The joke thread

[TiffToff88]

15 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I hope you don't get involved in any pawn production or get disciplined for bashing the bishop. Leave that to the rookies.

I'll have you know i work in that same factory, in the Pawn department and it's very hard work!

[Trav Le Bleu]

5 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Well chuffed with myself. Got a new job at a chess set making factory.

 

I'm on knights this week.

Someone should check your jokes, mate.

[winteriscoming]

My dad was so tight when I was a kid instead of putting a coin in the supermarket rides he'd just move around a lot. 

[fuchsntf]

11 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

Someone should check your jokes, mate.

So long as he keeps away from the Porn sorry pawn...

[Webbo]

Some of these puns are rooking awful.

[Buce]

1 hour ago, winteriscoming said:

My dad was so tight when I was a kid instead of putting a coin in the supermarket rides he'd just move around a lot. 

 

My dad was so tight that when he found a pair of crutches he went home and crippled my brother.

Edited 22 January 2018 by Buce

[Buce]

5 hours ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I hope you don't get involved in any pawn production or get disciplined for bashing the bishop. Leave that to the rookies.

 

5 hours ago, TiffToff88 said:

I'll have you know i work in that same factory, in the Pawn department and it's very hard work!

 

11 minutes ago, fuchsntf said:

So long as he keeps away from the Porn sorry pawn...

 

Keep going, guys - another 13 pawns and we'll have a full set.

[Strokes]

6 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Well chuffed with myself. Got a new job at a chess set making factory.

 

I'm on knights this week.

Good to have you back 

[Izzy]

5 minutes ago, Strokes said:

Good to have you back 

Thanks mate. I've missed the bantz and it's good to be back and getting some abuse again 

[Buce]

 

A gang of criminals have just kidnapped the mother-in-law.

 

They've demanded £100,000 or they'll send her back.

[Trav Le Bleu]

2 hours ago, Webbo said:

Some of these puns are rooking awful.

They're downright stale, mate.

[Trav Le Bleu]

33 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

A gang of criminals have just stolen Izzy Muzzett's joke book.

 

They've demanded £100,000 or they'll give it him back.

 

[Buce]

 

I was walking down the street the other day and these construction workers were working on the roof hammering away.

 

One of them told me I was a paranoid lunatic... in morse code.

[Alf Bentley]

58 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

A gang of criminals have just kidnapped the mother-in-law.

 

They've demanded £100,000 or they'll send her back.

 

The year 1975 just called, mate. Les Dawson wants his joke back.

[Alf Bentley]

27 minutes ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

They're downright stale, mate.

 

Are you sure? I'd check, mate.

 

In other news, I hear that due to austerity the government is legislating to sell Chequers.

They've just produced the first draught.

[Trav Le Bleu]

1 minute ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

Are you sure? I'd check, mate.

 

In other news, I hear that due to austerity the government is legislating to sell Chequers.

They've just produced the first draught.

They're putting it down in black and white.

[TiffToff88]

These chess puns need to stop now. Shall we call it a knight?

[Alf Bentley]

4 minutes ago, TiffToff88 said:

These chess puns need to stop now. Shall we call it a knight?

 

Yep, time to go home. After all, an Englishman's home is his castle.

[Carl the Llama]

[Parafox]

12 hours ago, TiffToff88 said:

These chess puns need to stop now. Shall we call it a knight?

Yeah, I'm board of them now.

[Wycombe Fox]

I used to make jokes about chess. Some were good, some were bad.

 

So you could say I've got a chequered history.

[TiffToff88]

20 minutes ago, Isle of Wight Fox said:

I used to make jokes about chess. Some were good, some were bad.

 

So you could say I've got a chequered history.

How long did it take you to draught that one up?

[Wycombe Fox]

11 minutes ago, TiffToff88 said:

How long did it take you to draught that one up?

All knight and then it came to me in a Flash after some 'White Lines'

Edited 23 January 2018 by Isle of Wight Fox

[Alf Bentley]

23 minutes ago, Isle of Wight Fox said:

All knight and then it came to me in a Flash after some 'White Lines'

 

I expect you felt like a grandmaster after that.

 

 

[Wycombe Fox]

2 minutes ago, Alf Bentley said:

 

I expect you felt like a grandmaster after that.