Giving up / Cutting down on alcohol

[stripeyfox]

I know this has been touched on in other threads, and there may even have been a dedicated topic about it but I couldn't find it in the search? 

 

Just wanted to start a topic about alcohol, or rather, moderating your consumption of it. 

 

Having been a moderate social and latterly, home drinker for many years, possibly ever since my early 20's, I decided to use Dry January as an excuse to cut back and take stock of my relationship with alcohol. 

 

Was pretty terrified at the prospect as virtually every evening for as long as I can remember head involved at least a 4 pack (sometimes more) and often half of a bottle of wine, shared with the missus. 

 

So far I've been pleased with the progress. No drink since NYD and aside from a few terrible night's sleep, I feel better already. Have been having sparkling water with lemon and lime, or tonic water and even a couple of 0% beers and can almost trick my brain into thinking I'm having a drink! 

 

I'm hoping that at the end of a clean month that my attitude to the beer will have changed and drinking at home will be an occasional treat rather than the norm and I can still enjoy a drink when I go out (rarely these days) or go to the football. 

 

So I just wondered if any other FT posters have any thoughts, advice or want to share their own experiences of giving up / wanting to give up / should probably cut down / gave up years ago etc etc

 

 

[grobyfox1990]

Non-alcoholic options are exceptional these days. I was drinking most days, not a lot of volume but the frequency was not good, but now only drink on Friday's and Saturday's. Was fairly difficult at first and I still go out a lot during the week, but now so used to it I wouldn't even think to have a beer on a Tuesday night, and makes a few pints on Friday after work that much sweeter

[Jon the Hat]

I'm in the same boat.  Christmas aside, my wife and I share a bottle most nights, and two at the weekend.  Plus the odd Gin & Tonic.  Decided to take a breather in Jan - from Sunday rather than NYD though.  Funny you should mention crap nights sleep, I have slept very badly this week so far!

[Aus Fox]

I’ve done this for just over a year now, not completely dry and I do still enjoy a beer, but since December last year I haven’t had more than 2 at any time. I now always put my hand up to be designated driver and I feel much better both physically and mentally.

The hardest thing I do find is the peer pressure, everywhere I go I feel like someone offers me a drink, and although I’m not completely dry, I do find it uncomfortable to keep explaining why I don’t want one.

 

[Wrighty22]

Having had a lot to drink through December I have decided to cut down as much as I can, one to save some money and to get rid of this beer belly. First challenge was last night being at the Pub Quiz and not touching a drop, may not seem a big issue but it's a big step for me. 

[stripeyfox]

10 minutes ago, Jon the Hat said:

I'm in the same boat.  Christmas aside, my wife and I share a bottle most nights, and two at the weekend.  Plus the odd Gin & Tonic.  Decided to take a breather in Jan - from Sunday rather than NYD though.  Funny you should mention crap nights sleep, I have slept very badly this week so far!

This is one of the things that has put my off from abstaining in the past. When I have had the odd night off, I just can't get to sleep, so I end up using alcohol as a method to aid sleep (which of course it doesn't - or at least not quality sleep).

 

We had a "last" drink on NYD and the first couple of nights after that were restless, but has got steadily better since and last night slept really well (although I did go to Body Pump at the gym which no doubt helped)!

 

[stripeyfox]

2 minutes ago, Wrighty22 said:

Having had a lot to drink through December I have decided to cut down as much as I can, one to save some money and to get rid of this beer belly. First challenge was last night being at the Pub Quiz and not touching a drop, may not seem a big issue but it's a big step for me. 

No, I can exactly see how that would be an issue. These days a trip to the pub is a rarity for me but it would feel odd drinking coke and what not whilst all my mates are on the beer. That's why I'm hoping to curb the drinking at home so I can enjoy a pint or two on the odd occasion when I do go out!
 

[Strokes]

I go through phases with booze, I can go months without if I’m focussed on something but I rely on it when life’s just plodding along aimlessly.

