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Pinkman

Depression

By Pinkman, in General Chat

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urban.spaceman

urban.spaceman

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, RumbleFox said:

Ok so not quite sure if this belongs here but here goes.....

 

I struggle with concentration and focus. Like I mean REALLY struggle. And it seems to be getting worse (I’m 39 for reference). I find it hard to complete any tasks and always flit between different things. I’ve never really given it much thought beyond “I’m just a bit scatty and forgetful” but recently it was getting me quite down. I’ve been Googling (dangerous I know) and I genuinely believe I have ADHD. Reading the symptoms wasn’t like “OMG I have a lot of these” it was “fvck. This IS me. I have 100% of these and suddenly soooooo much of my life makes sense”. Like I genuinely feel like I’ve had a revelation the last few days. I’m booked in to see someone ASAP.

 

I always assumed adhd folk were super hyper and I’m pretty placid most the time but reading about it has made me see the illness (and literally my whole life) differently. Just wondered if anyone else had it? Or any stories about it?

 

Obviously there’s a chance I get a negative diagnoses in which case I’m just a lazy shit haha. X 

 

54 minutes ago, Izzy said:

I remember about 2 years ago, I met a chap who was interested in some 121 business coaching with me. He was mid 50's, a senior director in a large corporate, and a bit of a high flyer. We had an initial meeting in London and I'll never forget how he introduced himself.

 

He said something on the lines of, "Hi, I'm Tony, nice to meet you. Before we start chatting, I just want to let you know that I suffer from ADHD. What this means is that I struggle to concentrate and sometimes waffle on a bit. I also have a tendency to shuffle around and fidget a lot. And please forgive me if I interrupt you sometimes, it's not personal, it's just that my brain works faster than my mouth"

 

I was a bit taken aback at how up front he was about it, but actually it really helped me to get to know him. He didn't wear his ADHD as a badge of honor but he wasn't embarrassed by it either. I really respected him for his honesty and we ended up working together. We're now good friends and he's doing really well both personally and professionally.

 

I reckon we're al the the spectrum somewhere Rumble, and we are what we are. Be proud of your differences and uniqueness I say.

 

X 

 

I did an online autism test a few weeks ago and it came out as 'highly likely', which for me would explain a lot. I don't know how to go about a proper diagnosis, or whether it would help, but it would be interesting to find out. 

 

There's a huge spectrum and we are all indeed on it somewhere, it's just some are more capable of identifying and mastering it than others, all at different points in their lives. This Tony sounds like he's realised it's OK to just be honest about his condition and explain beforehand why his behaviour might be unusual. That's quite inspiring for me, as he clearly knows himself and he knows how to present himself to others. 

 

So much of what you said @RumbleFox is so familiar to me, especially when I'm struggling with anxiety to even start a project as we speak (I have it perfectly mapped out in my head it's just finding the time, space, motivation and confidence to start it even though it could change my life if I do it well).

 

I think it's definitely a good idea to work out what you're struggling with and try and work out how to cope with it.

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, ajthefox said:

Starting a Mental Health First Aid course later this afternoon but feel like a bit of a fraud at the moment - I'm struggling with my productivity and stress.

As in you're leading/facilitating it?

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Parafox

Parafox

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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, RumbleFox said:

Ok so not quite sure if this belongs here but here goes.....

 

I struggle with concentration and focus. Like I mean REALLY struggle. And it seems to be getting worse (I’m 39 for reference). I find it hard to complete any tasks and always flit between different things. I’ve never really given it much thought beyond “I’m just a bit scatty and forgetful” but recently it was getting me quite down. I’ve been Googling (dangerous I know) and I genuinely believe I have ADHD. Reading the symptoms wasn’t like “OMG I have a lot of these” it was “fvck. This IS me. I have 100% of these and suddenly soooooo much of my life makes sense”. Like I genuinely feel like I’ve had a revelation the last few days. I’m booked in to see someone ASAP.

