Depression

[spacemunky]

Happy to hear things are good with you Tom

[ozleicester]

2 hours ago, tom27111 said:

A bit more of an update for everyone...it's not gloating, just an update and showing people you can get through this...

 

Loving my job, just working in a bar, but it's going really well and I'm already in line for a promotion. Nobody there likes sport, so I'm charge of twitter, mainly big up Leicester and slag off other teams! 

 

Found a place of my own to move into at the start of December, can't wait.

 

Seeing a girl who is incredible, knows all about my past and is fine with everything. 

 

Basically, things are good. 11 months since I was voluntary in hospital.

 

Everyone can get through this.

 

A huge thank you to loads of you, again.

 

And if anyone wants a chat, pm me anytime. 

Lovin some very good news. Onya Tom

 

Thanks for sharing, good luck for the future

[ozleicester]

1 hour ago, urban.spaceman said:

That's the exact reason I don't post updates - for the benefit of everyone else's mental health!

If you think it will help you... update us mate. 

 

Good or bad if sharing helps, then share away, if you dont want it public, i (and many others it seems) are always happy to chat in PM etc.

 

[ozleicester]

Just a note to anyone who has posted in this topic and is struggling... feel free to drop a line /have a chat if you think it would help.

 

Im often online during the UK  night time and happy to listen or generally chat about anything, if it you think it will help.... ill chat about it. (or if you just want to rant  )

[tom27111]

5 hours ago, urban.spaceman said:

That's the exact reason I don't post updates - for the benefit of everyone else's mental health!

 

You'll get there, not saying it's easy, but with the right help and little changes, it gets better.

[Ozwin]

Hope it's alright to post this here but anyone had any joy with SAD lamps at all? I really think I suffer somewhat from seasonal affective disorder as every year at this time of year I tend to feel more down, less motivated and just generally lethargic most of the time. It's a real struggle as I work and go to university and I have real trouble getting myself going on a day to day basis. If it was just a one off I'd just deal with it I think but I've had it for the last three years for sure now and it's just horrible. 

 

I hate to compare it to anything you folks have struggled with as it's absolutely not the same and is almost laughable in comparison really but thought I'd ask and see if they work at all or if you've had joy with anything else?

[stripeyfox]

14 hours ago, tom27111 said:

A bit more of an update for everyone...it's not gloating, just an update and showing people you can get through this...

 

Loving my job, just working in a bar, but it's going really well and I'm already in line for a promotion. Nobody there likes sport, so I'm charge of twitter, mainly big up Leicester and slag off other teams! 

 

Found a place of my own to move into at the start of December, can't wait.

 

Seeing a girl who is incredible, knows all about my past and is fine with everything. 

 

Basically, things are good. 11 months since I was voluntary in hospital.

 

Everyone can get through this.

 

A huge thank you to loads of you, again.

 

And if anyone wants a chat, pm me anytime. 

Good to hear mate. Really pleased for you fella. 

[Izzy]

38 minutes ago, Ozwin said:

Hope it's alright to post this here but anyone had any joy with SAD lamps at all? I really think I suffer somewhat from seasonal affective disorder as every year at this time of year I tend to feel more down, less motivated and just generally lethargic most of the time. It's a real struggle as I work and go to university and I have real trouble getting myself going on a day to day basis. If it was just a one off I'd just deal with it I think but I've had it for the last three years for sure now and it's just horrible. 

 

I hate to compare it to anything you folks have struggled with as it's absolutely not the same and is almost laughable in comparison really but thought I'd ask and see if they work at all or if you've had joy with anything else?

I've often thought about getting one but the wife doesn't particularly want one on in the bedroom in the mornings. If I lived on my own I'd definitely get one. If you look at all the reviews on Amazon I'd say over 90% of people think they're a good investment and really help them.

 

Please don't dismiss suffering from SAD as laughable in comparison to depression - it's a serious condition. I completely empathise with your situation and also hate this time of year. My work is sporadic and often from home and when I'm not busy I can get really down - especially when it gets dark early. When the weather is cold, damp and miserable I just find myself staying indoors and some days spend hours in bed having 'cat naps'.

