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Pinkman

Depression

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2 minutes ago, Langston said:

For all I know you might already be active @StanSP but I fully recommend getting on some kind of exercise bandwagon, however clichéd or simplistic it might sound! It's definitely not a panacea for everybody - and I'd really like to add that I tend to get more "fed up" than anything else more serious, thankfully - but I find if I ever feel like I'm going through the motions, or work feels never-ending, that just going for a run, trying to set new achievements on Strava (as trivial as that comes across) and the little serotonin boosts that come from it really seem to balance any sluggish feelings very well. 

 

If I ever feel a bit low, or purposeless, looking at exactly how I'm spending my time seems to help. Could the hour a night I'm spending sat on my backside refreshing Foxestalk / Instagram be better spent outdoors, ultimately looking after myself? 

I found walking helped through lockdown times while there was very little else to do in forms of exercise outside of the house. I play football twice a week and absolutely love it. I'm at one of my happiest times then. Not only does it help me get out of the house and away from the work environment but it's what I just enjoy doing. I feel so much better after it too. 

 

But that's only 2 days in the week. 

 

And not to make excuses or anything like that, but if I go for a walk I tend to overthink, too. One of the overbearing thoughts I have is my self-worth or lack of it or thinking too much about how people judge me or view me, be it work or personally. I need to give less of a shit of what people think about me or what I do but I find that difficult because I like to please. Sometimes works against me though and I feel it. 

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On 06/05/2021 at 00:36, chrishlcfc said:

I’ve had the worst last 2 or 3 days ever. Just keep thinking about ending everything all the time. I do genuinely think I’d feel better now if I wasn’t here.

Hope you're okay mate. Noticed you were online 1 hour ago so I'm glad you're still here.

 

I'm feeling exactly how you're feeling. I dont know what happened on Friday but **** me I've been so low since. Even self harmed which I've never done before. Honestly wish I wasn't such a coward so I could just end it all. 

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5 hours ago, Brooksy said:

Hope you're okay mate. Noticed you were online 1 hour ago so I'm glad you're still here.

 

I'm feeling exactly how you're feeling. I dont know what happened on Friday but **** me I've been so low since. Even self harmed which I've never done before. Honestly wish I wasn't such a coward so I could just end it all. 

Keep your head up mate. 

 

Things could be tough one day but you never know what's around the corner and what could be worth sticking around for. That's the way I've looked at things lately. Life is one big film and you can't afford to miss what happens next. 

 

My inbox is always open. 

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9 hours ago, Brooksy said:

Hope you're okay mate. Noticed you were online 1 hour ago so I'm glad you're still here.

 

I'm feeling exactly how you're feeling. I dont know what happened on Friday but **** me I've been so low since. Even self harmed which I've never done before. Honestly wish I wasn't such a coward so I could just end it all. 


Stay strong mate, I still feel pretty crap to be honest but you just have to try and keep going as best as you can.
 

I find it overwhelming the way I feel almost constantly nervous, scared, tense and just massively depressed. I get those urges to end it all regularly as well but you have to try and think it’s an illness and you can and will get better.
 

All I can recommend is trying to talk to people, as already proven in the response to your message there is a lot of people on here you can talk too.
 

I’m trying to seek help and get private counselling. That’s not for everyone but speak to your GP if you can and they will try and help and support you.

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I'm always here if anyone needs to talk. Inbox always open. I'm signed off work at the moment as it's all just got a bit much and I feel like I'm spinning too many plates. I need to care for myself for once then I can care for the kids at work again. 

 

Hope everyone is doing OK today 

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10 hours ago, HighPeakFox said:

That's not cowardice - well done for speaking up.  I've had some tough days lately too...feelings pass, they're not permanent.

 

No, they're not, but they are horribly recurrent.

 

I sometimes feel like I'm winning the battles but losing the war.

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45 minutes ago, Hales said:

I'm always here if anyone needs to talk. Inbox always open. I'm signed off work at the moment as it's all just got a bit much and I feel like I'm spinning too many plates. I need to care for myself for once then I can care for the kids at work again. 