 

I always assumed adhd folk were super hyper and I’m pretty placid most the time but reading about it has made me see the illness (and literally my whole life) differently. Just wondered if anyone else had it? Or any stories about it?

 

Obviously there’s a chance I get a negative diagnoses in which case I’m just a lazy shit haha. X 

My daughter, now 28, has been diagnosed with ADHD in the last 3 years. The psych's called it "adult ADHD". I was in on the assessment she had to undergo and I was also given a checklist of my experiences of her behaviour, particularly at school. She was disruptive, she failed to make any meaningful friendships, she struggled with concentration and would mentally flit in and out of lessons. She argued with and opposed the teaching staff, refused to sit at her desk or interact appropriately with her peers, would initiate arguments and conflicts. 

I was summoned to the school many times after she had been excluded to the point where we applied for a Statement of Educational Needs which was declined as she was about to move to her next school. Inevitably she was just as difficult there and was permanently excluded after 2 months there.

As she has got older her behaviour was increasingly challenging. She couldn't sit and watch a video or concentrate long enough to play a game or interact for any extended period. 

She was never really "hyper", just aggressive, uncompliant and distant on many occasions. 

There have been an awful lot of difficulties with her that are still ongoing, for example, today because she is pre-menstrual and emotionally unstable, we have had over 100 messages calling us various names and accusing us of being uncaring and failing to accept her, all of which is untrue and that's how it goes. I know you wouldn't have that but the mood swings have always been extreme as a result.

In the current situation, she is really struggling. She's already dumped the few friends she had as she didn't think they understood her and were actively against her which to us, was a state of paranoia which she has suffered from in the past. Frankly, it's been awful for her and us trying to manage it. Her ADHD went undiagnosed for years and has resulted in other problems, associative personality disorder, mania, depression. She has been sectioned 3 times and has been in a mental health secure ITU each time. Thankfully that's a thing of the past now that she has been medically treated with the right drugs and she can live a more or less normal, independent life.

Sorry to go on but there are many undiagnosed people who just feel a bit "odd" and behave differently to the majority. ADHD gets missed in older people and they get classed and treated differently. 

I hope you get a good psych and a proper diagnosis with the correct treatment. For us, that has made a world of difference. Our daughter can mostly live as a "normal" person. Thing is don't blame yourself. It's you, but it's you with a "thing", like many others that live with a physical illness. 

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Izzy

Izzy

Posted
Posted (edited)
7 hours ago, ajthefox said:

Starting a Mental Health First Aid course later this afternoon but feel like a bit of a fraud at the moment - I'm struggling with my productivity and stress.

 

7 hours ago, Izzy said:

As in you're leading/facilitating it?

 

1 hour ago, ajthefox said:

I'm doing the training course to become a Mental Health First Aider in the workplace.

Good on ya for doing the course mate :thumbup:

 

I wouldn't for a minute suggest you're being a fraud for struggling with your own productivity and stress atm - far from it. In fact, I'd actively encourage you to 'call it out', especially in an environment like that.

 

When I run/facilitate training courses, I often let participants know if I'm struggling. As part of my intro I sometimes tell them my story of stress and burnout at an early age and my health struggles since. In fact, if I'm in the middle of a particularly bad Crohn's flare up, I'll even tell them and explain that I might have to nip off to the loo every five minutes!

 

I've learned over the years that showing my own weakness/vulnerabilities in a group gives others permission to do the same. It breaks down the barriers, builds trust, and allows people to connect at a deeper, human level. I find that being honest and true to myself is a lot easier than pretending and it liberates me to totally authentic.

 

People tend to reciprocate in my experience. If you're struggling mate, tell people. They'll want to help.

 

 

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rachhere

rachhere

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, RumbleFox said:

Ok so not quite sure if this belongs here but here goes.....