 

If it's a recurring theme for you over the last three years then I'd definitely look at getting a SAD lamp. Anything that helps getting through until Spring time is a good idea I'd suggest...

[Ozwin]

Cheers Izzy, I think I'm going to do it. It's just something that I see a lot of people scoff at and I sometimes question myself if anything really is going on. Even if there's a placebo effect going on then it's something too.

[Izzy]

4 minutes ago, Ozwin said:

Cheers Izzy, I think I'm going to do it. It's just something that I see a lot of people scoff at and I sometimes question myself if anything really is going on. Even if there's a placebo effect going on then it's something too.

Fvck what other people think or say about it.

 

The NHS say that SAD is a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern. It affect about 1 in 15 on the U.K. population - if not more.

 

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/

 

Look after yourself mate and do the right thing.

 

£50 on a decent lamp could be the best money you spend this winter 

[Jon the Hat]

21 minutes ago, Ozwin said:

Cheers Izzy, I think I'm going to do it. It's just something that I see a lot of people scoff at and I sometimes question myself if anything really is going on. Even if there's a placebo effect going on then it's something too.

I have a Pure dab wake up clock alarm which slowly increases the light in the morning and then wakes you with an alarm after 30 mins. Helps get up at 5.45am!

[foxfanazer]

On 07/11/2017 at 02:16, tom27111 said:

A bit more of an update for everyone...it's not gloating, just an update and showing people you can get through this...

 

Loving my job, just working in a bar, but it's going really well and I'm already in line for a promotion. Nobody there likes sport, so I'm charge of twitter, mainly big up Leicester and slag off other teams! 

 

Found a place of my own to move into at the start of December, can't wait.

 

Seeing a girl who is incredible, knows all about my past and is fine with everything. 

 

Basically, things are good. 11 months since I was voluntary in hospital.

 

Everyone can get through this.

 

A huge thank you to loads of you, again.

 

And if anyone wants a chat, pm me anytime. 

 

nice  to hear you’re  doing so well Tom!

 

Edited 8 November 2017 by foxfanazer

[ithuriel]

I have suffered, still do suffer with depression and I have looked into the abyss and somehow pulled back from it.

I've become quite fatalistic and blunt but I just get on with my life now, I'll die someday but not today.

 

[Countryfox]

On 7 November 2017 at 02:16, tom27111 said:

A bit more of an update for everyone...it's not gloating, just an update and showing people you can get through this...

 

Loving my job, just working in a bar, but it's going really well and I'm already in line for a promotion. Nobody there likes sport, so I'm charge of twitter, mainly big up Leicester and slag off other teams! 

 

Found a place of my own to move into at the start of December, can't wait.

 

Seeing a girl who is incredible, knows all about my past and is fine with everything. 

 

Basically, things are good. 11 months since I was voluntary in hospital.

 

Everyone can get through this.

 

A huge thank you to loads of you, again.

 

And if anyone wants a chat, pm me anytime. 

 

Nice one Tom !! ...    And d'you know what ..   Your post also gives everyone reading it a lift too ...   Keep it up lad !   

[stripeyfox]

22 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

Fvck what other people think or say about it.

 

The NHS say that SAD is a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern. It affect about 1 in 15 on the U.K. population - if not more.

 

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/seasonal-affective-disorder-sad/

 

Look after yourself mate and do the right thing.

 

£50 on a decent lamp could be the best money you spend this winter 

I freaking love you Izzy man. You are such a good guy - you have a way with people, you always know what to say. Please never stop helping people or cracking shit jokes!

 

@Ozwin - SAD is a "thing" so don't be embarrassed about it. The lamp has to be worth a try. I hate the winter. I hate Christmas as it was always a flashpoint for conflict in our house growing up. I have to get excited for it now for the kids but I have bad associations with winter and christmas. I can't wait for the lighter nights!

 

 

 

[Wymsey]

The Christmas and New Year periods have different feelings for me, ones that I don't really feel during the other times of the year.

When all the family are around, often wonder "will this be the last festive period for someone (particularly the older ones?) etc".

At the year end, there's that period of reflection of what's happened this year, whether it's been a success etc and uncertainty over what the next year will bring.

