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RobHawk

When I grow up I want to be ......

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I'm at this weird stage of my life where, I left my previous well paid job that I enjoyed but hated the people I worked with, then unsuccessfully set up my own business, now I'm stacking shelves and have no idea what I want to do with my life. 

 

It's almost like I can start again but am completely lost and directionless right now. 

 

All I know is, the idea of sitting in office all day, battling rush hour traffic and never seeing my kids is not what I want. 

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3 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I know this might sound odd and a bit 'happy clappy' to some, but I believe we're all exactly where we're meant to be in life and for a reason.

 

I also left a well paid corporate job after suffering burnout and illness and then initially set up my own business which went tits up during the recession. I then went back to paid employment second time around and hated every minute of it. I knew deep down that I needed to be my own boss so set up on my own again and it probably took another five years until I was then settled and doing what I loved.

 

I count myself very fortunate now but there's been times where I've felt exactly like you do now. I genuinely believe all the shit I went through in the past has got me to where I am today and has made me a better person for it. Maybe it's all just part of our journey...

 

Looking back, I tried too hard to figure it all out and probably 'got in my own way' too much. The times where I just surrendered to the greater good and just let life naturally unfold in front of me were the times when positive things started to happen. I know it sounds counter productive and I'm not suggesting doing nothing, but sometimes we just need to trust that it'll all be O.K. in the end.

 

At least you know what you don't want to do, so that's a start. Sometimes it's just a process of elimination until we find the answer. Occasionally I feel I should be doing/earning more but then I realise how blessed I am that I'm not a slave to someone else's diary and that I've got the freedom to see my wife and kids more now.

 

Life's not always about having a successful career or earning loads of money. Maybe it's just about happiness and well-being instead.

 

I know you feel lost and directionless right now but that's only a temporary feeling. As it happens, my wife is in a similar situation and doesn't know what to do with her life and career either. I bought her this book and she's loving reading it so maybe worth getting a copy to help you figure stuff out.

 

412ijGRujmL._SX310_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

 

Keep the faith mate and trust the process but above all else, dance with life's uncertainty and make sure you stop to smell the roses on the way.

 

Cheers bud, I'll check the book out and thanks for sharing your story. I was actually quite happy plodding along stacking shelves. No stress, different shift patterns and something completely different but I think I've started to get bored, so I'm thinking what next and coming up pretty blank. 

 

Something I've liked the idea of is teaching, I always loved creating and providing training in my previous job, so that's an avenue I am going to explore further by possibly doing some teaching assistant work if I can get it. 

 

Out of interest what is it do mate?

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6 minutes ago, RobHawk said:

Cheers bud, I'll check the book out and thanks for sharing your story. I was actually quite happy plodding along stacking shelves. No stress, different shift patterns and something completely different but I think I've started to get bored, so I'm thinking what next and coming up pretty blank. 

 

Something I've liked the idea of is teaching, I always loved creating and providing training in my previous job, so that's an avenue I am going to explore further by possibly doing some teaching assistant work if I can get it. 

 

Out of interest what is it do mate?

I'm an executive coach and leadership trainer in the business world mate. 

 

Funny that you also loved creating and providing training in your previous job. I enjoy the 121 coaching I do but the best part for me is when I'm in front of a group of managers training them - this is what makes me come alive and when I really feel I'm living 'on purpose'.

 

If you've always liked the idea of teaching then there's so many options to explore. I believe the world needs more teachers in all fields and if you enjoy it and are good at it, maybe that's the reason you were put on the planet!

 

I think if you can find something that you love doing then it doesn't feel like 'work' at all. Maybe the reason you're bored now is that's your intuition telling you that you're not reaching your potential in your current job. Maybe use that feeling as a positive to spur you into looking at different options.  

 

The world is your oyster bud. 

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58 minutes ago, RobHawk said:

I'm at this weird stage of my life 

 

I'm a middle aged duffer and I can tell you that from what I know, every stage of life feels weird. 

 

The advice I would give is enjoy the ride, take in the sunset, smell the flowers, kiss the girl, eat the steak, step on the accelerator, ignore your fears and, for goodness sakes, close your legs on the underground. 

 

You won't go far wrong. 

 

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2 hours ago, RobHawk said:

I'm at this weird stage of my life where, I left my previous well paid job that I enjoyed but hated the people I worked with, then unsuccessfully set up my own business, now I'm stacking shelves and have no idea what I want to do with my life. 

