The joke thread

[Trav Le Bleu]

1 hour ago, Mythyaar said:

There was this fat bird standing between me and the loo at the Italian restaurant.

 

I couldn't get pasta.

 

[Buce]

 

Whoever it was that stole my Microsoft Office, you're gonna be sorry.

 

You have my Word.

 

 

[Strokes]

5 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Whoever it was that stole my Microsoft Office, you're gonna be sorry.

 

You have my Word.

 

 

Excel lent pun.

[Izzy]

28 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Whoever it was that stole my Microsoft Office, you're gonna be sorry.

 

You have my Word.

 

 

You really shouldn't have given them Access to your stuff mate...

[ajthefox]

58 minutes ago, Buce said:

 

Whoever it was that stole my Microsoft Office, you're gonna be sorry.

 

You have my Word.

 

 

Forget it Buce, it's only software. Just maintain that positive Outlook and you'll be ok.

[Mythyaar]

The wife brought home a tub of ice cream and asked if I wanted some.

"How hard is it?" I asked.

She cheekily said "as hard as your cock when you think about me naked".

"Go on then" I said "pour us a glass".

[kingcarr21]

Keep going and eventually one of your jokes will be funny  

[Trav Le Bleu]

16 hours ago, Buce said:

 

Whoever it was that stole my Microsoft Office, you're gonna be sorry.

 

You have my Word.

 

 

 

16 hours ago, Strokes said:

Excel lent pun.

 

16 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

You really shouldn't have given them Access to your stuff mate...

 

15 hours ago, ajthefox said:

Forget it Buce, it's only software. Just maintain that positive Outlook and you'll be ok.

Are you lot going to spreadsheet jokes throughout the forum?

[Beliall]

 

 

 

 

[Izzy]

1 hour ago, Trav Le Bleu said:

 

Are you lot going to spreadsheet jokes throughout the forum?

These Microsoft Office jokes are so good, we're going to need ............. a Publisher 

[Jon the Hat]

29 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

These Microsoft Office jokes are so good, we're going to need ............. a Publisher 

  Your visio(n) is clear.

[Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo]

Powerpoint.

[Jon the Hat]

Some impressive Lync(s) going on in this thread.

[Izzy]

35 minutes ago, Julian Joachim Jr Shabadoo said:

Powerpoint.

'Works' for me 

[AKCJ]

Whats the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

 

One weighs a tonne, the other is a little lighter.

[TiffToff88]

Have you ever tried a Chicken Tarka? Its like a Tikka, but a little 'otter

 

EDIT, just searched this, and i was beaten to the joke on another thread by about 10 months 

Edited 5 April 2017 by TiffToff88

[Buce]

 

I've just seen a bloke chatting up a cheetah.

 

I thought, He's trying to pull a fast one..

[Buce]

I went out shopping for some camouflage trousers, but I couldn't find any..

[ozleicester]

On 4/4/2017 at 04:11, Buce said:

 

Whoever it was that stole my Microsoft Office, you're gonna be sorry.

 

You have my Word.

 

 

wow settle down, your making a powerful point

[Renart]

The first rule of Alzheimer's club is don't talk about Chess Club.

[Parafox]

I found a recipe for an Indian yoghurt-based dip made from old Beatles stories.

 

I bet you don't know what it was called?

[Carl the Llama]

2 minutes ago, Parafox said:

I found a recipe for an Indian yoghurt-based dip made from old Beatles stories.

 

I bet you don't know what it was called?

Paperback Pachadi?  I don't get it.

[Parafox]

14 minutes ago, Carl the Llama said:

Paperback Pachadi?  I don't get it.

Close  Carl but not quite right...

[Facecloth]

1 minute ago, Parafox said:

Close  Carl but not quite right...

Paperback Raita?

[Parafox]

1 minute ago, Facecloth said:

Paperback Raita?

Damn you, my hopes of multiple replies have been dashed. Take a rep.