[SpacedX]

53 minutes ago, stripeyfox said:

I freaking love you Izzy man. You are such a good guy - you have a way with people, you always know what to say. Please never stop helping people or cracking shit jokes!

 

 

No - really, please do stop.

[Izzy]

3 hours ago, ithuriel said:

I have suffered, still do suffer with depression and I have looked into the abyss and somehow pulled back from it.

I've become quite fatalistic and blunt but I just get on with my life now, I'll die someday but not today.

 

What do you mean by becoming quite fatalistic mate?

[Izzy]

34 minutes ago, Wymeswold fox said:

The Christmas and New Year periods have different feelings for me, ones that I don't really feel during the other times of the year.

When all the family are around, often wonder "will this be the last festive period for someone (particularly the older ones?) etc".

At the year end, there's that period of reflection of what's happened this year, whether it's been a success etc and uncertainty over what the next year will bring.

I think it's only natural to look back on the year and reflect whilst also wondering about the year ahead.

 

I fookin hate Christmas FWIW. Too much build up and expectation and trying to keep everyone equally happy on both sides of the family. 

 

I guess none of us know what the New Year will bring. I used to get anxious about the uncertainty but it's just wasted energy. What will be will be and I'll just have to deal with it.

 

I do hope you have a better 2018 though Wymesy. Sounds like 2017 has been a bit of a shitter for you. Maybe next year all your dreams will come true 

 

[Strokes]

28 minutes ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

What do you mean by becoming quite fatalistic mate?

I think it means that everything is pre determined, so there’s nothing you can change.

[HybridFox]

It looked like I was gradually coming out of depression but hit absolute rock bottom again these last few weeks. What felt like jabs before is now a fully blown KO.

 

Had to turn down a dream job offer I worked my socks off for (online tests, applications, interviews etc plus all the rejections I had to take from other firms), to now stay back and stabilise the family business.

 

As a graduate in the summer, I had big aspirations and couldn't wait to finally put my struggles at university behind me and move on with my life. It had been hell at times and the only light I could see at the end of the tunnel was that it would be over soon and I'd be working in a field of my choice.

 

But it just feels like I'm stuck in the past now. I was only meant to be working with my parents to not sit idle while I looked for jobs. But key staff leaving all of a sudden means I had to take on extra responsibility and was under increasing pressure to sign on for the long term. Through no fault of my own, I found myself in a position where it was becoming impossible to leave. As it is family, there's that natural guilt as well. I feel as though I am doing this for them but on a personal level, it's bringing me no pleasure or happiness.

 

I know other opportunities to move on may come in the future when times are better. And yes there are many people more worse off than me. But I'm so ridden with regret every single day, reminiscing about what could have been.

 

I feel embarrassed at social gatherings to discuss my work, as it doesn't feel like something I've earned. Just doing by circumstance. I never truly feel like a proper employee being "the boss's son" 

 

I just wanted a clean slate, a new beginning where I could be myself again and meet new people. I had my career path mapped out. But knowing that I'm committed here instead for the long run, I just don't know how I can shut out this viscious cycle of bad feelings and thoughts. I feel so down all the time

Edited 9 November 2017 by TK95

[Countryfox]

2 hours ago, TK95 said:

It looked like I was gradually coming out of depression but hit absolute rock bottom again these last few weeks. What felt like jabs before is now a fully blown KO.

 

Had to turn down a dream job offer I worked my socks off for (online tests, applications, interviews etc plus all the rejections I had to take from other firms), to now stay back and stabilise the family business.

 

As a graduate in the summer, I had big aspirations and couldn't wait to finally put my struggles at university behind me and move on with my life. It had been hell at times and the only light I could see at the end of the tunnel was that it would be over soon and I'd be working in a field of my choice.

 

But it just feels like I'm stuck in the past now. I was only meant to be working with my parents to not sit idle while I looked for jobs. But key staff leaving all of a sudden means I had to take on extra responsibility and was under increasing pressure to sign on for the long term. Through no fault of my own, I found myself in a position where it was becoming impossible to leave. As it is family, there's that natural guilt as well. I feel as though I am doing this for them but on a personal level, it's bringing me no pleasure or happiness.

