Unpopular Opinions You Hold

[Strokes]

9 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

i would always choose to take a poo on my own thrown, first and foremost. 

**** sitting in the steamy workplace shit-house taking in the aromas of everyone's poo for any longer than necessary.

When you have kids that don’t understand privacy and there is no lock on the toilet because the lunatics will lock themselves in and drink bleach. The work toilet is far more relaxing.

[lifted*fox]

thrown as well ffs. 

throne.

jeeeeeeeez.

[Izzy]

38 minutes ago, Strokes said:

When you have kids that don’t understand privacy and there is no lock on the toilet because the lunatics will lock themselves in and drink bleach. The work toilet is far more relaxing.

 

Reminds me when we made the mistake of having locks on the bog when our daughter was about 2 years old.

We eventually broke in to find her covered from head to toe in sudocrem and she’d downed half a bottle of tea tree oil. A trip to A&E ensued and she was ok. Can’t let the little fvckers out of your sight for 2 minutes... 

[The Bear]

If you're suspect of the toilet seat's cleanliness at work just put a big gob of saliva on it and wipe it round with some bog roll. 

The worst thing is when you sit down and it's still warm from someone else who's just left before you! Eww. 

Edited 21 August 2018 by The Bear

[Jattdogg]

Im a germaphobe (to a point) so shitting at work is a major NO unless its an emergency. Nothing better than your own throne.  Crapping into a throne used by other unclean neanderthals is grimey.  Cant enjoy it when you smell someone elses crap and the seat is warm from their arse sweat lol. Or walk in an see someone elses remnants from a flush that never flushed properly. Gag.

Flush before you Double Layer that seat! And dont forget to drop 3 to 4 squares of bog roll to stop any back splashing.  Lol i have got major issues.

 

[The Bear]

 

[SouthStandUpperTier]

19 minutes ago, Jattdogg said:

Im a germaphobe (to a point) so shitting at work is a major NO unless its an emergency. Nothing better than your own throne.  Crapping into a throne used by other unclean neanderthals is grimey.  Cant enjoy it when you smell someone elses crap and the seat is warm from their arse sweat lol. Or walk in an see someone elses remnants from a flush that never flushed properly. Gag.

Flush before you Double Layer that seat! And dont forget to drop 3 to 4 squares of bog roll to stop any back splashing.  Lol i have got major issues.

 

I endorse this message. Perfect shitting technique.

[Guest MattP]

22 minutes ago, Jattdogg said:

Im a germaphobe (to a point) so shitting at work is a major NO unless its an emergency. Nothing better than your own throne.  Crapping into a throne used by other unclean neanderthals is grimey.  Cant enjoy it when you smell someone elses crap and the seat is warm from their arse sweat lol. Or walk in an see someone elses remnants from a flush that never flushed properly. Gag.

Flush before you Double Layer that seat! And dont forget to drop 3 to 4 squares of bog roll to stop any back splashing.  Lol i have got major issues

Pretty much exactly the same as what I do as well this.

Wiping the seat is absolutely essential, the worst thing about public toilets is touching the handle etc - I bet quite a few scumbags don't wash their hands.

[The Bear]

Double layering toilet roll is overkill. It's only someone's arse cheeks. You'll pick up more germs shaking someone's hand. 

Quick spit and wipe if it looks a bit dirty is all that's necessary. 

[simFox]

You obviously don't do man enough craps. Lining up is important so you get over the centre of the pan, once it hits the bottom of the bowl, lift up slightly incase you get any pushback.

[SouthStandUpperTier]

23 hours ago, lifted*fox said:

in fact the only time I pray is in the toilet

"god please bless me up with a nice poo this morning, good consistency and a clean wipe, amen"

It really doesn't get much better than when you do a 'ghostie', as described here by Kevin Bridges.

 

[Jattdogg]

6 minutes ago, MattP said:

Pretty much exactly the same as what I do as well this.

Wiping the seat is absolutely essential, the worst thing about public toilets is touching the handle etc - I bet quite a few scumbags don't wash their hands.

I always use bog roll paper to open, close/lock doors   and even to flush.

 

I went for a piss the other day at the urinal and this blole comes out the throne stall and walks straight out without washing. Sure he could have been changing or whatever but sickening!

[Guest MattP]

8 minutes ago, Jattdogg said:

I always use bog roll paper to open, close/lock doors   and even to flush.

I do that, if not I open it with little finger right at the bottom of the handle. You know very few have touched that part.

[Great Boos Up]

As a safe stander to wipe my arse which was proved to be an unpopular opinion in another thread I have no issues when or where the time come comes. However, I dislike it when the toilet seat is down in the gents. Then I know someone has excreted.