 

I struggle with concentration and focus. Like I mean REALLY struggle. And it seems to be getting worse (I’m 39 for reference). I find it hard to complete any tasks and always flit between different things. I’ve never really given it much thought beyond “I’m just a bit scatty and forgetful” but recently it was getting me quite down. I’ve been Googling (dangerous I know) and I genuinely believe I have ADHD. Reading the symptoms wasn’t like “OMG I have a lot of these” it was “fvck. This IS me. I have 100% of these and suddenly soooooo much of my life makes sense”. Like I genuinely feel like I’ve had a revelation the last few days. I’m booked in to see someone ASAP.

 

I always assumed adhd folk were super hyper and I’m pretty placid most the time but reading about it has made me see the illness (and literally my whole life) differently. Just wondered if anyone else had it? Or any stories about it?

 

Obviously there’s a chance I get a negative diagnoses in which case I’m just a lazy shit haha. X 

My best friends husband was diagnosed a couple of years back at a similar age to you. He's been given medication which is really helping him. He also took some supplements for a while which also really helped with his memory. Worth having a google. There are definitely people out there who will take this seriously in adults (he's based in Nuneaton), so I would encourage you to pursue this further. 

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HybridFox

HybridFox

Posted
Posted

Feel really low at the moment. My grandad passed away last week after a long battle with illness. Wanted to visit over the festive period but restrictions came and then we were in full lockdown. Funeral next week.

 

Work's gone from bad to worse. Getting overwhelmed with the projects piling up. Almost feel like resigning.

 

My family are really doing my head in at home. I just feel so suffocated living and working in the same bubble all the time for months with no go-to place to get a break.

 

And on top that we get this sh*** from City tonight to tarnish the season

 

Such is life

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spacemunky

spacemunky

Posted
Posted
16 hours ago, TK95 said:

Feel really low at the moment. My grandad passed away last week after a long battle with illness. Wanted to visit over the festive period but restrictions came and then we were in full lockdown. Funeral next week.

 

Work's gone from bad to worse. Getting overwhelmed with the projects piling up. Almost feel like resigning.

 

My family are really doing my head in at home. I just feel so suffocated living and working in the same bubble all the time for months with no go-to place to get a break.

 

And on top that we get this sh*** from City tonight to tarnish the season

 

Such is life

The current state of the world makes these situations that much tougher to deal with.

 

Myself, I've been out of work for quite some time and find so many days pass by that seemed meaningless.

 

Trying to find things to do and keep a positive head.

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HighPeakFox

HighPeakFox

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Buce said:

Are you seeing any results?

Well I get a sweat up, I'm using the right muscles but it's hard to judge between round and slightly less round. I need to buy some scales. 

 

Most importantly, I'm absolutely determined to see it through. 

 

I'm other news, I got my first Covid vaccine yesterday :thumbup:

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Buce

Buce

Posted
Posted
20 minutes ago, HighPeakFox said:

Well I get a sweat up, I'm using the right muscles but it's hard to judge between round and slightly less round. I need to buy some scales. 

 

Most importantly, I'm absolutely determined to see it through. 

 

I'm other news, I got my first Covid vaccine yesterday :thumbup:

 

Good man.

 

If I may offer a tip? Ditch the scales and rely on what the mirror tells you; lean muscle weighs more than fat so weight/BMI are not accurate indicators of progress.

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when_you're_smiling

when_you're_smiling

Posted
Posted
On 23/02/2021 at 10:13, RumbleFox said:

Ok so not quite sure if this belongs here but here goes.....

 

I struggle with concentration and focus. Like I mean REALLY struggle. And it seems to be getting worse (I’m 39 for reference). I find it hard to complete any tasks and always flit between different things. I’ve never really given it much thought beyond “I’m just a bit scatty and forgetful” but recently it was getting me quite down. I’ve been Googling (dangerous I know) and I genuinely believe I have ADHD. Reading the symptoms wasn’t like “OMG I have a lot of these” it was “fvck. This IS me. I have 100% of these and suddenly soooooo much of my life makes sense”. Like I genuinely feel like I’ve had a revelation the last few days. I’m booked in to see someone ASAP.

