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BigGibbo

How Was Your Day?

By BigGibbo, in General Chat

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Raj

Raj

Posted
Posted
13 hours ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Sorry to hear that, Bob. Will you apply for both types of Lasting Power of Attorney - Health/Welfare and Property/Financial Affairs?

 

I got both types when my Dad was in decline with Parkinson's and moderate dementia. The process from application took a couple of months, as I recall.

You'll probably already know that the 2 types operate a bit differently: the financial one can take effect immediately if the person wants that, whereas the health/welfare one only applies when someone is unable to take their own decisions - whether that's due to advanced dementia, unconsciousness or whatever. 

 

My Dad wanted me to use the financial power to control his finances within a couple of months of it being granted, though I always kept him informed. Technically, I never used the health/welfare one as, although he got confused at times, I was always able to discuss healthcare issues with him. His confusion was sporadic (mainly evenings, when he got tired) rather than continuous. I think it was good for his morale that he was still having his say and occasionally refusing certain treatments - although towards the end, he tended to just ask me to take the decisions. Fortunately, on the couple of occasions when important treatments were needed and he was unsure, I was able to persuade him that it was a good idea.

 

Although technically I didn't have to deploy the health/welfare power of attorney, it was still useful. For about 15 months, I did an awful lot of liaising with different healthcare professionals (hospital, GP, social services, physio, speech therapist etc.) and I got the impression that they were a lot readier to give me information and make arrangements because they knew that I had the power of attorney. Given the number of people/services involved, that was very necessary as it would have been too complicated for my Dad at that stage. I think that I also had to show the PoA when I signed a contract for him to have a live-in carer, even though he was present - as he wouldn't have been physically able to sign due to the Parkinson's tremors.

 

Good luck in dealing with your brother and sister, too. It's a situation that can really put a strain on family relations if some feel that others aren't pulling their weight, or some are happy to help with one thing but not another etc.

My brother didn't want anything to do with the PoA and left all the organisational stuff to me, as he hates dealing with institutions, and is not the most organised re. finances etc. On the other hand, he was happy to share the burden caring for my Dad (we alternated weekends staying with him, having arranged care cover in the week). That suited me fine - we'd only have fallen out if we'd both been involved in the organisational/communicational stuff. As it was, we just had one big bust-up when he got the hump over me giving him too much information....I was just trying to be democratic and letting him know of decisions I planned to take, in case he disagreed, but he basically just wanted me to do that.

 

Good luck with it all. While I'm sure it'll be upsetting at times, I suppose you just have to remember that any upsetting comments or behaviour are due to the illness, not the person you know and love.

There can also be very touching moments, when memories come back or feelings are expressed: e.g. my Dad forgot my Mum's name, yet clearly missed her at times, reciting song lyrics about it out of the blue.

What they say about long-term memory lasting much more than short-term also seemed very true: my Dad would get confused about where his home was, at times, yet when he was given a photo of a Gaelic football team that he'd played in 70 years before, he was able to name every bloke in the photo.

 

All the best! Tough times, but can also be precious times, some of the time....

Hey Alf,

How do you go about the Power of attorney stuff?

Loads of forms to fill in I presume?

Can any legal eagle do them?

Are they mega costly or reasonable?

Thanks and sorry to hear yours and Bobs story

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
On 24/07/2018 at 20:19, Bob Weasel Fox said:

just starting (well in the last week or so) to take my dad to doctors appointments re potential early signs of dementia. 

 

Its difficult but starting to mobilise my brother and sister into going through the Lasting power of attorney process

 

****ing shit bollocks life is at times, my dad still cycles (or did) 20 miles a day and is a really fit bloke but his mind is going 

 

don’t get me wrong he has had a good innings but life is cruel at times

 

Sorry to hear that, Bob.

 

I don't if you are aware, but the Newarke Museum runs a Memory Box programme for those with dementia and they also have a Memory Trail at the museum itself:

 

https://www.leicester.gov.uk/leisure-and-culture/museums-and-galleries/education-and-learning/memory-box-programme/

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Jattdogg

Jattdogg

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Turbogre said:

Woke up to find our family car has been stolen.

 

Not a good start to the day.

Its happened to me before. Better the car than your house being robbed.

 

As long as its not used for a bukake porn shoot they will fix it up fine if they find it.

 

My brother inlaw parked his at the airport came back from holiday and it was gone. Never found.

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Countryfox

Countryfox

Posted
Posted

Had a titter at some of the headlines in the Telegraph today whilst eating my lunch ...

 

"Man without a penis violated two girlfriends with object" ...    had to read that one !!! ..   what had happened to the poor fellow ?? :o ...  how did he lose it ?? ...   turns out he was a woman but going through the change ...  if they had said that I doubt it would have had the same impact ! ...   and never did find out what the 'object' was.

 

Next ..  "Doctor had woman held down when she resisted euthanasia" ...   since when do you resist euthanasia ?? ..   sound more like murder to me ...

 

Next ...   "I was raped because I entered red-light zone, claims teacher" ..   no, you were raped cus there are some nasty sick fvcks out there ...  they don't change personality depending on which post code they are in ! ...

