to find my Dad and the carer sitting at the table telling ghost stories and cracking jokes. Or the time when the other carer timorously reported that, when offered a nice cup of tea, my Dad had requested a whiskey. Damn right that she'd done the right thing in giving it to him. If a bloke can't have a whiskey after 91 years, what's the world coming to?! 

 

Good luck!

[UpTheLeagueFox]

3 hours ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I had this sort of situation with my Dad 5-6 years ago.

It's absolutely understandable that the aging parent wants to maintain their independence, but can make it difficult for family & others trying to support, yet get on with their lives.

 

One thing that worked well, I found, was "picking my battles" with my Dad. If he didn't want to see a particular health visitor or to do a particular task on a particular day, I didn't seek to persuade him unless it was essential.

As a sort of unspoken negotiated process, he was then usually happy to see people when it was important and I did try to persuade him.

I suppose he felt that he thereby retained some of the power and independence he'd exerted over previous decades (must be tough losing that - I don't look forward to it, if I live that long).

 

I also spoke to the regular carers and made it clear to them that they'd have the family's support if they showed flexibility to his requests re. non-essential tasks: e.g. if, on a particular day, he didn't want a shave and just wanted a chat with the carer.

I imagine that otherwise carers may fear that they'll face family disapproval if all care tasks aren't done every day.

 

How things work out is bound to depend on your Mum's personality and on the personal skills of the carers, I imagine. We were lucky in that the most important people in my Dad's care regime (2 main carers, GP & Parkinson's specialist) were all excellent in that regard - competent, but respectful of him as an individual & aware of his personality (e.g. 1 carer was brilliant at balancing respect with humour to persuade him where possible, but knew when to insist and when to back down). So, it didn't matter if my Dad refused to see the "boring" matron or "bossy" physio or wanted to leave his hairwash until the next day or whatever.

 

It left some great memories, too - walking in to find my Dad and the carer sitting at the table telling ghost stories and cracking jokes. Or the time when the other carer timorously reported that, when offered a nice cup of tea, my Dad had requested a whiskey. Damn right that she'd done the right thing in giving it to him. If a bloke can't have a whiskey after 91 years, what's the world coming to?! 

 

Good luck!

That's really helpful, thanks mate.

 

[Buce]

 

I just picked up my daughter from college, and there was a middle-aged woman marching up and down outside opening and closing her coat, absolutely bollock naked underneath.

 

All very odd.

[StanSP]

10 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

I just picked up my daughter from college, and there was a middle-aged woman marching up and down outside opening and closing her coat, absolutely bollock naked underneath.

 

All very odd.

Definitely call the police...? 

[Buce]

Just now, StanSP said:

Definitely call the police...? 

 

Not personally, but they arrived shortly after I did, so somebody already had.

[Mike Oxlong]

1 hour ago, Buce said:

 

I just picked up my daughter from college, and there was a middle-aged woman marching up and down outside opening and closing her coat, absolutely bollock naked underneath.

 

All very odd.

 

1 hour ago, StanSP said:

Definitely call the police...? 

I think Stan meant did you speak to the fuzz ? 

Edited 15 March 2021 by Mike Oxlong

[Countryfox]

Bessie,  my old pick up, blew up the other day ...  smoke billowing out behind her ..  we have travelled the length and breadth  of the country together ..  over 100k miles and, until now, never let me down.   She also appeared in music videos and greeted me with a cheery brmmmm every morning.   I’m convinced her gearbox gave out but the local garage have assured me it was covid ...   

[Parafox]

16 minutes ago, Countryfox said:

Bessie,  my old pick up, blew up the other day ...  smoke billowing out behind her ..  we have travelled the length and breadth  of the country together ..  over 100k miles and, until now, never let me down.   She also appeared in music videos and greeted me with a cheery brmmmm every morning.   I’m convinced her gearbox gave out but the local garage have assured me it was covid ...   

You won't know for sure for the next 28 days.

[tom27111]

12 months ago, I said to the Mrs I'd fit a new kitchen.

 

Finally did my brick feature wall today.

 

Should have the room fully finished by November 2023 

 

Up to standard @Webbo?

 

I'm aware I don't use tile spacers as they are designed to be used 

 

 

[Webbo]

I'm not a tiler but it looks okay to me. I've seen spacers used like that before, nothing wrong with that.