 

Hope everyone is doing OK today 

Make sure you only give what you can afford. Sounds like you need time off for a reason. 

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My motivation and drive since Christmas has been non existent. I had hoped that lockdown easing would help, but, if anything, I've got even less motivation or desire to see anyone or do anything since then.

 

Physically and mentally exhausted all the time.  

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16 hours ago, David Guiza said:

My motivation and drive since Christmas has been non existent. I had hoped that lockdown easing would help, but, if anything, I've got even less motivation or desire to see anyone or do anything since then.

 

Physically and mentally exhausted all the time.  

There's a couple of things that might help.  What you're describing can be a symptom of depression.  I went to my GP many years ago when I felt a lot like how you're describing your feelings now.  He told me that I was suffering from depression and one of the outcomes of depression was that the body stopped producing the chemicals that make us feel good and motivated.  He also said that this was a vicious cycle that usually only got worse, and that it was necessary to break it chemically by me taking drugs that would substitute for the chemicals my body was lacking.  I took these for a month and they really helped me get over the physical symptoms of depression.  So please consider seeing your GP.

 

The other thing I did to help me feel better was to set myself very small but achievable tasks, such as go out for a walk to get some fresh air, hoover the living room, etc.  All things that require little real effort and can be achieved quickly.  No matter how small the task I set myself, I felt better for achieving it, and that gave me motivation to do more.

 

Once I was in a better state of mind I was able to concentrate on tackling the source of my depression, but I would have had no chance of doing that if I hadn't overcome the symptoms first.

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How does one differ depression to just being sad? 
 

About a month ago everything seemed perfect with everything on track work and relationship wise. Its the best ive felt but now its seemed to have fallen apart in the space of a week

 

i know life has its ups and downs and this is another one of several down periods for me but how many downs can a person take. 

 

Although not directly linked to what has happened recently, a part of me feels the whole wfh situation is also finally taking its toll. 
 

not being able to go to games or even play football is killing me which feels stupid to say. So glad I got tickets for Tottenham as I see the one gleaming light of so far a terrible week for me

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I’ve never had long term depression but really went through it last year - I had no idea how bad it is possible to feel even though there is nothing physically wrong with you.
 

Technically speaking, my life is still fvcked other than work (I got lucky and got the best job I’ve ever had right in the middle of the worst part) - I’ll be renting for the first time in 20 years in a few weeks and living alone, and the last time I was doing that I had my mate in the flat upstairs, loads of other mates within a few miles and was doing stuff every weekend with them. That won’t be the case now, I’m pushing 50 and will be alone in a new town.

 

But I’m not depressed any more. I still get stabs of emotional pain and bouts of anger when I consider the manipulative abuser I gave everything up for, but my eyes are on the future and it’s bright (I don’t know how or why yet but it is). 
 

So what turned things around for me? Things I love that don’t rely on anyone else. Hobbies I’m passionate about (making electronic music, playing guitar) reading, the City. I can spend more time doing these things than ever before and the cumulative enjoyment this has created has pulled me up by the bootstraps, to the point where I can start enjoying things outside of my own little world.

 

Don’t know if that helps anyone going through it, but it’s my story.

 

TLDR: try and do stuff 🙂

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I know its not a cure and its not simple; but I do hope today gave some of you a lift.

 

I think what today has shown for all of us is that there is a community of people here for us; and that should be the case is good and bad times; just reach out.

 

 

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On 14/05/2021 at 15:08, Swarles Barkley said:

How does one differ depression to just being sad? 
 

About a month ago everything seemed perfect with everything on track work and relationship wise. Its the best ive felt but now its seemed to have fallen apart in the space of a week

 

i know life has its ups and downs and this is another one of several down periods for me but how many downs can a person take. 