Things are pretty steady at the minute, I go to the pub most nights after work and then continue drinking when I get home.

I said to the missus recently, we need to book a holiday to give me some motivation to save and lower my intake.

[Wrighty22]

15 minutes ago, stripeyfox said:

This is one of the things that has put my off from abstaining in the past. When I have had the odd night off, I just can't get to sleep, so I end up using alcohol as a method to aid sleep (which of course it doesn't - or at least not quality sleep).

 

We had a "last" drink on NYD and the first couple of nights after that were restless, but has got steadily better since and last night slept really well (although I did go to Body Pump at the gym which no doubt helped)!

 

Funny that you are saying your sleep has been affected by not drinking. Since new years day I have had quite possibly the worst nights sleep since my son was born over 6 years ago - I just put it down to being restless and too much on my mind, it never occurred to me that it was the alcohol. More reason to keep pushing through! 

[Crinklyfox]

1 hour ago, stripeyfox said:

I know this has been touched on in other threads, and there may even have been a dedicated topic about it but I couldn't find it in the search? 

 

Just wanted to start a topic about alcohol, or rather, moderating your consumption of it. 

 

Having been a moderate social and latterly, home drinker for many years, possibly ever since my early 20's, I decided to use Dry January as an excuse to cut back and take stock of my relationship with alcohol. 

 

Was pretty terrified at the prospect as virtually every evening for as long as I can remember head involved at least a 4 pack (sometimes more) and often half of a bottle of wine, shared with the missus. 

 

So far I've been pleased with the progress. No drink since NYD and aside from a few terrible night's sleep, I feel better already. Have been having sparkling water with lemon and lime, or tonic water and even a couple of 0% beers and can almost trick my brain into thinking I'm having a drink! 

 

I'm hoping that at the end of a clean month that my attitude to the beer will have changed and drinking at home will be an occasional treat rather than the norm and I can still enjoy a drink when I go out (rarely these days) or go to the football. 

 

So I just wondered if any other FT posters have any thoughts, advice or want to share their own experiences of giving up / wanting to give up / should probably cut down / gave up years ago etc etc

 

 

Good topic for a thread.

 

My tolerance to alcohol has decreased with age, so much so that I can now get a hangover from a couple of pints.  I like the odd glass of wine if I'm at home or a pint if I'm within walking distance of a pub but that's it - moderation has become the norm for me.

 

I do generally sleep better when I don't drink, otherwise I tend to wake up early in the morning.

 

I've seen first hand what prolonged drinking can do - a family member has a permanent disorder linked to excessive alcohol consumption and a family friend is currently in a nursing home with a dementia condition caused by excessive drinking.  They've cut down or stopped drinking now but the damage is done.

[Nick]

Yeah, I’m back in training and have cut everything out Monday to Thursday. I’ll drink on Fridays and usually either Saturday or Sunday then it’s a dry working week. 

[stripeyfox]

27 minutes ago, Aus Fox said:

I’ve done this for just over a year now, not completely dry and I do still enjoy a beer, but since December last year I haven’t had more than 2 at any time. I now always put my hand up to be designated driver and I feel much better both physically and mentally.

The hardest thing I do find is the peer pressure, everywhere I go I feel like someone offers me a drink, and although I’m not completely dry, I do find it uncomfortable to keep explaining why I don’t want one.

 

It will be a test for me on Satuday when I go the match - it's not that I always drink at the football (£5.10 for a pint of piss in the conourse is a pretty good deterrent actually), but often have a couple when we get off the train in the Parcel Yard for example and my mates certainly will be. But I'm happy so far with my progress and am determined to see it through. 

[kyleolly]

1 hour ago, stripeyfox said:

I know this has been touched on in other threads, and there may even have been a dedicated topic about it but I couldn't find it in the search? 

 

Just wanted to start a topic about alcohol, or rather, moderating your consumption of it. 

