Depression

[Guest MattP]

7 minutes ago, lifted*fox said:

typed a whole thing out, can't post it. too shit. feeling shit. **** sake. 

Get well my friend 

[Crinklyfox]

On 21/04/2019 at 23:47, LcfcOk said:

Hi guys, 

I’m knew around here. And well, I’m a young man who goes to college, I don’t really think many people would realise, from the outside I appear outgoing. But I suffer from mild depression and have been doing so from around late January time. It’s tough, I feel isolated and cut off from the world. Things have improved slightly over the last few months with gym work and stuff, and I do know ways to help manage it. However, it’s hard, I still find it a challenge to combat these dark thoughts. My mates do know, however, I feel pretty distant from my mates as they do host stuff without me, eg a party tonight (which I wasn’t invited too) and stuff like when they go on nights out. Doesn’t really feel like I fit in. Ah well that was a load of waffle

No waffle that I can see.  I'm an old codger now so ignore me if you wish but I was young once and went to college.  Those who haven't been to college mostly don't realise how hard it can be and the stresses that it can bring.  I was lucky enough to have some good friends, we helped each other through the difficult times.  Reading your post I can't help thinking if your mates are really your mates because it doesn't look like they're providing that support to you.  You may need to branch out a bit but that means effort on your part which is difficult if you're feeling low, however the rewards are worth it.  I'm guessing that you will have some interests, things you like to do, and colleges are usually fairly decent at having groups that support interests - if not there's the wider local community.

 

You'll be approaching exam time this term so there may not be a lot of free time this academic year, but you could resolve to use your free time after exams to look around and see what's available.

 

Finally the dark thoughts.  You're not alone in getting them, there's an evil little voice that loves to tell you that you're inferior to everyone else, that you're no good at anything, that people don't like you, etc., etc.  I know that voice and it thrives when you're alone and unsupported and goes up in volume every time something you don't like, such as not being invited to a party, happens to you.  I attacked it from within.  I found Cognitive Behavioural Therapy of use, I didn't have any counselling but picked up a book after I was diagnosed as suffering from depression and read about it.  It's basically a way of putting your thoughts into the right perspective, not the biased view that the evil voice gives you.  Anyway it worked for me and even though I've never got rid of the voice now I can put it in its place.  It can't hurt to give it a try.

[LcfcOk]

5 hours ago, Crinklyfox said:

No waffle that I can see.  I'm an old codger now so ignore me if you wish but I was young once and went to college.  Those who haven't been to college mostly don't realise how hard it can be and the stresses that it can bring.  I was lucky enough to have some good friends, we helped each other through the difficult times.  Reading your post I can't help thinking if your mates are really your mates because it doesn't look like they're providing that support to you.  You may need to branch out a bit but that means effort on your part which is difficult if you're feeling low, however the rewards are worth it.  I'm guessing that you will have some interests, things you like to do, and colleges are usually fairly decent at having groups that support interests - if not there's the wider local community.

 

You'll be approaching exam time this term so there may not be a lot of free time this academic year, but you could resolve to use your free time after exams to look around and see what's available.

 

Finally the dark thoughts.  You're not alone in getting them, there's an evil little voice that loves to tell you that you're inferior to everyone else, that you're no good at anything, that people don't like you, etc., etc.  I know that voice and it thrives when you're alone and unsupported and goes up in volume every time something you don't like, such as not being invited to a party, happens to you.  I attacked it from within.  I found Cognitive Behavioural Therapy of use, I didn't have any counselling but picked up a book after I was diagnosed as suffering from depression and read about it.  It's basically a way of putting your thoughts into the right perspective, not the biased view that the evil voice gives you.  Anyway it worked for me and even though I've never got rid of the voice now I can put it in its place.  It can't hurt to give it a try.

Cheers mate. Some really good guidance in there and I do really appreciate your reply, as I do with everybody else on this thread. Regarding my mates, well they’re nice to my face and stuff but exclude me from things eg parties and stuff as I’ve said before. Which is frustrating.

And yeah, exams are lurking so I’m trying to focus on them really.

i just sometimes think if I disappeared who would be bothered?

[Crinklyfox]

3 hours ago, LcfcOk said:

Cheers mate. Some really good guidance in there and I do really appreciate your reply, as I do with everybody else on this thread. Regarding my mates, well they’re nice to my face and stuff but exclude me from things eg parties and stuff as I’ve said before. Which is frustrating.

And yeah, exams are lurking so I’m trying to focus on them really.

i just sometimes think if I disappeared who would be bothered?

The 'If I disappeared who would be bothered?' is an example of biased thinking.  Your parents (and I speak as one who has his own children) would probably spend the rest of their lives racked with guilt thinking that they had failed you if you disappeared.  

 

You're at college so you're intelligent.  Try to work out the odds of you actually existing.  There are millions of people in this world, any combination of man and woman other than your parents wouldn't have resulted in you.  So you've beaten odds that make winning the National Lottery look like a piece of cake.  And if you won the lottery would you throw it away?  No, you'd enjoy your winnings.  Maybe not today but there are lots of days to come and you have youth on your side.  Hang on in there.

