z-layrex Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 The best friend of my gf is dating one of my closest friends of the past 10 years. By dating I mean deffinatly 'seeing' each other for the past 2 months. I know for a fact she was at the very least kissing one of my seniors at work tonight when we went back to a friend's flat after a club. What would you guys do? Should I tell him? we are all 28.
Vacamion Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 I'm very much in the "don't get involved in other people's relationships" camp. It might be a red hot affair and one of many. On the other hand, it might be a drunken bit of nonsense which is now utterly regretted and which won't happen again. Your pal might have cheated on her and this isn't even a tenth of the payback deserved. They might have agreed with each other that they can fool around a bit, as long as they come home. You can't really be sure what's going on in other people's relationships, so I've always considered it best not to intervene. That doesn't mean you can't be utterly British about it and drop occasional passive aggressive hints of disapproval to the cheater...
z-layrex Posted 28 November 2015 Author Posted 28 November 2015 My gf completely agrees with you of course. Thanks for your advice. What makes it more ****ed up is that she is married. All be it in a ****ed up breaking down marriage.
lianne81 Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 It is a hard one to be honest. If you mate finds out you knew that could spoil the friendship between you two, but if you tell him she could wrap him round her finger and say you are lying he may end up believing her. Good luck in what you choose to do either way could end bad sorry xx
FireFox Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 Gotta tell him. Bros before hoes and all that. Or tell her you know, see what she says, and then tell her you are gonna tell him if she doesn't tell him/break up with him.
Nalis Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 If this girl is getting out of a marriage, her behaviour suggests that she needs/ wants to have some fun for a while and going straight into another relationship so soon isnt the best thing for her to do. Maybe clarify with your mate how serious he thinks it is. If its at the non official anything goes sort of stage then I'd leave it and it would only be a mind fvck for him. But if he confirms they are properly going out then you should tell him.
Webbo Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 Don't get involved. Whatever happens you won't be thanked for it.
Trav Le Bleu Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 My gf completely agrees with you of course. Thanks for your advice. What makes it more ****ed up is that she is married. All be it in a ****ed up breaking down marriage. Your gf is married? Talk about double standards!:-P
Dr The Singh Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 Join in and have a 3 some, that way you won't feel so guilty for telling your friend
Guest Manini Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 It depends how close you'd consider this friend. Try and think about it as if it were you, would you want your friend to tell you if he saw something going on behind your back? It also depends on how close your friend and this woman are, if it seems like they're in to each other then I'd definitely tell him. He shouldn't be getting in to a relationship with somebody he can't totally trust. I'd tell him..but I'm only 20, what do I know. Take singh's advice and have a threesome...**** it
MooseBreath Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 Only if you're mate is obviously being cheated on, obviously doesn't know about it, and obviously being played for a god damn fool should you do something and even then you gotta be hella subtle and preferably guide your mate towards making the discovery for himself. A kiss at a party ain't nothing for you to worry about just now. Keep an eye open but don't get involved.
ScouseFox Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 tell him, fu ck that bitch hes your best mate
Mike Oxlong Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 Gotta be a price for your silence Barter hard
Kitchandro Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 If he's your best mate you can't just ignore it. I like Mark's idea, but in this unique position I'd get your girlfriend to discuss it with her mate. It would be hard to speak to your friend without letting on that you know something, but this way you can get an understanding of what's really going on without necessarily getting involved where you don't need to. Your girlfriend might think it's best to not get involved but this bloke is obviously important to you and therefore I'd like to think she'd understand your concern. Girl's tell each other everything anyway, don't they?
mozartfox Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 May be tell your best mate you saw his bird down the gym wearing a Florist Shirt. This way he will finish with her and she can kiss who she likes.
Nick Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 Been in this situation more than once. The moral of the story is always that when you mate finds out you knew and didn't tell him your friendship will never be the same again. Do the hard thing, do the right thing and take the grief with pride in your heart and a shoulder roll, knowing your moral fabric and loyalty to do what's right is intact. I've done this and had an ex-girlfriend get upset that I dobbed her mate in (who cares) and a woman try and pour a pint over my head and received some verbal abuse etc.. but my mates know we are in this life together and I'll hold my damp head up high!
GaelicFox Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 The best friend of my gf is dating one of my closest friends of the past 10 years. By dating I mean deffinatly 'seeing' each other for the past 2 months. I know for a fact she was at the very least kissing one of my seniors at work tonight when we went back to a friend's flat after a club. What would you guys do? Should I tell him? we are all 28. Ask Benzema for some advice
The Blur Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 If he's your best mate you can't just ignore it. I like Mark's idea, but in this unique position I'd get your girlfriend to discuss it with her mate. It would be hard to speak to your friend without letting on that you know something, but this way you can get an understanding of what's really going on without necessarily getting involved where you don't need to. Your girlfriend might think it's best to not get involved but this bloke is obviously important to you and therefore I'd like to think she'd understand your concern. Girl's tell each other everything anyway, don't they? Both of your friendship with your mate and your girlfriend's friendship with her mate will be at the stake here,it will not be fair on either of you to lose their friendship (admittedly even more on you seeing that your best mate have not did anything wrong unlike your girlfriend's best mate) so if your girlfriend speak to her best mate and you end up telling your best mate then their friendship would be damaged. Are your relationship with your girlfriend strong enough to withstand the fallout? I would just confront her (only the evidence is solid) and give her a chance to confess up.
Christoph Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 If he's a proper friend then you have to tell him. Wouldnt you want your friend to tell you if your mrs was cheating on you? I'm sure you would. Of course if he isnt your close friend then the outcome doesnt matter and your better off saving yourself the head ache.
LanguedocFox Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 There's no easy answer to this. Years ago, I was in a similar situation, agonised over it and eventually plucked up the courage to tell my mate. He said it couldn't possibly be true so he carried on going out with her - until she fvcked off with his flatmate. He told me several years later (by then he was happily married) that he still felt like a complete dickhead over what had happened. Not much help, unfortunately, although I think you should probably tell him, if only to protect your friendship. If you don't and he finds out you knew, he is unlikely to be very happy with you. Best of luck.
tom27111 Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 She sounds like a slut. Try and stick your dick in her.* *I take no responsibility for any negative consequences if you follow my advice.
Countryfox Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 She sounds like a slut. Try and stick your dick in her.* *I take no responsibility for any negative consequences if you follow my advice. Sound advice Tom .... Obviously a man of the world.
MPH Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 Is she in a serious relationship so with your friend? Ask him... And if he thinks it's Pretty serious, tell her. Just say that he is seeing this as serious find If she is or isn't. Do it in a friendly way. Just tell her you don't want any broke. Hearts. Would be better if it came from her if she isn't wanting something serious or not. Probably would be the least painful way for him to move on that way than find out she has cheated on him.. Yet at the same time, if he is already In a relationship with a married woman ( albeit a marriage that's on the downward spiral) I can't imagine he would have much complaint if she 'cheated' on him...
Finnegan Posted 28 November 2015 Posted 28 November 2015 Get your missus to have a quiet word with her mate and get her side of the story. Happy medium between doing **** all and interfering.
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