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Pinkman

Depression

By Pinkman, in General Chat

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Daggers

Daggers

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On 24/07/2021 at 12:31, urban.spaceman said:

I honestly feel like I don't just want to be here any more like 90% of the time these days. 

Every time I thought I was pulling things together and “better”, stuff would happen, I’d feel knocked down, the light in the tunnel would recede. But most of the time I wouldn’t be knocked back to the beginning. Gradually, slowly, I grew to recognise that the knocks weren’t as bad and the falls not as severe. It took time - a f*** ton of time, almost a decade. But that’s me.

 

You’ll get there. If you’re working on your fitness you’re already doing something really difficult and impressive. I started my drive to drop the “breakdown” weight a couple of months ago, some weeks I sweat buckets and little changes - some weeks half a stone vanishes and my FTP soars…some weeks I hit pizza and beer and don’t beat myself up for it.
 

I’ve tried getting into routines over and over with it all collapsing because I couldn’t stick to a regular schedule. The best thing I found for that was signing up for Man V Fat football. The Tuesday night weigh in is good, but it’s the other matches during the week that got me enthused about fitness again.

 

And there’ll come a time when you do want to be here. Honestly, I weep now when thinking about my suicide attempts, how it could have ended so differently, what I put my family through, and how happy we are now.

 

If you ever want to talk I’m happy to give you my mobile. I’ll not say anything, just listen if you want. You already have some building blocks in place to pull it together - you got this.

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Wymsey

Wymsey

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3 minutes ago, TK95 said:

Feeling really overwhelmed today by everything. Could have really done with this being a Friday so I have the weekend to breathe. Just too much to do

Those feelings are natural, mate.

 

You can only do so much, we're not robots.

 

Could you be able to do some of the things that needs doing at another day/time?

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urban.spaceman

urban.spaceman

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On 25/07/2021 at 07:36, Crinklyfox said:

I'm glad that you can still put your fitness quest setback into context.  One of the problems with depression is a tendency to focus only on the negative aspects of life and ignore the positives, for example any progress you may have made in your fitness quest prior to the setback,

 

In good times we have a natural ability to bounce back from negative events, but I liken this ability to the shock absorbers on a car.  When they're in good condition you can ride out a rough road but when they get worn down from impact after impact after impact any little bump can feel like a chasm.  So when there are many things that negatively affect your life they can feel overwhelming, and it's easy to believe that things won't get better.

 

It's harder if you don't have anyone that you can talk to about your situation, good friends and family can help.  One technique I tried when I was down and away from home (I used to travel internationally in my work) was to imagine that a friend of mine had come to me and described all the feelings that I had about himself.  I asked myself, what would I say to him?  I certainly wouldn't be critical and I'd try to do what I could to help him get through it, knowing that for most of us there are good and bad times in our lives.  Then I'd tell myself the same and try to shut up the negative thoughts in my head that told me that I wasn't good enough and that there was no hope for the future.  That helped me carry on and the future was worth it.  I hope that it will be for you as well.

 

 

On 28/07/2021 at 17:02, pmcla26 said:

I can resonate with this. Life feels like a constant hamster wheel all the time. Take one step forward but then other bits and pieces come up and it just makes you feel like what you've just done means F all in comparison. 

 

13 hours ago, Daggers said:

Every time I thought I was pulling things together and “better”, stuff would happen, I’d feel knocked down, the light in the tunnel would recede. But most of the time I wouldn’t be knocked back to the beginning. Gradually, slowly, I grew to recognise that the knocks weren’t as bad and the falls not as severe. It took time - a f*** ton of time, almost a decade. But that’s me.

 

You’ll get there. If you’re working on your fitness you’re already doing something really difficult and impressive. I started my drive to drop the “breakdown” weight a couple of months ago, some weeks I sweat buckets and little changes - some weeks half a stone vanishes and my FTP soars…some weeks I hit pizza and beer and don’t beat myself up for it.
 

I’ve tried getting into routines over and over with it all collapsing because I couldn’t stick to a regular schedule. The best thing I found for that was signing up for Man V Fat football. The Tuesday night weigh in is good, but it’s the other matches during the week that got me enthused about fitness again.

 

And there’ll come a time when you do want to be here. Honestly, I weep now when thinking about my suicide attempts, how it could have ended so differently, what I put my family through, and how happy we are now.

 

If you ever want to talk I’m happy to give you my mobile. I’ll not say anything, just listen if you want. You already have some building blocks in place to pull it together - you got this.

Much love and thanks for your support lads. I read your replies straight away but needed to absorb them before replying. I feel like I need to gather as much kindness as possible and indulge in it for a while! Had a much better week this week, though my MH is volatile it’s not at its worst currently. Walked and walked and walked this week, upped my steps by 2500 a day and have so far lost almost half a stone, which makes it 3 stone overall since September (would have been more but for lockdowns). Should be back in the gym next week hopefully. 

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Daggers

Daggers

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6 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

 

 

Much love and thanks for your support lads. I read your replies straight away but needed to absorb them before replying. I feel like I need to gather as much kindness as possible and indulge in it for a while! Had a much better week this week, though my MH is volatile it’s not at its worst currently. Walked and walked and walked this week, upped my steps by 2500 a day and have so far lost almost half a stone, which makes it 3 stone overall since September (would have been more but for lockdowns). Should be back in the gym next week hopefully. 