 

It's almost like I can start again but am completely lost and directionless right now. 

 

All I know is, the idea of sitting in office all day, battling rush hour traffic and never seeing my kids is not what I want. 

I feel your pain. Turning 40 next month and while i don't hate my career I'm also not in love with it to want to do it for another 25 years or so. I've been wanting to do something else for about 3+ years now but have no idea what to do. My current job  isn't so bad (pays really well) but i just feel like I'm wasting my days on shit that i'm not overly in love with any more. Sure, I could pick up a hobby but that isn't what i'm looking at. I enjoy spending time with my family i just need something more exciting during the "9 to 5". 

 

I think i'm tired of the corporate bullshit, lack of true leadership and office politics. Doesn't appear to matter where i work eventually same shit different company (and no i know it isn't me lol).  I would love to work for myself but haven't a clue at what to do. Also, toss kids and responsibility in the way and major barrier! 

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4 hours ago, Izzy said:

Life's not always about having a successful career or earning loads of money. Maybe it's just about happiness and well-being instead.

 

3 hours ago, Vacamion said:

The advice I would give is enjoy the ride

Amen to both.

Find stuff which makes you happy and follow that path.

Spread as much positivity as you can.

None of us get out alive, we're a mere speck on this planet's timeline, don't sweat the small stuff.

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I spent 20 years in the corporate world, for a large part of it, i didnt even know that i hated it.. i was so conditioned that chasing the $ and that career advancement was the only goal.

 

Then i realised that was someone else's dream (mostly a billionaire who luxuriated off my work)....Not knowing what to do next was initially a real concern... until i realised that what i wanted to do, was help myself, my family and the world be better. That didnt mean i had to be Greta Thunberg and affect millions, it just meant trying to do what i believed was right whenever i could.

 

Im oldish now... i still dont know what i want to do... other than harm less and help more.

 

One of the most important things i learnt was... "good enough, is nearly always good enough"

 

I dunno if this has just been the ramblings of an old man and provided you with no help...if so.. :)

 

Image result for onion on our belt"

 

 

 

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8 hours ago, RobHawk said:

I'm at this weird stage of my life where, I left my previous well paid job that I enjoyed but hated the people I worked with, then unsuccessfully set up my own business, now I'm stacking shelves and have no idea what I want to do with my life. 

 

It's almost like I can start again but am completely lost and directionless right now. 

 

All I know is, the idea of sitting in office all day, battling rush hour traffic and never seeing my kids is not what I want. 

I know how you feel, I started working for the family business when I left college 20 years ago now.

 

We lost the business last year due to a down turn in work and a few major customers becoming bad players, affecting cash flow.

 

Now all I've done for 19 years is work my way from top to bottom in the sign trade. I don't feel I want to go back into it, so I've been labouring for a mate of mine, it's ok at times and the hours aren't bad, I've got you kids so being home at 3pm most days gives me time with them, however the money is shit unless we do 6 or 7 days a week.

 

I'd love the chance to go back to studying but with the kids its not financially an option right now and would take up a lot of time.

 

It's really hard to decide what to do and what makes you happy is a personal thing. For a few months after losing the business I was actually happier, as it had become such a burden trying to keep it going and keep people in jobs, I liked the initial lack of stress etc, but a year on it's like I'm lost without that day to day load.

 

Anyway hope you find something that you enjoy, and if you do, can you recommended me for the job stacking shelves lol for me it's not about the money anymore, but more the hours and having enough to feed the kids and carry on paying for those season tickets. Yes that's how bad the money is working for my mate, that I'm only just about managing those things. I was really grateful at the start as it was an income, but it's starting to affect our friendship at times.

 

Good of you to post tho. You may find it relieves some of your burden, worries etc infact it may even lead to some work:fc:

Edited by Bayfox
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3 hours ago, ozleicester said:

One of the most important things i learnt was... "good enough, is nearly always good enough"

I hope you weren’t an aeroplane engineer... 😬

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5 hours ago, UpTheLeagueFox said:

 

Amen to both.

Find stuff which makes you happy and follow that path.

Spread as much positivity as you can.

None of us get out alive, we're a mere speck on this planet's timeline, don't sweat the small stuff.

It's funny mate because when i was growing up at school with you, I wanted to do what you're doing for a job!