[Paninistickers]

As an occasional contributor to this thread (it's both fascinating and cathartic) could I share - really to see if any other posters have similar - the odd feeling of suffering depression (lowish level, in my case) when things are going well?

 

When my work life or personal life is on a downer, I tend to react well and come out all guns blazing and to an extent, enjoy the battle

 

When things are all Tickety boo, that's when - for me and I guess others - the dark clouds gather. 

 

Funny world, innit?

[Izzy]

3 minutes ago, Paninistickers said:

As an occasional contributor to this thread (it's both fascinating and cathartic) could I share - really to see if any other posters have similar - the odd feeling of suffering depression (lowish level, in my case) when things are going well?

 

When my work life or personal life is on a downer, I tend to react well and come out all guns blazing and to an extent, enjoy the battle

 

When things are all Tickety boo, that's when - for me and I guess others - the dark clouds gather. 

 

Funny world, innit?

I hear ya mate and I know exactly what you mean.

 

I was ill during Xmas 17/New Year 18 and it took me a good six months to recover. As I'm self employed, I couldn't work and I watched my bank account get smaller and smaller as I kept paying the bills with no income coming in.

 

Between August last year and March of this year, I had to come out 'all guns blazing' and meet the challenge, otherwise we'd have been financially in the shit. I worked my ass off to get work in and the start of this year has been pretty lucrative as a result of all the graft and effort. Just today I've had three pretty large invoices paid and my bank balance is the healthiest it's looked for a long time.

 

Things look Tickety Boo and I should be really happy, but actually I'm now really bored and can feel myself sliding again. (I've won the short term battle so to speak)

 

I know it's all related to my thoughts and I know that I shouldn't trust them, but it's interesting to observe what's happening in my head now. It's obviously good to have the bottom three levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs met (psychological, safety, love/belonging) but the real fulfillment comes from the top two levels (self esteem and self actualization).

 

That's where the personal growth and fulfillment comes from, and just like a plant, if we're not growing then I guess we're dying...

 

[Costock_Fox]

I agree with the above, when life is just ticking along is where I struggle with my mood. One of the reasons I like to set myself personal challenges so I’ve always got something to aim for.

 

I found out a couple of days ago that my other half is struggling at the minute and there is absolutely no reason for it. Brilliant job, lovely home, husband is an absolute catch but feels down. It’s a strange one.

Edited 23 April 2019 by Costock_Fox

[HighPeakFox]

1 hour ago, Paninistickers said:

As an occasional contributor to this thread (it's both fascinating and cathartic) could I share - really to see if any other posters have similar - the odd feeling of suffering depression (lowish level, in my case) when things are going well?

 

When my work life or personal life is on a downer, I tend to react well and come out all guns blazing and to an extent, enjoy the battle

 

When things are all Tickety boo, that's when - for me and I guess others - the dark clouds gather. 

 

Funny world, innit?

Yes, it's often referred to as self-sabotage, and it's also related to imposter syndrome. 

[Costock_Fox]

6 hours ago, Costock_Fox said:

I agree with the above, when life is just ticking along is where I struggle with my mood. One of the reasons I like to set myself personal challenges so I’ve always got something to aim for.

 

I found out a couple of days ago that my other half is struggling at the minute and there is absolutely no reason for it. Brilliant job, lovely home, husband is an absolute catch but feels down. It’s a strange one.

Turns out this was probably bullshit and I’m probably being cheated on, top stuff.

[ozleicester]

2 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

Turns out this was probably bullshit and I’m probably being cheated on, top stuff.

that sounds crap mate, I hope you can sort things out and make sure you have someone unbiased to talk to, you need to keep communicating. Feel free to message me if i can help.

[Costock_Fox]

45 minutes ago, ozleicester said:

that sounds crap mate, I hope you can sort things out and make sure you have someone unbiased to talk to, you need to keep communicating. Feel free to message me if i can help.

Thanks, it’s all a bit ****ed up.

[Fosse93]

Had a major panic attack last night, after a few minor attacks in the last few weeks. Anyone else unfortunate enough to have experience of this? Scary stuff.

 

Think I may need to see the doc about some medication, I was majorly depressed/anxious this time last year but put it down to the stress of my new job and still getting to grips with being a dad. I went to my GP who offered me some meds but I declined, stupid decision looking back.

 

I just overthink everything, like putting the bins out is a major deal to me and small shit like that, going to get a drinks round in the office etc.

 

I build relatively minor situations up in my head to be this huge obstacle when other people can do these things without even thinking.

 

My brain is weird 

[Paninistickers]

7 hours ago, Costock_Fox said:

Turns out this was probably bullshit and I’m probably being cheated on, top stuff.

I think matey you shouldn't leave yourself in a 'I think I'm being g cheated on' limbo.....you need to 100% establish that right now, one way or the other. 

[Costock_Fox]

41 minutes ago, Paninistickers said:

I think matey you shouldn't leave yourself in a 'I think I'm being g cheated on' limbo.....you need to 100% establish that right now, one way or the other. 

Yep, not sure what to think. 

[Costock_Fox]

What’s the best avenue for support without medication which is a no go.

