Things You Believed as a Kid

[Tielemans63]

This came up when I was out with a few mates at the weekend and made for a pretty funny conversation. I'll kick off with a few things I believed as a kid:

You should never swallow an apple pip because then an apple tree grows in your stomach - one of my first memories is of me roaring my eyes out because I accidentally swallowed a pip and thought my days were numbered!

God decided at random if / when women got pregnant - probably got this from the mad catholic side of my family bit I genuinely believed that women just got pregnant randomly because God would just decide "Bam, you're pregnant" at his behest.

Probably the best I heard that afternoon was from my best mate who as a kid misheard that the equator was a LION that ran round the Earth. When he and his folks went abroad he always asked "will we see the lion?". They never knew what the feck he was on about!

Anyways, look forward to your offerings.

[Mr.X]

As a child when I used to watch old black and white films/programs, I thought that in the old days everything in the world was black and white. And that at night the clocks would turn off. The things little children can believe

[Webbo]

When I was little and needed a poo but couldn't go my dad told me if he squeezed my head it would help and did squeeze my head on occasions. Being little I genuinely believed this helped.

[RobHawk]

Russell Hoult and his famous "hotdog kid" moment.

 

For years i thought he was just a person in the crowd that they decided could play. I had no concept of youth team or anything! Was a full kit willy puller from the age of 7 until about 10 hoping i'd get the call if needed!

[Rincewind]

The big dude in the sky or more I never questioned the existance

[Dan]

I used to wonder how a Reindeer in Rudolph could drink a bowl of water without spilling any.

[ToeKneeHandCock]

My Dad once told me that sheep's legs were shorter on one side of their body than the other so that they could stand on hills without falling over. Something I believed until I was about 13-14 when I piped up at school with this gem of knowledge and had everyone rip the piss.

[NewburyFox]

Being half-Welsh I used to go to Wales regularly with my mum, and she always claimed that when you drove over the border there was a bump. I never felt it and for some reason it didn't click that she may not have been telling the truth. I was left disappointed every trip.

[StanSP]

I once misunderstood my brother telling me that a footballer who missed a match was being rested. What I heard was that a footballer had been 'arrested'.

[Vacamion]

That the face I was pulling would stick like that.

Bitch was right.

[MPH]

My friends used to tell me of a place near stoney stanton/ thurlaston area they would go play at called the bum hole. Always thought it was a weird name.

Wasnt until my early 20's I finally cottoned on that they meant the bomb hole

[goose2010]

My friends used to tell me of a place near stoney stanton/ thurlaston area they would go play at called the bum hole. Always thought it was a weird name.

Wasnt until my early 20's I finally cottoned on that they meant the bomb hole

 

 exactly the same as me!!! 

[kingfox]

Until I was seven I thought I was born in Scotland.

 

As my parents said they had visited the place.

[RonnieTodger]

Russell Hoult and his famous "hotdog kid" moment.

 

For years i thought he was just a person in the crowd that they decided could play. I had no concept of youth team or anything! Was a full kit willy puller from the age of 7 until about 10 hoping i'd get the call if needed!

 

can't believe someone else did that!

[Fox92]

My Dad once told me that sheep's legs were shorter on one side of their body than the other so that they could stand on hills without falling over. Something I believed until I was about 13-14 when I piped up at school with this gem of knowledge and had everyone rip the piss.

 

 

My late Grandad used to tell me this.

[Parafox]

I used to believe that, in the old cowboy films, the baddies that got shot were actual convicted criminals who had been sentenced to death.

[Corky]

Leicester playing in the Premier League, winning trophies, beating the big clubs and competing in the UEFA Cup was the norm.

[Bert]

Santa Claus. The fat fictitious bastard.  

[absolutelegend]

if you eat apple pips then an apple tree starts growing in your stomach

[potter3]

First time I went to a Leicester match I asked "Why isn't there a commentator?"

[Tielemans63]

I once misunderstood my brother telling me that a footballer who missed a match was being rested. What I heard was that a footballer had been 'arrested'.

Sort of along the same lines: when I was about 12 and my brother was 11, we told our youngest brother,6, that fouls weren't allowed in football (true) except in injury time. We told him that injury time meant a three minute window at the end of the game where there were no free kicks and you could 'injure' the opposition as much as possible.

When we were having a kick about in the garden one of us would shout 'injury time' and our youngest bro would literally leg it into the house because he knew he was about to get a battering. Pretty cruel really.

[sphericalfox]

First time I went to a Leicester match I asked "Why isn't there a commentator?"

the stadium is full of them 

[Voll Blau]

Used to believe the Ministry of Sound was an actual government department.

[sphericalfox]

For some reason I believed that if I gave a steady stream of pish in the loo that the germs in said loo could travel up the stream and infect me. Short spurts from there on in until I knew better.

[Beliall]

My Dad once told me that sheep's legs were shorter on one side of their body than the other so that they could stand on hills without falling over. Something I believed until I was about 13-14 when I piped up at school with this gem of knowledge and had everyone rip the piss.

 

thats gold, im going to use that on my lot

My friends used to tell me of a place near stoney stanton/ thurlaston area they would go play at called the bum hole. Always thought it was a weird name.

Wasnt until my early 20's I finally cottoned on that they meant the bomb hole

 

I used to play there, completely forgot it existed! never thought it was the bum hole though