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Daggers

The joke thread

By Daggers, in General Chat

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RODNEY FERNIO

RODNEY FERNIO

Posted
Posted

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says if he does something stupid he might be let off work for the day,

So Paddy then hangs upside down from the rafters and screams ... I'm a light bulb , I'm a light bulb.

The foreman comes over and says I think you've had enough for the day Paddy so you better go home.

Paddy starts packing up his bags but Murphy starts to as well.

What the hell are you doing Murphy ? Says the foreman.

Well I can't work in the dark .. says Murphy. 

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justfoxes

justfoxes

Posted
Posted (edited)

4 friends in were in a bar when one went off to the go to the toilet one mentioned how proud of his son how he’d gone to business school worked his way to the top became a millionaire and gave his friend a top of the range Mercedes for his birthday !

 

Another friend had said how his son had started his own building company from nothing and became a multimillionaire and so successful he gave his friend on his birthday a 30,000 square foot mansion!

 

The third friend said how his son went to flight school became a successful pilot made millions an bought the airline and gave his friend a new jet on his birthday  ! 

 

On coming back from the toilet  the fourth friend noticed they’d been talking and one mentioned they had been saying how  proud they were of their sons, he said he was proud of his son how he had gone to university but turned out to be gay and worked in then Owned his own gay club. His friends looked bemused he then went on to say how proud he was of his son and how he made his fortune and said that he had become lucky as for his last birthday he was given a top of the range Mercedes a 30,000 square foot mansion and his own private jet by 3 of his boyfriends !!

Edited by justfoxes
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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted

Thought I'd try and spice up the love life with a bit of that 'auto asphyixiation'.


I wouldn't recommend it though...
 

It's been five days and the wife's still lying on the couch giving me the silent treatment :rolleyes:

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
7 minutes ago, Izzy said:

Thought I'd try and spice up the love life with a bit of that 'auto asphyixiation'.


I wouldn't recommend it though...
 

It's been five days and the wife's still lying on the couch giving me the silent treatment :rolleyes:

 

Now you know how much I hate being a pedant, Izzy, BUT...

 

auto-asphyxiation is something you do to yourself, not others. 

 

Very funny, otherwise. :thumbup:

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
13 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Now you know how much I hate being a pedant, Izzy, BUT...

 

auto-asphyxiation is something you do to yourself, not others. 

 

Very funny, otherwise. :thumbup:

Schoolboy error on my part.

 

I bow to your superior knowledge on the subject bro :worship:

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Alf Bentley

Alf Bentley

Posted
Posted
28 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Now you know how much I hate being a pedant, Izzy, BUT...

 

auto-asphyxiation is something you do to yourself, not others. 

 

Very funny, otherwise. :thumbup:

 

As opposed to auto-assfixication, which is here where someone has anal communion with an exhaust pipe.

 

Wouldn't do or recommend it myself, of course.

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