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BigGibbo

How Was Your Day?

By BigGibbo, in General Chat

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Parafox

Parafox

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 18/11/2023 at 19:44, Parafox said:

Today has been shit for us and it's really only our own problem but I  just need to unload so I am posting here.

 

As some here will already know we have an adopted daughter who has MH issues. 

 

Today we had 37 voicemails and at least 50 texts saying she was going to trash her flat, kick the neighbour's doors in, sleep rough then take her own life.

 

I called an ambulance and the police (we can't go near her when she's like this). We can only assume they attended but no further action was taken as we heard nothing back but she continued the abuse by text and VM's. Presumably the ambulance crew decided she had capacity to refuse treatment or transport to A&E. We don't know if the police attended.

 

I attempted to involve the "crisis" team as we were seriously concerned about her mental state. I got through to the central point of access (not the ACTUAL crisis team. I expected this, having done similar calls in my job) and, as expected, they took the details, the concerns we had and logged them on our daughter's file notes and said the "relevant team" would get in touch with her if "THEY FELT IT WAS APPROPRIATE TO DO SO"!!.

 

We all know the MH care is the least considered of all health services. 

 

Unless you're in the midst of it or have direct experience of the workings, few people understand how awful and tragic and how many deaths or injuries are a result of this severe neglect of those so vulnerable.

 

It's unforgivable. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Since this post, she didn't trash her flat or kick doors in or cut her throat. We knew this was unlikely to happen but at the time of crisis, anything is possible and we needed to take action to mitigate the potential outcome. However her mental health continues to decline.

 

Mrs P is the target, for reasons we cannot work out, and since Saturday, she has received a constant bombardment of abuse by text and voicemail until her VM inbox is full. So no more VM's can be recorded until some have been deleted. Result!.

 

No voicemails, but the texts continue. Today alone, Mrs P has received 210 abusive, hateful text messages all with the same content of accusatory, nasty, vile, vitriol.

 

We are at a loss as to how to stop it. 

 

We have considered a complete block on her. We have thought about changing our numbers but that alone brings worries that, in the real event of an emergency or something serious happening to our daughter, we would potentially not know until it's too late. We've considered involving the police but the  potential for escalating her paranoia and the possible consequences of an arrest or a criminal charge have given us grave doubts about doing this because it could result in her being evicted under the housing association rules on "criminal behaviour". Then she's really in the shite.

 

It feels like we're hamstrung by rules and circumstance as well as compassion and the desire to keep her safe, despite the intolerable situation she has created for us.

 

It's difficult to give the full expanse of the trauma of our relationship with our daughter on here. If you could listen to the voicemails or read the text messages, you'd most likely be shocked and appalled.

 

I do wonder, at times, how me and Mrs P carry out our daily lives without breaking down. Our close friends wonder the same.

 

I feel I should feel hatred and anger toward our daughter and I do at times, maybe often. But at the same time I feel so sad for her because ultimately, she is unwell.

 

Forgive my rant but this feels like the only place to let it out.

 

Anonymous venting of feelings can help. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by Parafox
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ozleicester

ozleicester

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Parafox said:

 

Since this post, she didn't trash her flat or kick doors in or cut her throat. We knew this was unlikely to happen but at the time of crisis, anything is possible and we needed to take action to mitigate the potential outcome. However her mental health continues to decline.

 

Mrs P is the target, for reasons we cannot work out, and since Saturday, she has received a constant bombardment of abuse by text and voicemail until her VM inbox is full. So no more VM's can be recorded until some have been deleted. Result!.

 

No voicemails, but the texts continue. Today alone, Mrs P has received 210 abusive, hateful text messages all with the same content of accusatory, nasty, vile, vitriol.

 

We are at a loss as to how to stop it. 

 

We have considered a complete block on her. We have thought about changing our numbers but that alone brings worries that, in the real event of an emergency or something serious happening to our daughter, we would potentially not know until it's too late. We've considered involving the police but the  potential for escalating her paranoia and the possible consequences of an arrest or a criminal charge have given us grave doubts about doing this because it could result in her being evicted under the housing association rules on "criminal behaviour". Then she's really in the shite.

 

It feels like we're hamstrung by rules and circumstance as well as compassion and the desire to keep her safe, despite the intolerable situation she has created for us.

 

It's difficult to give the full expanse of the trauma of our relationship with our daughter on here. If you could listen to the voicemails or read the text messages, you'd most likely be shocked and appalled.

 

I do wonder, at times, how me and Mrs P carry out our daily lives without breaking down. Our close friends wonder the same.

 

I feel I should feel hatred and anger toward our daughter and I do at times, maybe often. But at the same time I feel so sad for her because ultimately, she is unwell.

 

Forgive my rant but this feels like the only place to let it out.

 

Anonymous venting of feelings can help. 

 

 

 

 

 

Im so sorry, i cannot imagine just how difficult it is. Congrats for holding yourselves together.

Can only wish you all the luuck and help.

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tom27111

tom27111

Posted
Posted

We live in a really nice little village on the outskirts of Northampton. 

 

It used to have three really good pubs.

 

Two have closed.

 

Just went for a couple at the remaining pub with the Mrs and her sister and husband.

 

Most chaotic thing I've seen in a pub for a long time.

