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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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Tuna

Tuna

Posted
Posted

An elderly lady was knitting while speeding down the motorway in her car.

 

A Police Officer drew up alongside her vehicle and yelled "Pull Over!"

 

She yelled back "No, they're gloves!"

 

 

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Stadt

Stadt

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, Tuna said:

An elderly lady was knitting while speeding down the motorway in her car.

 

A Police Officer drew up alongside her vehicle and yelled "Pull Over!"

 

She yelled back "No, they're gloves!"

 

 

Lacking a bit of needle this joke

  • Haha 2
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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Paddy. said:

A rubbish joke in honour of our stricken comrade Izzy lol

 

There are reports of someone in town being shot with a starting pistol.

 

Police are saying it might be race related...

I frickin love your posts Paddy.

 

But please don’t make me laugh right now you cvnt as my new stitches might pop open :shutup:

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MPH

MPH

Posted
Posted
23 hours ago, separator said:

Saw Michael J Fox in my local florist this morning.

 

Well I think it was him, I couldn't be sure as he had his back to the fuchsias.

I thought he worked there... saw him shaking all the dead leaves off of them...

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Strokes

Strokes

Posted
Posted

An East Texas couple, both real-life rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed".

 

The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

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Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, Strokes said:

An East Texas couple, both real-life rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed".

 

The doctor asked them why, after nine children would they choose to do this. The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in North America was Mexican and they didn't want a Mexican baby because neither of them could speak Spanish.

I'm not sure that's actually a joke.

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Tuna

Tuna

Posted
Posted

Started a new job as a delivery man today.

 

When I got to my first address there was a little sticky note left on the door saying,

 

"Dear Mr delivery man, we're out, please hide in garage."

 

That was eight hours ago and still nobody's found me.

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