 

Once I realised I wasn't good enough to play sport for a living, I decided the next best thing was talking about it :D

 

I remember writing to Steve Lambden at Central TV when I was about 15 and had a tour of their studio's to see what he did. I also got in touch with the head of Radio 2 sport called Pat someone and spent a day with them at the Moto GP at Donnington Park in the commentary box with Steve Parrish.

 

I was all set to do a sports journalism course at Loughborough but needed 4 GCSE 'C' grades to get on the course but I fvcked about at school and only got 3 C's so ended up going back to do re-takes. That lasted about 2 months until I quit to get a full time job selling TV's at Dixons and the rest is history...

 

I've followed your career with interest over the years pal and always wondered "What if..?" but I'm genuinely chuffed (and still a little jealous :unsure:) to see you doing so well and doing what you love for a job.

 

It is what it is and it all happens for a reason I think. Keep up the good work chap :thumbup:

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13 hours ago, RobHawk said:

I'm at this weird stage of my life where, I left my previous well paid job that I enjoyed but hated the people I worked with, then unsuccessfully set up my own business, now I'm stacking shelves and have no idea what I want to do with my life. 

 

It's almost like I can start again but am completely lost and directionless right now. 

 

All I know is, the idea of sitting in office all day, battling rush hour traffic and never seeing my kids is not what I want. 

Many good words in this thread already, I'll just try to add something else to consider.

 

There are basically three types of person who work:

 

1.  Those who will do anything to maximise their achievements and income, even at the expense of their own happiness and those of their dependants.

2.  Those who are happy to do the minimum to get by.

3.  Those who want to earn enough for a comfortable life for themselves and their dependants and are prepared to sometimes work in careers they don't particularly like to get what they need.

 

(1) is quite a few business leaders; (2) is a fair proportion of the working populace; (3) is most of us.

 

If you were a (1) then you wouldn't have posted so let's rule that out; you then need to decide if you are a (2) or a (3).  If (2) then your happiness should be your main concern; we spend far too much of our lives working to hate it.  If (3) then your ideal job will be modified by your responsibilities, and you may not be able to get all you want, that doesn't mean you shouldn't follow your dreams, but you would have to recognise that there may be times in your life when you won't have job satisfaction.

 

 

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When I grow up, I just want to be a one-trick pony. To date, that trick has simply eluded me.

 

Dear Diary,

 

Why must tricks continue to be so elusive?

 

 

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4 hours ago, Milo said:

I hope you weren’t an aeroplane engineer... 😬

 

1 hour ago, Parafox said:

Or a surgeon

lol

 

To be fair though.... your engineers or surgeons may have done a "good enough" job... and youll never be :) any the wiser

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5 hours ago, Izzy said:

It's funny mate because when i was growing up at school with you, I wanted to do what you're doing for a job!

I've followed your career with interest over the years pal and always wondered "What if..?" but I'm genuinely chuffed (and still a little jealous :unsure:) to see you doing so well and doing what you love for a job.

It's mad that I've had a "career" which I don't consider to be a career. It's not a proper job. I just got lucky doing work I enjoy.

I still feel incredibly lucky to waffle a bit on the wireless and do some DJing.

Someone will 'find me out' eventually and realise I've just been blagging it for 30 years.

Until then I'll keep smuggling a living which I'm hugely grateful for.

 

3 hours ago, RoboFox said:

As Baz Luhrmann says: "Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life... The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't."

I thought about quoting the Sunscreen thing in my original post.

There was a documentary about it on Radio 2 recently as it's been 20 years since it hit the charts.

Lots of stuff in it makes more sense now than it did when it first came out.

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I still don't really know what I want to do with my life, both career and outside of it.

 

I went into the Legal profession after not having a clue what to do at the age of 16/17 and quite enjoying my Law A-Level, and thus seeing it as a stable enough career path but it's not the thrill a minute profession that those darned TV programmes make it out to be (unless my employer is reading this, in which case it's bloody awesome). 

 

Without sounding like a broken Politician, I also went into my profession because I wanted to help people (but also earn a decent wedge because I've got a mortgage to pay) but that's becoming harder and harder to do as the areas of interest are almost all poorly paid and or incredibly difficult to get into or require working in London which wouldn't make me happy. I'd like to get into a comfortable enough position financially so that I could consider doing pro bono work to help those that need it and also to enable me to further my studies in something that interests me, rather than studying to get to the next step on the ladder. 


As Izzy alluded to, the older I get the more I just want to be happy in life rather than successful. Both would ideal, naturally, and my wife is also similar to Izzy's in being at a bit of a crossroads (probably to do with the education system being an utter nightmare I imagine @Izzy!). So at least we can have the occasional meltdown together. 