 

Remember one my mate told me from a few weeks ago ...  "Flat earth society meeting attracts members from all over the globe " ...    lollol

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Max Wall

Max Wall

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Countryfox said:

Had a titter at some of the headlines in the Telegraph today whilst eating my lunch ...

 

"Man without a penis violated two girlfriends with object" ...    had to read that one !!! ..   what had happened to the poor fellow ?? :o ...  how did he lose it ?? ...   turns out he was a woman but going through the change ...  if they had said that I doubt it would have had the same impact ! ...   and never did find out what the 'object' was.

 

Next ..  "Doctor had woman held down when she resisted euthanasia" ...   since when do you resist euthanasia ?? ..   sound more like murder to me ...

 

Next ...   "I was raped because I entered red-light zone, claims teacher" ..   no, you were raped cus there are some nasty sick fvcks out there ...  they don't change personality depending on which post code they are in ! ...

 

Remember one my mate told me from a few weeks ago ...  "Flat earth society meeting attracts members from all over the globe " ...    lollol

I'd heard menopause can be rough.

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, Raj said:

Hey Alf,

How do you go about the Power of attorney stuff?

Loads of forms to fill in I presume?

Can any legal eagle do them?

Are they mega costly or reasonable?

Thanks and sorry to hear yours and Bobs story

 

There's some info here, Raj: 

https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney

https://www.gov.uk/government/organisations/office-of-the-public-guardian

 

It's the Office of the Public Guardian that you apply to. One of those links said £82, but I'm sure that I paid more than £100 - so it may be £82 for each of the two types (financial/property & health/welfare).

 

As I recall, it wasn't too bad. Was 1 longish form for each one, which had to be signed by the person granting the power & witnessed by a third party- but you don't need to use a solicitor or anything.

Took about 2 months for them to be registered from application, I think.

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Carl the Llama

Carl the Llama

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, Samilktray said:

Not sure what you expect them to do about something that never happened tbh 

lol but tbf I think in this case it's not unheard of that his parents' car really did get nicked. Still dunno why you'd get pissy at the cops over it.

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Max Wall

Max Wall

Posted
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Posted (edited)
24 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

That's tough, Max.

 

How old is he?

He's 76 going on 90 Bucey. He has his problems anyway, bi-polar being the main one and the medication completely screws his motivation so he gets zero exercise. We try but if he ain't gonna move, he ain't gonna move tbh.

Ah, it's ok mate, it's been this way for a long time now. Doesn't usually get me down, just now and again. Just saying something out loud helps sometimes. Until recently, I only ever looked at the City threads on here but there's a lot more to FT than that as I've discovered. Lots of people on here have a very sympathetic ear which really is one of the great things about social media.

Anyway, thanks for asking :thumbup: It's appreciated.

Edited by Max Wall
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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

lol but tbf I think in this case it's not unheard of that his parents' car really did get nicked. Still dunno why you'd get pissy at the cops over it.

image.png.12648bda0d636cd48e47128b93d856f7.png

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Strokes

Strokes

Posted
Posted
4 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

Yeah nah I get that and honestly it's not like I even car about his mum & dad's car, I guess that for whatever reason there's some part of me that's Izzy to Tincy's May.

You want to run naked through fields of wheat with tincy?

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted (edited)
49 minutes ago, Max Wall said:

He's 76 going on 90 Bucey. He has his problems anyway, bi-polar being the main one and the medication completely screws his motivation so he gets zero exercise. We try but if he ain't gonna move, he ain't gonna move tbh.

Ah, it's ok mate, it's been this way for a long time now. Doesn't usually get me down, just now and again. Just saying something out loud helps sometimes. Until recently, I only ever looked at the City threads on here but there's a lot more to FT than that as I've discovered. Lots of people on here have a very sympathetic ear which really is one of the great things about social media.

Anyway, thanks for asking :thumbup: It's appreciated.

 

 

No worries. :)

 

My late father had similar issues; he was fine until his early eighties, then in the space of a couple of years, my mother died and he fell and broke his hip. After that, he became voluntarily housebound (scared of falling again), stopped driving - stopped living, really - and not long after the first signs of dementia began to appear. He finally died aged 92, but essentially he died ten years earlier. It was horrible to see him fall apart like that, so I get what you're feeling. If it ever gets too much, get yourself over to the Depression Thread - it's the best thread on the forum.

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FoxesDeb

FoxesDeb

Posted
Posted
53 minutes ago, Max Wall said:

He's 76 going on 90 Bucey. He has his problems anyway, bi-polar being the main one and the medication completely screws his motivation so he gets zero exercise. We try but if he ain't gonna move, he ain't gonna move tbh.

Ah, it's ok mate, it's been this way for a long time now. Doesn't usually get me down, just now and again. Just saying something out loud helps sometimes. Until recently, I only ever looked at the City threads on here but there's a lot more to FT than that as I've discovered. Lots of people on here have a very sympathetic ear which really is one of the great things about social media.

Anyway, thanks for asking :thumbup: It's appreciated.

 

I actually find myself on the main forum less and less these days, it might be because it's silly season, but there really are some good souls over here. I really hope things with your Dad are as well as they can be x

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