 

Having been a moderate social and latterly, home drinker for many years, possibly ever since my early 20's, I decided to use Dry January as an excuse to cut back and take stock of my relationship with alcohol. 

 

Was pretty terrified at the prospect as virtually every evening for as long as I can remember head involved at least a 4 pack (sometimes more) and often half of a bottle of wine, shared with the missus. 

 

So far I've been pleased with the progress. No drink since NYD and aside from a few terrible night's sleep, I feel better already. Have been having sparkling water with lemon and lime, or tonic water and even a couple of 0% beers and can almost trick my brain into thinking I'm having a drink! 

 

I'm hoping that at the end of a clean month that my attitude to the beer will have changed and drinking at home will be an occasional treat rather than the norm and I can still enjoy a drink when I go out (rarely these days) or go to the football. 

 

So I just wondered if any other FT posters have any thoughts, advice or want to share their own experiences of giving up / wanting to give up / should probably cut down / gave up years ago etc etc

 

 

Exactly the same as me usually 4 cans a night then sometimes a bit more at weekends I’m doing dry January first couple of nights I slept crap and was having very vivid dreams but I’m sleeping like a log now and feel so much better not missing it Saturday down the pub before football will be a challenge

[Costock_Fox]

Trying to go the month with no booze. I don’t really tend to drink much in the week other than the odd beer but the issue for me like others have said will be going to football.

 

I’ve also got 2 works do’s this month which are going to be excruciating sober.

[RoboFox]

I've never really had a drink in the week. In fact, I purposefully avoid it. Perhaps the very occasional Thursday night work tipple, but nothing more.

 

I do, however, more than make up for it at the weekends, and it's something I'm becoming more conscious of as I get a bit older. 

 

I've always been a part of a social group that very much enjoys the excesses of a Friday or Saturday night (or both!), and our bodies have become accustomed to a heavy sesh... 

 

I'm trying to cut back, though... Especially now that I'm trying to get back into training, and lose those Christmas kilos. 

[Alf Bentley]

3 hours ago, stripeyfox said:

 

So far I've been pleased with the progress. No drink since NYD and aside from a few terrible night's sleep, I feel better already. Have been having sparkling water with lemon and lime, or tonic water and even a couple of 0% beers and can almost trick my brain into thinking I'm having a drink! 

 

I'm hoping that at the end of a clean month that my attitude to the beer will have changed and drinking at home will be an occasional treat rather than the norm and I can still enjoy a drink when I go out (rarely these days) or go to the football. 

 

So I just wondered if any other FT posters have any thoughts, advice or want to share their own experiences of giving up / wanting to give up / should probably cut down / gave up years ago etc etc

 

 

 

2 hours ago, Jon the Hat said:

I'm in the same boat.  Christmas aside, my wife and I share a bottle most nights, and two at the weekend.  Plus the odd Gin & Tonic.  Decided to take a breather in Jan - from Sunday rather than NYD though.  Funny you should mention crap nights sleep, I have slept very badly this week so far!

 

I have a long history of stopping and starting. In my experience, sleeping badly for several nights after stopping is par for the course. The good news is that it stops after about a week, and you then get a much more satisfying sleep than while you're drinking. I found that I then faced a different issue - after about 7-10 days off, I'd feel really vigorous, positive and full of energy....and my instinct would be "Life feels good, let's go and neck a few pints!" 

 

If I could get beyond that moment of temptation at about 10 days, I'd probably stay off with no problem for about 2-5 months.....when the risk would be complacency and thoughts drifting to the enjoyable elements of drinking. The bad bits about boozing faded in the memory, but not the good bits - a manifestation of psychological addiction, I presume.

 

I've been completely tee-total for more than 4.5 years now, though I think it likely that I'll drink again in the future - but not imminently & I feel zero risk of drifting into it through temptation or peer pressure. Not drinking is the new normal.