[Izzy]

47 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

12 months ago, I said to the Mrs I'd fit a new kitchen.

 

Finally did my brick feature wall today.

 

Should have the room fully finished by November 2023 

 

Up to standard @Webbo?

 

I'm aware I don't use tile spacers as they are designed to be used 

 

 

Nah, nah, nah. It's not Webbo you need to be asking.

 

As always, It's @Strokes 

[tom27111]

9 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Nah, nah, nah. It's not Webbo you need to be asking.

 

As always, It's @Strokes 

But I don't have a problem that I can't fix 

[Strokes]

It annoys me that you’ve done all that nice work and not chopped the wall in to flush them sockets.

[tom27111]

4 minutes ago, Strokes said:

It annoys me that you’ve done all that nice work and not chopped the wall in to flush them sockets.

Not gonna lie mate, I literally have no idea what that means 

 

Edit... I think I know what you mean. So the box sockets are gone and they sit flat?

 

Thought about it, but too advanced for me and I'd rather spend the money on nicer stuff to go in there. 

 

 

But could it be done at a later date without affecting the wall?

Edited 16 March 2021 by tom27111

[Countryfox]

1 minute ago, tom27111 said:

Not gonna lie mate, I literally have no idea what that means 

And that’s probably why you haven’t done it ...

[Countryfox]

4 minutes ago, Strokes said:

It annoys me that you’ve done all that nice work and not chopped the wall in to flush them sockets.

Be honest ..  tell him straight ..  they look shite !!!  

[Strokes]

2 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

Not gonna lie mate, I literally have no idea what that means 

I mean before you tiled if you created a recess in the wall for them sockets they would sit flush, instead of proud.

It’s just a shame because the tiling looks great but they stick out like a soar thumb.

[tom27111]

16 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

But I don't have a problem that I can't fix 

 Ffs @Izzy

 

You had to tag him, so now I do have a problem I can't fix 

 

He did say it was nice work though 

[tom27111]

1 minute ago, Strokes said:

I mean before you tiled if you created a recess in the wall for them sockets they would sit flush, instead of proud.

It’s just a shame because the tiling looks great but they stick out like a soar thumb.

Yeah, I worked out what you meant. It's a solid brick wall behind that though and that's the neighbouring wall.

 

Not sure if I could have done it anyway? 

[Strokes]

1 minute ago, tom27111 said:

Yeah, I worked out what you meant. It's a solid brick wall behind that though and that's the neighbouring wall.

 

Not sure if I could have done it anyway? 

You could have.

Arguably, still could but it’d mean removing a few tiles. 

Edited 16 March 2021 by Strokes

[tom27111]

Just now, Strokes said:

You could have.

 

Ah well. 

 

You're right, would have looked so much better, but you should have seen it before 

 

I'll see if I can get someone to do it in a few months.

 

Quite fancy swapping them to stainless steel anyway.

 

I don't fvck about with electrics. 

 

I'm not bad at other stuff, but I'd almost definitely kill myself! 

[Strokes]

Just now, tom27111 said:

 

Ah well. 

 

You're right, would have looked so much better, but you should have seen it before 

 

I'll see if I can get someone to do it in a few months.

 

Quite fancy swapping them to stainless steel anyway.

 

I don't fvck about with electrics. 

 

I'm not bad at other stuff, but I'd almost definitely kill myself! 

Mate it’s 3 wires, it’s not rocket science.

Turn the power off, take the front of the two sockets off and take a photo of the connections.

Buy 2x metal 2 gang back boxes. Less than a quid and chop out a recess behind. If you do it with a multi tool you might not disturb the tiles. Then fix the boxes in, re connect the sockets and it will look wicked. 😁

[tom27111]

1 minute ago, Strokes said:

Mate it’s 3 wires, it’s not rocket science.

Turn the power off, take the front of the two sockets off and take a photo of the connections.

Buy 2x metal 2 gang back boxes. Less than a quid and chop out a recess behind. If you do it with a multi tool you might not disturb the tiles. Then fix the boxes in, re connect the sockets and it will look wicked. 😁

Do you know my Mrs? You sound just like her 

 

Thanks though, mate, I might give it a go.

 

If a job's worth doing and all that 

[Izzy]

#strokesknows