Often I like to use cubicles for a wee because I'm shy and have a tiny penis when flaccid.

 

[simFox]

7 minutes ago, Great Boos Up said:

As a safe stander to wipe my arse which was proved to be an unpopular opinion in another thread I have no issues when or where the time come comes. However, I dislike it when the toilet seat is down in the gents. Then I know someone has excreted.

Often I like to use cubicles for a wee because I'm shy and have a tiny penis when flaccid.

 

The best thing about having a tiny cock, is you get to own some decent/fast cars.

[Guest MattP]

Anyone been for a shit down the City? I had to go last year at one game, awful. 

Pre-match that as well, Half Time just a total no-go. Although would be amusing to open the door after a stinker knowing some kid is on his way in next to snort a line.

Edited 21 August 2018 by MattP

[SouthStandUpperTier]

3 minutes ago, MattP said:

Anyone been for a shit down the City? I had to go last year at one game, awful. 

Pre-match that as well, Half Time just a total no-go. Although would be amusing to open the door after a stinker knowing some kid is on his way in next to snort a line.

Always worried I'll get in there and there will be no bog roll. Although now I know I could always tear a piece off the next Tifo display before I go. 

[UniFox21]

46 minutes ago, MattP said:

Anyone been for a shit down the City? I had to go last year at one game, awful. 

Pre-match that as well, Half Time just a total no-go. Although would be amusing to open the door after a stinker knowing some kid is on his way in next to snort a line.

Went before an away game where they open up the inside bit for breakfast. Now that part has nice bogs. Nice blue edge lighting to make that sh1tting experience even better 

[ealingfox]

To be fair I went to do so in an emergency before a match last year (Swansea game I think) and was pleasantly surprised by the conditions, which were perfectly acceptable. Must have just gotten lucky.

[Nalis]

It baffles me how some adults in the UK in 2018 dont wash their hands after going to the toilet.

[ajthefox]

4 hours ago, The Bear said:

If you're suspect of the toilet seat's cleanliness at work just put a big gob of saliva on it and wipe it round with some bog roll. 

The worst thing is when you sit down and it's still warm from someone else who's just left before you! Eww. 

What does that help? Do you drink dettol or something?

[The Bear]

It's just fluid to help remove anything on the seat. Plus it's mildly anti-bacterial. 

[Guest MattP]

Black Pudding is caviar for the Working class - smear and crumble on egg and toast for the ultimate result.

[Finnegan]

13 hours ago, MattP said:

Anyone been for a shit down the City? I had to go last year at one game, awful. 

Pre-match that as well, Half Time just a total no-go. Although would be amusing to open the door after a stinker knowing some kid is on his way in next to snort a line.

 

Absolutely nothing worse than needing a shit at an away game. 

Stuck hundreds of miles from civilization in somewhere like Burnley where the entire toilet block is made of breeze blocks and balsa wood splinters. 

Where you're lucky if there's even a toilet seat let alone bog roll and the bogs are full of shitfaced people pissing everywhere except accurately in to the urinal. 

Knowing full well that even if by some miracle you can lay a cable in relative peace and the Gods have blessed you with paper, you've got no hope in hell of having anything to wash your hands with other than a bit of roof run off coming out a rusty tap. 

Best you can really hope for is you're travelling on the coach and you can clench it in for long enough to sprint back at full time while everyone's still singing in the concourse and you shoehorn yourself in to the world's most impossibly tiny shit box and pray there's still roll there. 

Honestly the most stressful experience of adult life. 

Edited 22 August 2018 by Finnegan

[Strokes]

10 minutes ago, Finnegan said:

 

Absolutely nothing worse than needing a shit at an away game. 

Stuck hundreds of miles from civilization in somewhere like Burnley where the entire toilet block is made of breeze blocks and balsa wood splinters. 

Where you're lucky if there's even a toilet seat let alone bog roll and the bogs are full of shitfaced people pissing everywhere except accurately in to the urinal. 

Knowing full well that even if by some miracle you can lay a cable in relative peace and the Gods have blessed you with paper, you've got no hope in hell of having anything to wash your hands with other than a bit of roof run off coming out a rusty tap. 

Best you can really hope for is you're travelling on the coach and you can clench it in for long enough to sprint back at full time while everyone's still singing in the concourse and you shoehorn yourself in to the world's most impossibly tiny shit box and pray there's still roll there. 

Honestly the most stressful experience of adult life. 

Building site portaloos are much worse than that, especially on a Monday morning, when that blue water solution is not powerful enough to remove what these monsters have done to their insides from the side of the pan. You’d have thought a herd of beer swilling, McDonald’s eating cows had been in and patted everywhere. You can’t even take a piss it’s that bad.