I'd been intending to have a long booze-free stint before I stopped in 2015, but it became a rational decision for health reasons. I'd been diagnosed with a hereditary heart condition a few years earlier and it became clear that not only had my drinking possibly exacerbated the underlying condition, but it also made it more likely I'd suffer abnormal rhythms, potentially causing a stroke or long-term heart failure.

 

From late teens until early fifties, I was a "semi-controlled chronic binge drinker". I never drank daily or when I needed to be sober, but drank fairly heavily 3-4 days per week (equivalent of 4-6 pints or a bottle of wine latterly, more in my 20s) interspersed with extended dry periods. Taking days off probably explains why my liver is still in good nick. The amount I've drunk has gradually fallen over the years as my body can't comfortably digest as much as I get older.....which encourages me to think that at some point I'll be able to drink again and will only drink moderate amounts that won't harm my health....might well be conning myself, though, as I've always enjoyed getting a bit drunk - and have always been inclined to sometimes take it too far! That will be a rational decision, though - maybe when my daughter is fully independent and I'm no longer able to do so much physically or in terms of travel, then the risk v. benefit calculation might be different....

[Unabomber]

Good thread idea, should help keep those motivated who are cutting back. 
 

I go through periods of drinking similar to what others have said. If I have something to work/look forward to then I find it quite easy. When I am drinking I will walk down to the pub most nights and have 1 or 2 this can then lead to more at home depending how I feel. Friday/Saturday/Sunday can easily turn in to big sessions. When I am drinking it is always so easy to find an excuse “footballs on” “had a tough day at work” “had a good day at work” etc etc.

 

Currently I am not drinking until I go to nyc end of March. I am also not eating meat, betting or having takeaways so quite a lot to resist. However because I have an end goal it is quite easy. I will be working out, saving money and improving my health so it is all good. Hopefully after this I will enjoy drinks maybe just on a Saturday. Also hopefully my tolerance for it gets worse so I don’t spend a fortune when on holiday. 

 

Edited 8 January 2020 by Unabomber

[Izzy]

My story is similar to Alf's and I've been tee-total now since October 1st 2017.

 

This was my third Xmas/NY off the booze and friends/family have now become accustomed to the fact that we don't have it in the house any more. It's funny because we had a few comments this year from people who said it was 'nice' to go somewhere and have a 'rest' from drinking over the festive period. Almost like they were glad they didn't have to drink because everyone else was. I think once we can get over the perceived peer pressure, we're home and dry...

 

Looking back now, I know I spent a good 25 years being dependent on alcohol and rarely if ever had a dry day. It was dominating my life and causing me all sorts of relationship and health issues so I just decided to stop for good. I find it really interesting now as an 'observer' how much drink dominates social gatherings in this country - almost any excuse for a few beers. I'll never criticize others for drinking to have a good time but I've realized that I can still have a good time without drinking. It's still pretty weird watching others get pissed but I don't miss the hangovers or the expense.

 

I wouldn't mind having the odd drink now and again but I know what will happen. I'll get addicted again and back on it daily before I know it so I can't take the risk. I'm just not self disciplined enough and a bit 'all or nothing' so the choice for me has to be nothing.

 

I was also a bit of a twat when drunk. Some people are happy drunks and some aggressive but I just did stupid things I still regret. I now quite enjoy being different and it's a good topic of conversation when people look at me blank when I say no to alcohol. The best thing is that my mind is now totally clear and I don't walk around in the fog I used to. I also want to role model a healthy lifestyle to my kids and don't want them to ever see me in a state.

 

Sorry for preaching and best of luck to those stopping/reducing their intake.

 

We really are a nation of piss heads.

[stripeyfox]

12 minutes ago, Izzy said:

. I'll never criticize others for drinking to have a good time but I've realized that I can still have a good time without drinking. It's still pretty weird watching others get pissed but I don't miss the hangovers or the expense.

 

 

 

We really are a nation of piss heads.