[stripeyfox]

5 hours ago, Costock_Fox said:

Yep, not sure what to think. 

so what's the reasons for "thinking" you are being cheated on mate? Is it paranoia or is there some soft or hard evidence? 

 

very difficult to work out the exact situation sometimes. 

[Costock_Fox]

4 minutes ago, stripeyfox said:

so what's the reasons for "thinking" you are being cheated on mate? Is it paranoia or is there some soft or hard evidence? 

 

very difficult to work out the exact situation sometimes. 

I have some evidence but they have claimed it’s just flirting which I believe.

 

The issue is now more the o/hs mental state which is a huge worry.

[Izzy]

10 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

What’s the best avenue for support without medication which is a no go.

If you can afford it, I'd look at private counselling mate.

 

I paid about £40 per hour session and it was the best money I ever spent.

 

My therapist was certified in the 'Gestalt' approach and here's a link to Gestalt practitioners in Leicester.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/gestalt/eng/leicester

 

They usually do an assessment first to make sure the client/therapist is the right 'fit' and then go from there.

 

Best of luck mate  

 

[Buce]

14 minutes ago, Costock_Fox said:

What’s the best avenue for support without medication which is a no go.

 

Your/her GP should be your first contact, mate. Ask for a referral. 

 

If it’s urgent and you have the money, going private will be much quicker. 

[Costock_Fox]

8 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Your/her GP should be your first contact, mate. Ask for a referral. 

 

If it’s urgent and you have the money, going private will be much quicker. 

Thanks, it’s difficult with the work situation but will have a think. 

[lifted*fox]

I think everything got on top of me a couple of days ago. I ran everything too close to the sun and got stuck in a loop of getting zoned out to try and get by. I managed to break the cycle and took a rest day yesterday. No gym, no drugs, no drink, just sleep. I literally slept about 22 out of 24 hours. I woke up today feeling a little better and most positive. Back to yoga, back to gym. 

 

Gonna try and keep my mind clean now and hopefully help with some big decisions. Thanks to anyone who reached out to me, it means a lot. 

 

I see we have some new strugglers in here. Again, as always, I'm available. If you fancy a beer, or water, a game of pool, a chat, whatever, hit me up via PM. I've met up with a few 'strangers' recently and the outcomes have been very positive. I hope perhaps I can help some of you in the same way. Reach out if you need me. 

 

Edit: lol, most unstable appearing guy offering stability. 

Edited 24 April 2019 by lifted*fox

[Buce]

2 hours ago, Costock_Fox said:

Thanks, it’s difficult with the work situation but will have a think. 

 

Priorities, mate.

 

Yours and your wife's health comes before work every time.

[stripeyfox]

1 hour ago, lifted*fox said:

I think everything got on top of me a couple of days ago. I ran everything too close to the sun and got stuck in a loop of getting zoned out to try and get by. I managed to break the cycle and took a rest day yesterday. No gym, no drugs, no drink, just sleep. I literally slept about 22 out of 24 hours. I woke up today feeling a little better and most positive. Back to yoga, back to gym. 

 

Gonna try and keep my mind clean now and hopefully help with some big decisions. Thanks to anyone who reached out to me, it means a lot. 

 

I see we have some new strugglers in here. Again, as always, I'm available. If you fancy a beer, or water, a game of pool, a chat, whatever, hit me up via PM. I've met up with a few 'strangers' recently and the outcomes have been very positive. I hope perhaps I can help some of you in the same way. Reach out if you need me. 

 

Edit: lol, most unstable appearing guy offering stability. 

Mate you have so much to offer. I think helping people gives you some more purpose - like others on here, you help because you want to help, but actually it helps you too.

 

This thread is amazing. I don't know if every football forum has something like this, but I doubt any of them can have as many diamonds in it as this one.

 

 

[HighPeakFox]

1 hour ago, lifted*fox said:

I think everything got on top of me a couple of days ago. I ran everything too close to the sun and got stuck in a loop of getting zoned out to try and get by. I managed to break the cycle and took a rest day yesterday. No gym, no drugs, no drink, just sleep. I literally slept about 22 out of 24 hours. I woke up today feeling a little better and most positive. Back to yoga, back to gym. 

 

Gonna try and keep my mind clean now and hopefully help with some big decisions. Thanks to anyone who reached out to me, it means a lot. 

 

I see we have some new strugglers in here. Again, as always, I'm available. If you fancy a beer, or water, a game of pool, a chat, whatever, hit me up via PM. I've met up with a few 'strangers' recently and the outcomes have been very positive. I hope perhaps I can help some of you in the same way. Reach out if you need me. 

 

Edit: lol, most unstable appearing guy offering stability. 

Make sure you have enough for yourself - you do no good depleting yourself in order to help others.

[lifted*fox]

5 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

Make sure you have enough for yourself - you do no good depleting yourself in order to help others.

 

Sometimes mate helping others recharges my own batteries enough to push on. I think I mentioned, helping a stranger recently led to me getting some PT help down the gym and it's been something to focus on and keep me going. Through pure luck the universe put me in the right place, right time.

 

Hopefully I can help someone in the same way. Sometimes when you can't find your own answers, helping someone else find theirs is the next best thing.