 

Full of underage drinkers, middle aged men trying to chat the 16 year old girls up, everyone vaping inside, a karaoke night for some reason. Whilst half of the building is a dedicated restaurant with decent food sat completely deserted.

 

Dogs roaming around the place, fighting each other, whilst the coked up owners couldn't care less.

 

Won't be going back there again. Obviously the place has built that reputation and attracted people who aren't local. 

 

We used to go weekly for the quiz, but thankfully, that's moved to a nice pub in the next village.

 

Quite sad, but honestly reminded me of this...

 

 

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Jattdogg

Jattdogg

Posted
Posted
42 minutes ago, tom27111 said:

We live in a really nice little village on the outskirts of Northampton. 

 

It used to have three really good pubs.

 

Two have closed.

 

Just went for a couple at the remaining pub with the Mrs and her sister and husband.

 

Most chaotic thing I've seen in a pub for a long time.

 

Full of underage drinkers, middle aged men trying to chat the 16 year old girls up, everyone vaping inside, a karaoke night for some reason. Whilst half of the building is a dedicated restaurant with decent food sat completely deserted.

 

Dogs roaming around the place, fighting each other, whilst the coked up owners couldn't care less.

 

Won't be going back there again. Obviously the place has built that reputation and attracted people who aren't local. 

 

We used to go weekly for the quiz, but thankfully, that's moved to a nice pub in the next village.

 

Quite sad, but honestly reminded me of this...

 

 

Get tested.

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Daggers

Daggers

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, tom27111 said:

We live in a really nice little village on the outskirts of Northampton. 

 

It used to have three really good pubs.

 

Two have closed.

 

Just went for a couple at the remaining pub with the Mrs and her sister and husband.

 

Most chaotic thing I've seen in a pub for a long time.

 

Full of underage drinkers, middle aged men trying to chat the 16 year old girls up, everyone vaping inside, a karaoke night for some reason. Whilst half of the building is a dedicated restaurant with decent food sat completely deserted.

 

Dogs roaming around the place, fighting each other, whilst the coked up owners couldn't care less.

 

Won't be going back there again. Obviously the place has built that reputation and attracted people who aren't local. 

 

We used to go weekly for the quiz, but thankfully, that's moved to a nice pub in the next village.

 

Quite sad, but honestly reminded me of this...

 

 

Honestly, that you judge me because I’m attractive to schoolgirls because of my vape reflects more poorly upon you than it does me. 

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The Bear

The Bear

Posted
Posted

I remember I used to go out to this big old pub that was turned into a sort of nightclub/disco on Friday nights, and the place was rammed with young people dancing to a DJ. Yet every Friday there were two old boys in their 50s/60s standing at the side of the pub just watching everyone whilst holding their pints of Pedigree. Always seemed really weird. 

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tom27111

tom27111

Posted
Posted

It's my birthday on Monday.

 

Mrs said to me this morning: "I've got a surprise for you today"

 

I replied "Yes! We're going to the Watford game, you must have logged in under my membership to get tickets!"

 

Long story short, we're in the Cotswolds for the night. Both unimpressed with each other :ph34r:

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The Bear

The Bear

Posted
Posted
10 hours ago, tom27111 said:

It's my birthday on Monday.

 

Mrs said to me this morning: "I've got a surprise for you today"

 

I replied "Yes! We're going to the Watford game, you must have logged in under my membership to get tickets!"

 

Long story short, we're in the Cotswolds for the night. Both unimpressed with each other :ph34r:

It's my birthday today. Almost same day Bday Buddies. 

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FoxesDeb

FoxesDeb

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, tom27111 said:

 

Usernames are not my forte!

 

So like me, you are the result of an over amorous valentines day lol

 

4 hours ago, The Bear said:

I suspect so, but I've never asked. Don't want to hear the story! 

I think your birthdays are a bit late to make you Valentines babies. I have 2 children who are Valentines babies, both have the same birthday although they were born 3 years apart, and much earlier in November, even though they were both overdue.

 

 

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Jattdogg

Jattdogg

Posted
Posted (edited)
14 minutes ago, FoxesDeb said:

 

I think your birthdays are a bit late to make you Valentines babies. I have 2 children who are Valentines babies, both have the same birthday although they were born 3 years apart, and much earlier in November, even though they were both overdue.

 

 

Agreed.

 

My two younger brothers both have babies on nov 11th , 1 year apart in the last 2 years.

 

My Bro inlaw welcomed his 2nd daughter on nov 9th.

 

Poor barstards fell into the valentines trap in more than 1 way :ph34r:

 

Side note: i get pummeled with 3 birthdays in 2 days now. 😆 

Edited by Jattdogg
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Livid

Livid

Posted
Posted

The last two weeks have been absolutely horrendous, really laid low by back to back viruses/colds. 
 

I was literally shivering down the match yesterday, this morning my elderly mum. wakes up with slurred speech, she’s actually improved to a point. I call 999 saying it’s a suspected stroke (no other symptoms) Paramedics turned up within minutes (benefits of living 200 metres from an ambulance station) taken into the Royal.
 

A slight delay getting in, had a full range of tests pretty much immediately and 8 hours later we’re still waiting on someone to tell us what the problem is and what’s happening.

 

I know that’s what it’s like but I’ve had better days. 

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