I'm still early on in my abstaining but It's hard to imagine going out with my mates and not drinking, such as it has been the single thing we've all done together for all these years. i went out with a group of 7 or 8 mates (we've all been mates for 20+ years) in between Christmas and New Year and drank more than I should have and woke up next day feeling rough and regretful about it.

 

But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Main task at the moment is to get the home boozing under control.

 

I reckon I might have been spending £250 - £300 a month on drink at home which is a crazy amount of money for someone who does not have pots of cash! 

 

You're also right about drink dominating every aspect of life. Radio and TV presenters will joke about a "heavy night" and drinking and being drunk is depitcted regularly on TV even before the watershed. As an adult, in any social gathering, you're expected to drink - which is crazy really! We went out with work a few months ago and there were two people "not drinking" - one on religous grounds ("Allah does not allow it" - in his words), this reason was accepted without question and one other guy who had no such excuse - and he was pressured and harried by the group to drink!

[Leicester69]

19st 6lbs NYD 2019 and decided to cut out the booze for 3 months. I'm not what I would call a heavy drinker, couple of beers with food ever night, weekend at the match/pub and 4/5 pints max and the odd weekend binge when there was a meal/occasion etc...but the beer was becoming more of a habit, especially at home and when I did have more than a couple it was usually followed by late night snack...so decided the booze would go first.

 

3 months later, no drinking and no crap food following the beer and I was 3 stone lighter, not drinking during the week maintained the momentum and another stone went over the next few months...granted I cut out some other crap food too but the "emphasis" for it came from cutting out the booze at home.....stick with it if you're struggling, you'll feel more benefits as the time goes, and no doubt you will see other knock on benefits

[RobHawk]

Not for everyone as there is a price tag involved but for anyone wanting to make a lasting change to their relationship with alcohol but for one reason or not are struggling to do so, check out one year no beer. 

 

I've heard very good things about them.

 

https://www.oneyearnobeer.com/takethechallenge?gclid=CjwKCAiAmNbwBRBOEiwAqcwwpWvGQ3IYvRc-L4Yp9sIS9IZ4j5joCSHvgBOTfqazo5FOMAU02D0EZBoCG68QAvD_BwE

[CUJimmy]

I did sober October and have just kept going since then.  Initially some people would try to persuade me to ‘have one’ but I know I have minimal self-control.

 

Strangely I have not found going out too difficult, I still walk to the pub on Thursday nights but drink alcohol free beer or soft drinks.  Christmas and New Year were much easier than I expected and I am on holiday at the moment which is also not as difficult as I feared either.  My daughter’s graduation was the toughest as I would have loved to have a glass of Champagne with her but if I had fallen off the wagon then I might not have got back on it.  As others have said volunteering to drive helps and tends to be popular!

 

I have more or less got used to alcohol free beer now and have found that my regular haunts have been more than willing to get stuff in for me when I ask.

 

I find it much harder at home when I would love to have a glass or two of wine with a meal and the alcohol free stuff is shit except for a sparking sav blanc that I had on NYE.

 

I also like a G&T which is out of the question but there are alcohol free spirit replacements that have a bit more body that drinking just tonic.

 

 

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, stripeyfox said:

I'm still early on in my abstaining but It's hard to imagine going out with my mates and not drinking, such as it has been the single thing we've all done together for all these years. i went out with a group of 7 or 8 mates (we've all been mates for 20+ years) in between Christmas and New Year and drank more than I should have and woke up next day feeling rough and regretful about it.

 

But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. Main task at the moment is to get the home boozing under control.

 

I reckon I might have been spending £250 - £300 a month on drink at home which is a crazy amount of money for someone who does not have pots of cash! 

 

You're also right about drink dominating every aspect of life. Radio and TV presenters will joke about a "heavy night" and drinking and being drunk is depitcted regularly on TV even before the watershed. As an adult, in any social gathering, you're expected to drink - which is crazy really! We went out with work a few months ago and there were two people "not drinking" - one on religous grounds ("Allah does not allow it" - in his words), this reason was accepted without question and one other guy who had no such excuse - and he was pressured and harried by the group to drink!