 

I always assumed adhd folk were super hyper and I’m pretty placid most the time but reading about it has made me see the illness (and literally my whole life) differently. Just wondered if anyone else had it? Or any stories about it?

 

Obviously there’s a chance I get a negative diagnoses in which case I’m just a lazy shit haha. X 

This sounds like a lot of the symptoms that led to me being diagnosed with depression. Work actually advised I go to the doctors as they were concerned about mistakes I was making due to lacking attention and forgetting stuff - but being scatty and forgetful is something that’s followed me around everywhere anyway.

 

A girlfriend once sent me for an Alzheimer’s test (I’m a few years younger than you!) which I smashed out the park. About the first time I’ve got a perfect score in something since I was at Primary School.

 

You know yourself best though and I’ve no idea what the ADHD symptoms are. Might be worth speaking to a doctor though if you think it affects your relationships and/or work and gives you peace of mind.

 

(I’ve got distracted three times writing this today and forgot to press send!)

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RumbleFox

RumbleFox

Posted
Posted
54 minutes ago, when_you're_smiling said:

This sounds like a lot of the symptoms that led to me being diagnosed with depression. Work actually advised I go to the doctors as they were concerned about mistakes I was making due to lacking attention and forgetting stuff - but being scatty and forgetful is something that’s followed me around everywhere anyway.

 

A girlfriend once sent me for an Alzheimer’s test (I’m a few years younger than you!) which I smashed out the park. About the first time I’ve got a perfect score in something since I was at Primary School.

 

You know yourself best though and I’ve no idea what the ADHD symptoms are. Might be worth speaking to a doctor though if you think it affects your relationships and/or work and gives you peace of mind.

 

(I’ve got distracted three times writing this today and forgot to press send!)

Thanks for your reply. Yeah I’m open minded and it wouldn’t surprise me if I had depression, I’ve certainly had periods of it in my life. I suppose hopefully speaking to someone (I’m hooked with a specialist next week) will at least help me figure out what the issue is. I was worried too I had early onset dementia. I’m so scatty. Anyway, I’ll update this thread once I get any news. 

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Ian Nacho

Ian Nacho

Posted
Posted

Thursdays game was a real trigger for a low period of me. Quite literally straight after the game I was getting low/anxious about completely separate things. One of the biggest things I miss from not actually going to the games is that walk back to the car where you can calm down a bit. When you watch games from home, it causes all kinds of emotions to bubble up. 

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Danno

Danno

Posted
Posted
18 hours ago, Ian Nacho said:

Thursdays game was a real trigger for a low period of me. Quite literally straight after the game I was getting low/anxious about completely separate things. One of the biggest things I miss from not actually going to the games is that walk back to the car where you can calm down a bit. When you watch games from home, it causes all kinds of emotions to bubble up. 

Yeah me too, and feel ****ing worse again after that shit sandwich we got served up this afternoon.

 

I really hate how much anxiety makes me overthink absolutely everything. Can’t go 2 minutes without thinking my girlfriends gone off me when in reality it’s the opposite. Really don’t know what to do about it and the worse thing is she has no idea and I’m really afraid to tell her without coming across as some obsessive weirdo 

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HybridFox

HybridFox

Posted
Posted

Returning to work after a family funeral has been tough this week. My mind isn't really in it but these deadlines aren't going to ease themselves.

 

I've been here before when a close family member passed away while I was at uni several years ago. Almost went off the rails then and it's as if I can sense it happening again

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Nalis

Nalis

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41 minutes ago, Bert said:

Today is a bad day for me. I feel like I don’t want to be around anymore. 

Pick a random page on this thread and read some of the comments offering advice or help. Some excellent posts on here over the years that I've completely forgotten. I dont post much on this thread but when I've felt low its a small step that helped for me.

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