 

I know other opportunities to move on may come in the future when times are better. And yes there are many people more worse off than me. But I'm so ridden with regret every single day, reminiscing about what could have been.

 

I feel embarrassed at social gatherings to discuss my work, as it doesn't feel like something I've earned. Just doing by circumstance. I never truly feel like a proper employee being "the boss's son" 

 

I just wanted a clean slate, a new beginning where I could be myself again and meet new people. I had my career path mapped out. But knowing that I'm committed here instead for the long run, I just don't know how I can shut out this viscious cycle of bad feelings and thoughts. I feel so down all the time

 

Have you told your parents ? ...   If not , do so.  Let them know how you feel and how it's affecting you ...   perhaps give them a time period over which you will give 100% to their business and after that move on.  You will have helped them but then its your life and you can follow your own path.  During that period you can look for another 'dream' job (and it may even be better than the one you turned down) and they can work on finding a replacement for you.  You need something to aim for ...   all the best mate.

Edited 9 November 2017 by Countryfox

[ozleicester]

2 hours ago, TK95 said:

It looked like I was gradually coming out of depression but hit absolute rock bottom again these last few weeks. What felt like jabs before is now a fully blown KO.

 

Had to turn down a dream job offer I worked my socks off for (online tests, applications, interviews etc plus all the rejections I had to take from other firms), to now stay back and stabilise the family business.

 

As a graduate in the summer, I had big aspirations and couldn't wait to finally put my struggles at university behind me and move on with my life. It had been hell at times and the only light I could see at the end of the tunnel was that it would be over soon and I'd be working in a field of my choice.

 

But it just feels like I'm stuck in the past now. I was only meant to be working with my parents to not sit idle while I looked for jobs. But key staff leaving all of a sudden means I had to take on extra responsibility and was under increasing pressure to sign on for the long term. Through no fault of my own, I found myself in a position where it was becoming impossible to leave. As it is family, there's that natural guilt as well. I feel as though I am doing this for them but on a personal level, it's bringing me no pleasure or happiness.

 

I know other opportunities to move on may come in the future when times are better. And yes there are many people more worse off than me. But I'm so ridden with regret every single day, reminiscing about what could have been.

 

I feel embarrassed at social gatherings to discuss my work, as it doesn't feel like something I've earned. Just doing by circumstance. I never truly feel like a proper employee being "the boss's son" 

 

I just wanted a clean slate, a new beginning where I could be myself again and meet new people. I had my career path mapped out. But knowing that I'm committed here instead for the long run, I just don't know how I can shut out this viscious cycle of bad feelings and thoughts. I feel so down all the time

That sounds pretty crap, sorry to hear it... as CF has said above, see if you can talk to your family, you can rest assured they love you and want what is best.

 

Have a chat to your GP and anyone else who might be able to help you... talking is almost always the best way to start to move to where you need to be. The cycle will be manageable but it might take a little time and some outside help, but it will be worth it.

[ithuriel]

8 hours ago, Izzy Muzzett said:

What do you mean by becoming quite fatalistic mate?

The thought of death does not bother me and since death is about the worst thing that can happen other stuff no longer bothers me as much as it used to

I have suffered depression on and off through my life but when I suffered a hand injury at work and was on the sick for four months it snow balled, took me a long time to recover mentally and it definitely changed me.

I guess I'm a lot colder these days and I care a lot less than I used to.

[Lionator]

So I thought I'd give a little update now that I'm nearly 4 weeks into my Citalopram adventures. As posted on here, the first week was hellish, the side effects really hit me and I felt very fluey and quite honestly depressed. After day 7 those side effects suddenly seemed to subside. After that I'd still be very anxious especially in the mornings but could function. Now through week 3 and 4 things have started to change, I simply have stopped being anxious, the thoughts are there but they float away into the distance within seconds. I feel normal and feeling normal feels great, not euphoric, just what I thought being normal would feel like and it really has woken me up to just how much I've had to deal with in terms of anxiety effecting my day to day life. I'm just hoping that it continues. If like me you're a skeptic with anti-d's then my advice would be to give them a go as in a very short space of time they've completely transformed my mindset even at the minimum dose (I understand they don't work for all).