That’s just outstanding. The mental fortitude needed to drop three stone is deeply impressive. How many more to go?

 

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spacemunky

spacemunky

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Since we are discussing weight loss...

 

I finally got myself under the 180 lb (81.5 kg) mark. First time in a long time and at one point I'd gone as high as 200 lbs (91 kg) .

 

Been 1 month since I'd quit drinking and started walking daily.

 

Feeling a lot better.

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Buce

Buce

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2 hours ago, Carl the Llama said:

Anyone had any experience with sertraline (sp?)?  I've had a few eventful days culminating in being prescribed some of that and counselling.  

 

Not personally, Carl, but a quick look online yields some interesting stuff that you maybe should take note of.

 

This in particular seems worth knowing:

 

'Tyramine-Rich Food Products: Interaction between sertraline and tyramine-rich foods like cheese, milk, beef, chicken liver, meat extract, avocados, bananas, canned figs, soy beans and excess chocolate can result in a sudden and dangerous increase in blood pressure.'
 
'Cannabis Sativa: You should not use cannabis while on sertraline since the combination may cause symptoms like confusion, panic, nervousness and anxiety.'
 
'Sertraline interactions with caffeine: Avoid cola drinks, chocolate, and caffeine food items, since the combination can result in a condition called serotonin syndrome with symptoms of high fever, agitation, vomiting, nausea, rapid heartbeat, trembling, sweating and weird movements on the muscles'
 
 
Hope you're ok, mate; feel free to message me if you want to chat.
 
Edited by Buce
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Izzy

Izzy

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36 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

Anyone had any experience with sertraline (sp?)?  I've had a few eventful days culminating in being prescribed some of that and counselling.  

My 14 year old daughter takes Sertraline mate and it's been a life changer for her. The difference we've noticed in the last 6 months since she started taking it has been huge (coupled with on-going counselling)

 

I hope you're O.K. and keep posting on here to let us know how you're getting on.

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Carl the Llama

Carl the Llama

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4 minutes ago, Buce said:

'Cannabis Sativa: You should not use cannabis while on sertraline since the combination may cause symptoms like confusion, panic, nervousness and anxiety.'

Yeah, that it changes how weed hits is the first thing I've noticed. lol   That's fine, I've been leaning towards taking a break anyway and the unpleasantness makes it that much easier.

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Carl the Llama

Carl the Llama

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7 minutes ago, Buce said:

'Sertraline interactions with caffeine: Avoid cola drinks, chocolate, and caffeine food items, since the combination can result in a condition called serotonin syndrome with symptoms of high fever, agitation, vomiting, nausea, rapid heartbeat, trembling, sweating and weird movements on the muscles'

This could be more of an issue, wish I'd read this before doing my shift with the 3 or 4 coffees that come with it. lol  Genuinely going to be a challenge unlike the weed, thanks for making me aware.

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FerrisBueller

FerrisBueller

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1 hour ago, Carl the Llama said:

Yeah, that it changes how weed hits is the first thing I've noticed. lol   That's fine, I've been leaning towards taking a break anyway and the unpleasantness makes it that much easier.

I smoked for years whilst on it, it was only when I took the dosage down that I started getting come up anxiety when I smoked. Made me stop it for good, which is probably a good thing…

 

Come to think of it, I probably have done a lot of things you probably shouldn’t whilst on this, probably extremely lucky not to have experienced Serotonin Syndrome!

 

I found it helped initially but after a good few years it doesn’t seem to have the same efficacy for me, it’s definitely not for everyone but most people seem to have positive experiences with it.

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Wymsey

Wymsey

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Posted (edited)

For those who are struggling with how they feel, please just talk to someone you can trust; speaking to someone that you know you can trust can help with dealing with any issues you're experiencing more than you possibly know.

 

It's never too embarrassing or late to discuss what's bothering you/on your mind.

 

You're certainly not alone (although it can certainly feel like it when thinking/over-thinking about certain life issues).

 

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/man-asked-family-ok-end-5768127

Edited by Wymsey
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Silebyfox_89

Silebyfox_89

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On 11/08/2021 at 13:23, Carl the Llama said:

Anyone had any experience with sertraline (sp?)?  I've had a few eventful days culminating in being prescribed some of that and counselling.  

Was put on this a few years ago when i went through a anxiety & mild depression spell, it made me worse as i have high blood pressure and was put on citalopram instead.

 

Always got time for people who need a chat as i've been there, its a difficult place but i've come out of it and on gotten better.

 

PM me if anyone needs a chat/let of some steam or someone to listen too, happy to help in any way i can.

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Leicester_Loyal

Leicester_Loyal

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Been on top of the world for the past 2 months or so, finally got my house sorted etc. Now I feel at rock bottom again ever since my ex has been messaging me again, I wish I had the strength to block her out of my life for good. I've spent the morning wondering what's the point in life.

 

I've self referred myself for counselling, I'm embarrassed because the situation is all my own doing, if I was stronger it wouldn't be like this.

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