 

 

 

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20 hours ago, Izzy said:

I know this might sound odd and a bit 'happy clappy' to some, but I believe we're all exactly where we're meant to be in life and for a reason.

 

I also left a well paid corporate job after suffering burnout and illness and then initially set up my own business which went tits up during the recession. I then went back to paid employment second time around and hated every minute of it. I knew deep down that I needed to be my own boss so set up on my own again and it probably took another five years until I was then settled and doing what I loved.

 

I count myself very fortunate now but there's been times where I've felt exactly like you do now. I genuinely believe all the shit I went through in the past has got me to where I am today and has made me a better person for it. Maybe it's all just part of our journey...

 

Looking back, I tried too hard to figure it all out and probably 'got in my own way' too much. The times where I just surrendered to the greater good and just let life naturally unfold in front of me were the times when positive things started to happen. I know it sounds counter productive and I'm not suggesting doing nothing, but sometimes we just need to trust that it'll all be O.K. in the end.

 

At least you know what you don't want to do, so that's a start. Sometimes it's just a process of elimination until we find the answer. Occasionally I feel I should be doing/earning more but then I realise how blessed I am that I'm not a slave to someone else's diary and that I've got the freedom to see my wife and kids more now.

 

Life's not always about having a successful career or earning loads of money. Maybe it's just about happiness and well-being instead.

 

I know you feel lost and directionless right now but that's only a temporary feeling. As it happens, my wife is in a similar situation and doesn't know what to do with her life and career either. I bought her this book and she's loving reading it so maybe worth getting a copy to help you figure stuff out.

 

412ijGRujmL._SX310_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

 

Keep the faith mate and trust the process but above all else, dance with life's uncertainty and make sure you stop to smell the roses on the way.

 

For those of you wondering what self-employed job Izzy is successful at second time round, we can safely deduce it's not stand-up comedian.

 

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I'm 48 and font really know what I want to do!!!

Wish I'd done something I REALLY enjoy but it's just a standard admin job in a pharmaceutical box company! I left my old job which I did for 26 years to spend more time with the family as it was shiftwork and killing me.

I say to my kids do s job you'd do for  no wages- if you love it AND get paid that's a bonus!!! Shit like  @Uptheleaguefox.

 

I think the majority of people, especially blokes look at this magical world of DJs/Sportsman and think oh yes- that's the life! But these people are special and I'm sure even they think " Need I wish I just had a boring 9-5 where I one knows who I am!!!".

My Mrs has just changed jobs from teaching at an inner city college to adult education and loves it!

Do your never too old but don't always expect to find that ultimate job where you wake up waiting to go work and enjoy every minute!

Make the most of the important things in life!

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I am retired...spent a lifetime Not Really knowing what to do....

Dropped out 3 times...or went on Adult Gap-years travelling the world....but I knew since I was a kid,I would Work & travel.

Or work,then stop,then travel...then Work for while and Jump Off again....Got married had kids und still carried on,even when settled down...

 

I have college,But no Uni Education behind me,went into 3 careers and did Alright in all 3,But Never Made that "dropdead-money" or a Luxury Life style.

Had periods of unemployment ,and periods where wages  & life was good...I have decent kids (4) wonderful wife,But we Now Live month to month....but comfortable...

 

I am Now no expert,But spent all my Working life as somesort of troubleshooter, high-key and very low-key.The One Thing I advise is Pick up a backpack,even with Family and Explore your dreams...Don t expect success,But Don t give into those dips in the rest of your life...be Happy at being nothing special....

WE ARE ALL DIPSTICKS OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER,Enjoy it despite it,!!!

 

But Find & have time for a beer,on a Remote mountain,in a bustling city,or even in an Area you wonder how the fk did I get here...more importantly Share your world create memories of strangers & stare  strangeness in its face and take joy out of the Experience.....

Oh if you come back on here und try und share it....You  definitely didnt do it long enough...:bounce:

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I've been skilfully avoiding a proper job for 30 years and hopefully I'll slide into retirement in 25+ years having kept fooling enough people into paying me money to do my hobbies.

 

When I was young, I wanted to be 'famous' because I considered that equalled success in your profession. Then I realised I didn't want to be famous. I just wanted to bump along the bottom rung of the media/DJ ladder without making too many waves. That's where I plan to stay unless fate has other ideas.

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