Yep, it's a bizarre cultural expectation and here's my theory...

 

I reckon most people know they drink too much and deep down wish they could drink less or at least moderate their consumption. We all know we'd be fitter, healthier and wealthier if we cut down on the booze but the peer pressure prevents us from doing it. If we see someone else out and having a good time without drinking we start to wonder why.

 

Instead of rewarding that person for having the self discipline, we bully them into drinking with us - so we feel better about ourselves. If we see everyone else getting pissed it normalises it and makes it O.K. so we all follow the herd. It's all habitual but habits can be changed.

 

I've now managed to get over this peer pressure and friends/family have finally accepted I don't drink. Some think I'm weird but I can tell others are envious. I've got to be careful that I don't become 'holier than thou' though because I've been guilty of taking the piss out of non drinkers before. 

 

And don't get me wrong, I've had countless brilliant drinking sessions over the years that I look back on fondly but other sessions that I look back on and cringe. It's just safer for me not to bother these days. Plus, I'm getting on a bit now and don't socialise as much as I used to so it's very different.

 

But each to their own. I had my lifetime consumption of booze between the age of 16 - 44 whereas others will keep on drinking and that's cool.

 

I guess all I'm saying is that life can go on and still be enjoyed without the need for alcohol. 

 

 

Edited 8 January 2020 by Izzy

[Alf Bentley]

1 hour ago, stripeyfox said:

I'm still early on in my abstaining but It's hard to imagine going out with my mates and not drinking, such as it has been the single thing we've all done together for all these years.

 

 

Sounds like pub drinking isn't your main focus, but if you do want to avoid it, would you be able to just turn up anyway and brazen it out, perhaps making a joke of it? Alternatively, it's often easier to be on soft drinks while others are boozing if there's some other entertainment going on - music, football match or whatever. Or there's the option to turn up for a couple of hours for the social aspect, then go home - though you might not fancy that, or the piss-taking that would ensue.

 

It's a funny thing, peer pressure. I reckon that if I'd been trying to avoid booze in my teens or twenties, I'd have found it almost impossible due to the assumption that everyone would be drinking - and my inability to stand up to that.

Though one of my mates used to have a few pints, then switch to soft drinks but stick around for a couple of hours - I'd be amazed that he could do that, as I wouldn't have had the self-discipline.

 

It was from my 30s that I started having non-drinking periods and peer pressure wasn't really an issue. I'd turned into the wilful, contrary bloke I am today, so if anyone tried to cajole me into boozing, it made me even less likely to drink.

 

I have no problem being around friends who are drinking if they're good company - though it gets a bit boring after a few hours, if they're chatting shite and you're stone cold sober. I had a mate visit for the weekend before Xmas and we spent a night around pubs after watching LCFC lose at Man City, then had an afternoon at a pub gig, all good fun. 

 

Likewise, I don't mind having booze in the house. I have 3 Irish whiskey miniatures that belonged to my Dad that have been sitting in my cupboard for 3 years. Maybe in a few years I'll crack them open and toast his memory - or give them to someone else for a special occasion. Likewise, there's a bottle of beer in the kitchen that's been there for months after someone else visited. I wouldn't be tempted to drink it because it's what goes on in my head that determines whether I'm going to drink or not, and that isn't going to happen for a good while. Anyway, let's face it, if you seriously want a drink, you can always get one 24 hours per day now.

[Leicester_Loyal]

Only ever have a drink at home if I'm going out later on, I find it weird that people sit and booze on their own.

 

Regarding drinking when out, I've cut down a lot compared to a few years ago, probably go out and have a good amount of alcohol once a month, compared to every weekend 3 or 4 years ago. It's saved me loads of money and makes the times I do go out much more enjoyable as it's not a regular occurance. Plus it gives me less of an opportunity to be a nobhead as I can be once I drink too much and go over that line.