 

Although not directly linked to what has happened recently, a part of me feels the whole wfh situation is also finally taking its toll. 
 

not being able to go to games or even play football is killing me which feels stupid to say. So glad I got tickets for Tottenham as I see the one gleaming light of so far a terrible week for me

In my view being sad when bad things happen is not depression, it's a normal response.  Clinical depression is a condition, some would describe it as an illness.  A person experiencing normal emotional responses will feel good when positive events happen in their life and bad when negative events happen.  A clinically depressed person will be largely unable to feel good, or as good as they should, in response to a positive event.  Such a person is also likely to overly concentrate on negatives rather than taking a balanced view of their situation.  It's a bit like looking at a piece of white paper with some black dots on it and concentrating only on the black dots.

 

We all need positives to counter the negatives that we will almost inevitably encounter in life and there are times when the negatives overwhelm the positives; that may result in us changing situations in our lives that are the root cause of the negatives.  In those times it really helps to have the support of family or friends who can provide the positives that we need to lift our spirits.

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4 hours ago, Crinklyfox said:

In my view being sad when bad things happen is not depression, it's a normal response.  Clinical depression is a condition, some would describe it as an illness.  A person experiencing normal emotional responses will feel good when positive events happen in their life and bad when negative events happen.  A clinically depressed person will be largely unable to feel good, or as good as they should, in response to a positive event.  Such a person is also likely to overly concentrate on negatives rather than taking a balanced view of their situation.  It's a bit like looking at a piece of white paper with some black dots on it and concentrating only on the black dots.

 

We all need positives to counter the negatives that we will almost inevitably encounter in life and there are times when the negatives overwhelm the positives; that may result in us changing situations in our lives that are the root cause of the negatives.  In those times it really helps to have the support of family or friends who can provide the positives that we need to lift our spirits.

 

Wise words, as ever.

 

I suppose that another aspect of this is that someone who does not tend to get clinically depressed can become so, either temporarily or long-term, due to the impact of the "bad things" that happen to us all at some point....or is that PTSD?

 

I can be quite volatile emotionally - happy one day/hour, sad another, sometimes for no reason. But I don't think that I'm generally vulnerable to clinical depression.

 

However, when my Dad died about 5 years ago, on top of several other "bad things", I experienced something different for the first time. In addition to normal sadness, I started having to go to bed to sleep for 2-4 hours in the afternoon (self-employed, working from home, so could do that). I also started getting in rages over nothing and became anxious, expecting other bad things to happen, whereas I'm not usually a worrier at all. 

 

My GP got me to do a questionnaire, which suggested I had moderate depression and mild anxiety. I was sent on a group course for people suffering such issues, but didn't find it beneficial because it was designed for people who suffered such problems on a chronic basis, not because of an identifiable trigger. Fortunately, after about 3 months, these symptoms went away and I was just left with more normal feelings of sadness and loss that I could cope with - and that in turn faded over a few years.

 

But, I suppose there was nothing inevitable about those problems going away of their own volition. That moderate depression and mild anxiety might have continued or got worse. A reminder to me, I suppose, that - like many things in life - while some are more or less vulnerable to particular problems, anyone can end up struggling (temporarily or long-term).

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Weekends like this show me there's light at the end of the tunnel. I have not switched off from every problem in life and basked in pure joy like this for a very very long time. I don't know how long the buzz will last but I will take this positivity as far as I can.

 

Hope the cup win gave many of us here a much needed lift too 

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Depression isn’t feeling blue. Depression is feeling nothing at all. Numb, empty, void - useless, hopeless, pointless and a drag on everyone you know. Depression is when the hours of dark reach into the hours of day locked out behind the closed curtains and nothing is noticeably different. Where you do nothing at all but stare into an abyss and wonder why you’re still here. Depression is slashing your wrists, trying to leap from a car doing 70, taking an overdose because you think that will end your pain and the pain of those who have to suffer you. That was mine anyway.

 

Depression isn’t “cured” either. It’s a very long road back with many pitfalls. No doctor will stop it, no medication will blot it out. Get support, do every course offered to you, take the things that work for you and add them into your life. Keep doing those things until they become routine. A troubled year becomes five. A hard five becomes a decade. You get there eventually.

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